Need advice on marital situation

[OzFlyer]

Story is 100% true.

 

I can share a redacted screenshot of the police warrant if you'd like from a police station in Issan dated May 2020 for a bounced cheque for 3MB

[Scott]

Troll posts removed.   If you are not interested, move on to another topic.   Continued trolling will result in a suspension.  

 

[rhodie]

18 hours ago, OzFlyer said:

Story is 100% true.

 

I can share a redacted screenshot of the police warrant if you'd like from a police station in Issan dated May 2020 for a bounced cheque for 3MB

You are not the first and you won't be the last guy to go through this, but I'm sure you know that already. What she is doing is pretty normal for a lot of Thai women when their other half is out of the country and not supporting them. If you can, just keep doing what you are. It obviously helps you mentally to look after your kids. But it sounds like you are struggling with it so get some help if you can. Good luck.

[OzFlyer]

38 minutes ago, rhodie said:

You are not the first and you won't be the last guy to go through this, but I'm sure you know that already. What she is doing is pretty normal for a lot of Thai women when their other half is out of the country and not supporting them. If you can, just keep doing what you are. It obviously helps you mentally to look after your kids. But it sounds like you are struggling with it so get some help if you can. Good luck.

The part I am struggling with the most is that she has put her business debts above keeping us together. It's not as important to her have these 2 kids raised together by their biological parents as it is finding someone to pay her business debts which are enormous.

 

So right now while married she is whoring around, putting herself on a path to self-destruction. Or does she see it differently?

 

All jokes aside, can anyone shed light into the mind of this lying sociopath?

 

[Mister T]

I feel for you, but I think you are doing all the right things. Stay out of the country until she gets locked up, keep sending just enough to support grannie and the kids. Most importantly, block all contacts with her and her friends. Knowing what she is up to will eat at you night and day.

Best wishes and good luck.

[OzFlyer]

1 hour ago, Mister T said:

I feel for you, but I think you are doing all the right things. Stay out of the country until she gets locked up, keep sending just enough to support grannie and the kids. Most importantly, block all contacts with her and her friends. Knowing what she is up to will eat at you night and day.

Best wishes and good luck.

That's the part that makes me angry. I can't leave Australia to confront her about her affairs.

 

Technically I can leave Australia with an exemption and if flights are available but then I am stuck there and potentially in legal trouble myself if they begin proceedings against her and I am in the country. They could very well come after me also even though I have nothing to do with the situation. It's Thailand, anything is possible. It's just not safe for me to be there right now until her debts are resolved and/or she's locked up.

 

The attorney I spoke to strongly advised me to not think about getting on a plane to Bangkok until they have an idea about her legal situation. I was advised to also run a police check on my name to make sure I wouldn't be detained at the airport.

 

 

 

 

[rhodie]

17 hours ago, OzFlyer said:

The attorney I spoke to strongly advised me to not think about getting on a plane to Bangkok until they have an idea about her legal situation. I was advised to also run a police check on my name to make sure I wouldn't be detained at the airport.

I think this is pretty good advice. You need to talk to more people that understand Thai culture. They see/do things very differently to us Westerners.

[BritManToo]

On 7/11/2020 at 9:21 PM, OzFlyer said:

Story is 100% true.

 

I can share a redacted screenshot of the police warrant if you'd like from a police station in Issan dated May 2020 for a bounced cheque for 3MB

Odd sort of mistake to make.

Business debts, bad personal loans are not recoverable, she could have just declared herself bankrupt and they are all gone. Bounced cheque is a criminal offence in Thailand, she can go to jail for that, if it was a large cheque for quite a long time ....... 3MB = 5-10 years.

[BritManToo]

On 7/11/2020 at 8:10 PM, OzFlyer said:

*She failed to pay back a private lender 3MB which was under contract. The cheque she presented to him bounced. He then went to the local police station in Issan and served her papers for a bounced cheque.

 

*The money given to her by private investors, about 70% of the 16MB was under a contract and 30% was given stupidly without a contract. Is that sufficient enough to ensure she ends up behind bars?

 

*She cheated on me but the attorney said unless it's intercourse you can't prove it's adultery. Apparently kissing and holding hands isn't enough. Furthermore, if she ends up in jail for more than 1 year I can divorce her on those grounds. Has anyone divorced through the Thai courts to explain this process futher?

 

*Our 2 kids, she did offer to sell me the youngest one to pay off some of her debt which I refused.

How do you think I should play this? As I am in Australia, I am only sending money to grandma to look after the 2 kids in my absence. I am not sending her any money as I am worried it will go to her debts, dating or whatever else and not the kids.

In Thailand ........

Owing people money = no problem (unless they pay to have you killed).

Bouncing a cheque = jail.

Cheating on you = normal female behaviour.

Offering to sell her kids = normal.

