How to fail miserably in Thailand

[marcusarelus]

I'm an old guy got here in the 60's and moved her to retire in the 1990's.  I do well and have a nice life.

I thought I'd pass on some tips about the failures I've seen in hopes of helping others avoid some of the most obvious pitfalls.

 

1.  Come with not enough money.  Minimum is 800,000 in cash to be deposited in a Thai bank.

2.  Don't learn the language. 

3.  Insult people in large and small matters.  a.  Never Wai.  b.  Don't respect old people.  c.  Try and be taller than everyone.  d.  Point with your feet.  f.  Never eat Thai food.  g.  Insult monks (many ways to do this one).  h.  Touch people's heads.  I.  Write your name and funny messages on historic walls.

J.  Wear your shoes in a person's home or temple. 

 

I'm sure others will want to add to this one so I'll stop.

 

4.  Say bad things about Thailand's education,  intelligence in general,  and lack of ability to  innovate. 

5.  Make fun of the government and all things Thais hold sacred. 

6.  Constantly tell everyone things are not as good or clean or as tasty or good looking or as proper as in your home country. 

7.  Tell Thai men they are short, small and not brave.

8.  Tell Thai women they have big feet and small other parts.

9.  Tell everyone people are more beautiful and handsome in your country. 

10.  Tell Thai men if they like ladyboys they are gay.

11.   Ask people to find you a job as a teacher. 

 

I'm sure there are many who would like to contribute so I'll stop now. 

 

 

Edited January 26, 2019 by marcusarelus

[grollies]

Nope, think you just about covered it. Apart from the obvious comment on Thai driving skills....

[Vacuum]

Believe that the buffalo actually is sick and needs treatment.

[marcusarelus]

47 minutes ago, Vacuum said:

Believe that the buffalo actually is sick and needs treatment.

Giving money to a woman in a long distance relationship.  Yup sure fire way to F up.

[Kwasaki]

No need for a list for any country you go to. 

Don't say anything and don't tell nobody anything look after number one. 

[faraday]

When they don't understand you, shout at 'em!

 

Then run.

 

????

[CharlieH]

Dont leave your common sense in the departure lounge.

[AlexRich]

I’m not with you on the “wai” comment. I think foreigners look a bit stupid doing that, it is not their culture and every Thai understands that. Thais don’t change their culture when they are overseas, and no reasonable person would expect them too. However long you live in Thailand you are not and never will be Thai. 

 

 

 

[marcusarelus]

2 hours ago, AlexRich said:

I’m not with you on the “wai” comment. I think foreigners look a bit stupid doing that, it is not their culture and every Thai understands that. Thais don’t change their culture when they are overseas, and no reasonable person would expect them too. However long you live in Thailand you are not and never will be Thai. 

 

 

 

It's what a gentleman does.  You don't wai service people and most of the time only return wai's except if the person is older than you or more important than you.  I wai my doctor who saved my live by prompt action.  You should wai monks be they older or younger.  Of course this thread is about how to fail miserably in Thailand and if you want to do that you don't wai anyone.  You will be rewarded with failure and dislike. 

[OneMoreFarang]

12. Don't think you are smarter than everybody else because you have a longer and better formal education.

13. Even if you are smarter that doesn't mean you "win" against a Thai who lived here all his life and knows how things really work (independent of written laws and regulations)

14. If you think you have a great business idea and you will soon make a lot of money think again. Most likely it isn't such a good idea. And just in case it is a good idea there is a good chance some influential Thais will tell you now it's time to sell your business to them - to conditions you won't like.

 

Summary: Stay under the radar and enjoy your life.

[neeray]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

12. Don't think you are smarter than everybody else because you have a longer and better formal education.

13. Even if you are smarter that doesn't mean you "win" against a Thai who lived here all his life and knows how things really work (independent of written laws and regulations)

14. If you think you have a great business idea and you will soon make a lot of money think again. Most likely it isn't such a good idea. And just in case it is a good idea there is a good chance some influential Thais will tell you now it's time to sell your business to them - to conditions you won't like.

 

Summary: Stay under the radar and enjoy your life.

#14 and Summary. Good advice.

[HuskerDo]

5 hours ago, AlexRich said:

I’m not with you on the “wai” comment. I think foreigners look a bit stupid doing that, it is not their culture and every Thai understands that. Thais don’t change their culture when they are overseas, and no reasonable person would expect them too. However long you live in Thailand you are not and never will be Thai. 

 

 

 

I disagree. I've seen many many Chinese and Japanese business people come to my company in the US and bow politely when being introduced to someone for the first time. I'm sure Thais would be the same way.

 

Wai might not be in a foreigner's "culture" realm but "when in Rome do as the Romans" would apply I'd think.

[sirineou]

Let a smile be your umbrella, and don't take things personally. People have being living this way for hundreds of years, it is their country, their culture , it works for them.

Like them for who they are, and they will like you for who you are. 

If you don't like them  move on now!!. don't try to fake it , it will not work, eventually they will know.  Better to move on now than to fail later when you have less options.

 

[Elad]

If you meet a lady DO NOT go to the village, because they'll take the shirt off your back. 

[HuskerDo]

2 minutes ago, Elad said:

If you meet a lady DO NOT go to the village, because they'll take the shirt off your back. 

And if you meet a ladyboy DEFINITELY don't go to the village as they'll take even more off and it won't be from your back. :-) 

[madmen]

No Wai! It's idiotic when I see farang greeting hookers that way [emoji16]! and why the language? I live on lower Sukhumvit and occasionally visit Pattaya, phuket and chiang mai and never once in ten years had failed communication

However if your poor and forced to live in nahkon nowhere then you better bloody well learn the language but better to not be poor IMO.

