I'm not saying she is frigid but when she was a baby, she was so shy,

she used to change her own nappies!

28 minutes ago, roo860 said:

The  future Mr&Mrs Peg have met their match!

Ah! A happy snappy romance.

I hope they hang-on for the nuptials and don't get blown away when they spring apart to get ofline and undressed and their hanger-on friends fold up and go back in the closet!

3 minutes ago, roo860 said:

I have just forwarded the above to my Scot and Geordie friends!

 

PS;  Standby for a race discrimination complaint and law suite by the PC Brigade!

6 hours ago, roo860 said:

bloody ell!!!

not funny 

Sweet childhood memories

When I was young, my mother used to read me Winnie the Pooh before going to sleep.
But I still think it is the most vindictive chapter in Nelson Mandela's autobiography. ????

When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him if he had ever had sex. "Tarzan not know sex." he replied. Jane explained to him what it was.

Tarzan said, "Ohhh...Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, Jane said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothing and lay down on the ground.

"Here." she said, pointing to her privates. "You must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable man****, stepped closer to her and kicked her right in the crotch!

Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.

Eventually, she managed to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?!"

Tarzan replied, "Check for squirrel."

There was a man who had 3 girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spent it.
Long
The first 1 went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much." The 2nd one went out and bought new golf clubs, a Dvd player, a television, and a stereo and gave them to the man. She said, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much." The 3rd one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."

The man thought hard about how each of the women spent the money. Finally, being a man he decided to marry the one with the biggest t**s.

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Latest Survey poll showed that over 92% of women who wear Yoga pants don't even do Yoga.

 

Also showed that 100% of men don't give a  <deleted>

I’m probably just being paranoid but I can definitely see five Peruvian owls standing on my fence, watching me through the kitchen window. I’m sure they're Inca hoots...