For the middle aged and up here did you make your friends in Thailand?

[sidjameson]

When your young making friends seems easy. Pass a certain age its harder. Just curious how successful TV members have been with their social life.

[mickylongtime]

Hello

When I first came to Thailand I saw an advert for a expat club in pattaya they meet up at the macure Hotel on a Friday morning have made many many friends there, then I joined the local gym and again made friends, really its up to you to be open and willing to mix in and join in, but one thing I hate is the wingers who complain about everything, keep with positive people, there are two expats clubs in pattaya, one in Chang mai if I remember correctly anybody know of any more in Thailand?? 

[mstevens]

While I have known my friends in my own country longer than I have known my friends in Thailand, I find the friendships back home to be more genuine. You have more in common with people back home and they know and like the real you. In Thailand, I felt many friendships were based around bar life and were more like drinking buddies. Friendships in Thailand for me did not have the same "strength" that friendships at home did.

 

Over time I came to realise that with many friends in Thailand it was Thailand that what we had in common, and not all that much else. When the conversation moved beyond the latest visa change or where had the best happy hour or where was showing the late kickoff Premier League matches etc there wasn't much left in common. It wasn't that we fell out, more that many of the friendships I had in Thailand just sort of petered out.

[RichardColeman]

I am 55, and quite a shy, reserved person, always have been and probably always will. I had a small group of friends in the UK - not exactly close - but chums from school and growing up, etc.

 

I came to live in Thailand as my wife lives here.

 

I found once the nerves of meeting the group of world wide people around the tables in the nearby pool bar were over, I felt quite comfortable with them - even if one seems to drone on about the best watch and how far under the sea you can use it every 30  minutes ! 

 

I think the biggest part of making friends is initial nerves. After that everything else seems to flow - though integration in their social lives and events pretty much how far you want to go - for me I am happy just chatting by the pool bar in the evening. I am sure I could go play golf, go to the bar with them or go out walking with them, but be honest , I prefer the wife's company most of the time

 

 

 

 

[Lacessit]

I have a couple of friends here. A couple of friends I stay in contact with back in Australia. My Thai GF has friends everywhere, it's her gift. I don't know if I would want that, because it baffles me how she keeps track of them all.

[richard_smith237]

Having lived over half of my life in Thailand I have very close friends from both Thailand and the UK.

 

Close friends in the UK are those I was at school and Uni with in the UK and whom I see regularly on my biannual visits to the UK, keeping in touch and maintaining friendships takes mutual effort, I'm glad the majority of my friends make the same effort as I do. 

 

I also have a number of close friends in Thailand, they are those who I've met while here and from a mixture of Western countries and Thailand. One of my Closest friends is a Thai guy I've known for about 20 years. I see all of my close friends quite regularly.

 

I also have plenty of acquaintances I've know for a number of years, closer friendship and trust is developing to the point I would all some of them friends. 

 

I find it very easy to make acquaintances, I find it easy to talk with different people providing they are not tools, trust and friendship takes much longer to develop - Genuine friendships takes time. 

[IvorLott]

As Richard above, I too am a 'long term' expat having been blessed to have spent most of my working life in Thailand (punctuated with spells back in the UK).

Over the years I've made many good friends (both Thai and non-Thai), some of whom lasted in Thailand and still visit to this day. Many more though have fallen by the wayside. They were around for a few years, then for whatever reason, they went home, felt like they had 'done' their time in Thailand. I occasionally stumble across an 'old face' from back in the mists of time. One thing they all have in common is that they are all incredibly fond of their time in Thailand. 

A good social life in Thailand is an easy thing to achieve, especially if you are not a weirdo, scrounger, braggart, bullsh*tter or prat in general you should be fine.

[sunnyboy2018]

The older we get the more difficult it can be to make friends.  I still have friends in the UK but as an expat i find i disagree with their politics.  They tend to be pro remain, pro immigration,  pro extinction rebellion. The expats tend to be pro brexit, anti immigration and despise the extinction rebellion scum. At home in the UK i do not discuss Islam for example. My friends hardly see how much the UK has changed for the worst because it is gradual but after 20 years away I really notice how <deleted> the UK is to to demographic and cultural changes. So I discuss nothing of importance to me. At least here my fellow expats agree with my world view. But what is a friend?