 

Do not send any money to grandma, it won't be spent on the kids.

How much money are you sending?

I'm betting an enormous amount (by Thai standards) which mom and grandma will share.

[OzFlyer]

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

In Thailand ........

Owing people money = no problem (unless they pay to have you killed).

Bouncing a cheque = jail.

Cheating on you = normal female behaviour.

Offering to sell her kids = normal.

 

Do not send any money to grandma, it won't be spent on the kids.

How much money are you sending?

I'm betting an enormous amount (by Thai standards) which mom and grandma will share.

I have been gone almost 3 months and have sent about 13,000B a month. When I was there milk for the 2 kids, nappies, wipes and food was costing about 10,000B so the 13,000B is nothing over the top. The milk is expensive.

 

She likes to think she is this high flying corporate CEO but the reality is that she's from Issan, her house is in Issan, she hates BKK but is there now to make money for the company, and she's saddled with all this debt + has to front at the police station back home with a lawyer. She begged me for 100,000B for legal fees. Also as mentioned before, bail set at 1MB which she doesn't have and dad will need to foot the bill. Also dad can't sell his property because it's already mortgaged up to help his 2 sons out with their university studies. There isn't that much free cash floating around. She could find an old farang guy in BKK but you think he'll want to stick around once he figures out she's more trouble then she's worth? He'll have his fun and toss her aside.

 

So she could be making 5k-10k baht here and there from online dates, western union transfers and what not but that is a drop in the ocean compared to the debt she is facing. 

 

Yes she can file for bankruptcy but these investors are angry and will be confronting her dad. It wouldn't surprise me if they have threatened the father already while the daughter is in BKK sipping Cosmopolitans on Soi 11 with her new buddies.

 

 

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, OzFlyer said:

So she could be making 5k-10k baht here and there from online dates, western union transfers and what not but that is a drop in the ocean compared to the debt she is facing. 

 

Yes she can file for bankruptcy but these investors are angry and will be confronting her dad. It wouldn't surprise me if they have threatened the father already while the daughter is in BKK sipping Cosmopolitans on Soi 11 with her new buddies.

At 30 years old she ain't getting much from online dates.

Not many customers at the moment, and every 20 year old go-go girl to compete with.

 

The bounced check will jail her, nothing else.

Then when she's in jail, you can collect your kids.

[OzFlyer]

9 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

At 30 years old she ain't getting much from online dates.

Not many customers at the moment, and every 20 year old go-go girl to compete with.

 

The bounced check will jail her, nothing else.

Then when she's in jail, you can collect your kids.

Here's her explanation about the bounced cheque.

 

The investor (also a minority shareholder in her company and former best friend) who gave her the 3MB under contract signed before 2 witnesses "made me do this cheque, it was an old chequebook, he made me write this cheque, we do together"

 

I then told her, I've never heard this story in my life. She said he made her do it. But the chequebook wasn't old at all, the cheque was still valid. The police have looked into it already, statement from the Bank saying it's a bounced cheque with a code and full investigation. If it was an old cheque the bank would have said the cheque has expired but no, they said it's a valid cheque with no funds to pay 3MB.

 

The investor is irate, everyone who loaned him money is irate. There are 15 investors who have given him all this money. It isn't entirely his

 

Sorry the 3MB for the bounced cheque is all his money. The other 10MB is from 15 investors around Thailand. They all know each other and they are hammering him every day for their money back.

 

 

 

 

 

[steven100]

You can't live in a house in Issan.

She won't live in a condo in BKK

She wants a divorce

 

Your situation is unacceptable for you and as such you really only have the divorce option.

Discuss the divorce option with her but tell her you are not parting with any cash.

Tell her you want to give child support and you wish to see the kids whenever you want.

 

At least this way you can move on with your life as now that's impossible.

[BritManToo]

Just now, OzFlyer said:

Here's her explanation about the bounced cheque.

Police and court won't care, bounced cheque = jail in Thailand.

[OzFlyer]

8 minutes ago, steven100 said:

You can't live in a house in Issan.

She won't live in a condo in BKK

She wants a divorce

 

Your situation is unacceptable for you and as such you really only have the divorce option.

Discuss the divorce option with her but tell her you are not parting with any cash.

Tell her you want to give child support and you wish to see the kids whenever you want.

 

At least this way you can move on with your life as now that's impossible.

Right now she is staying in a condo in BKK which is something she really doesn't want to do. I've never known her to like BKK. She is having cocktails in Sukhumvit and what not but I thought Issan girls loathe BKK and if they could not be there they would?

 

Every Issan person I know hates BKK.

 

Tbh she hasn't even mentioned the word "divorce".

