Wife lives like in 19th Century Thailand

[Pravda]

So, I have what is considered a good educated wife, with a nice job with a very decent salary from international company.

 

She owns a house and has significant savings.

 

Yet..... (unless it's for work) she dresses like a gypsy, still eats her 50 baht street food and eats on the floor.

 

I don't get it.

 

 

[petermik]

Too much thinking clouds the brain....if she,s happy to do it leave her be....my guess is she could have issues about the way you live your life....think about it

[Pilotman]

My Thai wife is same in terms of education and upbringing.  She spent 20 years with me in our very nice house in southern UK, she is also a British Citizen.  At the time, I had a very good position, which meant that we entertained a great deal,  No problem there at all, but when she had her friends around, they would spread out their food on mats on the floor.  All of them brought a few dishes with them of unspeakable fish, veggies, spices and all manner of inedible (to me) food and sit around chatting for hours. I bet if you asked her, she would say that they were the happiest times she had in the UK. I found it endearing and still do, even though she now does it here in her own Thai home.   

[RickBradford]

Perhaps she doesn't want to be seen as a "cow that has forgotten its hooves", as the Thai expression has it -- someone who has forgotten their origins and gone all up-market and brand-name-y.

[Nyezhov]

19 minutes ago, Pravda said:

Yet..... (unless it's for work) she dresses like a gypsy, still eats her 50 baht street food and eats on the floor.

 

I don't get it.

 

so do i

[PatOngo]

1 minute ago, RickBradford said:

Perhaps she doesn't want to be seen as a "cow that has forgotten its hooves", as the Thai expression has it -- someone who has forgotten their origins and gone all up-market and brand-name-y.

That's a great expression "Wua lerm teen" comes in very handy at times.

[VocalNeal]

This thread is important for anyone considering building a house upcountry. When MIL and family come around they will all sit on the floor to eat. SO you don't need the expense of building a fancy dining room or even a fancy indoor kitchen. Unless the kitchen is large enough for them all to sit on the floor.

 

Wife wearing "gardening" clothes? If she is comfortable......

Edited February 8, 2019 by VocalNeal

[fruitman]

One day i had to visit a thai familymember in an expensive private hospital in BKK. 

 

We came in the room, there were 10 other familymembers all around the bed on the floor, food all over the floor, kids sleeping under the patients bed all day and eating with bare hands...uncles snoring, aunte's ordering kids to go out and buy more streetfood like stinky beans and so.

 

I was lucky, got the chair...i sat down, looked at the totally moulded black airconditioner which smelled bad and was out of order, i saw maggots crawling on the floor near my slippers (were from the flowers they said)...

 

Needless to say i refused the food offered to me.

 

They are not poor but choose to live like this.

 

 

[Dmaxdan]

Just be thankful you've married a Thai lady who is happy to be herself and is not trying to be something she not. The projection of wealth doesn't make anyone a better person. If you want respect then you need be part of the crowd, not stand out from it. 

 

 

[grollies]

1 hour ago, Pravda said:

So, I have what is considered a good educated wife, with a nice job with a very decent salary from international company.

 

She owns a house and has significant savings.

 

Yet..... (unless it's for work) she dresses like a gypsy, still eats her 50 baht street food and eats on the floor.

 

I don't get it.

What would you have her do?

 

@Pilotman +1, spookily familiar.

[Pilotman]

33 minutes ago, grollies said:

What would you have her do?

 

@Pilotman +1, spookily familiar.

Not really.  My wife never worked for an international company, doesn't own a home or have significant savings in her own name, its all joint and she dresses well.  So not really spookily similar at all. However, culture is the same. 

[BobbyL]

That is what generally happens in countries with very little diversity and an ingrained cultural.

 

My wife is as western as they come for a Thai woman, studied and lived abroad etc and has many western friends in Bangkok. Yet as soon as she goes to her family's place here she dresses awfully, acts differently and is completely back into that way of sitting on the floor whilst eating and generally talking about nothing but food. 

[grollies]

1 hour ago, Pilotman said:

Not really.  My wife never worked for an international company, doesn't own a home or have significant savings in her own name, its all joint and she dresses well.  So not really spookily similar at all. However, culture is the same. 

Sorry, I should have clarified.

 

First line was to the OP, second line was agreeing with your comment.

[balo]

3 hours ago, Pravda said:

Yet..... (unless it's for work) she dresses like a gypsy, still eats her 50 baht street food and eats on the floor.

 

I don't get it.

It's because she is a good Buddhist . It's all about traditions , the habits they learned from their parents will be repeated , even in a farang home.  If she feels good about it. 

