Paying Thai girlfriend a "salary"

[FarangOnTour]

Hi, 

 

I have just been to Thailand for two months and I am absolutely hooked on the place (I am sure this is not uncommon). I can see myself living there full-time somewhere down the road (I am only 31 at the minute, and I have a few things to do in my own country before making such a move)

 

I met some Thai ladies while I was staying there and was interested to find out as much as I could about their perspective on Farang/Thai relationships.

 

One thing that kept coming up was the concept that the Farang must pay what is effectively a salary to his Thai girlfriend for the duration of the relationship.

 

Excuse me if I sound like a "cheap Charlie" but this does not seem 100% correct to me. Is this the case across the board, by which I mean; do all Farangs pay their Thai girlfriend/wife?

 

If this is the case how does one go about assessing the appropriate amount to give to a partner? Under what parameters are such assessments made?

 

Do Thai men pay for Thai partners the same way Farangs do?

 

For clarity, I couldn't help but run some maths in my head after a lovely girl I met (from Issan) told me that if she wanted me to take care of her it would cost 50'000bhat per month (I could barely contain the laughter as it would effectively be half my monthly wage after tax).

 

I asked her what the average daily wage was in Issan, she said 300bhat. 

I multiplied this by 7 (assuming the worker works every day) = 2100bhat

Then multiplied by 4 to the get average monthly wage for the average Issan worker = 8400bhat (i.e. a far cry from 50'000bhat)

 

I then did another approximation assuming the worker was a pretty female and left Issan to work in e.g. Patong, Phuket.

Assuming she commands a good fee of 3000bhat per customer and meets 4 customers per week her weekly income is 12000bhat

4 weeks per months, leaves her with a monthly average of 48000bhat

 

Assuming she meets an average of 16 customers per month and yields approx 50'000bhat she is looking for a Farang to supplement her current income when she gives up working upon entering a relationship.

 

I find this hard to accept on a number of fronts, namely;

As the years progress she will become less of an attractive commodity to sex tourists and therefore her fee will naturally have to reduce from 3000bhat per customer in order to attract customers, therefore does the amount she expects from Farang boyfriend also depreciate proportionally?

Also, assuming Farang marries her and buys house for them to live in etc... and she does not contribute and does not pay rent then how can he still be expected to pay a non-reduced salary to her?

Also, this business of also paying some bills towards her family, is this in any way negotiable?

 

Now, I will admit, the information I am using to make the aforementioned assumptions is based on a very small number of samples but it is consistent across all samples. 

 

Just looking for thoughts from you guys, if the above estimations/assertions it almost seems cheaper to stay living in Farang land and get a Farang wife?

I will admit much of the attraction for living in Thailand for me (besides the sun, beautiful women and community based culture) is a minimised cost of living, but this does not seem possible if I have to pay money hand-over-fist to the woman who allegedly loves me.

 

 

 

 

[grollies]

Christ on a bike, not again?

[baansgr]

Everyone pays their Mrs a salary here, even those that swear blind they dont as they are Bangkok Chinese. Its the way of Thailand, hence why Im single. 50k is way too steep

[grollies]

20 minutes ago, FarangOnTour said:

I find this hard to accept on a number of fronts, namely;

As the years progress she will become less of an attractive commodity to sex tourists and therefore her fee will naturally have to reduce from 3000bhat per customer in order to attract customers, therefore does the amount she expects from Farang boyfriend also depreciate proportionally?

I think you should marry her, pay her initially what she is asking and then reduce payments on an annual basis according to her figure/looks.

 

You could plop the info into an excel spreadsheet and produce a graphical representation of attractiveness v value for money. 

 

In 10 years time you'd have some great info available for future members of TVF. You'd become a famous guru for all new farangs hoping for the same.

[FarangOnTour]

Sorry Grollies I am new here

Edited April 4, 2019 by blackcab
Font size reduced

[FarangOnTour]

????????????????

[NCC1701A]

25 minutes ago, FarangOnTour said:

but this does not seem possible if I have to pay money hand-over-fist to the woman who allegedly loves me.

set your budget (which should be zero) and tell her that is it. if she does not like it she will be instantly replaced. 

