Need advice on marital situation

[OzFlyer]

1 minute ago, Skallywag said:

How does your wife have a business in Thailand, you run a business from OZ, and you live together?

Best be sure those "2 kids" are yours.  DNA testing for around 10,000 baht

My business incorporated in Australia. It is a SEO/SEM business so I don't need to physically be in Australia. All my clients are SMEs in Oz and UK. However I do need to keep up appearances if I want my business to stay alive for 5-10 years. She runs a B2B company selling industrial grade cleaning products, made locally but distributed all over to Thai companies/businesses. Her supply chains are already well established, having business contacts through family/friends.

 

The kids look like me and don't look Thai at all.

[kevvy]

4 hours ago, OzFlyer said:

You are obviously clueless about real estate prices in Melbourne going back a decade. Very affordable. I know I would rather be spending $500K on a place in Melb rather than 3 crummy overpriced houses in Issan. Absolutely worthless.

 

Houses were not affordable in melbourne , unless you are talking about the western suburbs.

If you have .500k ?? then go back and stop all this BS.

 

Update Melbourne and Sydney led house price gains across the country in 2010 although the pace of the increase tapered off towards the end of the year, according to a real estate research group.

Among the major cities, Melbourne’s median house prices rose 8.4 per cent in 2010 and 1.1 per cent, seasonally adjusted, in the final three months of the year, to $505,000, RP Data/Rismark said.

Edited July 7, 2019 by kevvy

[OzFlyer]

16 minutes ago, kevvy said:

Houses were not affordable in melbourne , unless you are talking about the western suburbs.

If you have .500k ?? then go back and stop all this BS.

 

Update Melbourne and Sydney led house price gains across the country in 2010 although the pace of the increase tapered off towards the end of the year, according to a real estate research group.

Among the major cities, Melbourne’s median house prices rose 8.4 per cent in 2010 and 1.1 per cent, seasonally adjusted, in the final three months of the year, to $505,000, RP Data/Rismark said.

That's simply not true. The median house price in Melb 2007-2009 was under $500K. If you shopped around and did your homework you could easily pick up a detached house for even $400K in a reasonable suburb.

 

Sydney is another story.

[kevvy]

16 minutes ago, OzFlyer said:

That's simply not true. The median house price in Melb 2007-2009 was under $500K. If you shopped around and did your homework you could easily pick up a detached house for even $400K in a reasonable suburb.

 

Sydney is another story.

As I said western suburbs .. where did you live , sunshine , st Albans .If you ever lived there , you are full are shittee

[Lacessit]

On 7/6/2019 at 9:19 AM, remorhaz said:

 

 

  In Thailand it doesn't matter but you better believe she's already gotten plenty of helpful advice about collecting child support from Australia.  Are the Aussies as brutal and cruel as the US when it comes to this absolutely undischargable in bankruptcy you must pay or go to prison type of debt?  I don't know but they are probably similar. 

 

 

Yes they are. Almost invariably, it is the mother who gets custody. Fathers only get custody if the mother is a complete ratbag.

The result of that is usually Family Court orders which can include garnishee orders on the salary of the father. One guy I used to know was having 90% of his wages going to the mother and children, struggling to live on the remaining 10%. Part of that 90% was continuing to pay the mortgage on the house she and the children occupied.

And women wonder why there are so many absconding husbands.

[OzFlyer]

2 hours ago, kevvy said:

As I said western suburbs .. where did you live , sunshine , st Albans .If you ever lived there , you are full are shittee

Total muppet. Check out inner north back in 2007.  Get your facts straight. Melbourne isn't Sydney.

 

My sister lives and bought a FREESTANDING HOUSE in GLEBE in 2003 for $330K. Don't tell me that is shiiitee as well? Know what that is worth right now?

 

Anyway, back on track. I wouldn't buy a house in Issan for more than 1MB. Absolute garbage here.

Edited July 7, 2019 by OzFlyer
For the benefit of the muppet

[faraday]

Keep going, the real story will come soon...

[kevvy]

lived in melbourne for 50 years , you are full of bullcrap.run home to mummy .. instead of coming here with your shitte.

3 hours ago, OzFlyer said:

Total muppet. Check out inner north back in 2007.  Get your facts straight. Melbourne isn't Sydney.

 

My sister lives and bought a FREESTANDING HOUSE in GLEBE in 2003 for $330K. Don't tell me that is shiiitee as well? Know what that is worth right now?

 

Anyway, back on track. I wouldn't buy a house in Issan for more than 1MB. Absolute garbage here.

 

[hatewaitin]

On 7/5/2019 at 5:17 PM, RJRS1301 said:

There are two children involved here, and they require consideration in this.

