At 70 years old I’m looking for the antidote – Do you have it?

[soalbundy]

Just now, albertik said:

"It's  all just a dream

Life passing by on the screen"      Moody Blues

and they got that from the ancient Hindu spiritual masters of India. You are the light that allows the shadows of the model cut outs to move on the screen, but you aren't moving the cut outs it just happens and you allow it to be.

[GarryP]

26 minutes ago, Baht Simpson said:

Gardening. It helps your mental health. The endless sight of things dying and being born makes you realize that life is an endless cycle not a race for fulfillment. 

 

When I had a personal tragedy a few years ago I lost my garden and became depressed. Now I'm back into it in a simpler way, mostly houseplants, and have bucked up considerably. At our age gardening is the new sex. 

My dad, back in the UK, is in the garden come rain or shine. His life revolves around the garden. It is his pride and joy. It also keeps him very fit for his age (88). I walk quite fast, but I just about need to trot to keep up with him. 

 

Retirement is what scares me the most at the moment, rather than death. I am only 3.5 years away from retirement and am worried about how to keep myself occupied. Gardening, is not really my thing and I can only do so much cycling and fishing.

[faraday]

3 minutes ago, soalbundy said:

and they got that from the ancient Hindu spiritual masters of India. You are the light that allows the shadows of the model cut outs to move on the screen, but you aren't moving the cut outs it just happens and you allow it to be.

Do you have a link, or more on this please?

[cmarshall]

Who can keep from being interested in this topic?  I'm 70 also.  In good health, financially secure, have a loving wife on whom I know I can depend, exercise daily, watch the weight, and pursue hobbies, chief of which is learning Thai, which offers the benefit that there is always more to learn.  

 

I think the OP is doing pretty well, all things considered and he doesn't sound clinically depressed to me.  Confronting death is, among other things, to put oneself in touch with reality which is always preferable to fantasy.

 

Here's what works for me:

 

1.  pursue an activity that affords the opportunity for real progress, something hard.  Learning a language qualifies, but not doing crossword puzzles.  Seeing the success of a project that takes time and effort still gives satisfaction.

 

2.  Pay attention to the difference between what you can control and what you can't.  We can't control the past, for instance, so we should forgive ourselves our failings and all those missed opportunities.  Nor can we control our death although we should do what we can to maintain physical and mental health.  Although all of this sounds too obvious to merit comment, but when we do realize concretely what we can't control it can bring a feeling of relief.  It does to me at any rate.

 

3.  Try to do as much as possible for other people, even little things.  They, particularly the young ones, will go on after us and so we can feel a connection to the future.  Although it will inevitably be a future without us at some point, none of us regrets the time before our birth when the world was similarly deprived of our presence.  If you can contribute a little money to someone else, do that.  Takes the emphasis off ourselves.

 

4.  Keep a journal.  Your thoughts are valuable and important.

 

When we were young these things took care of themselves for the most part.  Now we have to apply what we know with some of the discipline we have picked up along the way to manage the current phase.  

 

Edited June 26, 2019 by cmarshall

[rumak]

47 minutes ago, Whip Me Granny said:

Ive seen the word Antidepressant used . I was wondering if there's some thing I could take that would have the same calming effect , some thing to make me less stressed out and more able to dismiss my fears , other than getting a doctor to prescribe a drug. Have you come across any thing that would fit the bill?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

Just MY experience.   About 10 years ago was not feeling well.  Thought what the hell, try an antidepressant that the doctor said could help.  Did not like the way i felt ( not "uplifted" like I thought might be).  Just kinda weird.  Took for one month and stopped.  Felt much better !  Took more than a month after stopping before i did not get dizzy when lying down.  (withdrawal ! )

 

[soalbundy]

Just now, faraday said:

Do you have a link, or more on this please?

You could search google for Advaita Vedanta (can get quite complicated) There are many modern spiritual teachers on youtube, Francis Lucille, Eckhart Tolle, are two popular and sincere ones, somewhat radical is Tony Parsons a businessman who, while walking through a park in London, spontaneously experienced the death of 'me' "Not only was there no longer a Tony Parsons, I realized that there never had been". Here an excerpt from one of his books 'the open secret' I have written this before on TV but his use of English is so good and inspiring that I know it by heart even though he says it is a message that the mind will reject.