[grollies]

1 hour ago, FarangOnTour said:

 

Sorry grollies I am new here

ok, good luck, your intuition is correct, pay her f-all.

[FarangOnTour]

3 minutes ago, NCC1701A said:

set your budget (which should be zero) and tell her that is it. if she does not like it she will be instantly replaced. 

Ha, ha, pretty hardcore, but thanks ???? 

[FarangOnTour]

2 minutes ago, grollies said:

ok, good luck, your intuition is correct, pay her f-all.

Thank you. Yea, I won't be parting with money anytime soon. Was just asking as I am interested to know what Farangs think about this in general. Although judging by some of the replies I should have checked for similar threads before creating this one.

 

*Hangs head in shame ????

[OneMoreFarang]

You should pay her at least 50k per month and additionally all the daily expenses like food, make-up, new clothes, disco, etc.

If you are not willing to pay the bare minimum then you are obviously not the guy for Thailand.

[wgdanson]

22 minutes ago, FarangOnTour said:

Sorry Grollies I am new here

You certainly are...it is Baht not Bhat!     LOL

[Lamkyong]

at that rate calculation she sounds shagged out even before you met her   give her a wide berth for now 

[petermik]

7 hours ago, wgdanson said:

You certainly are...it is Baht not Bhat!     LOL

he,ll soon find out there,s no honey without money which ever spelling he uses

[petermik]

7 hours ago, Lamkyong said:

at that rate calculation she sounds shagged out even before you met her   give her a wide berth for now 

now now that,s naughty and uncalled for......for a small "donation" and a couple of stitches all can be as new once more  

[Puchaiyank]

There are plenty of girls have education and decent salaries, independent, sexy, speak passable English and would like a foreigner for a boyfriend...Bangkok is the best place to start your search...

 

If you are interested in a girl from a poor family, uneducated, children, and works in the flesh trade, then be prepared to pay for their services...monthly salary is negotiable...consider what such a constant companion is worth to you...

 

Learn the culture before making your move... 

[Kenny202]

Mate. I assume the girls you are meeting are from bars or maybe internet dating sites. The paying your girl a wage thing is not Thai culture, it is bargirl culture. What she is effectively telling you is she will leave the bar if you pay her too. DO not be under any illusions they are making anything like 50k per month. Your average slapper would earn about 20k at very best. They don't work every single night and there wouldn't be too many pulling 3000 a punter. There is a week off for period. On the odd occasion they do make a few extra bucks they will stay away from work until its all gone. Its easy come easy go and she will treat your money the same. Do not fall for the "not have choice" crap and need take care family BS. They normally send around 3k per month back to take care of the kid or kids she will have to several different Thai men. These girls are working in the bars because they are lazy and uneducated. Many of us have been down this path. They are loveable and fun and all of that but they are hookers and will always be hookers. You've heard you can take the girl out of the bar but can not take the bar out of the girl? Don't think you are special because you are a young guy either. She would prefer an older guy with a fatter wallet, or preferably many. She wont want you to live with her either. She will be quite happy for you to stay in Australia earning the bucks and sending to her. You try and live with a bar girl she will be constantly assessing if she was better off in the bar or not. And in the end the bar will win out. They don't want to live in fancy farang houses or eat farang food. They are quite happy with the lifestyle they have.

 

I've lived here now around 7 years and the best advice I have heard is sort out where you want to live, then find the girl. I live up country Isaan. They will be queuing up for you and I mean stunners, decent girls with a job, education. Good families. They may try it on for money to if you let them but you have to follow your best judgement and be firm but fair. Once you have been here for a while you will come to realise there are millions more fish in the sea. The Thai guys give them nothing, just a lot of promises and a back hander when required. When the girl becomes too needy they simply find another. I don't condone any of this but strangely they seem to respect this. They certainly don't respect any weakness.

 

Of course if you find the right girl treat her with kindness and generosity but always keep control of the purse strings. Most I have known have no regard for future, family budgets etc. I would strongly advise not to buy any property here as it will be in your partners name. In any case it doesn't make financial sense. Not only will it give your wife leverage, you will never own it, more than likely never be able to resell it should you need to and in any case rent here is too cheap. Put the lease in your name too. Always stay in the drivers seat and in control. Any vehicles while it may be a little extra trouble, put them in your name. Never invest in anything in Thailand you can not afford to walk away from.

