Crying cause his team knocked out of Europe

For one second ginger thought he may have some friends

 

 

 

Council estate songkran

 

 

A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends.

 

“Oh, no!” she suddenly exclaimed. “Look at the time! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband. He’ll be so annoyed if it’s not ready on time.”

 

When she got home, she opened a can of cat food, stirred in an egg 

and garnished it with a lettuce leaf.

 

She greeted her husband warmly when he came home, and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, he seemed to be enjoying it.

 

“Darling, this is the best dinner you’ve made me in 40 years of marriage! You can make this for me any day.”

Needless to say, every golf day from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish.

 

She told her golf partners about it and they were all horrified.

“You’re going to kill him!” they exclaimed.

Two months later, her husband died.

 

The women were sitting around the clubhouse and one of them said, “You killed him! We told you that feeding him cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly knowing you murdered your husband?”

 

The wife stoically replied, “I didn’t kill him. He fell off the window sill while he was licking his ass”

 

 

 

A group of Sydney bikers were riding west when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge

So they stopped.

 

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, got off his Harley, walked through a group of gawkers, past the police officer who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and said:

“Hey Baby

Whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?”

 

She said tearfully: “I'm going to jump”.

 

While he didn't want to appear ‘sensitive', George didn't want to miss this ‘be-a-legend' opportunity either, so he asked: “Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe… why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?”

 

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that 

It was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another, even better one.

 

After they breathlessly finished, George got a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the police officer.

 

“Wow!” said George

“That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts

You could be famous if you rode with me

 

Why the hell are you gonna jump?”

“My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl”.

 

 

It was a sunny day in the Valley. When we got back to the car in the open lot, of course it was about a zillion degrees. So we aired it out with the doors open as might we could.

When the temperature dropped to about 110, like the ambient temperature, we hopped in the car, started it up, and turned the air conditioning up to a roar.

As the cabin cooled down to around 90, I told my wife, “Let me know when you have enough air.”

She turned and gave me this very odd look, stared at me for about a half minute, then said:

“Funny you should say that. You know last week when I went to the supermarket and came home late because I said I had to go to the next burg for tomato sauce? Well that wasn’t it. I met Stuart Helm—you remember him from high school? He was so happy to see me, and well, I don’t know. Something just clicked. And the next thing I know, we were across the street at the Motel 6. That’s why I was late. ’Cause, you know, you said I should let you know.”

You’ve heard of too much information? That is absolutely the last time I ask her to let me know when she has enough air.

----------------------------------------------------------

 

Have enough air = Have an affair