 

 

[pgrahmm]

Think about it.....They grew up sitting in the floor in school & at home....They go to the temple, they sit in the floor for the service then eat clustered around in groups sitting on the floor.....They were raised that way.....

My wife is uni educated, worked in management for a large international corporation for 17 years.....We travel to the states a few months a year & never a miss cue.....

We have a nice formal dining room that has a nice teak table we bought, seats 12 = never used.....

On weekends, we (4) usually eat a breakfast together at the kitchen table - but - every night they have dinner in front of the TV watching some inane Thai program.....

There are 4 easy chairs & a coffee table in that room; but they move the coffee table out of the way, plop down on the floor in the middle of the easy chairs with their food & dishes just as happy as can be.....

 

[fruitman]

6 minutes ago, pgrahmm said:

Think about it.....They grew up sitting in the floor in school & at home....They go to the temple, they sit in the floor for the service then eat clustered around in groups sitting on the floor.....They were raised that way.....

My wife is uni educated, worked in management for a large international corporation for 17 years.....We travel to the states a few months a year & never a miss cue.....

We have a nice formal dining room that has a nice teak table we bought, seats 12 = never used.....

On weekends, we (4) usually eat a breakfast together at the kitchen table - but - every night they have dinner in front of the TV watching some inane Thai program.....

There are 4 easy chairs & a coffee table in that room; but they move the coffee table out of the way, plop down on the floor in the middle of the easy chairs with their food & dishes just as happy as can be.....

 

I went to the BKK furniture fair last month to buy a new recliner....tested a lot of them but almost ALL are western sized so made for long legs...i bet the Thai can't even put their feet on the ground when sitting on a sofa or recliner from there. (just like they can't with most motorcycles).

And all those recliners/sofa's sold there were made by thai companies in thailand.

 

Hence they prefer to sit on the floor me thinks.

[Pilotman]

1 hour ago, pgrahmm said:

Think about it.....They grew up sitting in the floor in school & at home....They go to the temple, they sit in the floor for the service then eat clustered around in groups sitting on the floor.....They were raised that way.....

My wife is uni educated, worked in management for a large international corporation for 17 years.....We travel to the states a few months a year & never a miss cue.....

We have a nice formal dining room that has a nice teak table we bought, seats 12 = never used.....

On weekends, we (4) usually eat a breakfast together at the kitchen table - but - every night they have dinner in front of the TV watching some inane Thai program.....

There are 4 easy chairs & a coffee table in that room; but they move the coffee table out of the way, plop down on the floor in the middle of the easy chairs with their food & dishes just as happy as can be.....

 

well at least even into old age, they can sit crossed legged on the floor and kneel at the Temple, I can't do either anymore, in fact, I'm not sure that I ever could. They can also make a meal out of a bunch of twigs, a few passing beasties. an odd chicken foot or two and 400 chillies.  Respect.     

[pgrahmm]

57 minutes ago, fruitman said:

I went to the BKK furniture fair last month to buy a new recliner....tested a lot of them but almost ALL are western sized so made for long legs...i bet the Thai can't even put their feet on the ground when sitting on a sofa or recliner from there. (just like they can't with most motorcycles).

And all those recliners/sofa's sold there were made by thai companies in thailand.

 

Hence they prefer to sit on the floor me thinks.

I'd also heard that when chairs first were "introduced" here that they were not wide enough to allow the Thais to sit cross legged - which made them feel uncomfortable = so - back to the floor.....

If you notice, most chairs with arms here are built wide so that people can sit cross legged....

 

[Emdog]

You guys who complain about cultural differences & assumption Western = better need to open you minds. Cultures are different, all have plus and minuses. Strongly suggest reading the writings of Edward T Hall "Beyond Culture" and other books. Just because you grew up differently doesn't make it better, full stop.

I have thought we who grew up with chairs should sue someone about that. We are physically incapable of sitting on floor for extended periods, inflexible due to requiring crutch of chairs etc. Probably safe to say we evolved over millennia to sit on ground and share meals. 

[Pilotman]

5 minutes ago, Emdog said:

You guys who complain about cultural differences & assumption Western = better need to open you minds. Cultures are different, all have plus and minuses. Strongly suggest reading the writings of Edward T Hall "Beyond Culture" and other books. Just because you grew up differently doesn't make it better, full stop.

I have thought we who grew up with chairs should sue someone about that. We are physically incapable of sitting on floor for extended periods, inflexible due to requiring crutch of chairs etc. Probably safe to say we evolved over millennia to sit on ground and share meals. 

