Marrying a Thai woman who has no money or resource

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

Unlike some expats I do happen to like the woman I married, she is a nice person (most of the time) she is quite clever, doesn't have any vices and is a good mother, but supporting her year after year is now becoming a massive burden for me. Yes she can go to work but she aint gonna earn much money is she (and she has tried a few things already) and I would then most likely to be asked to play Dad to our son and I'm not the house husband type. I've laid my bed, but would never do it again..

 

Genuine advice for any newbies here, do NOT marry a woman with no money, just don't do it, it is like supporting a child and you will be burdened down for years, if not forever.

 

KKJ

Edited October 22, 2019 by Khon Kaen Jeff

[blackcab]

I'm going to move this discussion to the Pub.

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

Just now, blackcab said:

I'm going to move this discussion to the Pub.

I'm off to the pub!

[madmen]

What's the age difference? 30 years+ is a trade off, basically like a new car its paid monthly.

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

1 minute ago, madmen said:

What's the age difference? 30 years+ is a trade off, basically like a new car its paid monthly.

12 years but we have kids too..

 

2 days ago she announces we need a new vaccum cleaner = 5k

Today the tyre on the car blew up = 5k

 

This is just out the blue stuff..

Edited October 22, 2019 by Khon Kaen Jeff

[SteveK]

6 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

2 days ago she announces we need a new vaccum cleaner = 5k

Today the tyre on the car blew up = 5k

 

That could happen anywhere, not just in Thailand after marrying a penniless Thai lady.

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

Just now, SteveK said:

That could happen anywhere, not just in Thailand after marrying a penniless Thai lady.

Ok true enough, but the initial OP stands..

[thequietman]

8 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

2 days ago she announces we need a new vaccum cleaner = 5k

Today the tyre on the car blew up = 5k

Vaccum cleaner 2000 baht.

Tyre 5000 ! What's she driving, a tractor?

[BritManToo]

Why would a woman who had money or resources want me ????????????

Can't think of one reason, guess I'll have to stick with desperate, lazy 3rd world single moms.

Edited October 22, 2019 by BritManToo

[RichardColeman]

I'd much rather marry a poor girl that would help out by working - even if only for 10-15,000 a month - if we suddenly had financial issues, than a rich one that would say 'no way am I getting my nails and hair dirty'.

 

You say she tried a few things already ? Like what ? Why'd she give them up ? Too much like hard work or prefer sitting at home watching Thai soap ? 

 

My wife saves all the 7/11 stamps, buys the BOGOFs like crazy and went out to work when I had issues with my tenants in the UK. 

 

Poor does not always mean a burden, a bad woman is a burden

 

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

Just now, thequietman said:

Vaccum cleaner 2000 baht.

Tyre 5000 ! What's she driving, a tractor?

This is the other thing nothing she gets is cheap..the vaccum was indeed 5k it is a top end samsung one..as for the tyre I'm not in the vicinity but she doesn't lie about these things, if she says it's 5k then it's 5k maybe she was ripped off, we have a new fortuner..

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

Just now, RichardColeman said:

I'd much rather marry a poor girl that would help out by working - even if only for 10-15,000 a month - if we suddenly had financial issues, than a rich one that would say 'no way am I getting my nails and hair dirty'.

 

You say she tried a few things already ? Like what ? Why'd she give them up ? Too much like hard work or prefer sitting at home watching Thai soap ? 

 

My wife saves all the 7/11 stamps, buys the BOGOFs like crazy and went out to work when I had issues with my tenants in the UK. 

 

Poor does not always mean a burden, a bad woman is a burden

 

She tried a couple of sales jobs..yea probably too much hard work but in fairness she did have a good crack at them both

[cornishcarlos]

1 minute ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

if she says it's 5k then it's 5k maybe she was ripped off, we have a new fortuner..

 

She would be right too... Anything from 4-8k for good tyres that size...

[transam]

There was a time, which was not far back, when most were struggling to live day to day in farangland. Are you complaining now because your mum provided well for you and so you never experienced watching the pennies...?

[thequietman]

1 minute ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

This is the other thing nothing she gets is cheap..the vaccum was indeed 5k it is a top end samsung one..as for the tyre I'm not in the vicinity but she doesn't lie about these things, if she says it's 5k then it's 5k maybe she was ripped off, we have a new fortuner..

U have a Fortuner and you're complaining about supporting the wife. LOL

 

 

Here's an idea, buy something cheaper next time. That Fortuner didn't carry your child for 9 months. Nor did it raise your kid and put up with your shee ight. Your wife sounds like a reasonable person. The Samsung won't break down in a year and so will pay for itself. 