 

Lastly mate forget about about a bargirl. Most are uneducated and broken in some way, usually from abandonment and abuse as a child. Like I said lived here a while now and I've never heard of a happy ending although there would be some. The running gag here is "This one is different". In my experience they're pretty much all cast from the same mould. Lazy, erratic....and varying degrees of jealous and selfish violent tantrums and outbursts.  

Edited April 4, 2019 by Kenny202

[ratcatcher]

1 hour ago, grollies said:

Christ on a bike, not again?

Yes, there's thousands out there just like him. Be kind.

[grollies]

35 minutes ago, petermik said:

now now that,s naughty and uncalled for......for a small "donation" and a couple of stitches all can be as new once more  

Had a scotsman working with me once. his gf was due to give birth. we told him he could request the midwife throw a few stitches in after the event, just to make her 'tight' again...two days before her due date I had to fess-up and tell him not ask the midwife to do this. he was really up for it though.

[1FinickyOne]

At those price levels, you are not a boyfriend but a customer.... if you want something more real, get out of the areas where the industry flourishes and meet some other types... good luck. 

 

Though many here will tell you that being a customer is cheaper.

[Liverpudlian]

Dont forget the thai guys in the shadows that she can joke and interact with as you can NEVER do.

[Chivas]

Make no mistake OP seeing you're getting mullered on the responses there will be plenty paying for reasons various in the 20-25k band no matter how many subsequently whinge otherwise

[StreetCowboy]

That’s 600K a year; no way you should be getting involved in that without a QS; invite tenders in one of the reputable newspapers and make sure you have a clear scope of work, terms of reference, and better to link payments to milestones or deliverables.  Your QS will advise you. Think about QA and QC as well

[grollies]

46 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

Mate. I assume the girls you are meeting are from bars or maybe internet dating sites. The paying your girl a wage thing is not Thai culture, it is bargirl culture. What she is effectively telling you is she will leave the bar if you pay her too. DO not be under any illusions they are making anything like 50k per month. Your average slapper would earn about 20k at very best. They don't work every single night and there wouldn't be too many pulling 3000 a punter. There is a week off for period. On the odd occasion they do make a few extra bucks they will stay away from work until its all gone. Its easy come easy go and she will treat your money the same. Do not fall for the "not have choice" crap and need take care family BS. They normally send around 3k per month back to take care of the kid or kids she will have to several different Thai men. These girls are working in the bars because they are lazy and uneducated. Many of us have been down this path. They are loveable and fun and all of that but they are hookers and will always be hookers. You've heard you can take the girl out of the bar but can not take the bar out of the girl? Don't think you are special because you are a young guy either. She would prefer an older guy with a fatter wallet, or preferably many. She wont want you to live with her either. She will be quite happy for you to stay in Australia earning the bucks and sending to her. You try and live with a bar girl she will be constantly assessing if she was better off in the bar or not. And in the end the bar will win out. They don't want to live in fancy farang houses or eat farang food. They are quite happy with the lifestyle they have.

 

I've lived here now around 7 years and the best advice I have heard is sort out where you want to live, then find the girl. I live up country Isaan. They will be queuing up for you and I mean stunners, decent girls with a job, education. Good families. They may try it on for money to if you let them but you have to follow your best judgement and be firm but fair. Once you have been here for a while you will come to realise there are millions more fish in the sea. The Thai guys give them nothing, just a lot of promises and a back hander when required. When the girl becomes too needy they simply find another. I don't condone any of this but strangely they seem to respect this. They certainly don't respect any weakness.

 

Of course if you find the right girl treat her with kindness and generosity but always keep control of the purse strings. Most I have known have no regard for future, family budgets etc. I would strongly advise not to buy any property here as it will be in your partners name. In any case it doesn't make financial sense. Not only will it give your wife leverage, you will never own it, more than likely never be able to resell it should you need to and in any case rent here is too cheap. Put the lease in your name too. Always stay in the drivers seat and in control. Any vehicles while it may be a little extra trouble, put them in your name. Never invest in anything in Thailand you can not afford to walk away from.

