Do you still feel lonely and regret not being married or hooked up?

[mike787]

Great Post.  

Answer = HELL NO way!  In light of the consequences of what Thai, asian, or any women can do to a man.  I'll keep my money, time, peace, and freedom.  Especially the Time and freedom, both priceless.  Most people on this planet are messed up, no-one has the answers, everyone is stumbling through life trying to figure it/themselves out, and on people to get to the next place.  I am not going to be part of that.  However, I am rare in how I see that, and that's ok.    

[xylophone]

I am approaching 72 and am perfectly happy living alone, and being alone for that matter, although I did live with a lovely lady here for almost 5 years and apart from her silences, which were annoying, generally speaking the relationship was a good one.

 

However having been on my own for the best part of my life, even taking responsibility for myself from a very early age, due to a dysfunctional family, being on my own is normal and very comfortable for me. So conversely, living with somebody does put me under a certain amount of internal stress for whatever reason and that's always been the case.

 

I have had long-term girlfriends in the past, whom I would see on a casual basis, but never wanted to live with them or get married, especially so here in Thailand, where I see so many unhappy farangs, and the vast majority of those whom I know, and who are married, are getting their leg over elsewhere whenever they can! Seems to defeat the object of marriage as far as I'm concerned.

 

As someone else has posted, the amount of farangs with Thai partners/wives I see sitting in restaurants, cafes or bars who rarely talk and just stare out into the ether is just amazing and completely puts me off any sort of long-term relationship here. This is also the case with women I have encountered here, because once you have got past the very narrow spectrum of their knowledge of anything outside of the place they now live, or their village, the conversation is dead.

 

I do have a friend who is very needy and cannot be without a woman in his life and despite the fact that he has been married six times and is trying to marry his seventh girlfriend, he just cannot stop himself, because he cannot be on his own – – sad in my opinion.

 

Also, as others have said, there are plenty of opportunities here to be able to get some "companionship" for an hour, a day or a week, if one wants it and one can definitely be selective about whom one chooses.

 

If my situation should call for some care, as I'm not getting any younger, then I will certainly pay a carer to move in or do whatever is necessary to make sure that I am as healthy and as mobile as can be, given the circumstances.

 

I suppose I'm lucky in a way, because my ex girlfriend's daughter is now my unofficially adopted daughter and we catch up for shopping and lunch a few times a month and are always in contact via email or mobile, so that gives me the welcome company of a delightful young lady who wants to learn more English and who is keen on university studies, so we have a lot to talk about – – and that sort of fulfils any necessity I have to speak with a Thai woman!
 

[malibukid]

happy and single, simply do not posses the personality type for marriage. 

Edited July 12, 2019 by malibukid

[NanLaew]

8 hours ago, madmen said:

Been either married or in a relationship my whole damn life and finally its nice to wake up and not have to think about what a partner has planned for the day.

There is no need to marry a Thai when they are so freely available for pleasure , daily I see farang /Thai couples sitting in a restaurant both staring off into the distance and struggling to communicate. Many farang are lonely in their marriage and that's the worst type of alone..

Can't see what's so hot about sitting on your lonesome in a restaurant every day, watching farang couples not communicating. Is it fun?

[Lacessit]

2 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

My only son and the only woman I ever loved are both dead.  So, I came to Thailand.  Just doing life a day at a time.  Enjoy what you have.  

Nothing could be sadder than having your children die before you. I can't imagine how that must feel.

[BigT73]

2 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Of course, I should have known. They are all second or third runners up in the annual Miss Bangkok beauty contest, and they give you a  discount because you are hansum man with a big todger.

most of them are fellas dressed in skirts.

[BigT73]

4 hours ago, wolf81 said:

I'm 38 years old, so not really the target group of your question, but anyways ...

 

I have a GF and daughter (2+ years old now) but somewhere in the far future (perhaps when our daughter is 18 years old or so) I'd like to be alone again to be honest. But have my GF and *especially* my daughter within reach.

 

I love my daughter too much. I love my girlfriend at times, but often she can be rather annoying as well. And in those cases I would love to be alone again. 

 

For example if she complains about a few hairs on the floor after shaving (I try to clean but sometimes might miss a hair) or if I clean my hands and a few drops of water drop on the floor. Or when we're driving and she tells me how to drive (even if she never drove a car). Stuff like that annoys me a lot. Then I dream about living alone. 

