Is kindness seen as a weakness??

[georgegeorgia]

20 hours ago, Happy Grumpy said:

No.

 

It's seen as weakness + stupidity.

 

 

Unless there is some self-advantage to it down the line.

 

 

Self advantage is the only thing that matters. 

 

 

Are you saying there is only  reason to be kind  to someone and that is to advantage yourself?  I think that your right it does happen in some cultures

9 hours ago, 473geo said:

"character is how you treat someone who can do nothing for you"

 

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

What do you mean by this ?

 

i must say if you havent got assertiveness before Thailand you soon develop it ; whether thats learning to say no or developing the trait to ask about prices and bills etc

Edited December 26, 2018 by georgegeorgia

[mauGR1]

2 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

9 hours ago, 473geo said:

"character is how you treat someone who can do nothing for you"

 

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

What do you mean by this ?

It means that it's better to be kind without expecting anything in return.

It's better for you and for the others too.

J.W. Goethe cannot be wrong.

[georgegeorgia]

4 minutes ago, mauGR1 said:

It means that it's better to be kind without expecting anything in return.

It's better for you and for the others too.

J.W. Goethe cannot be wrong.

Sure but some cultures prey on this kindness and take advantage.

 

and in places like Asia I honestly believe Westerners change after awhile to develop a thick skin and become more assertive AND more wary , non trusting .

 

twice bitten twice shy saying 

 

I shouldnt stereotype , but i always in my experience found American people more assertive and have no hesitation in saying No , maybe they were brought up more to be like that.

 

 

 

Edited December 26, 2018 by georgegeorgia

[mauGR1]

2 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

Sure but some cultures prey on this kindness and take advantage.

 

and in places like Asia I honestly believe Westerners change after awhile to develop a thick skin and become more assertive AND more wary , non trusting .

 

twice bitten twice shy saying 

 

 

 

 

I hear you, there's a saying for that, never give pearls to the swine.

The difficult part is to understand who deserves your generosity, and who doesn't.

But we have to discriminate between being kind and being generous..Kindness costs nothing, but generosity is for the ones who can afford it.

[georgegeorgia]

I mean how many of us in Thailand say have gone out of our way to help other farang and i dont mean lending money , just helping them  with say moving house, helping them pack etc or helping with other stuff that no one else bothered to help them with and then after that they either asked for more from you or couldn’t even acknowledge you in the street or bar.

 

im done going out of my way for certain farangs only to be shitted on, i will get  to know them first a long time before going out of my way .

 

 

the worst thing you lend money and you become the bad guy because you have the audacity to ask for it back !!

 

of course the minute you ask them for a favour they are too busy to help you !

Edited December 26, 2018 by georgegeorgia

[mauGR1]

2 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

I mean how many of us in Thailand say have gone out of our way to help other farang and i dont mean lending money , just helping them  with say moving house, helping them pack etc or helping with other stuff that no one else bothered to help them with and then after that they either asked for more from you or couldn’t even acknowledge you in the street or bar.

 

the worst thing you lend money and you become the bad guy because you have the audacity to ask for it back !!

I believe that nothing gets lost, what you gave will come back to you, one way or another.

[swissie]

On 12/25/2018 at 8:11 AM, madmen said:

Worst thing to do is acknowledge them in first place. Never speak to them or make eye contact, just a gentle shake of the head looking away and they are gone

 

Where people get unstuck is talking to them eg but I already have a watch.

Once you start communicating they have your attention.. And the speil begins

 

No frigging way I'm going to engage with them when they keep coming at me in a bar one after the other. They have no manners.. If I'm eating and they are tapping me on the shoulder I give a good elbow shove

 

Sent from my Redmi Note 3 using Tapatalk

 

 

 

 

Yes indeed. Sitting at an exposed spot (easy stop for the motorbike sales brigades), is no fun any more.
At 20 to 30 second intervals somebody sticks you their fine selection of quality watches up your nose.
Example: Beach Road bars in Pattaya near Mike Shopping Mall. There it's strictly 20 second intervals. Hard to drink your Beer, if constant head-shaking is necessary.
Those watch sales-talents even pull up, when they have seen that the sales-guy before them has sold none of his watches there! A complete nuisense.

But it's not the fault of the sales-guys. It's the fault of the occasional Farang, that thinks he can buy a Rolex for 2000 Bht.
As long as it's financially more rewarding for a young able-bodied Thai to sell an occasional watch instead of working at a 7/11 or at a construction site, the "spiel" will continue eternally.

[cyberfarang]

Kindness has to come straight from the heart, doing good deeds, favours for people or giving without expecting anything back in return.