If children born in Thai she has the power. If AU born, not so much. 

If the children are being used as pawns still better to walk away! 

[AlexRRR]

On 7/5/2019 at 8:25 PM, BestB said:

Keep in mind you married in Oz, which means you have nothing and she will get everything. Her Thai debt are nothing in comparison what to come if she filed for divorce in Australia. Paying for kids education would be peanuts in comparison what you would have to pay for another 16 years in support by Oz standards not Thai standards 

 

Yep, be carful seems she is a smart girl...seems like she has acces to funds and if she knows anything about the Australian system she could fly back and start proceddings...with 2 young kids she would get 60 to 70% of your assets easily plus child support till there think 18 based on your income. On top of that likley to pretty much keep what you two have in Thailand though your entitled to 50% getting it is another story and she dont seem like the type that will negotiate.

 

Best if you want out to plan it...start moving assets out of your name, take a trip home and do it....

[kevvy]

36 minutes ago, AlexRRR said:

 

Yep, be carful seems she is a smart girl...seems like she has acces to funds and if she knows anything about the Australian system she could fly back and start proceddings...with 2 young kids she would get 60 to 70% of your assets easily plus child support till there think 18 based on your income. On top of that likley to pretty much keep what you two have in Thailand though your entitled to 50% getting it is another story and she dont seem like the type that will negotiate.

 

Best if you want out to plan it...start moving assets out of your name, take a trip home and do it....

He has a trust account t in his parents name.i dont believe anything he said. Check all his post posts , he always has something else to say and never talks about the truth. 

Does this remind you of someone ..

 

Edited July 7, 2019 by kevvy

[OzFlyer]

Get back on track ....

 

Kevvy - see an accountant if you don't know how to minimise your tax through a trust with family members. Needs to be parents, brothers or sisters. Can get your tax right down if they structure it right.

Kevvy again - Melb property prices in the 2000s. You must have been living under a rock in Melbourne for 50 years or speaking to the wrong people. 

 

You are clearly a troll trying to spoil this thread. The vast majority of posters here have offered good advice and has got me thinking of what to do next.

[OzFlyer]

12 hours ago, AlexRRR said:

 

Yep, be carful seems she is a smart girl...seems like she has acces to funds and if she knows anything about the Australian system she could fly back and start proceddings...with 2 young kids she would get 60 to 70% of your assets easily plus child support till there think 18 based on your income. On top of that likley to pretty much keep what you two have in Thailand though your entitled to 50% getting it is another story and she dont seem like the type that will negotiate.

 

Best if you want out to plan it...start moving assets out of your name, take a trip home and do it....

The assets are OK in Australia as locked up in family trust. Yes she can take a slice of it of course but that's fine. Like I mentioned before, it's more the kid's I am worried about. I just don't want them speaking broken English or having a Thai education.

 

One of our family friend's lives in Phuket and his 12year old son speaks perfectly English with an American accent. He speaks live a native and so do his friends. It's an international school. Contrast that with 12 year olds in Issan who can barely count 1, 2 3 in English. I know where I want my kids being educated and it's not Issan.

[AlexRRR]

5 hours ago, OzFlyer said:

The assets are OK in Australia as locked up in family trust. Yes she can take a slice of it of course but that's fine. Like I mentioned before, it's more the kid's I am worried about. I just don't want them speaking broken English or having a Thai education.

 

One of our family friend's lives in Phuket and his 12year old son speaks perfectly English with an American accent. He speaks live a native and so do his friends. It's an international school. Contrast that with 12 year olds in Issan who can barely count 1, 2 3 in English. I know where I want my kids being educated and it's not Issan.

 

If she wont let go you dont have a leg to stand on.....what you want and what she and her parents want ...well....eventuly even Isaan people move to go to university half of Bkk uni ed women are from isaan, you might want to approach it in another way...

[OzFlyer]

Kevvy is HI-SO ! 

[faraday]

6 minutes ago, OzFlyer said:

Kevvy is HI-SO ! 

Not if he comes from Eltham.

[kevvy]

8 hours ago, faraday said:

Not if he comes from Eltham.

Eltham is a nice suburb , better than the northern suburbs where oz came from or lived or whatever .He seems to know nothing about nothing. Hi-So about living in Eltham I dont think so , Just a nice suburb

 

buy

$930,000

(Price data last updated Jun 27th, 2019)

2 BR

-

3 BR

$845,000

4 BR

$1,013,900

 

Edited July 8, 2019 by kevvy

[PingRoundTheWorld]

On 7/5/2019 at 1:58 PM, OzFlyer said:

What is the freakin deal here? Am I just another ATM despite the fact I helped fund her existence in Thailand?