 

I think living-apart-together relations would be perfect, but not sure if we could achieve that in the future. Since she likes to stay on the Thai country-side and I want to move back to the city. For education of our daughter it'd be better anyway, but I guess we'll see how things go.

 

Until I was 35 I pretty much lived alone and felt never lonely and loved the complete freedom. I could live like that again.

You should try to deal with this asap, life is too short to allow anyone to treat you like this.  My partner did try this but I stamped it out earlier on in the relationship.  Try talking to her on how it makes you feel and demand respect, we are all entitaled to that!

[Jane Dough]

I crave solitude when I am in company and look forward to company when I am alone. 

 

Rooster

[Lacessit]

7 minutes ago, Jane Dough said:

I crave solitude when I am in company and look forward to company when I am alone. 

 

Rooster

That sounds almost bipolar to me. Whatever floats your boat.

[khunPer]

That is actually very good questions that OP ask:

»Can i ask how many of you say in your 70’s living in Thailand are not hooked up with a partner and are happy living alone ?

Do you need someone in your life as you get older ?«

 

Especially the second, about who is looking after you, when you pass the age of 70?

 

Sometimes life might be easier, when living alone – perhaps especially for a man – but in a foreign country it might be different, far from family, and without the social security, and network, you normally have in your home country.

 

Living together with someone is an act of balance, even just living as friends.

 

Close to my house lives an elder man – seems older than me, so perhaps in his later 70ies or even 80ies – he lives alone with two dogs. I see him every day, we're walking dogs on the beach about same time in the early evening. Perhaps it's an ideal life, being independent, and still having friends, the dogs. If I walk by his house in the evenings, the door would be open and loud TV-sound can be heard, so that might be his major evening recreation.

 

I'm a few month from 70, so almost in the age group for answering OP. I've never been married – kind of freedom when not being tied up – but I've lived with a couple of long-time girlfriends; also one in Thailand, the same for 15-years now. And I've also lived alone for several years in my home country, so I know that feeling too.

 

Kind of balance to live together with someone, but have worked well; however still make me think about how it would be to live alone in Thailand, and how would I manage when I get old alone in a foreign country...????

 

Luckily there is an age gap between my partner and me, so I don't feel as old, as I am. And also, from the beginning I said "don't try to change me" – remember what Marlene Dietrich said: »Most women set out to try to change a man, and when they have changed him they do not like him« – that might be what makes it work...????

 

–and of course, also letting me have privacy in my study together with Thaivisa forum...????

[murraynz]

this is a great topic, with many great replies...

i live alone and prefer it that way,but i have several close thai lady friends who want to move in with me..

obviously it will get very difficult to continue multi relationships, if i have a live-in..

i like by myself, can do exactly as i wish, when and how i wish, with no criticisms...

in thailand , there is heaps of company available, sometimes i even meet very interesting men in the bars, for more stimulating conversation..

my family claim they will drag me back to NZ when im old....

but at 68, i believe i have many more active years---then i will pay a qualified live-in nurse to take care of me...

pattaya is a great place--there is no excuse for being lonely here,,, sure some conversations are very limited, there are many ,only interested in relieving us of our money..but there is no need to get married.this only complicates things..

[ianwheldale]

Been there, done it, got the T-shirt and the kids to go with it. Once bitten............ Happy enough with my social life without adding stress and complications I can do without.

[Ulic]

I have never been married, no children, alone, but not lonely. I am comfortable in my own skin as the expression goes. Maybe this will change, but I doubt it.

[CharlieH]

Derogatory remark and response to it have been removed.

[madmen]

8 hours ago, NanLaew said:

Can't see what's so hot about sitting on your lonesome in a restaurant every day, watching farang couples not communicating. Is it fun?

WOW ! Didn't mean to touch a raw nerve dude.

[luckyluke]

My wife and I have a L.A.T. (Living Apart Together) relation since 2000.

Average of being together : 2 days/nights a week. 

So far it suit us best. 

[NanLaew]

2 hours ago, madmen said:

WOW ! Didn't mean to touch a raw nerve dude.

Don't kid yourself.

 

But beyond the weak deflection, why does watching other couples perceived communication problems in public interest you so much that it's worth commenting about?