[OneMoreFarang]

I think friendships takes time. And it can't be forced or accelerated.

I have a couple of friends in Thailand and with all of them it took years to build the friendship. And I am pretty sure it would not have been possible to see them at the beginning more often and accelerate that process.

It seems in Thailand, and maybe in other places as well, there are some people which initially seem alright but after a while it becomes obvious that they don't intend to be friendly. Some are crooks, some or just idiots.

[Nyezhov]

Nobody likes me and I dont care ????

 

[thaibeachlovers]

I moved to LOS in my 60s ( previously just holidays ).

I MADE no friends in LOS, but I spent a lot of time in the village where English was hard to come by or in Lamphun where few farangs live. I didn't meet any Thai men I wanted to be friends with, and my female "friends" were no longer after I got engaged.

 

However, I was quite happy living my life with just my wife, till I wasn't. 

I thought she was a friend, but sadly she wasn't.

 

Looking back, the people that have done me the worst were those that I loved the most and should have been better to me. A couple of real backstabbers were my "friends" for 30 years.

 

Perhaps I just made friends with the wrong people.

 

Far as friends back home go, I live many hours drive from most of them ( So far away, Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore It would be so fine to see your face at my door- Carole King ) so I never see them now, and many I just lost touch with over the many years travelling.

[Beggar]

Do I have friends here? 

 

I know people that always want to tell me what kind of sex they had last night with a lady from a bar. 

I know people that ask me to go out with them and drink all night because they don't want to get drunken alone. 

I know people that want to sit the whole day in my condo and expect me to entertain them until the bars open.

I know people who come with all their computer problems to me and expect immediate help even if I don't have time. 

I know people who ask me sometimes if I could lend them some money.

I know people....

[Fex Bluse]

Made a small number of friends over the decades - all non-Thais. 

 

Most other acquaintances outlived their purpose once people left Thailand or moved within Thailand. 

 

Expats from different countries are often quite different of course. 

 

I had a German friend who returned to Germany a few years ago. He didn't quite like some of my other social group who were from Norway and Sweden. A couple Brit friends seemed to dislike everyone. 

 

They were all older and relatively inflexible to adjust to new people. 

[Pilotman]

14 minutes ago, Beggar said:

Do I have friends here? 

 

I know people that always want to tell me what kind of sex they had last night with a lady from a bar. 

I know people that ask me to go out with them and drink all night because they don't want to get drunken alone. 

I know people that want to sit the whole day in my condo and expect me to entertain them until the bars open.

I know people who come with all their computer problems to me and expect immediate help even if I don't have time. 

I know people who ask me sometimes if I could lend them some money.

I know people....

yep, that's 'friends' for you.  You are always better off with a dog or a sociable cat. 

[Moonlover]

I'm a country dweller and prefer it that way. And I'm also a bit of a reclusive person. There are a few fellow falangs of varying nationalities in the neighbourhood with whom I keep casual contact with but not too much

 

One common factor with all of them is that they seem to want a 'drinking partner', especially my closest one, a German. I drink very little, generally only one beer per day, so I tend to be a little bit aloof. Not judgmentally so, it's their life, but it doesn't suit me at all.

 

 

[VocalNeal]

When I came here (49) I was a Hasher before i arrived. Joined in here and have lots of mates. I recommend it for making friends. There are rude people/shy people/polite people all-sorts just ignore the ones you don't like. Depends on where you are as to core demographics. Pattaya is different from Bangkok is different from Hua Hin is difference from Chiang Mai is different from Chiang Rai is different from Korat, Songkla, Koh Samui etc.. But basically the people are mostly the same.

 

Worth a try.

Edited October 18, 2019 by VocalNeal

[canuckamuck]

People always mistake friendship for me wanting to hang out with them and do stuff. That's why I live in the sticks in a foreign country. They rarely make the effort to come and find me. And if they do I am very impressed and they don't stay long. So it's win win.

Don't get me wrong, when I meet them in the world, I am super happy to see them, happy to have a meal and a conversation. But then I am also happy to go home without acquiring any new obligations.

I got about a 3 hour time limit for socialization. 

