Uninvited people at wedding

[Orac]

If you buy in booze for both informal morning village event and formal evening keep the two lots seperate - the village managed to drink a whole days worth of drink by 10am at mine.

[1FinickyOne]

sounds like a village wedding,... nothing formal, food made in huge pots w/everyone helping out... everyone is welcome.... 

[AaronC76]

[jackdd]

On 8/27/2019 at 11:41 PM, megapix said:

I asked where those people will sit ? What they gonna eat ? She said that they have to find some space somewhere. And they will not eat or order something a la carte.

Don't believe her. Thais go to weddings for free food and alcohol.

Two things are nearly 100% certain:

Some of the invited guests will only come for the food. They will show up at the wedding when the food is served, and when they are done eating they will go back home.

If there are uninvited guests, they will eat and drink, this is just normal Thai culture.

 

I would not recommend to do a western style wedding in Thailand if the majority of guests are Thais, in this case just do a Thai style wedding, way less stress.

 

 

[Cake Monster]

As with any kind of Celebration in Thailand, holding any kind of a Party is an open invitation for all the "Ponces " from near and far to " Freeload " your Party.

Just tolerate the situation and enjoy the day, and hopefully there will be no trouble from the uninvited.

[DJ54]

Is it a village wedding.....relax and don’t think too much (that’s what they say) ...we bought cases of Thai whisky and casesand cases of

beer. Enough for two days.... checked the shop the night before. All paid all good,.

 

Everuone and anyone enjoyed gone by noon...

 

couole days went to one of the larger larger shops ...the guy said 

here’s your bill. Huh? More beer and whisky cases. Huh? I didn’t 

order he said papa....

 

have fun enjoy the day... make sure you stash some for you ..I did. 

[taninthai]

On 8/27/2019 at 11:41 PM, megapix said:

So Im getting married (non-formal ceremony) 

That’s the first line of the thread.

then turns into two ceremonies one in the morning and another in the evening in 5 star hotel......wow.

i just went down office and married my wife...that’s what I call non formal????.

 

[sunnyboy2018]

On 8/28/2019 at 12:34 AM, Beggar said:

Tell them you want to do a Moslem style wedding without booze and you will be almost alone. 

And he can have the first dance with the best man!

[Captain 776]

FI REALLY NEED TO WRITE THAT HANDBOOK.........of Do’s n Dont’s

 

Yesssss plan on the whole village and relatives from far n wide.........they dont just show up.......your soon to be wife and her Mom invited them.

And you will be paying for every bit of it.

Guaranteed.........you will get hit up at least 3 times........and it goes something like this........Huneeee this is my Auntie/Uncle........and he has this problem or that problem, do you think we can help them with XXX Thousand BHAT.

You will pay for several trips to get more whiskey and beer..........it wont be a 4 or 6 or even 8 hr event.............you will be lucky if it only lasts 24 hrs.

Dont even THINK OF not going along with the program.........it will turn ugly quick with new bride crying and her family very disappointed with you for causing them to lose face in front of the village and her relatives that are not really relatives........that is just what you were told.

Just grin and bear it.

The majority of the village will be looking at you, joking about you, and having many laughs at your expense.

They view you as Farang BUFF-A-RO........also known as ATM.

NEVER.......go to her village.......even for a weekend visit, let alone a wedding.

This is a BIG THING for the family when parents and her can parade you around as the goose who lays golden eggs.

Big feather in parents cap in the neighborhood when their daughter has Farang.

I am NOT degrading you........or being cynical..........you dont know and it happens to sooooooo many.

Even u just go to visit, they invite everyone and it turns into a non stop 2 day booze n food fest.

Sure,.......you will be <deleted>, but trust me when I say.........its an automatic beginning of the end if you say anything about the cost or u not want to pay/play anymore.

 

Best Wishes

[elgenon]

I would keep an eye on the presents.

 

I've gone into receptions in America, but just to look around and maybe dance.

[Jonmarleesco]

On 8/28/2019 at 12:06 AM, RichardColeman said:

 I get the feeling your chang bill will cost more than a ton of sticky rice

If it's just Chang. Thai whisky, anyone?

[Tonyt00]

Just be happy that people want to come to your wedding! 

