Genuine friendships in Thailand.

[VocalNeal]

4 minutes ago, rickudon said:

I do not need to see my friends every day, once a week is sufficient.

My best friend about every 5 years! 

 

I always thank him for driving me around and he just says "you'd do the same for me"

[Zikomat]

16 hours ago, Yinn said:

 

Hmmmm. 

 

 

The OP about have no friends. 

 

I advice, 1) speak Thai 2) not marry sex worker 3) not complain all the time (we are the land of smile, fun, our culture)

 

Some guys will be sensitive I say that. But is true. I give example of @villagefarang  Very happy positive guy. 1,2,3 easy.

Thai man can be friend if you good guy. 

 

Not troll, no personal insult. Just say true. 

Maybe some not like hear about true. 

 

Can improve your life, be happy. We live short time, then be dust forever. Up to you. Freind is good for your life. Fun, happy, enjoy, dance, sing.

 

Irony. I advice not complain (3). And 3 guys then complain about me. Advice learn thai (1) and tell me all thai should learn English. 

 

Good luck with find freinds.

love you

Yinn

POTY

Does that villagefarang guy pay you for promoting him? 

 

 

Edited April 21, 2020 by Zikomat

[rickudon]

14 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

These aren't friends.

Friends are people you want to see for hours every day.

It's fairly common in these times of superficial relationships to confuse friends with acquaintances.

I have a wife and a daughter in Thailand. a son and daughter in UK to talk to, and work on my fishponds and garden. Do not have more time available. Pity there are only 24 hours in a day. Only online now as too hot today.

[transam]

3 minutes ago, Zikomat said:

Does that villagefarang guy pay you for promoting him? 

 

 

Nooooo, think it's something to do with post "likes"......????

[Zikomat]

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I've never found any Thais worth making friends with, no point in learning Thai, it just wasted my time.

A greedy, superficial and poorly educated bunch, even the degree holders would have had problems graduating high school in the west.

 

Sure, spend 5 years learning Thai so you can speak with a prudish (newly unemployed) hotel receptionist who thinks a 'hello kitty' themed bedroom, piled high with soft toys, and posting photos of her dinner on Facebook are the height of sophistication.

 

You are spot on, again. Important to remember that Thai language has nothing in common with the European languages and one can learn 5 European languages (like French, German etc) with the same amount of time and effort he can learn some basic Thai. 

 

Edited April 21, 2020 by Zikomat

[19DL86]

3 hours ago, keithkarmann said:

Yes it is very difficult to make good friends in Thailand but it is not easy in any Country. It is more difficult as you get older as you become less tolerant of other peoples stupidity. I was lucky when I came to Thailand in 2011 after the death of my English wife. I met the most beautiful Thai girl and although it did not work with her, through her I met a guy about 10 years older than me from Liverpool. He was married to my girls sister. My relationship with the girl ended after about a year but my frienship turned into one of the best friends I have ever had and lasted about six years until he died exactly two years ago. I am now almost 69 years old and I do not expect another best friend relationship to happen like that.

Thats a bitter sweet story indeed and I hope that you're wrong Keith and that you find a new friend, and you're here with us for many years to come.  You sound a very nice decent man so this should be easy I hope. Cheers.

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, nobodysfriend said:

who still remember the good times they had when they were young ... but the times have changed

Disagree,

Married a cold and heartless Brit schoolteacher when I was 22, and had zero good times until she divorced me 30 years later.

My good times started aged 52 as a free and adventurous single male in Thailand.

Then ensued 10 years of booze, drugs and unsuitable women ............

[Daveyh]

True friendships just don't exist here in Thailand for Farangs living here. At best you have a group of guys with similar interests, but I've yet to find anyone that has found a true friend here. Those that do have real mates here knew each other whilst working in their home country or abroad together & ended up living in Thailand. Others have taken up true friendships abroad on contracts whilst living here as a base, hence became friends when they settled here. I've been here nearly twenty years & everyone I know are acquaintances, but not people I'd rely on for anything. Sadly, the life here is not a "family thing", mostly we are misfits from around the world, retired & living out their days. It's also sad to note that Thai friendships are also hard to come by, perhaps it's the close knit family thing or indeed the xenophobic fear of foreigners. Whatever, living here is brilliant & I never get tired of it. May it long continue even though the baht has taken it's toll of many of us ....... fact.  

[villagefarang]

24 minutes ago, Zikomat said:

Does that villagefarang guy pay you for promoting him? 

 

 

No

[Thingamabob]

I'm a Brit. I had 2 very good farang friends here for many years, an Aussie and an American, sadly both now dead. I have 1 very good Thai friend, and for 35 years one very good, very lovely Thai wife. I count my blessings.

[Yinn]

48 minutes ago, Zikomat said:

Does that villagefarang guy pay you for promoting him? 

 

 

Guys like Villagefarang not need pay for freind/wife. He not start thread about he can make freind.

 

That the point of what i say. 

 

Also I not want to be freind with people who lie about themself. Eg. Someone who claim they speak Thai. And they can not. Obvious. 

 

If you want to have a lot of freind same me and Villagefarang you must not lie about yourself. Better just be yourself.

