how do you (politely) avoid people?

[BananaBandit]

5 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

Is the OP really so constantly bombarded with social overtures that he needs to seek help about how to field them all? Standoffish behavior from fellow foreigners has become so in vogue here its part of the social landscape. I honestly question how often the OP actually encounters such problems.

My OP said "sometimes I encounter other farlangs..."     The "constantly bombarded" part is your own invention, which you then use as a springboard to serenade us with your sociology and psychology expertise.

 

The farlang encounters are an occasional thing. But I still seek advice on how to deal with it. 
 

5 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

But let's get a couple of things straight, people. This standoffishness is almost always done out of pretension and fear of rejection

In the future, I might come to terms with my shortcomings and blossom into back-slapping social butterfly. For now, I simply want to learn how to politely avoid. 

Edited February 25, 2020 by BananaBandit

[Iron Tongue]

Simple.  Blame it on the wife/girlfriend! 

 

Say something like "Don't be offended, but my wife doesn't like to go out much."  Then, even if you still get an invite, just tell them " Sorry, but my wife isn't feeling well! "

[Airalee]

55 minutes ago, Nyezhov said:

Only the truly psychotic would want to hang with me more than once

????

[BananaBandit]

22 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Wear earphones more

You know, that might work in a lot of cases. Earphones with no music turned on. Simple but quite likely effective. 
 

 

23 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Tell them you're broke and can't afford to eat/drink out.

I do tend to emphasize that I don't have much money. I also try to stress that I'm "no fun," but that part sometimes slips my mind. Even if I was rich, I don't drink and most restaurants annoy me. Besides, my Isaan lady can cook like you read about. 

[Metropolitian]

Give them a link to TVF and tell them to meet up there.

[Nyezhov]

1 hour ago, BananaBandit said:

I'm looking for constructive suggestions about how to politely avoid exchanging contact info

Scream <deleted> YOU, LEAVE ME ALONE, and slap yourself in the face. Works wonders.

Edited February 25, 2020 by Nyezhov

[Gecko123]

47 minutes ago, BananaBandit said:

My OP said "sometimes I encounter other farlangs..."     The "constantly bombarded" part is your own invention, which you then use as a springboard to serenade us with your sociology and psychology expertise.

 

The farlang encounters are an occasional thing. But I still seek advice on how to deal with it. 
 

In the future, I might come to terms with my shortcomings and blossom into back-slapping social butterfly. For now, I simply want to learn how to politely avoid. 

After reading some of your responses on this thread, I am left wondering what it was that attracted you to Thailand. Was it the temples? I mean, jeez guy, Thais are known for being sociable, approachable, and engaging. Your disinterest in social engagement is gonna stick out like a sore thumb with Thais. What does your wife/girlfriend make of your social disposition? 

 

Whether you are aware of it or not your OP perpetuates a social media mindset among expats that other expats in Thailand are best to be avoided. I think you underappreciate that the observations I shared about how language barriers and how cultural differences about making relationship commitments affect social relationships - not only between foreigners and Thais but with other foreigners - were gained after years of reflection on this issue and intended to help not just you but others who struggle with these issues.

 

Edited February 25, 2020 by Gecko123

[BritManToo]

6 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Thais are known for being sociable, approachable, and engaging.

Thai ladies were widely known for being readily available for a modest price.

Which is the only reason I was ever here.

 

Edited February 25, 2020 by BritManToo

[shadowofacloud]

1 hour ago, BananaBandit said:

Just to make it even more clear, I'm not at a bar chatting it up with anyone. I'm sitting at a 7-11 coffee table reading a book, working out at a park, or roaming through a Thai-style market. Very much minding my own business -- when I get ambushed by a friendly farlang.

 

Srsly? Never, ever happened to me. Sometimes, when I am in a local market or another place, which is very seldom frequented by foreigners, I will bump into one, but all I'll get is a surprised stare - as in "What?! I am not the only foreigner is this country?"

 

Maybe you have a super friendly face, charisma, a generally good vibe and people just like to be around you. In such case being an introvert is definitely an issue. ????

[cdemundo]

14 hours ago, Airalee said:

Ask them if they are familiar with bitcoin.