I think you've already answered yourself. It sounds like she's in it for the money and doesn't love you - if she loved you she wouldn't be milking you for cash nor threatening divorce.

 

Was she previously a bar girl or working girl? It sounds like she is quite good at milking and that's not a skill you learn without experience...

 

Serious question: are you absolutely sure the kids are yours? In your situation I would get a DNA test done before making any real decisions. Don't let her know you're doing it of course.

 

If there weren't kids involved it would be a no brainer - get out of the country and let her drown in her crap. With kids though (assuming they're yours) it gets complicated and there are no good answers, unless she lets you take them with you - which is unlikely. Maybe tell her you want to take them with you, and offer her money in return? It sounds like that's what she really cares about so who knows...

[OzFlyer]

7 hours ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

I think you've already answered yourself. It sounds like she's in it for the money and doesn't love you - if she loved you she wouldn't be milking you for cash nor threatening divorce.

 

Was she previously a bar girl or working girl? It sounds like she is quite good at milking and that's not a skill you learn without experience...

 

Serious question: are you absolutely sure the kids are yours? In your situation I would get a DNA test done before making any real decisions. Don't let her know you're doing it of course.

 

If there weren't kids involved it would be a no brainer - get out of the country and let her drown in her crap. With kids though (assuming they're yours) it gets complicated and there are no good answers, unless she lets you take them with you - which is unlikely. Maybe tell her you want to take them with you, and offer her money in return? It sounds like that's what she really cares about so who knows...

Haha, not a BG or WG and unless she is sleeping with another farang who looks like me, than potentially the kids aren't mine. They don't look Thai at all and have celebrity status already which is quite annoying as I hate Thai's approaching and taking pics of them with their kids.

 

There are upper mid/wealthy Thai families in Issan you know (I'd say about 10-15% of Issan) and from what I've seen, they can get credit from private lenders / loan sharks like it's going out of fashion.  The more I think about it, what % of the fancy items they wear/drive are owned outright...who the hell knows. The overwhelming majority of Issan are on low funds but they do own land. 

[faraday]

8 hours ago, kevvy said:

Eltham is a nice suburb , better than the northern suburbs where oz came from or lived or whatever .He seems to know nothing about nothing. Hi-So about living in Eltham I dont think so , Just a nice suburb

 

buy

$930,000

(Price data last updated Jun 27th, 2019)

2 BR

-

3 BR

$845,000

4 BR

$1,013,900

 

I must be honest kev, the only thing I know about Eltham is the YOI - not that I ever been a guest! 555

 

Wonder how his story will progress over the coming days?

????

[Hanuman2547]

Get on better terms with the wife.  Then plan a family vacation to Oz over the school break.  While there, contact a good divorce lawyer and file for divorce.  Make sure that the children are required to stay in Oz until the case is over and a determination made as to the future of the children and assets.  Best of luck, mate!

[SteveK]

1 hour ago, faraday said:

I must be honest kev, the only thing I know about Eltham is the YOI - not that I ever been a guest! 555

 

Wonder how his story will progress over the coming days?

????

Don't you mean Feltham?

[faraday]

1 hour ago, SteveK said:

Don't you mean Feltham?

Whoops!

 

Yes I do.

 

Solly na.

 

[mike787]

Whatever happens, try to make sure she doesn't leave you destroyed, and keep us posted on the outcome if you can.  I hope, however you can, put her on "notice" by making sure she knows you are NOT put on this earth to save it, Thailand, or her, and this ATM is permanently out of service.  Saving the human race (and Thailand) gods job!  

Good luck.

[OzFlyer]

Latest update as at midday 16 July 2019:

 

Having spent very little in the last 3 weeks in particular, she asked for 50,000 Baht which I refused, then 35,000 Baht which I refused, then 15,000 Baht which I refused. This was to help pay off the 3MB Loan. I said to her, if you have all this money from your business, why do you need my help to pay off the loan? She then said "you are not a good husband, I regret marrying you, I made a mistake". She also accused me of cheating even though I don't go out. She said "you are probably talking to girls in Australia when you go back so you can see them?".....this is coming from someone who has a lot of female and male friends which I don't bat an eyelid to.

 

As of today she told me in an email (not spoken even thought I was next to her), "I want to divorce you in court". As of right now I have taken a cab to Khon Kaen and stay in a hotel for a few days to let the dust settle. If there isn't a reconciliation I am on the next flight out to Melbourne.

 

Even if there is a reconciliation I can't predict when the next outburst will come.