 

There is no me or you, no seeker, no enlightenment, no disciple and no guru. There is no better or worse, no path, and nothing that has to be achieved. All appearance is source. All that apparently manifests—the world, the life story, the hypnotic dream of separation, the search for home, is the one appearing as two, the nothing appearing as everything, the absolute appearing as the particular.

 

There is no separate intelligence weaving a destiny, and no choice functioning at any level. Nothing is happening, but this, as it is, invites the apparent seeker to rediscover that which already is . . the abiding uncaused, unchanging, impersonal silence from which unconditional love overflows and celebrates. It is the wonderful mystery.. .                                                                                          Tony Parsons

[Puchaiyank]

1 hour ago, Whip Me Granny said:

Ah my life style . On the face of it any one who knows me I’m sure sees a happy outgoing sort of chap who all ways has a smile and boundless energy . Some one who looks like they have it all,  a lovely family and financially ok. A guy that seems not to have a care in the world . In reality if the people who know me could step inside my mind they would see a darker place filled with an un smiling and worried man . A person who has come to realize that some day soon his clock will stop ticking ⏱️

 

You choose to occupy that dark place...you may worry yourself into an unnecessary early grave...think positively...

 

I recommend a special massage with a young woman hell bent on relieving your stress...afterwards, you may see things differently...

[White Christmas13]

1 hour ago, stephenterry said:

I'll be 75 in September, and my antidote is PMA. Positive Mental Attitude. To the OP it's clear that physically, you're healthy enough, but your mind has run off the track. I tend to live for today, avoid stress as that WILL shorten your life span, and never cross your bridges before coming to them.

 

As for antidepressants, that's not an answer. It merely dulls reality. So you're 70 - big deal - plan on living and enjoying a healthy life until you reach 100. That's your immediate target.

 

   

I fully agree with you I am 72 now and just came back from a short holiday in Thailand

after living in Thailand many years I moved back to Australia because of financial reasons

I live my life to the full now never think about what will happen tomorrow I have a

lady friend who is 21 years my junior which keeps me young nothing else I need

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, Whip Me Granny said:

Ive seen the word Antidepressant used . I was wondering if there's some thing I could take that would have the same calming effect , some thing to make me less stressed out and more able to dismiss my fears , other than getting a doctor to prescribe a drug. Have you come across any thing that would fit the bill?

Cannabis is great, never worry about anything again.

Eat it or smoke it.

[BritManToo]

26 minutes ago, White Christmas13 said:

I fully agree with you I am 72 now and just came back from a short holiday in Thailand

after living in Thailand many years I moved back to Australia because of financial reasons

I live my life to the full now never think about what will happen tomorrow I have a

lady friend who is 21 years my junior which keeps me young nothing else I need

I can't imagine banging a 50+yo woman, under 30s only for me.

[Krataiboy]

6 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Cheer up. You probably still have Eskimos, Bantus and Mexicans to go.

I thought eskimos only rubbed noses.

[Lacessit]

4 hours ago, Orton Rd said:

Life, like women, sex and money is over rated.

You have a better idea?

[Lacessit]

3 minutes ago, Krataiboy said:

I thought eskimos only rubbed noses.

Now be logical. How would there be any of them left if they just did that? Think of all those long Arctic nights in an igloo with no television.

[30la]

Don't think about death, it's inevitable!
Don't stress yourself with this thought!
Try to do some meditation daily, it helps a lot!
And very important, keep living your life and enjoy every single day!
FYI: I'm 66!

[natway09]

I think at times we all have these thoughts & anyone who would not admit that is fooling themselves.

Once you get over 70 start thinking the other way,,, that was I not lucky to have these wonderful years. Stay as healthy and active as you can, enjoy.

When the grim reaper comes he will come anyway just be at peace with yourself 

over it > Cheers

[NorK]

At 76 years old I think about this most days....

The clock of life is wound but once
And no man has the power
To tell just where the hands will stop,
At late or early hour.