 

 

[bert bloggs]

I read posts like this so often ,and every day i am so happy that i have a decent wife who for most of our married life here and in the UK has had my pin nos as i have hers ,has joint bank accounts with me ,and when she worked for many years in  property used to pay loads of our bills every month , she ,like her family is a decent human being ,and our son has turned out the same.

ps before i met my wife i had a Thai girlfriend ,she also was a nice decent person and now all those years later is married and lives in the UK but is still a friend to my wife and i .

[steven100]

27 minutes ago, OzFlyer said:

Right now she is staying in a condo in BKK which is something she really doesn't want to do. I've never known her to like BKK. She is having cocktails in Sukhumvit and what not but I thought Issan girls loathe BKK and if they could not be there they would?

 

Every Issan person I know hates BKK.

 

Tbh she hasn't even mentioned the word "divorce".

 

 

aha .....  

the thing is you have to look at this from a practical perspective ....  no feelings ... no angry ...

your options are limited.

You need to divorce to move on with life ?  if so ... discuss with her .... get out ... pay minimal amount or what she is entitled to. 

as I said, sit down discuss ....  no additional money  ... your out .....  

send money for kids 

you want to see kids whenever .

say bye bye ....

[OzFlyer]

3 hours ago, steven100 said:

aha .....  

the thing is you have to look at this from a practical perspective ....  no feelings ... no angry ...

your options are limited.

You need to divorce to move on with life ?  if so ... discuss with her .... get out ... pay minimal amount or what she is entitled to. 

as I said, sit down discuss ....  no additional money  ... your out .....  

send money for kids 

you want to see kids whenever .

say bye bye ....

As mentioned before, will not be paying a cent for her debts. These debts are life crippling. At best she'll be bankrupt. At worst she'll be bankrupt and behind bars.

 

She will be sorely mistaken is she thinks I'll pay her debts to get the kids. The most I will pay is monthly child support to ensure visitation rights.

 

I do want this to go to court (at more cost which is fine) to put tighten the financial screws on her even more and I do want the courts to dig into her bank accounts to see how much she has and what she owes. She's in so much debt she would have to borrow even more money for a lawyer. My attorney said that if she's a no show at court then it proceeds as usual. 

 

[steven100]

8 minutes ago, OzFlyer said:

My attorney said that if she's a no show at court then it proceeds as usual.

I had a case recently, and the first appearance was a no show ... which p_issed me off because it cost me 16k to fly upcountry with Lawyer and a couple of support friends. 

[OzFlyer]

28 minutes ago, steven100 said:

I had a case recently, and the first appearance was a no show ... which p_issed me off because it cost me 16k to fly upcountry with Lawyer and a couple of support friends. 

My lawyer told me it's 50-50 as to whether she appears in court. In his experience they do a runner as they simply don't have the money for a lawyer.

[Iaan]

Don’t allow her to get her way. When she’s starts acting crazy ignore her. Do not give to her business. 
 

im in the same boat but here living in the states with 2 kids. It’s difficult to Leave my Thai wife with 2 kids. I still live with her. Now that she works and have an online business she chats with supposedly customers to 3am almost every night. 
 

I know for a fact that she cheats and lies and is very dumb at lying. I’m just waiting gathering more evidence that she hits our 15month son. She’s always on her phone not watching the kids for hours when I’m at work. 
 

When and if the time is right hopefully I win custody of my 2 sons. 
 

Thai women are not tech savvy especially if they are from Isan. You should buy a present for her, flowers and a new iPhone 11 or Samsung and set it up with monitoring software. You will have a better piece of mind. 
 

dude when you leave back to Australia. She will have her Thai boyfriend. Facts! It happened to me.

[BritManToo]

24 minutes ago, Iaan said:

she chats with supposedly customers to 3am almost every night.

I have no doubt that they are genuine customers.

You just need to confirm what she's selling.

[OzFlyer]

1 hour ago, Iaan said:

Don’t allow her to get her way. When she’s starts acting crazy ignore her. Do not give to her business. 
 

im in the same boat but here living in the states with 2 kids. It’s difficult to Leave my Thai wife with 2 kids. I still live with her. Now that she works and have an online business she chats with supposedly customers to 3am almost every night. 
 

I know for a fact that she cheats and lies and is very dumb at lying. I’m just waiting gathering more evidence that she hits our 15month son. She’s always on her phone not watching the kids for hours when I’m at work. 
 

When and if the time is right hopefully I win custody of my 2 sons. 
 

Thai women are not tech savvy especially if they are from Isan. You should buy a present for her, flowers and a new iPhone 11 or Samsung and set it up with monitoring software. You will have a better piece of mind. 
 

dude when you leave back to Australia. She will have her Thai boyfriend. Facts! It happened to me.

Someone in mountains of debts which are unimaginable, police arrest warrant in waiting, 2 kids being looked after by grandma who is also needing some money as she isn't working.

