oh hello!

My wife is one of a kind. She never says no to a <deleted>, has great tits and even swallows.
But her bird collecting has gone far enough now.

Today I accidentally made my coffee with red bull instead of water.
I got halfway to work before I realised I forgot my car.

I ate a kids meal at McDonald's today...
His mom got REALLY angry with me.

10 hours ago, fangless said:

Why do we keep getting reposts of another posters offerings?

In this case they are less than 10 hours apart!

I am fangful that you warned me of that...

1 hour ago, tomazbodner said:

I am fangful that you warned me of that...

Do it again and I will suck you to death!

????

2 hours ago, ravip said:

My wife is one of a kind. She never says no to a <deleted>, has great tits and even swallows.
But her bird collecting has gone far enough now.

Youv'e got me!  What the <deleted> was the deleted bird?

 

 

 

 

“I like to go into The Body Shop and shout out really loud,

 

‘I’ve already got one, can I trade it in?'”

 

 

 

“There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me, ‘oh, don’t worry, it happens to a lot of guys.’ OK, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys? And second of all if it’s happening to more than one of us, don’t you think it could be your fault?”
 

During the first few weeks of Weight Watchers, you’re just finding your feet?

 

 

 

“My girlfriend bought a cookbook the other day called Cheap and Easy Vegetarian Cooking. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian…”
 

“My Dad’s dying wish was to have his family around him. I can’t help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.”
 

  According to all these “Live Aid” type programmes if you took all the money that we in the West spend on food in one week, you could feed the Third World for a year. I’m not sure about you, but I think we’re being grossly overcharged on groceries if that is true.
 

My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. I didn’t think it the best advice I’d ever been given but I thought I should give it a go so I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very surprised as was his secretary who was surprisingly nice about it. Mum was right though as I got the bike for keeping quiet.
 

17 minutes ago, fangless said:

Youv'e got me!  What the <deleted> was the deleted bird?

 

Probably a sh*g - and yes, that is a real bird!

19 minutes ago, fangless said:

Youv'e got me!  What the <deleted> was the deleted bird?

 

Yesterday one of my good friends told me I often make people feel uncomfortable by violating their personal space.

It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.

North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, which is a bit scary.
If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.

Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball,
a spokesman for the circus said "We'll struggle to get another man of the same calibre."

2 hours ago, ravip said:

My wife is one of a kind. She never says no to a <deleted>, has great tits and even swallows.
But her bird collecting has gone far enough now.

She never says no to a cock,