Edited July 16, 2019 by OzFlyer
Typos

[Rimmer]

A vitriolic personal attack has been removed

[RJRS1301]

17 hours ago, OzFlyer said:

Latest update as at midday 16 July 2019:

 

Having spent very little in the last 3 weeks in particular, she asked for 50,000 Baht which I refused, then 35,000 Baht which I refused, then 15,000 Baht which I refused. This was to help pay off the 3MB Loan. I said to her, if you have all this money from your business, why do you need my help to pay off the loan? She then said "you are not a good husband, I regret marrying you, I made a mistake". She also accused me of cheating even though I don't go out. She said "you are probably talking to girls in Australia when you go back so you can see them?".....this is coming from someone who has a lot of female and male friends which I don't bat an eyelid to.

 

As of today she told me in an email (not spoken even thought I was next to her), "I want to divorce you in court". As of right now I have taken a cab to Khon Kaen and stay in a hotel for a few days to let the dust settle. If there isn't a reconciliation I am on the next flight out to Melbourne.

 

Even if there is a reconciliation I can't predict when the next outburst will come.

Good luck, I hope you can settle something about your children so you can remain in their life

[OzFlyer]

Hi all, thought I should update you since this the last post about a year ago. 

 

I did go to Australia for a while, didn't pay for her 3MB house. We have 2 kids.

 

My wife sunk herself into more debt by private investors. No joke, close to 16 MB owed to various people. She is the owner of this company which is on the verge of bankruptcy. She did ask me to bail her out in April which I point blank refused. I then left for Australia in late April as the borders were being shut. Things were quite testy in the final weeks leading up to my departure during Australia, begging me for money and what not, but I was adamant I had to go back and earn some money in Oz and Thailand was in the pits. I was under no impression that things were ending as she was still asking me for money while I was in AUstralia. Around end of May, from Australia I hired a private investigator to follow what she was up to in BKK. We found that she hit the online dating sites while married and 2 kids back in Issan with grandma, dating a few guys around Sukhumvit Soi 11 and Soi 13, and to my knowledge slept with a few also. Naturally I am devastated. I did confront her about her, she just said she wanted her life back and was only "dating guys" and taking to them, but wouldn't say if she slept with any. To cut a long story short (and I have spoken to an attorney already about the 2 kids), this is what I know:

 

*She failed to pay back a private lender 3MB which was under contract. The cheque she presented to him bounced. He then went to the local police station in Issan and served her papers for a bounced cheque. To my knowledge the first letter she ignored, ignored the second letter and is now on her third letter. Does anyone know about the process of bounced cheques? As she is flat broke she'll need her parents to bail her out and nobody as that kind of money.

*Btw the reason she can't pay that back is a mix of things: didn't run the company properly, bought her dad a 1.5MB toyota 4wd, bought a bit of land with her mum. She didn't really buy anything else from what we can see so people are naturally curious where all the money is hidden. We suspect the 16MB has been spent and misused and she probably has mental issues and as the walls were closing in, doubled down and spent more, slept around behind my back. 

*The money given to her by private investors, about 70% of the 16MB was under a contract and 30% was given stupidly without a contract. Is that sufficient enough to ensure she ends up behind bars?

*She cheated on me but the attorney said unless it's intercourse you can't prove it's adultery. Apparently kissing and holding hands isn't enough. Furthermore, if she ends up in jail for more than 1 year I can divorce her on those grounds. Has anyone divorced through the Thai courts to explain this process futher?

*Our 2 kids, she did offer to sell me the youngest one to pay off some of her debt which I refused.

 

How do you think I should play this? As I am in Australia, I am only sending money to grandma to look after the 2 kids in my absence. I am not sending her any money as I am worried it will go to her debts, dating or whatever else and not the kids.

 

I will not be returning to Thailand unless I have some clarity on how her debts are going to be paid. As it's such a large amount, her folks do have so money but nowhere near enough to pay that back. They'll have to sell everything and we'll still be quite short of the mark, especially during COVID-19 where people are simply broke.

Edited July 11, 2020 by OzFlyer
Clarify

[Lacessit]

10 minutes ago, OzFlyer said:

Hi all, thought I should update you since this the last post about a year ago. 

 

I did go to Australia for a while, didn't pay for her 3MB house. We have 2 kids.