[lemonjelly]

Once met an old English bloke, stumbled in on a local wedding party, marquee on side of street, he thought it was a food vendor setup, sat down ate loads of grub, didn’t click on until he tried to pay his bill and the locals managed to explain to him what was going on, they thought it was hilarious. The thai have a good sense of humor, try gate crashing a wedding in the UK, they’d go mental

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

 

[tabarin]

Our engagement added on at least 25K unexpected, all for strangers who came to get free booze, both the afternoon before and the next morning again.
This was a tiny engagement so better be prepared if they are drinkers over there.

In a place where little money changes hands, nothing much happens, you can be assured of attention when there is a party with food and booze.

[sotonowl]

You think that's bad. My missus is Thai but her parents where Chinese so all the Family are Chinese origin. When we go to eat out we always end up at one of them places with the revolving table. They all order fish, which I don't like, and I order my usual Chicken and Cashew nuts with egg fried rice. Well, I never get to eat it, it's gone before I can get the table moved round to me. They all smile and tell me to eat some fish, I don't like <deleted> fish.

I just smile, turn round and shout "Nong, beer Singha krup".

Don't worry mate, they'll sort it, when in Rome and all that, just take a chill pill and enjoy it. You've voiced your concerns, leave it at that.

[Thongkorn]

If you anit got a ticket , Your not coming In.

[30la]

 got married in 2003 and had the same information, the catering we chose had enough experience and organized everything.
We have invited 250 people, about 500 seats available, about 450 people arrived.
No problem the price had been fixed (38,000 Baht), music dancing food and drinks.
Unforgettable!

[thaibeachlovers]

You don't have to have a party- I didn't. The party is nothing to do with being married, which is done at an office.

 

Otherwise, you have no say, other than paying whatever YOU decide it's worth.

Once the money YOU provide is gone it's the Thai family that has to cover the difference, if they choose to do so.

If you just pay and pay they will assume that you will do so in every situation in the future.

Time to man up and say how much you will contribute and that's an end to it, or be a doormat and an ATM.

 

I assume you will be giving a dowry, so hope you know that you can negotiate to get it back after. You don't have to buy the bride any more.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎8‎/‎30‎/‎2019 at 4:03 AM, taninthai said:

That’s the first line of the thread.

then turns into two ceremonies one in the morning and another in the evening in 5 star hotel......wow.

i just went down office and married my wife...that’s what I call non formal????.

 

Yes, that's the best way to do it. I went to the marriage at the amphur on the back of her m'bike, dress casual, no witnesses- just the office staff. Someone took a photo on my camera. Done and dusted.

Family- hundreds of miles away, and if I'd had sense that would have been where they stayed for the entire duration of my marriage.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎9‎/‎1‎/‎2019 at 6:30 AM, sotonowl said:

You think that's bad. My missus is Thai but her parents where Chinese so all the Family are Chinese origin. When we go to eat out we always end up at one of them places with the revolving table. They all order fish, which I don't like, and I order my usual Chicken and Cashew nuts with egg fried rice. Well, I never get to eat it, it's gone before I can get the table moved round to me. They all smile and tell me to eat some fish, I don't like <deleted> fish.

I just smile, turn round and shout "Nong, beer Singha krup".

Don't worry mate, they'll sort it, when in Rome and all that, just take a chill pill and enjoy it. You've voiced your concerns, leave it at that.

The only way to win is just never ever go to the village. Either live far enough away that they won't visit or have a small place they can't stay at.

Happiness in a Thai/ farang marriage is not having the family around.

If the beloved insists, take it as a warning sign and run.

I wish someone had told me this good advice before I made the biggest mistake of my life and married someone with a toxic family.

[megapix]

Update for people that are interested:

 

So few more people showed up. It was less than I expected, so that was good. We had extra 30 seats and about 2/3 were occupied. Some of those people were my wife's classmates and their partners and some from her family. Whole wedding was amazing and I really enjoyed it.

[Moonlover]

On 8/27/2019 at 11:41 PM, megapix said:

I just cannot imagine that someone not invited will appear in my wedding and I don't have a space or food for them. I mean it is not my problem, but anyway it would bother me.

Correct. It is not your problem so stop worrying about it! Don't compare The Thai way of doing things with your 'western ways'. It's simply not worth the effort.