To lose one’s wealth is sad indeed,
To lose one’s health is more.
To lose one’s soul is such a loss
As no man can restore.

The present only is our own.
Live, love, toil with a will.
Place no faith in ‘tomorrow’
For the clock may then be still.

by Robert H Smith

[Lacessit]

2 hours ago, GarryP said:

 

 

Retirement is what scares me the most at the moment, rather than death. I am only 3.5 years away from retirement and am worried about how to keep myself occupied. Gardening, is not really my thing and I can only do so much cycling and fishing.

It is a problem for those who have lived for their work. I know how you feel. One option is don't retire. All the financial gurus will tell you putting off your retirement helps reinforce your financial position.

The other option is to strike out in other directions for employment, although age discrimination is alive and well in all HR departments. Even if you work for peanuts, it still keeps you occupied. I worked in 4 different short-term occupations after my main employment.

Finally, don't stagnate. I researched SE Asian countries for six months before coming to Thailand ten years ago. I probably would have topped myself out of sheer boredom if I had remained in Australia. Thailand keeps me active physically and mentally.

I could suggest you take up golf, with a caveat. One needs to take up golf at age 10 to achieve proficiency. I've yet to meet any golfer who took up the sport at 50 or 60 who has achieved a single figure handicap. It is possible to play golf badly and enjoy it.

[DjSiN]

I think u answered your own question. Stay offline. Lots of stress to be had here. Some people live for it. 

Kudos to u tho u healthy old Bstd.!!

im only 48 and I’m stressed out with worry of illness etc. Mind u I’m healthy as an ox apart from a bad back. Oh, are oxen healthy!? Or strong? Haha. Anyway I get it what u are saying. 

 

Live on like any day cld be your last. That’s how do.  

[dotpoom]

I have already shared my thoughts yesterday in a post almost identical to this one....but reading this one today I was reminded of the wisdom in the principle that was "drummed" into me on my road to recovery from alcoholism...which was .."Live one day at a time"...and try to perfect the art of .."Living in the now". It was put this way..."If you keep one eye on yesterday.. and the other eye on tomorrow....you will be cross-eyed today".

  PS...I was a bit surprised at one of the earlier replies that said he was 63 and still riding his motorbike, but it's getting a bit heavier.

  I am 70 and hope to continue riding it for many more years to come. Mind you, I have just given up driving my car, always said I would at that age.  For me, it was the right decision. My eyes are not that good now, but that can be sorted.. my real concern is my lacking in "patients"..the mental type...I have little or no patients now for waiting or stupidity.. and it's getting worse. Not a good mental state for driving ...especially in Thailand.

[rumak]

1 hour ago, Benroon said:

Then you did it completely wrong - ALL anti depressants will need 3-6 months to even start to have an effect. You stopped as that process was kicking in. What you did was worse than not even trying. Also some AD's will have a horrible effect, the next will be the thing you're looking for. 

 

Anti-depressants do not create euphoria else everyone would be after them, many people give up when they're not dancing off the ceilings after taking them - their job is to stabilise the chemical imbalance that causes depression in the first place. 

 

As for those dismissing them, depression is every bit as real as a broken leg and if you have either you need treatment. It is extremely unlikely to go away on its own. The days of 'pull yourself together' type advice are well gone. If you don't like the thought of popping pills then CBT gets very positive reviews (trains you to think differently)

 

There are simple tests which will determine whether its real or just feeling a bit of a glum phase. The negative thoughts are a classic sign of depression.

As previously discussed, antidepressants can have harmful effects on development. Moreover, many people start taking these drugs when they are young and remain on them for years or decades. ... Altogether, the evidence leads us to conclude that antidepressants generally do more harm than good as treatments for depression.

THERE"S  18 million other "results" for whether antidepressants are good or bad for you.  SO Please excuse me if I don't take the word of one know-it-all on thaivisa.   Look for another poster to troll.   ( my posts are my opinions or experiences.... they are not written like yours to be taken as facts )

Edited June 26, 2019 by rumak

[Lacessit]

3 hours ago, Whip Me Granny said:

Ive seen the word Antidepressant used . I was wondering if there's some thing I could take that would have the same calming effect , some thing to make me less stressed out and more able to dismiss my fears , other than getting a doctor to prescribe a drug. Have you come across any thing that would fit the bill?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

Sleep disorder is a fairly common reason for prescription of anti-depressants. I was on them for years. I didn't like the way they dulled my mind.

