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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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7 hours ago, doctormann said:

Probably a sh*g - and yes, that is a real bird!

A male hen perhaps?

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8 hours ago, fangless said:

Youv'e got me!  What the <deleted> was the deleted bird?

 

A quick thankyou to all who reponded with the correct answer.  It was actually part of a police test which you all passed ;  You are all now on the potential sex offenders list due to your proven filthy minds!

????

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4 minutes ago, fangless said:

A quick thankyou to all who reponded with the correct answer.  It was actually part of a police test which you all passed ;  You are all now on the potential sex offenders list due to your proven filthy minds!

????

In my defence officer, I'm an ex-pipe smoker... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shag_(tobacco) 

 

Who's just replaced the rugs in the living room... 

 https://vancouver.floorcoveringsinternational.com/articles/the-history-of-<deleted>-carpeting/#:~:text=<deleted> rugs are a type,faces up from the backing.

 

 

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18 minutes ago, Mike Teavee said:

In my defence officer, I'm an ex-pipe smoker... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shag_(tobacco) 

Who's just replaced the rugs in the living room... 

 https://vancouver.floorcoveringsinternational.com/articles/the-history-of-<deleted>-carpeting/#:~:text=<deleted> rugs are a type,faces up from the backing.

18 minutes ago, Mike Teavee said:

 

You can stuff that excuse in your pipe and smoke it.  Your still nicked!

 

And you are going to get carpetted for adding an edit after I have read/commented on it.

Oops; Note to self I ave just added an edit after the original post has been seen!

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24 minutes ago, fangless said:

Who's just replaced the rugs in the living room... 

 https://vancouver.floorcoveringsinternational.com/articles/the-history-of-<deleted>-carpeting/#:~:text=<deleted> rugs are a type,faces up from the backing.

You can stuff that excuse in your pipe and smoke it.  Your still nicked!

 

And you are going to get carpetted for adding an edit after I have read/commented on it.

Oops; Note to self I ave just added an edit after the original post has been seen!

Lol, and I just added an extra ???? 555

 

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Takeaway?

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The Italian Math Challenge

An Italian workman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. Here's your first question,' the foreman said. 'Without using numbers, represent the number 9.'

 

'Withouta numbers?' the Italian says, 'Datsa easy.' and he proceeds to draw three trees.

 

'What's this?' the boss asks.

'Ave you gotta no brain? Tree and tree and tree makes a nine,' says the Italian.

'Fair enough,' says the boss. 'Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.'

 

The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree . 'Ere you go.'

 

The boss scratches his head and says, 'How on earth do you get that to represent 99?' '

 

Eacha of da trees is a dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Datsa a 99.'

 

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian, so he says, 'All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.'

 

The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, 'Ere you go. One hundred.'

 

The boss looks at the attempt. 'You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!'

 

The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, 'A little doga come along and <deleted>a by eacha tree.

 

So now you gota dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, data makea one hundred.

 

So, whenna I start?

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An old lady... 

May be an image of text that says 'An old lady offers the bus driver some peanuts... so the driver happily munches them. Every 5 minutes she gives him a handful more peanuts.. Driver: Why don' you eat them yourself? Old lady: I can't chew. Look, I have no teeth.. Driver: Then why do you buy them? Old lady: "Oh, I just love the chocolates around them."'

 

 

 

17 hours ago, ravip said:

My wife is one of a kind. She never says no to a <deleted>, has great tits and even swallows.
But her bird collecting has gone far enough now.

Haven't heard the term since childhood but 'goose' was often used.

????  

5 hours ago, bobandyson said:

Haven't heard the term since childhood but 'goose' was often used.

????  

My wife would just cook mine if I tried something like that!

10 hours ago, tomazbodner said:

May be a cartoon

Gary Larson cartoon. One of the great cartoonists of our time.  Sooo off-the-wall.

 

image.png.89ae9be8f5898c79c4155dfc8612338a.png

 

 

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