[rumak]

21 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

I've laid my bed, but would never do it again..

hindsight is 20/20 .    there is always a very apt saying for almost everything in life.

 

but guys who came here when young (ish) and got involved with a wife/children would probably do it

again if the clock was turned back.   Love and hormones will often overshadow common sense.

I got married fairly young (36)  and after a few years returned to home country (with family) to earn

some more money.   Then came back to settle down

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

Just now, thequietman said:

U have a Fortuner and you're complaining about supporting the wife. LOL

 

 

Here's an idea, buy something cheaper next time. That Fortuner didn't carry your child for 9 months. Nor did it raise your kid and put up with your shee ight. Your wife sounds like a reasonable person. The Samsung won't break down in a year and so will pay for itself. 

She is reasonable..she was the one who wanted the nice flashy car, I don't care about cars..

[rumak]

8 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Why would a woman who had money or resources want me ????????????

Can't think of one reason, guess I'll have to stick with desperate, lazy 3rd world single moms.

a rare post of his that I would have to agree with..

[PatOngo]

37 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

supporting her year after year

That's why they like to marry farangs! Ask her what her country does for her!

Edited October 22, 2019 by PatOngo

[Berkshire]

32 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

Unlike some expats I do happen to like the woman I married, she is a nice person (most of the time) she is quite clever, doesn't have any vices and is a good mother, but supporting her year after year is now becoming a massive burden for me.

If she's a good mother and not a drunk and/or cheat, consider yourself lucky.  There's always going to be a financial burden raising a family and it's not just about your wife.  Wait until your child starts school.  Besides, he who controls the money controls everything.  Unless you decide to relinquish that power. 

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

1 minute ago, Berkshire said:

If she's a good mother and not a drunk and/or cheat, consider yourself lucky.  There's always going to be a financial burden raising a family and it's not just about your wife.  Wait until your child starts school.  Besides, he who controls the money controls everything.  Unless you decide to relinquish that power. 

Yes thanks mate, reading that has helped. The lad is 9 been at a (private) school for 6 years..have a younger girl too.

[OneMoreFarang]

11 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

She is reasonable..she was the one who wanted the nice flashy car, I don't care about cars..

It seems you pay for everything she wants.

Does she ask you from time to time if you agree how your money is spent?

Or do you dare to make suggestions yourself for what you want to spend your money?

[PatOngo]

4 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

Besides, he who controls the money controls everything. 

That is the key!

[NancyL]

Hey guys, there was a time in the western world when the norm was for a woman, no matter how well educated or well-paying her job, was expected to quit her career and become Susie homemaker upon marriage.  There were rules against married women continuing their jobs as stewardesses, teachers, nurses, etc.  The husband was expected to be the bread-winner and the wife was expected to raise the children and keep a neat home.  I hear many western guys here lamenting how western women no longer follow this norm and aren't "feminine" like Thai women.  

 

Sounds like this is what the OP's wife is doing.  He's not complaining about her constantly asking for money for her extended family, is he?  He's complaining about perfectly reasonable household expenses.  It's time for him to be a "real man" and live up to his responsibilities.  He knew what he was in for when he got married. 

[rumak]

i'm waiting for the oft used  Batman and Robin  cartoon..............

[FritsSikkink]

35 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

12 years but we have kids too..

 

2 days ago she announces we need a new vaccum cleaner = 5k

Today the tyre on the car blew up = 5k

 

This is just out the blue stuff..

can get a tire for half the price

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

6 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It seems you pay for everything she wants.

Does she ask you from time to time if you agree how your money is spent?

Or do you dare to make suggestions yourself for what you want to spend your money?

Bit of both, both yes I am too soft.

[at15]

The problem is most of these Thai people's obsession with money. A lot of people do not realize how much these people will risk and sacrifice to portray an image of wealth. very low IQ thinking. They could have zero money and still want everything in their life to be hi-so

Edited October 22, 2019 by at15

[BobbyL]

Unless someone is rich, physically / mentally incapable of working, raising a newborn etc, then the people who just choose not to work and then try and sponge off someone else are the epitome of lazy. 

 

Just imagine the people around the world that would do anything for a chance to be able to work and even earn a low salary.

 

If your kids are of school age I would be telling her to get out and start earning her part in your relationship. We aren't living in 1910.

[Tayaout]

Not long ago it was normal for men to support their family and the women to take care of the children and the housekeeping. I have no issue with this and even enjoy it. I basically have nothing to do except managing the familly income. 

 

If you want independent women then it comes with trade-off. If she has time maybe she will want children but you will need to help. You will be expected to clean the dish, vaccum the floor and probably cook Saturday diner if you want your once a week/month sexy time. There is plenty of these relation available in developed countries.