Issan girls good or bad

[sevinnow]

So many threads paint a picture about the "Issan Girls" and their families.

Do they really veiw the farang as a walking ATM machine or are the guys in this forum just painting every Issan girl with the same bush because they had a bad experience based on their own stupidy....ie....

Promised the world and more to the girl but just another case of "Champayne taste but lemonade pockets"

Personally I think they are a really geniune breed of people !!!

Sev

:cool:

[PattayaSteve]

Hi Sevin - The few I've met are really the genuine breed.  The last one was so excited my name was Jim and she was from the town Jim Thompson made famous.  Even though I gave her just a little bit of money she always brought me presents (thai silk, a flower, etc).  And the best thai massages ever.  

[danbo]

I think it's nonsense to make generalisations about whole "races" of people.  It's a cliche, but a cliche because it's true, that there's "good" and there's "bad".  The environment that Isaan girls grow up in, and the environment they maybe later work in, shape their personalities; however, whether by nature or nurture I believe that you are either a

"good-guy" or a "bad-guy".

My experience of Isaan (and most peoples experience I guess) is that there are people who offer nothing but a smile on their face; they then hold their hands out unashamedly for payment for the honor of meeting them.  Then there are  others who will happily share the little they have, show genuine care for one's well-being with no expectation of "reward".   The same situation (maybe more subtle and sophisticated) the world over.

With regard to the attitude to Farang "ATMs" - well, what do we expect ?  We nonchalantly leave a tip for a stranger which is equal to what the girl's father would have had to work for a whole day for (and bloody hard work it is too) in the rice field.  Also, we should remember that in the vast majority of cases the girl's initial attraction to us wasn't based on our resemblance to Brad Pitt, it was on our resemblance to an ATM.

I think patience is the key to a relationship.  Time is needed to break down pre-conceptions and to build a level of trust and understanding on both sides.  From their perspective, we are holding onto them on the trapeze swing with no safety net to catch them if we let go.  From our perspective we expect them to be like the "girl next door"; except the

girl next door never had to eat insects and rodents because they had nothing else to eat.

Anyhow must rush, there's a long queue in front of me and it takes time checking the pin numbers.  

Best Wishes

Dan.

[exchange1973]

"bad or good", what a provocating statement!

Farang=walking ATM?

my experience is quit different from this! My wife is isaan and the only thing i experienced is that isaan people are very friendly and warmhearted!

"only offer a smile", that's really bullshit (sorry)!

When we visit some friends in isaan, we are invited to eat and drink and nobody expect me to pay some $$$ or €€€!

These people are helping each other and my experience is, when you get some help from issan people, they don't differ whether you are thai/isaan or farang! AND when they help you, they don't hold their hands for some money!

A kind of help you don't get in europe, especially germany (i'm german).

so my statement is quite clear:

I love Isaan and the people who live there. And i'm very proud to have a family and very good friends in Isaan!

[flackjacket]

There is good and bad in every race and country. What always sticks in ones mind is the bad experience.

My wife and her family are from Isaan, a very poor part of it too but I have never seen anything other than hospitality and friendship. In fact the land my house was built on was given to me by my wifes mother. Certainly I have put somthing into the local society by way of free English classes in local schools, suporting local events and even I suppose the local labour used to build my house (and that was above average). Am I an ATM, no not in our village, supplier of the odd glass of malt whisky, Yes.

[danbo]

Dear Exchange1973 re:

"only offer a smile", that's really bullshit (sorry)!"

My point was that there are "some" people (strangers) who will ask for money because "we" are Farang.  I countered this with the point that there are many who will also share the little they have happily.  That is, there is "good" and "bad".

To paint everyone as a saint is as non-sensical as condemning everyone as a demon.

If a Thai person went to the Staes, England, Germany, France etc etc they could meet someone who would make them feel welcome out of genuine kindness, and they could also meet someone who would try to extract the last "Baht" they had out of them . I think generalisations of a "group" of people are nonsense, and historically have proved to be dangerous.