Not sure that many of us are 'complaining', celebrating the differences more like. 

[pgrahmm]

14 minutes ago, Emdog said:

You guys who complain about cultural differences & assumption Western = better need to open you minds. Cultures are different, all have plus and minuses. Strongly suggest reading the writings of Edward T Hall "Beyond Culture" and other books. Just because you grew up differently doesn't make it better, full stop.

I have thought we who grew up with chairs should sue someone about that. We are physically incapable of sitting on floor for extended periods, inflexible due to requiring crutch of chairs etc. Probably safe to say we evolved over millennia to sit on ground and share meals. 

Don't really see anyone on here saying western = better or complaining....Have to give them props for keeping on keeping on......

And yes - they are definitely more flexible & stay that way....

Interesting aside I had a hip replacement in 2017.....

I asked the Dr why no Thai patients? He replied they never need them.....Whether it's size, diet, flexibily through repetition, or inherited traits - I don't know.....

Betting its a combination of that + chairs......

I was really flexible into my 60's through sports but not even close to that now....

Edited February 8, 2019 by pgrahmm

[Bluespunk]

5 hours ago, Pravda said:

So, I have what is considered a good educated wife, with a nice job with a very decent salary from international company.

 

She owns a house and has significant savings.

 

Yet..... (unless it's for work) she dresses like a gypsy, still eats her 50 baht street food and eats on the floor.

 

I don't get it.

Work and private lives do not have to be the same.

 

The public face is not the same as the private one.

 

I know I sure as hell don't act or dress the same at work as I do at home.

[legend49]

Well if she lives in the 19th century that is a positive.

 

You wont be buying her a new Iphone every 6 months and a new car every year!!

[SiSePuede419]

eats on the floor

 

Heat rises.  Sitting on the floor is cooler than sitting higher up.

 

Thai Custom.

 

Don't you come from a country that has unique customs?  Lederhosen? Vegemite sandwiches?  Etc, etc, etc

[RJRS1301]

I congratulate her for holding her own cultural values in her country.

Food family and sharing it is so important to the Thai people

It is we poor stitched up westerners who are poor in culture.

 

 

[sanemax]

1 hour ago, pgrahmm said:

Interesting aside I had a hip replacement in 2017.....

I asked the Dr why no Thai patients? He replied they never need them.....Whether it's size, diet, flexibily through repetition, or inherited traits - I don't know.....

Betting its a combination of that + chairs......

I was really flexible into my 60's through sports but not even close to that now....

Due to their lack of walking , their hips are still in a brand new condition ?

[jgarbo]

On 2/6/2019 at 8:53 AM, vogie said:

I believe if you have £16,000 of savings you cannot get help, except for a free TV licence of course.

If you only have a state pension you may be allowed benefits. AFAIK

 

6 hours ago, Nyezhov said:

so do i

3 hours ago, balo said:

It's because she is a good Buddhist . It's all about traditions , the habits they learned from their parents will be repeated , even in a farang home.  If she feels good about it. 

 

 

She's obviously "Thai". Eating on the floor is an old Thai custom, while eating at table,  

โต๊ะ,  is Chinese, which they introduced during the Ayutthaya period. Watch the "King & I" if  you can, royalty ate on the floor. Problem solved. Your wife is a good person.

[1FinickyOne]

Sounds like my family... happy days indeed... you are lucky, enjoy being in another culture... 

[elgenon]

Just wondering- does she expect expensive gifts and gold and diamonds? Does she contribute to joint finances and purchases?

Do you make a similar amount of money? have significant savings? contribute to joint finances and purchases?

[jak2002003]

4 hours ago, BobbyL said:

That is what generally happens in countries with very little diversity and an ingrained cultural.

 

My wife is as western as they come for a Thai woman, studied and lived abroad etc and has many western friends in Bangkok. Yet as soon as she goes to her family's place here she dresses awfully, acts differently and is completely back into that way of sitting on the floor whilst eating and generally talking about nothing but food. 

What is all this snobbery about sitting on the floor to eat?  Whats wrong with sitting on the floor and sharing Thai food with each other?

 

Its their culture (and the culture of many countries around the world)  Perhaps they thing you sitting at a table with your friends is too formal and not friendly or fun?

 

I now prefer to sit on the floor to eat at my house.  Of course if farangs come around or my parents we sit at the table for a meal (mostly because my parents are old and would find it hard to get up and down off the floor, and most farnags are not used to it and so find it uncomfortable.

 

I also don't see anything wrong with dressing comfortable at home to relax.  I really don't want to be wearing designer gear and a suit when I am at home relaxing or doing work on the garden / house.