1. Someone calls you at 2:am in the night and ask you "are you sleeping?"

Ans: No, I’m picking beans.

.

2. You're making out with a girl then you start pulling her pants then she asks;

what are you trying to do?

Ans: I want to wash them for you.

.

3. They see you coming out of the bathroom, wet; ''did you just have a bath?''

Ans: No, I fell into the toilet bowl.

.

4. You standing right in front of the elevator on the ground floor going to your office, yet they ask are you going up?''

Ans: No, I’m waiting for my office to come down and meet me.

.

5. Your boyfriend comes home with a bunch of flowers and you still asks him; ''are those flowers?''

Ans: No baby, they're carrots.

.

6. You're in the queue at the cinema to buy tickets, a friend see's.you and ask; ''what are you.doing here?''

Ans: I’m here to pay my school fees.

.

7. When people see you lying down with your eyes closed, they still ask; ''are you sleeping?''

Ans: No! I'm practicing to die.

.

8. You went to a restaurant and the waiter asks you: ''Plz can I get you a table?''

Ans: No. I’m here to eat on the floor.

.

9. Are you reading this post??

Answer... ?

Answer: No, I'm reading an article about Al Jaffee retiring from Mad Magazine:

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/15/business/media/al-jaffee-mad-magazine.html

Yes, and wondering how many friends you have.

Got as far as paragraph 2,

presently considering getting

away with pulling

ladies pants down.

7 minutes ago, talahtnut said:

Got as far as paragraph 2,

presently considering getting

away with pulling

ladies pants down.

Nighties are easier.

3 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Nighties are easier.

Already naked is better

My favorite question when entering a massage parlor..." 2 hands or 4?"