????

1 hour ago, sanuk711 said:

      You heard it here on Thai Visa FIRST...!!

How dare you. It's called ASEAN NOW!

Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?" 

"I don't know," replied the other baby giggling. 
"What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby. 
"I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply. 
"Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling, "I'll climb into your crib and find out." 

He carefully got himself into the other baby's crib, then quickly disappeared in to the blankets. 
After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big smile on his face. 
"You're a little girl, and I'm a little boy," he said proudly. 

"You're ever so clever," said the baby girl, "but how can you tell?" 
"It's quite easy really," replied the baby boy 

 

"you've got pink socks and I've got blue ones.

THE AFGHAN FOOTBALLER

The Liverpool FC manager flies to Kabul to watch a Young Afghani play football, is suitably impressed And arranges for him to come over.

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Chelsea With only 20 minutes left, the manager gives the young Afghani striker the nod and on he goes.

The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and Wins the game for Liverpool . The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.

When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.

'Hello mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20 minutes Today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me.'

'Wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such a great time.'

The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say mum, but I'm really sorry.'

'Sorry? Sorry?' says his mum, 'It's your bloody fault we came to Liverpool in the first place!'

5 hours ago, fangless said:

A man heard about the discovery of gold in California. 
He immediately packed up his possessions and moved out west. 
Six months later, he gave up and returned home. 
Why? 

It didn’t pan out.
 

Keep those nuggets coming.

Whoever said nothing was impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.

Liven up your cat's morning by filling its litter tray with rice krispies.

31 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I do hope it was done in a low key!

31 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Did he have to shell out for the hammock?

6 hours ago, sanuk711 said:

Does that make you a mindless ventriloquist?

5 hours ago, KC 71 said:

????

Just goes to prove you need balls to do the high jump!

 

2 hours ago, Zyxel said:

I wonder if he will let me touch his gibblets after our first peck?

If so should I egg him on.