 

can not buy love, can not buy freind same.

 

Good luck, everyone, listen to Yinn advice, can have many freind! Same Yinn!

[Yinn]

39 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Disagree,

Married a cold and heartless Brit schoolteacher when I was 22, and had zero good times until she divorced me 30 years later.

My good times started aged 52 as a free and adventurous single male in Thailand.

Then ensued 10 years of booze, drugs and unsuitable women ............

You talk about her so much. You still miss her right?

[WineOh]

2 minutes ago, Yinn said:

. 

 

If you want to have a lot of freind same me and Villagefarang you must not lie about yourself. Better just be yourself.

 

Let me know when you guys are hanging out next. Would love to tag along and be in your gang ????

[Odysseus123]

50 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Disagree,

Married a cold and heartless Brit schoolteacher when I was 22, and had zero good times until she divorced me 30 years later.

My good times started aged 52 as a free and adventurous single male in Thailand.

Then ensued 10 years of booze, drugs and unsuitable women ............

She divorced you?

Ahem..

[luckyluke]

4 hours ago, Yinn said:

He not want to listen. up to him.

Well, you have something in common.

[transam]

17 minutes ago, Yinn said:

Guys like Villagefarang not need pay for freind/wife. He not start thread about he can make freind.

 

That the point of what i say. 

 

Also I not want to be freind with people who lie about themself. Eg. Someone who claim they speak Thai. And they can not. Obvious. 

 

If you want to have a lot of freind same me and Villagefarang you must not lie about yourself. Better just be yourself.

 

can not buy love, can not buy freind same.

 

Good luck, everyone, listen to Yinn advice, can have many freind! Same Yinn!

Reads like you are married to a thouroughly nice farang bloke...????

[villagefarang]

14 minutes ago, Liverpoolfan said:

18 minutes ago, Yinn said:

If you want to have a lot of freind same me and Villagefarang you must not lie about yourself. Better just be yourself.

Let me know when you guys are hanging out next. Would love to tag along and be in your gang ????

But would you understand what everyone in the gang was talking about? ????

[transam]

1 minute ago, villagefarang said:

But would you understand what everyone in the gang was talking about? ????

In your gang, yes........................????.................

[gamesgplayemail]

if you want friends stay home !

 

[drbeach]

True friendship with Thais is certainly very possible, if you can speak fluent Thai, or if the Thai party can speak fluent English/your language.

 

There are certainly plenty of Thais who have expat/foreigner friends that don't involve a bar stool or sex. It's possible. But you may need to evaluate what your social class is.

 

In my experience, it's quite possible to make Thai friends, but like in any country, I try to make friends of my social class. There is simply no way I could find anything in common with Somchai the lawnmower, Nut the plumber or Bom the security guard. Exchanging pleasantries when entering the moo baan gates, sure, but not genuine friendship.

 

On the other hand, plenty of wealthier, well traveled and educated Thais who can be my friend or your friend, if you make the effort.

 

As for expats, again, there are many types here. Gone are the days when all you could find were drug smugglers, diplomats and English teachers. Now you still have the bar stool types, and some English teachers, but you also have retirees, including those that spend 6 months in Thailand and the rest of the time at home, business owners/entrepreneurs, company employees, teachers of all kinds and many others.

 

I've met many interesting expats in Thailand, problem is, most live in their own world and don't seem interested in taking things beyond the drinks shared during a networking night. Some of them you see again and again at the same events, but it's very rare for them to agree to a beer or a meal outside of a networking event.

 

I'm sure it's the same back home...I struggled to make new friends a few years ago back in the west...everyone has their own social circle and it's difficult to break in, and that includes old high school friends. Even if you tell them on Facebook "hey, I'm coming back home for 2 months, let's meet up" they might pretend to be interested, but once you get there, you send them a couple of texts, they say they're "busy". All the while, they're posting pics having fun at the pub or bar or restaurant or whatever and then all of a sudden, 2 months have gone by and it's time to head back to your adopted home, Thailand. You then realize what's going on, which is that they blew you off.

[drbeach]

This kind of thread comes up a lot, the theme is always the same: I can't make friends with locals. There must be something wrong with Thais (or Asians in general).

 

Having lived in both Thailand and several other nearby Asian countries for many years, I can honestly say that it's usually a combination of factors including different social classes, educational attainment, cultural/language issues, lack of effort on the part of the newcomer and/or locals to get to know one another, lack of time for social interaction etc.

 

While the idea that some Thai males don't make good friendships holds a certain validity in my mind, one shouldn't stereotype too much. Again, it comes down to social class/education level and language issues. The type of Thai who hangs out in cheap bars and gets drunk every evening is as unappealing a companion as Tony the tradesman in Australia who leads a very similar lifestyle. I need someone more intellectual, more worldly. And there are plenty of Thais who fit that category. You just have to go out and find them, but if you're a long-term sex tourist, then there will be an inevitable clash of social classes, which nullifies any chance of striking up a friendship.