Lack of sleep is a vicious cycle. My solution now - I have been off anti-depressants for several years. If my mind is too active, I get up and do something in preference to simply lying in bed awake.

Twice a week, I take a drowsy antihistamine - Codiphen. It gives me 10 hours of sleep.

[Lacessit]

1 minute ago, Benroon said:

So you keep saying - what's in it for them ?

Money. Next.

[legend49]

I don't like the criticism that writing brings.

 

I agree with you in this forum. It appears there are many bitter readers and they don't like peoples opinions.

[rumak]

6 minutes ago, Benroon said:

So much ignorance its sad.

 

I'm not claiming to know it all - but from reading that it's very clear I know a lot more than you do. 

 

To glibly wipe out a whole branch of medicine, that help millions of people live a normal, as opposed to an anxious life because you gave up on it before you should have, shouldn't stop other people from being more mature about them.

its you thats ignorant.   No   its you     No. its you   No  its you

grow up and stop posting trolls

Now i'm going to join marcus and get off this silly forum  where there's always sad guys looking for a fight

Edited June 26, 2019 by rumak

[Chazar]

Your time IS  running out BUT................out of the  million of  sperm you were the one that got  LUCKY, fertilised the egg were born and lived, enjoy every  moment, countless  billions and Trillions never  had that chance.

Make the best of what you have, then  hope you go out quickly and painlessly, you didnt know a  "before" you were born and you  wont  know an  "after"  youve  gone, ignore the mindless religious  claptrap...today is the first day of the rest of  your  life.

[Chazar]

15 hours ago, elliss said:

 

    Really ?.  should we not prepare for the health issues , old age brings .

   Dementia , Parkies , and everything else , that comes with old age .

   Bearing in mind , that we farlangs , generally live longer than thai men .

  How would our thai wifes / partners , cope with this , would they want to ??.

        

   I  have known , many brit farangs , faced with no hope ,

  have bought a one way ticket , home to the UK , to die,  thanks NHS hospice.

 

        Ignore it,   until it happens to you ..

 

 

Should be more places like  Dignitas worldwide, I congratulate them on the best way out.

[jensmann]

2 minutes ago, Chazar said:

Your time IS  running out BUT................out of the  million of  sperm you were the one that got  LUCKY, fertilised the egg were born and lived, enjoy every  moment, countless  billions and Trillions never  had that chance.

Make the best of what you have, then  hope you go out quickly and painlessly, you didnt know a  "before" you were born and you  wont  know an  "after"  youve  gone, ignore the mindless religious  claptrap...today is the first day of the rest of  your  life.

simple trick: accept that the last train will eventually come and enjoy the time waiting....

[Whip Me Granny]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

Cannabis is great, never worry about anything again.

Eat it or smoke it.

 

I don’t want to get any one into trouble but has any one ever used this option to help with similar feelings that I am now experiencing , I have never smoked but eating is some thing I enjoy ????

[Whip Me Granny]

 

Thanks to every one for your comments and suggestions , they are really appreciated and I will certainly take them on board and report back how things progress . One thing that's just sprung to mind is this .

 

I wonder who age wise is the current oldest active forum poster , at 70 I did think that may be I could claim that crown but after reading a few comments here may be I’m still on the spring chicken level ????

 

It would be an interesting thing to listen to the thoughts from the forums oldest reigning member on how they view this topic . Any one have an idea how I could find out who is oldest current active reigning member . I would love to ask them for their views . Or do you think you hold that title ?

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

[balo]

I think all you can do is to stay active until you drop.  Do what you enjoy , live a healthy lifestyle and do not think about the future. 
Maybe with some luck you can reach the grand old age of 100 ,and leave this world without too much pain 

 

But if you get a nasty disease like cancer and have to suffer for years I am not sure what I would do.