[rumak]

it does look idiotic to see SOME farangs waiing hookers.  Learn how and when to wai ( surely not that difficult for all the geniuses that say don't wai )

2. Don't make generalizations based on what to do or not do based on hookers

3. Stay away from farangs that can not speak Thai.  They will tell you all about why they are so superior, but just cannot be bothered to learn some stupid language (of the country that they live in ! )

4. If you live in nakhon nowhere,  keep enjoying your life .  I know it is horrible (sarcasm...) to not be able to live a civilized life with people of the class the bashers are accustomed to .  

 

[GinBoy2]

There are multiple failure scenarios;

 

There is the the crash n burn failure....generally involving some kinda working gal; 'She stole all my money"

Then there is the Thailand fatigue syndrome, where you just get tired of the bright shiny things.

The isolation failure, stuck in the middle of nowhere, often with no language skills

And general boredom, which afflicts more than a few

 

Not forgetting...ran outta cash!

[OneMoreFarang]

3 hours ago, madmen said:

No Wai! It's idiotic when I see farang greeting hookers that way ! and why the language? I live on lower Sukhumvit and occasionally visit Pattaya, phuket and chiang mai and never once in ten years had failed communication

How about a wai if you meet a group of people? How about a wai if you meet i.e. the father of a girl or a village head? I think there are many occasions where it makes sense to wai.

And I don't believe that you never had a failed conversation. If people say "yes, yes" all the time or laugh about your jokes doesn't mean they understood everything.

[OneMoreFarang]

18 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

There is the the crash n burn failure....generally involving some kinda working gal; 'She stole all my money"

And let's not forget the "my one if different" scenario.

That includes all the women which people meet online and who are no hookers. If she doesn't ask you for money after the first night doesn't mean it was for free.

[cornishcarlos]

#15 Don't make a point of telling people you have lived here xx years, you can still learn a thing or 3 ????

[GinBoy2]

4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And let's not forget the "my one if different" scenario.

That includes all the women which people meet online and who are no hookers. If she doesn't ask you for money after the first night doesn't mean it was for free.

LOL, I forgot about the 'she was never a hooker one'

[sanemax]

4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And let's not forget the "my one if different" scenario.

That includes all the women which people meet online and who are no hookers. If she doesn't ask you for money after the first night doesn't mean it was for free.

Sunday morning , not even 7 AM .

Its a bit early to be talking about sex and prostitution .

 

[CharlieH]

I rarely "wai' anywhere BUT thats because the situation doesnt warrant it. My general rule of thunb is to think of it like "shaking hands" which you wouldnt do with a server (as example), but you would if introduced to an Official etc.

A sign of polite respect in the right circumstance, a total prat if used wrong ! 

If unsure dont do it at all just smile!.

[OneMoreFarang]

13 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

I rarely "wai' anywhere BUT thats because the situation doesnt warrant it. My general rule of thunb is to think of it like "shaking hands" which you wouldnt do with a server (as example), but you would if introduced to an Official etc.

A sign of polite respect in the right circumstance, a total prat if used wrong ! 

If unsure dont do it at all just smile!.

Your right.

There is another way to learn if and when to wai: If your tirac doesn't wai the waiter (insert lot of other people) then you don't have to do it and you shouldn't do it.

[OneMoreFarang]

16 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Sunday morning , not even 7 AM .

Its a bit early to be talking about sex and prostitution.

This thread is about advise.

I guess that works better at 7am or whatever time people wake up and read this compared to trying to tell a guy at 10pm that he misunderstood the situation. ????

Time for breakfast

Carpe diem

[grollies]

1 hour ago, sanemax said:

Sunday morning , not even 7 AM .

Its a bit early to be talking about sex and prostitution .

 

Some of the TVF stud muffins will be doing up their pants around now and heading off for a well-earned brekky.

[HuskerDo]

4 minutes ago, grollies said:

Some of the TVF stud muffins will be doing up their pants around now and heading off for a well-earned brekky.

Oh crap! Thanks, I forgot to zip up. :-)

[grollies]

1 hour ago, CharlieH said:

I rarely "wai' anywhere BUT thats because the situation doesnt warrant it. My general rule of thunb is to think of it like "shaking hands" which you wouldnt do with a server (as example), but you would if introduced to an Official etc.

A sign of polite respect in the right circumstance, a total prat if used wrong ! 

If unsure dont do it at all just smile!.

With the exception of shop staff and kids I wai most people, family, friends.

 

Another situation example, our feed delivery guys hand carry 15 tonnes of sack feed every few days. After, I always give them a cold Sponser. They will wai in thanks and I don't return it but do smile and 'mai pen rai'.

 

Different sitiations require differing responses I suppose.

 

But, if you receive a wai, IMHO, it would be rude and/or arrogent not to wai back normally.

[roo860]

I rarely "wai' anywhere BUT thats because the situation doesnt warrant it. My general rule of thunb is to think of it like "shaking hands" which you wouldnt do with a server (as example), but you would if introduced to an Official etc.
A sign of polite respect in the right circumstance, a total prat if used wrong ! 
If unsure dont do it at all just smile!.

To be honest with you I've always used a bow of the head, I've been dealing with Thai suppliers for about 21yrs now, same when I met my future mother in law, and at immigration, always accompanied with a smile.

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