[Denim]

I am anti social. Never drink during the day and never needed people to talk at so hanging around chewing the cud with other falangs has no appeal.

[Orton Rd]

Don't know anyone here, even the neighbors do not talk, they just stare if I say hello

[sir charles IV]

In my case I have a few Thai and non-Thai friends through work, wife’s friends and neighbors. No issues. Can’t brag like most of you about pup friends and endless mouthwatering stories of sexual encounters. I want my boy tools intact!


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, Nyezhov said:

Nobody likes me and I dont care ????

 

I don't like anybody, and I don't care either.

(outside immediate family)

I did have a few friends, but they died, and I can't be bothered any more.

Edited October 18, 2019 by BritManToo

[GarryP]

Quite a few acquaintances but no longer any real friends here. I used to have some good friends in Thailand, but they all moved on. For many foreigners Thailand is just a pit stop on the highway of life. So I really can't be bothered investing the time in developing true friendships any more as in most cases those people won't be here in 3 or 4 years and I would just have to start again.      

[giddyup]

Friends I'd known for many years (45) turned out to be snakes in the grass, since then haven't tried to make new ones, don't need any more disappointments.

[NoshowJones]

10 hours ago, mstevens said:

While I have known my friends in my own country longer than I have known my friends in Thailand, I find the friendships back home to be more genuine. You have more in common with people back home and they know and like the real you. In Thailand, I felt many friendships were based around bar life and were more like drinking buddies. Friendships in Thailand for me did not have the same "strength" that friendships at home did.

 

Over time I came to realise that with many friends in Thailand it was Thailand that what we had in common, and not all that much else. When the conversation moved beyond the latest visa change or where had the best happy hour or where was showing the late kickoff Premier League matches etc there wasn't much left in common. It wasn't that we fell out, more that many of the friendships I had in Thailand just sort of petered out.

I have a friend here in Thailand who is a real genuine friend and better than anyone back in Scotland, every guy who I thought was a real friend was more interested in alcohol than he was in me. It seemed that if you would not drink with them they just weren't interested.

[CGW]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I did have a few friends, but they died, and I can't be bothered any more.

I can relate to that! I have two "close" friends left in Thailand that I have known over 25 years, others that I had known a lot longer have passed! something I/we never planned on for our retirements! 

[thaibeachlovers]

3 hours ago, Pilotman said:

yep, that's 'friends' for you.  You are always better off with a dog or a sociable cat. 

If you want unconditional love get a dog, if you want a precious spoiled animal that only hangs around to get fed, get a cat.

Also dogs don't torture helpless birds before killing them.

[OneMoreFarang]

4 hours ago, Beggar said:

Do I have friends here? 

 

I know people that always want to tell me what kind of sex they had last night with a lady from a bar. 

I know people that ask me to go out with them and drink all night because they don't want to get drunken alone. 

I know people that want to sit the whole day in my condo and expect me to entertain them until the bars open.

I know people who come with all their computer problems to me and expect immediate help even if I don't have time. 

I know people who ask me sometimes if I could lend them some money.

I know people....

You definitely spend too much time with the wrong people.

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, Denim said:

I am anti social. Never drink during the day and never needed people to talk at so hanging around chewing the cud with other falangs has no appeal.

The best times I have had with other people are just hanging around talking. None of us drink so that's not a factor.

Saddest part of my life now is that they have all moved elsewhere, or developed new interests I'm not into. So it's just as well I'm used to being on my own.

 

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, giddyup said:

Friends I'd known for many years (45) turned out to be snakes in the grass, since then haven't tried to make new ones, don't need any more disappointments.

Was it something they said about your beloved gf/wife?

[Pilotman]

2 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

If you want unconditional love get a dog, if you want a precious spoiled animal that only hangs around to get fed, get a cat.

Also dogs don't torture helpless birds before killing them.

I have two dogs, one 12 months old the other 3 months and an 12 year old cat.  I wouldn't trade any one for another.  They are all sociable, loving and great companions, for us and for each other. My cat hasn't caught a bird in her life, she tries, but fails. In any event, I would not criticise any animal that is just following its innate instinct.   As for many so called human 'friends', in ones' life, well good luck with them.