NB:  I think the terms "good" and "bad" are not the best (can't think of a better ones though).

Best Wishes

Dan.

[Feolf]

I teach English at an Isaan university. Students’ ability to speak and understand English is assessed in an interview. We teachers  get to ask them all sorts of questions. When I ask what they plan to do when they graduate, many of the girls say they will return to their home town or village so they can look after their parents who are getting old (probably younger than me).

I come from Australia. These students, boys and girls, appear to me to be as innocent as the average Australian 12 year old.

I love these students. Many become personal friends and stay that way after they graduate. I can tell you that many of these girls still obey their parents in every way, even though they have graduated and are 22 years old!

How good is that?  

[MaiChai]

In my experience, Isan people are the same as Thais from other parts of TL regarding this farang=ATM symdrome. Basically, everybody shares everything in the community; where this all falls down is if one person in the community is wealthier than his neighbours. In this instance, this person contributes more, until he/she gets fed up and does something about it. Everybody shares things with me (the farang) in my village, and I share back. However, they know now that I get really pissed off when I end up paying for everything. So they understand that I don't want to pay for everything, and I expect them to share with me, which they do now. The relationship is so good now, that I regularly get people buying Beer Chang for me to drink when I visit them, while they drink their cheaper lowcow (lowbaa; illegal whiskey). I drink lowcow too; but prefer beer. So the answer is that you have to show that you are willing to be part of the sharing arrangement, otherwise you will be excluded. However, you have to be firm and not let it get out of hand. Thais spend their lives joking around (talung mark), to the point where it really is taking the piss. You have to be firm and not let them take the piss.

Note when the shoe is on the other foot. How many times have you visited a Thai persons house, and they have asked you to eat with them, or to drink with them? And they would pretty well do anything for you. Its just the Thai way.

I have several farangs who live near me who have not sused out this sharing give and take arrangement. They stay in their compounds and don't really mix with the Thais in our village. They are excluded, and the rest of the village spends all their time gossiping about them, and basically making them out to be bad people. I don't suffer all this, am well liked, and am invited to all the activities that happen in the village (last one was driving round the village collecting money for the wat).

Here is a little story. A neighbour borrowed my pump to pump up the tyres on his motorbike. He returned it to me broken, and said nothing. I complained to my wife about this and told her he should pay for breaking it. She said "Why did you tell him you had a pump, you should have said it is broken." She was far too polite to demand the money off the neighbour, and felt it better to not say anything and not create a bad situation with the neighbour. So we have a new pump, which is locked away with all the tools and things I have bought that I don't lend to people. We give people the broken pump when they want to borrow it, or tell them its broken. We also have a bicycle that used to sit outside with the motorbike, and everyone used to borrow it. Now it lives inside, out of sight, and never gets borrowed (and thus rarely needs repairing). And I'm not even going to mention Thais being heavy handed and breaking everything in sight...

[MaiChai]

But I would like to add that Thailand is the most wonderful place I have ever lived, and would not want to live anywhere else! TiT

[sevinnow]

Feolf is very much right.   My impression is the girls from Issan seem very "obligated" to their parents and would move heaven and earth to be with them rather than work in a Bar.

Once you have been "accepted" for a better phrase, you soon become part of the high's and low's of the village communtity

sharing the odd pig at funerals and weddings, and having a few beers round the outside table......even the local dogs seem to accept you and don't try taking a piece of your leg as you walk by!!!

Life is short, and to expell people from a village community which you have made your home seems like the 19th centuary colony uprise all over again... we all know how big the "british empire" is NOW .

Take and embrace what good fortune we have in LOS because those with short memories: Life is a piece of shit in England/Europe/USA..in comparison.

Sev

:cool:

[Thetyim]

Hey Flakjacket can you please explain how your mother in law managed to give you some land.

Is it registered in your name ???

Wouldn't it be truer to say that you have been allowed to build a house on somebody elses land