 

Good luck to the next sucker. If he wants a single mum, he's going to have to pay for it. Who would want to pay for that when you can get a younger and fresh one with no kids, debt free (or little debt).

 

As soon as the new guy starts getting asked for ridiculous amounts of money like I did, he'll put up with it until he gets bored or her to a point then dump her. She is also a starfish in bed also from the age of 23 when I first met her to 29. She also can't perform (if you know what I mean) due to her C-section from 2 kids which still gives her pain.

[OzFlyer]

Latest update:

*6 cheques bounced to the total of around 10MB which was all investor money hoping for a 5% return from her company. Cheques written from a 6MB line of credit account from Bangkok Bank that was closed due to repeated loan repayment defaults (6MB credit all used up). About 50% of that money was used to purchase a house .... surely the bank will repossess that. Ok so there's another 3MB spent on other activities. 

*Bangkok Bank loan was approved based on her using money from investors to cook the books. Charge of obtaining a loan with false information is waiting to be laid as well.

*Arrest warrrant due in a few weeks. Police giving her every chance to pay creditors back their money. Doesn't look like there's any cash left. 

*Pled guilty a few months ago to writing bounced cheques. Given almost 2 months to work out loan repayment schedule. Hasn't approached any creditors. Waiting for public prosecutor to take the case and plead for leniency, i.e. not go to jail. Police in their discussion with me said it's a slam dunk as she's already pled guilty. Their position is that her company is a ponzi scheme, the word "fraud" was used.

 

People are wondering where someone could steal 12-15MB from investors in a ponzi scheme and not pay them back? Surely not everything went into the company. Car purchase, land purchases....people including me are scratching their heads as to where the money is.

 

Police did say we'll subpoena all her records and learn of the money trail.

 

Does anyone have a sense in Thailand of how this money can be spent? From what I can see the only "extravagant" purchase was a 4WD worth about 1.3MB.  Possibly money bought with land. However if she had the money to pay back surely all the assets would have been sold which leaves me to think the money has been spent.

 

A few holidays but not over the top, domestic travel, pay staff, bills, rent etc....doesn't get you close to 10MB. Perhaps a few failed investments. 

 

Does anyone know how this money can be spent in Thailand? Assume it hasn't left the country. Given to parents and friends? Surely they would have given it back to her to keep the police at bay.

 

Everyone is at their wit's end trying to figure out where the cash all went. Anyone have experience in this? From our estimation close to 16MB has been spent.

 

 

 

 

 

[BritManToo]

15 minutes ago, OzFlyer said:

Does anyone know how this money can be spent in Thailand? Assume it hasn't left the country. Given to parents and friends? Surely they would have given it back to her to keep the police at bay.

Gold and cash in a safe at a pals house (or her Thai husband's house).

Or in a condo she rented under a fake name @2,000bht/month.

[OzFlyer]

You think the money is stashed away? If she doesn't confess to where it is they will add years to her sentence. Police did indicate 5-10 years for multiple fraud offences.

 

Police said if it's gone overseas they can easily get it back.

 

She has about 2 weeks to agree to a loan repayment but that ain't happening because she has no honest income. The income currently if from her ponzi scheme which they want to close.

 

Possibly given to parents who have spent it on farming products? They have a small rubber operation going. It's just a staggering amount of money and they will go through all her phone and bank records with a fine tooth comb and interrogate her.

 

Can someone manage a business this poorly and spend that amount of money? 

 

 

[BritManToo]

On 7/14/2020 at 7:30 AM, OzFlyer said:

As soon as the new guy starts getting asked for ridiculous amounts of money like I did, he'll put up with it until he gets bored or her to a point then dump her. She is also a starfish in bed also from the age of 23 when I first met her to 29. She also can't perform (if you know what I mean) due to her C-section from 2 kids which still gives her pain.

Probably a lie she's telling you to put you off.

I knew a woman who told her white husband the same story.

The reality was her Thai husband didn't like her having sex with the white guy.

[CorpusChristie]

16 minutes ago, OzFlyer said:

 

 

Everyone is at their wit's end trying to figure out where the cash all went. Anyone have experience in this? From our estimation close to 16MB has been spent.

 

Gamboling ?

 

[OzFlyer]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

Probably a lie she's telling you to put you off.

I knew a woman who told her white husband the same story.

The reality was her Thai husband didn't like her having sex with the white guy.

Haha impossible. Married for 6 years, know every inch of her and remember the initial dating period as well. She's 30 now, met her when she was 22. I've had her at her best in her 20s.

 

 

[OzFlyer]

1 minute ago, CorpusChristie said:

Gamboling ?

 

Not a card player. To my knowledge dabbled in a Thai version of Bitcoin but nothing over the top from what I can see although I could be wrong there. Ok let's say she gambled 3MB on Bitcoin and lost everything. It still doesn't get close to around the 15MB mark.