Or ask them if they have accepted Jesus as their personal saviour.

[ehs818]

How about just saying, "No thanks, I don't like to go out much".

[justin case]

say you are a SWINGER ????

[transam]

A silent but deadly fart normally works....????.................????

[LukKrueng]

17 hours ago, BananaBandit said:

i'm an introvert with no wish or ability to change.

 

sometimes i encounter other farlangs who are friendly and express interest in hanging out again (in one case, the friendly farlang's thai wife suggested we all exchange contact info).

 

how does a street-smart introvert handle this type of situation?

 

the best i can think of is saying:   "I'm a loner. I either spend time with my old lady or wander around on my own."

 

is that good enough?   

How old are you and how have you dealt with these situations until now?

[PatOngo]

7 hours ago, UbonThani said:

Lots of people like Trump.

Almost pitiable!

[malibukid]

act crazy

[Krataiboy]

Just tell 'em Tommy Robinson is your hero.

[metempsychotic]

Act like an adult and be honest with them.

[DannyCarlton]

10 minutes ago, emptypockets said:

Yes, we Aussies don't tolerate snobs.

Exactly why most of my mates are Aussies in Pattaya. Kindred spirits.

 

 

Edited February 25, 2020 by DannyCarlton

[Gracas]

Within the first 10 seconds of them approaching you tell them you have a business idea and are looking for investors. Whatever they do after that should be win win for you.

[Matzzon]

19 hours ago, CharlieH said:

How about,

"I hate technology, and rarely use it, so I dont have any contact info, I'm off grid!"????

but dont then get your phone out !????

Better to turn the sound off. If someone calls you one time a year, that would be the time. 

[BananaBandit]

4 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

What does your wife/girlfriend make of your social disposition? 

She thinks I'm the strangest person she's ever met. And a miserable cheapskate ( I like spending money less than bumping into farlang ). With SEA women, I'm a bit of a "lotus eater" and I suspect she finds me sexually addictive. In case it helps clarify things, I also assist with the cooking and washing of dishes.

 

4 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

Whether you are aware of it or not your OP perpetuates a social media mindset among expats that other expats in Thailand are best to be avoided.

I'm not trying to say that most farlang in Thailand are bad people.  For what it's worth, it seems the bottom of the farlang gene pool tends to gravitate towards Phnom Penh.  

 

4 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

I think you underappreciate that the observations I shared about how language barriers and how cultural differences about making relationship commitments affect social relationships...

 Underappreciate it?  I have no clue what it means!

 

I just want to learn a few little tricks or one-liners to avoid friendly farlang.  Some British guy suggested headphones. That might work. A few of the other suggestions are bit out there. But I'm still listening. 

 

4 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

years of reflection on this issue

It may come across as hypocritical, but I think you're spending a bit too much time by yourself. 

Edited February 25, 2020 by BananaBandit

[Jane Dough]

I always used to give my address as Sukhumvit Soi 37.

 

There isn't one.

 

Rooster

[soalbundy]

I don't have to, they avoid me.

[seancbk]

20 hours ago, Saraburi121 said:

Keep an open mind, having a few friends is good.

 
Knowing a few hundred people is even better.   

[Andyfez]

I'm sorry, a ladyboy stole my phone

last night.

[BananaBandit]

5 hours ago, LukKrueng said:

how have you dealt with these situations until now?

In my home country, nobody wanted to speak to me. 

 

It wasn't until I came out here that this became an issue. 

[iLuvThai]

People come up to me and say, do people really come up to you? (Emo Philips)

 

I don't have this issue maybe I need a new brand of soap or mouthwash. All kinding aside I have one friend and that's fine by me. The word friend I think is over used. I have a few aquaintances but I wouldn't call them my friends. I just enjoy the company of my wife. I guess I spent to many years alone in the semi talking to myself, at least I was having awesome conversations. ????????

[NightSky]

Start an internet home business, you’ll spend all your time staring at the pc with no time for anything else.

[ChrisKC]

On 2/24/2020 at 8:59 PM, ratcatcher said:

If I were you, I would simply say, "I'm a miserable bustard who prefers his own company, P off". 

What would you say if you were not being polite?