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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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An insurance agent approaches a cowboy, trying to sell him an accident policy.

 

The agent inquires, "Have you ever had an accident?"

 

"Never," the cowboy responds. "However, just recently a horse kicked in two of my ribs, and back a couple years ago a rattlesnake bit my ankle."

 

"Wouldn't you call these accidents?" says the puzzled agent.

 

"Nah," the cowboy replies. "They both did it on purpose!"

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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 3K dollars.

 

That is why in the Navy, the Captain goes down with the ship.

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Not new, but it circulated back into my eyeline today.

 

As a U.S. Navy ship was approaching the pier at it's homeport, the captain noticed a sailor on the flight deck waving semaphore flags wildly.

 

On the pier, a young lady was standing on top of a station wagon waving flags back at the sailor.


Concerned, the captain asked a signalman, "What messages are those two people sending to each other?"
The signalman replied, "Captain, he is sending the letters FF, and she is flashing back the letters EF ."


The captain ordered the sailor to the bridge. When he arrived, the captain asked, "Who is that woman and why are you exchanging the signals FF and EF ?"


The sailor replied, "Captain, that is my girlfriend, and she wants to eat first." :whistling:

 

"I don't want to know why you can't. I want to know how you can!"

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