 

Ditto for foreigners - I used to be quite cynical about the snobbishness of some expats here, but I'm now a lot wiser and realize that people are like that everywhere. I certainly don't take it personally anymore. In fact, sometimes I prefer not to get too close to people, as that can occasionally ruin the relationship - I mean, the better someone knows you, the more likely they are to stick their nose into your affairs and sometimes that leads to messy situations. Of course, it's your call - it's usually easy to tell from someone's demeanor/actions what type of person they are. There are plenty of good people around who respect another's need for privacy and space, but is always there when needed. Those are what I would call good friends, but they aren't easy to find.

 

I've met a good deal of foreigners here, and that includes people who've since moved on without my knowledge, but I don't regret getting to know them. Back home it's not any easier. You have to go out and meet people at networking events or on Meetup or perhaps at the park or something. All of these will obviously have to wait a few weeks until the current restrictions are eased, but you get the point.

[WineOh]

6 minutes ago, drbeach said:

is as unappealing a companion as Tony the tradesman in Australia who leads a very similar lifestyle

Whats wrong with Tony?

he’s a good mate of mine!

[Dap]

Just like anywhere else in the world a friendship takes time to establish. Anything else is nothing more than a passing acquaintance. Friendships do not occur overnight. 

[BritManToo]

42 minutes ago, drbeach said:

I happen to know several successful Thai business owners, some Chinese-Thai, others Thai-Thai.

I've always found business people (of any nationality) incredibly dull.

They just want to talk about how much money they've made, and their plans for making more money.

 

When I'm with hiking groups in the mountains, I learned to quickly walk away from the guys talking about money.

Sorry, such people just don't interest me.

 

I've never had any female friends, that's not what women are for.

"Can't we just be friends?", Sorry no, If I can't bang you, you're just a time waster and I'm moving on.

I don't want to listen to them talking about their relationship problems, or their feelings, which is about the only conversation they ever have.

Edited April 21, 2020 by BritManToo

[brokenbone]

8 hours ago, 19DL86 said:

This was told me sometime ago by an American friend, that it was Spanish.  Seemed to make sense, or too might French.

Ah yes I see the " Muhlenburg Legend" as its referred to. But only as an "Urban Legend".  Why on earth German? - as they have no colonial influence or empire in the Americas.  Prior to 1930s not a great deal anywhere.

This should have been a sign for their later grandiose intentions.

washington contracted a preussian officer to train the militia,

german military was in high regard and it was a bit more then just urban legend

[WineOh]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

 

 

I've never had any female friends, that's not what women are for.

I don't want to hear them talking about their relationships, or their feelings.

Mate just ????????

[NightSky]

5 hours ago, transam said:

Yes I did, was with my ex wife for 23 years, we were two peas in a pod for 21 of those, then, BANG, she decided to do something different. After that shock I decided to do something different too and ended up in LOS.

So pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease don't go down the 'everything is perfect route' because for many it doesn't turn out that way.

 

I have now been married to my Thai wife for near 14 years, we get on well, but you never know...????  

We have our fair share of ups and downs too. ????

 

[AussieBob18]

11 minutes ago, drbeach said:

That's uncalled for and highly inaccurate.

If you had the intellectual capacity to read my two comments properly, you would have understood that in Thailand, like in every other country, there are different social classes.

I happen to know several successful Thai business owners, some Chinese-Thai, others Thai-Thai. They are middle aged or elderly in one case and are a pleasure to hang out with. Somchai the fishmonger however, no. But Mr. Nguyen Viet the Vietnamese fishmonger over in Soc Trang province, in the Mekong delta is as unlikely to become friends with Mr. farang as Somchai is. I have nothing in common with either. However, I do have several cool male Vietnamese friends, like I have male Thai friends. They are of course educated and can speak English well.

What is interesting is that I find it difficult to strike up genuine friendships with Vietnamese women. In Thailand I have more female friends, but also have some male ones. In Vietnam, virtually only male friends. I guess in Vietnam, there is a greater stratification of the sexes.

Agree with this and your previous comments mate. The OP has another post where he is talking about the Thai wife of an Expat that he is going to sleep with - that is the mentality of most Expats in Thailand mate and that is just one of many reasons to  avoid them.  When we lived full time in Thailand, we lived in a 'high end' gated community and we made 'friends' with a few Thai neighbours. We also had a few close Expat friends, and my one rule was simple (after a couple of 'troubled souls'), if he is the right age and is married to a nice/good Thai lady (wife would tell me) then maybe - but if not, then absolutely not. Have 4 that we still stay in contact with and every visit we met them, and often some of their other Expats and Thai friends. 

[Skeptic7]

Didn't come to Thailand to make friends. Came to get away from them. Most guys are BS artists and braggarts. And Thais don't have lasting, meaningful friendships even with other Thais. 

 

Get a dog. 

[Enzian]

I've only been here for 10 years so I can't say I know Thai men very well, tho I do know a little about the women. And for both I suspect kinship is more important by far than what we westerners think of as friendship. I've been rereading some Shakespeare, and it is notable how often men in the plays speak of their "love" for each other, and though they used the term much more loosely than we do today, there is still something there in western psychology, like with the Italians, men and women, greeting with kisses on both cheeks before the pandemic.