[Nemises]

No regrets at all. In fact feel sorry for those in relationships here and not able to live the dream. Topic heading should be changed to :

 

Do you regret being stuck with the same woman when living in Pussy Paradise?

[steven100]

15 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

My only son and the only woman I ever loved are both dead.  So, I came to Thailand.  Just doing life a day at a time.  Enjoy what you have.  

this made my eye's teary. sad to hear. i'm sorry. was there an accident.

[BritManToo]

33 minutes ago, Nemises said:

No regrets at all. In fact feel sorry for those in relationships here and not able to live the dream. Topic heading should be changed to :

Do you regret being stuck with the same woman when living in Pussy Paradise?

Why do you think we're stuck with only the one?

Thailand, land of fooling around.

[Nemises]

Why do you think we're stuck with only the one?
Thailand, land of fooling around.

Just don’t get caught [emoji380]

[Awinkl]

21 hours ago, elgenon said:

Sometimes I miss not having a wonderful woman, sometimes I feel fortunate to not have the headaches some men are connected with.

Couldn't have said it better - myself!!

I am (still) looking for the RIGHT woman (almost impossible around Pattaya??) - who would be willing and able to put-up with my ingrained habits - and not try to "change" me & my lifestyle ...into the Hubby-House-type.

[ThaiBunny]

3 minutes ago, Awinkl said:

Couldn't have said it better - myself!!

I am (still) looking for the RIGHT woman (almost impossible around Pattaya??) - who would be willing and able to put-up with my ingrained habits - and not try to "change" me & my lifestyle ...into the Hubby-House-type.

Such women do not exist - every woman believes she can "mould" the man she marries. Always better to rent

Edited July 13, 2019 by ThaiBunny

[madmen]

5 hours ago, NanLaew said:

Don't kid yourself.

 

But beyond the weak deflection, why does watching other couples perceived communication problems in public interest you so much that it's worth commenting about?

Duh read the OP , its relevant to the discussion especially because its so prolific here, lonely married men the worst combo. When Im in a restaurant I dont sit there staring at my feet but absorb my surroundings and seeing MOST couples playing with their phones or just staring into space . What did these men think would happen when marrying a low educated farm girl/bar girl? Thai men want nothing to do with them but farang will happily scoop the bottom of the barrel

 

Why is this such a delicate topic for you lol

 

RENT RENT RENT ????

 

Edited July 13, 2019 by madmen

[ThaiBunny]

1 minute ago, madmen said:

MOST couples playing with their phones or just staring into space . What did these men think would happen when marrying a low educated farm girl/bar girl

Got nothing to do with the quality of either. Go into a cafe or a restaurant almost anywhere in the world and most people are too busy on their phones to talk to the person opposite

[madmen]

3 minutes ago, ThaiBunny said:

Got nothing to do with the quality of either. Go into a cafe or a restaurant almost anywhere in the world and most people are too busy on their phones to talk to the person opposite

Simply not true. Its prolific here because of the communication problem and the age gap and having zero in common with a Thai Buddhist who are just not interested in any type of in depth discussion 

But they can be crazy sex when rented but marriage would quickly fix that issue ???? 

[StevieAus]

On 7/12/2019 at 9:43 AM, Dene16 said:

Thats why your always be lonely, Cheap charlie

Surely that depends on what he is receiving for the 1000 baht, that might be Farang price !

[watcharacters]

 

If you're lonely when alone, you're in the worst possible company.

[Tagged]

Always had a gf, but after every brake up, I have taken a brake to collect myself, and then start a new chapter. Learned early the best part of being together is the two first years, and from then, it all goes down. Get bored, and start looking at others, and believe they are so much better and more interesting. Thank god I am getting older, learned my lesson, that the gras i not greener on the other side, and now Im happy to stay wit one for the good and bad. There is no way I ever would choose to stay alone the rest of my life. I enjoy a female company to much, and feeling good to be taken care of, and take care. 

 

However, I never have been in for it for any price, it needs to be benefits, and thats goes for the other part as well. Both have to have something in return, and I am not talking about money, but helping each other to have a better life standing on 4 feet, not only two. 

 

We both have to adjust our egoes and desires to make it work. Enough said Give and take

Edited July 13, 2019 by Tagged

[Nemises]

Why do you think we're stuck with only the one?

Thailand, land of fooling around.

Buying...AND RENTING at the same time!? Not good, sad really.

Why buy if you’re going to fool around.