 

Lastly mate forget about about a bargirl. Most are uneducated and broken in some way, usually from abandonment and abuse as a child. Like I said lived here a while now and I've never heard of a happy ending although there would be some. The running gag here is "This one is different". In my experience they're pretty much all cast from the same mould. Lazy, erratic....and varying degrees of jealous and selfish violent tantrums and outbursts.  

Apart from that, Thailand's not too bad.

[Justgrazing]

2 hours ago, FarangOnTour said:

Assuming she commands a good fee of 3000bhat per customer and meets 4 customers per week her weekly income is 12000bhat

4 a week .! Some Soi/6 chicks do that many in an evening .. 

Seriously you're getting ripped mate .. A lot of 'em here will take the chance of batting a stupidly high figure for their monthly " salary " at you .. If you yield to it then she's Quid's in .. If you baulk at it they'll cite " you no take care me " and just carry on getting banged by all an' sundry .. Ditch her if you value yo' bank balance .. and sanity .. 

[Fex Bluse]

1 hour ago, baansgr said:

Everyone pays their Mrs a salary here, even those that swear blind they dont as they are Bangkok Chinese. Its the way of Thailand, hence why Im single. 50k is way too steep

50K is about 50 BJs from 50 different girls. That's like 1.5 BJs/day. 

 

She'd need to be VERY useful to be a better value. Cook, clean, sing, dance, ect. 

[Bangel72]

Always amusing.

In relationships all across the world where one partner has more money and potential earnings than the other its fairly normal to share some of that income.

If they cook, clean and often put your 'other' needs first that's got to be worth something, if they are not working, paying for some courses to improve their chances in the future may be a better option for both parties than cash, getting them working with their own income is optimal.

If you throw kids into the mix and they are also pretty much a full time nanny on top of everything else, you could sit down and work out the cost of a nanny and their own loss of working on top of that.

None of this sounds like customer to me but if you are not helping them plan for their own future its going to be a harsh reality when you step out of the picture and you would be doing more harm than good being in that relationship, unless you are 50/50 split sort of guy.

Alternatively be a customer, its a business arrangement and here its often a buyers market so choose wisely and within your budget, but do not kid yourself or her that its anything else or you are already down that fools path that will leave you with a harsh lesson and potentially penniless only to make the same mistake again if you get back into some dosh. If you lie to yourself now that its not a business relationship you will lie to yourself the next time again and again 'oh this one's different' hohoho. 

In your case, the 50k number makes you a dead cert for the customer category, no doubts about it.
 

Edited April 4, 2019 by Bangel72
last sentence

[Snow Leopard]

1 hour ago, Puchaiyank said:

There are plenty of girls have education and decent salaries, independent, sexy, speak passable English and would like a foreigner for a boyfriend...Bangkok is the best place to start your search...

 

If you are interested in a girl from a poor family, uneducated, children, and works in the flesh trade, then be prepared to pay for their services...monthly salary is negotiable...consider what such a constant companion is worth to you...

 

Learn the culture before making your move... 

Well said. 

[chenierkmer]

As my Daddy used to say run away son 50,000 Baht a month are you kidding me .


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

[jmd8800]

1 hour ago, Puchaiyank said:

There are plenty of girls have education and decent salaries, independent, sexy, speak passable English and would like a foreigner for a boyfriend...Bangkok is the best place to start your search...

 

If you are interested in a girl from a poor family, uneducated, children, and works in the flesh trade, then be prepared to pay for their services...monthly salary is negotiable...consider what such a constant companion is worth to you...

 

Learn the culture before making your move... 

Good response. The key is: what your relationship is based on.

 

I prefer to spend my time with women who have a life and career. Sure we can share things and she probably shares a bit less than I but still.... a girl with a decent salary and job is the ticket. However, this girl won't have a lot of time after work or spending time with the family. You should also have a life and interests to offer her. Sitting around all day probably won't work. In short... it is just like home.

 

If she is with you 24/7 then she is effectively working for you and you'll pay her a salary.

 

Bangkok is the place to start as the smarter more attractive girls will head to the big city where there is greater opportunity in all aspects of life. That is universal.