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The CIA had an opening for an assassin...

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  • Popular Post

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists:

two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her."

The man said "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."

The agent said, "Then you are not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes, so take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard one after another. Then they heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping sweat from her brow.

"The gun was loaded with blanks," she said. "I had to kill him with the chair."

Thanks for the humor...Told my blond daughter the story...she asks: "Is that true?"  Happy Father's Day to all!  ????

  • Popular Post
1 minute ago, Puchaiyank said:

Thanks for the humor...Told my blond daughter the story...she asks: "Is that true?"  Happy Father's Day to all!  ????

 

I was married to a blue-eyed, blonde-haired, ample-chested, Essex-girl. All the blonde jokes are 100% correct, every one of them.

 

I loved her to bits, had 5 kids together, then she ran off with the builder who built our home extension. After I'd paid him!!

 

The above really is 100% true ????

 

"I don't want to know why you can't. I want to know how you can!"

  • Popular Post
17 minutes ago, Crossy said:

I was married to a blue-eyed, blonde-haired, ample-chested, Essex-girl. All the blonde jokes are 100% correct, every one of them.

I loved her to bits, had 5 kids together, then she ran off with the builder who built our home extension. After I'd paid him!!

The above really is 100% true ????

You were lucky, mine started banging the gardener and chucked me out of the house.

  • Popular Post
1 hour ago, Crossy said:

then she ran off with the builder who built our home extension.

Obviously he had a bigger extension than you

 

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

You were lucky, mine started banging the gardener and chucked me out of the house.

Then there was the one with a larger garden hose.... or were you just not good at gardening?

 

 

I also used to have a dumb blond. She ran off with a soldier, the way I see it he did me a favour.

25 minutes ago, DaRoadrunner said:
1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

You were lucky, mine started banging the gardener and chucked me out of the house.

Then there was the one with a larger garden hose.... or were you just not good at gardening?

 

It's not how deep you plow.  It's how long you stay in the field.

 

39 minutes ago, impulse said:

 

It's not how deep you plow.  It's how long you stay in the field.

 

How  many times  can you  go in ever decreasing  circles?

1 hour ago, DaRoadrunner said:

Obviously he had a bigger extension than you

 

Then there was the one with a larger garden hose.... or were you just not good at gardening?

 

 

I also used to have a dumb blond. She ran off with a soldier, the way I see it he did me a favour.

He just soldiered on and banged her with the big gun then...

59 minutes ago, impulse said:
1 hour ago, DaRoadrunner said:
2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

You were lucky, mine started banging the gardener and chucked me out of the house.

Then there was the one with a larger garden hose.... or were you just not good at gardening?

 

It's not how deep you plow.  It's how long you stay in the field.

unless you are outgunned by a dude, with a stump jump plow

  -  you are then but a temporary obstacle

When you know she's having a bit on the side and you want to get out of it sort out your own cash side and then go for the 'Bucking Bronco' position.

Start doing the deed and halfway through just say 'your sister is better in bed' and see how long you stay on.

 

????????

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