 

My wife sunk herself into more debt by private investors. No joke, close to 16 MB owed to various people. She is the owner of this company which is on the verge of bankruptcy. She did ask me to bail her out in April which I point blank refused. I then left for Australia in late April as the borders were being shut. Things were quite testy in the final weeks leading up to my departure during Australia, begging me for money and what not, but I was adamant I had to go back and earn some money in Oz and Thailand was in the pits. I was under no impression that things were ending as she was still asking me for money while I was in AUstralia. Around end of May, from Australia I hired a private investigator to follow what she was up to in BKK. We found that she hit the online dating sites while married and 2 kids back in Issan with grandma, dating a few guys around Sukhumvit Soi 11 and Soi 13, and to my knowledge slept with a few also. Naturally I am devastated. I did confront her about her, she just said she wanted her life back and was only "dating guys" and taking to them, but wouldn't say if she slept with any. To cut a long story short (and I have spoken to an attorney already about the 2 kids), this is what I know:

 

*She failed to pay back a private lender 3MB which was under contract. The cheque she presented to him bounced. He then went to the local police station in Issan and served her papers for a bounced cheque. To my knowledge the first letter she ignored, ignored the second letter and is now on her third letter. Does anyone know about the process of bounced cheques? As she is flat broke she'll need her parents to bail her out and nobody as that kind of money.

*Btw the reason she can't pay that back is a mix of things: didn't run the company properly, bought her dad a 1.5MB toyota 4wd, bought a bit of land with her mum. She didn't really buy anything else from what we can see so people are naturally curious where all the money is hidden. We suspect the 16MB has been spent and misused and she probably has mental issues and as the walls were closing in, doubled down and spent more, slept around behind my back. 

*The money given to her by private investors, about 70% of the 16MB was under a contract and 30% was given stupidly without a contract. Is that sufficient enough to ensure she ends up behind bars?

*She cheated on me but the attorney said unless it's intercourse you can't prove it's adultery. Apparently kissing and holding hands isn't enough. Furthermore, if she ends up in jail for more than 1 year I can divorce her on those grounds. Has anyone divorced through the Thai courts to explain this process futher?

*Our 2 kids, she did offer to sell me the youngest one to pay off some of her debt which I refused.

 

How do you think I should play this? As I am in Australia, I am only sending money to grandma to look after the 2 kids in my absence. I am not sending her any money as I am worried it will go to her debts, dating or whatever else and not the kids.

 

I will not be returning to Thailand unless I have some clarity on how her debts are going to be paid. As it's such a large amount, her folks do have so money but nowhere near enough to pay that back. They'll have to sell everything and we'll still be quite short of the mark, especially during COVID-19 where people are simply broke.

It's unlikely you can get out of Australia, or back into Thailand, for quite some time. Could be several years.

It's unfortunate you don't have a DNA test on the kids to prove paternity. For all you know, another farang could be involved. If she's sleeping around now, she probably has done it before.

 

Under the circumstances, in your shoes I would continue sending money to grandma to look after the kids. As for the rest, it is the family's problem, not yours. Let the chips fall where they may.

[OzFlyer]

2 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

It's unlikely you can get out of Australia, or back into Thailand, for quite some time. Could be several years.

It's unfortunate you don't have a DNA test on the kids to prove paternity. For all you know, another farang could be involved. If she's sleeping around now, she probably has done it before.

 

Under the circumstances, in your shoes I would continue sending money to grandma to look after the kids. As for the rest, it is the family's problem, not yours. Let the chips fall where they may.

Yes it's a good thing I am here because if I was there I would have lost the plot.

 

We hacked her account and figured out that the first week I was in Australia under the 14 day quarantine, she signed up for the dating site. I was shocked and naturally heartbroken.

 

Her debts, well she doesn't have a visa to come to Australia as we never did that even though she is married. Her passport has been blocked as the Issan Police have requested her to appear for questioning at the station which so far she has refused to do. My understanding is that if you ignore the 3rd letter they'll put out an arrest warrant. 

 

I simply don't want to be in Thailand while all these debts are being negotiated. The 3MB bounced cheque is a criminal matter but the balance is civil and let's just say, there are a lot of angry people who want their money back. They are corresponding with me in FB, not asking me for money, but keeping me in the loop. They understand I have nothing to do with her company and have said this is her problem.

 

Can someone go to jail for such a large amount? Does anyone know? I would have thought it's such a huge amount, she's in the poo. 

 

I was thinking that perhaps she's cheated on me in the past, hard to say though. I wasn't always in Australia during this time. I am pretty sure they are both mine as they basically look like me but when we hit the divorce courts I'll request a DNA test through the Bangkok Police Hospital.

 

The reason I am posting this is because I am really confused as to what to do. I couldn't possibly take her back. Right now she is partying in BKK with these friends I've never seen before. She's completely lost the plot. Meanwhile 2 kids are back with grandma in Issan. How can someone be so brazen to cheat, reckless with money and take pictures of cocktails and poolside dinners? I am out of words