Popular Post falangUK Posted March 24, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2022 How would you react if a 14 Year old Thai who you've been coaching (free) daily called you a cheating dirty farang because you pointed out that he was cheating in a game of basketball? Father is fairly pleasant with the interactions I've had. The "kid" a 120kg giant layabout, treats the father in a pretty offhanded way too. I was feeling rather bad (because I hate confrontations) after the incident and tried twice to extend the proverbial olive branch, but the <deleted> just ignored me and walked off both times. What would you have done? What would you do in future encounters? Of course the TGF is 100% I am at fault because I am not Thai ???? 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post London Lowf Posted March 24, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2022 Deserved or not, you clearly have an attitude problem towards the kid and he has one towards you. I suggest you walk away 7 3 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Mac Mickmanus Posted March 24, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2022 The Kid and your TGF were right , you need to stop cheating when playing basketball and you should apologise and promise not to cheat again 1 1 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Gold ticket Posted March 24, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2022 Do you have children ? Do you consult forums about whether to smack their bums ? As stated above, walk. 2 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falangUK Posted March 24, 2022 Author Share Posted March 24, 2022 6 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said: The Kid and your TGF were right , you need to stop cheating when playing basketball and you should apologise and promise not to cheat again I am the coach! I didn't play Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dj230 Posted March 24, 2022 Share Posted March 24, 2022 how well do you know the kid? you coach him in basketball, does he always talk like this? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falangUK Posted March 24, 2022 Author Share Posted March 24, 2022 1 minute ago, Gold ticket said: Do you have children ? Do you consult forums about whether to smack their bums ? As stated above, walk. No to both! Also don't believe in corporal punishment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falangUK Posted March 24, 2022 Author Share Posted March 24, 2022 (edited) 3 minutes ago, dj230 said: how well do you know the kid? you coach him in basketball, does he always talk like this? Hmm, good questions ???? , how well do you know the kid? I don't know him all that well. Only for about 2 months. Does he always talk like this? no he is aloof, I try to to very friendly with everyone. He does shot at the other like that at times. Edited March 24, 2022 by falangUK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post redsongthaew Posted March 24, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2022 30 minutes ago, falangUK said: Of course the TGF is 100% I am at fault because I am not Thai Get a new girlfriend, and next time make a better choice. As for the kid, stop coaching him. Why are you wasting your life dealing with negative people? 21 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mrwebb8825 Posted March 24, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2022 The gf may be 100% right "culturally" that it was your fault for the outburst, not the cheating depending on HOW you called him on it. What to do about it - it's too late to "mend fences" if they haven't been already so just "pretend" the whole process never existed. There was never any coaching, never any outburst, never even met the kid and move along with your life. Treat him like a snake encountered in the forest. "My Way, Your Way" is how the wife explained it to me. Means simply don't mess with things that might bite you. 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post falangUK Posted March 24, 2022 Author Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2022 1 hour ago, redsongthaew said: Get a new girlfriend, and next time make a better choice. Hmm. probably be on my own for a while and enjoy life ???? rent as you go vs buy ???? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falangUK Posted March 24, 2022 Author Share Posted March 24, 2022 (edited) 52 minutes ago, mrwebb8825 said: The gf may be 100% right "culturally" that it was your fault for the outburst, not the cheating depending on HOW you called him on it. What to do about it - it's too late to "mend fences" if they haven't been already so just "pretend" the whole process never existed. There was never any coaching, never any outburst, never even met the kid and move along with your life. Treat him like a snake encountered in the forest. "My Way, Your Way" is how the wife explained it to me. Means simply don't mess with things that might bite you. Thanks for a well balanced and a well thought out response ???? This is a good general structure for me to apply for many other uncomfortable situations in life. BTW is the wife Thai? Didn't even know Thais had "My Way, Your Way" thing. Thanks again! owe you lots of beers ???? Edited March 24, 2022 by falangUK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ukrules Posted March 24, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2022 2 hours ago, falangUK said: How would you react if a 14 Year old Thai who you've been coaching (free) daily called you a cheating dirty farang because you pointed out that he was cheating in a game of basketball? I would stop coaching him and never have anything to do with him again. If his friends (if he has any) all start causing trouble then I'd just walk away and never do any of these ungreatful morons any kind of service ever again. Don't go out of your way to help those who clearly hate you, ever. 19 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falangUK Posted March 24, 2022 Author Share Posted March 24, 2022 32 minutes ago, ukrules said: I would stop coaching him and never have anything to do with him again. If his friends (if he has any) all start causing trouble then I'd just walk away and never do any of these ungreatful morons any kind of service ever again. Don't go out of your way to help those who clearly hate you, ever. Thank you so much for the advice ???? Yup truly ungrateful, unfriendly, disrespectful, stupid and lazy. Characteristics for a great future ???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Gottfrid Posted March 24, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2022 A 14 year old, 120 kg half man playing basket ball? I would like to see that. Is the weight because he is 2,14 m long? However, A teen with a bad attitude is not uncommon. His mother would know better, though. I think you will find it better to just leave the people that clearly deserve each other alone and get along with your life. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peter zwart Posted March 24, 2022 Share Posted March 24, 2022 14 years - 120 kg - big mouth = Wrong character. Or a very hard hand and feet of dad or let it go. Cant be helped anymore. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdemundo Posted March 24, 2022 Share Posted March 24, 2022 Young males teens to 20s are the demographic group that in my experience are most likely to be jerks. Amateur coaches, (which I am guessing is what you are) often have difficulty providing correction in a way that young people consider it to be "constructive criticism". Even pros, witness the famous mega jerk basketball coach Bobby Knight. Add in cultural misunderstanding and it becomes a minefield. As others have advised, walk away. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Dcheech Posted March 24, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2022 Classic. Used to play 2 on 2, rec style for exercise. We would play against Thai teams, whoever is around. Had more than a few Thai teams, who could not, would not, accept a happy medium for rules. They would hack the excrement out of you, travel, etc, when you would point it out, they would get in an argument about it. And you know Thais in a heated argument. Yeesh. We were doing it for fun and exercise, they were doing it for a different reason. In your case, Thais never enjoy having their "faults" pointed out even coaching B Ball. Good luck with that. You might be lucky too, didn't a Thai footie player just elbow smash a guy in the face, fracturing his cheekbone?! Uh huh. My favorite was the two badminton players who got in a fight, throwing chairs. punches, chasing each other around the court, heh. 4 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post sipi Posted March 24, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2022 The kid's health and attitude isn't your problem. He's the one looking at a heart attack. Move on. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post BritManToo Posted March 24, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2022 Best not to mix with male Thais. 3 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ThailandRyan Posted March 24, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2022 It is all about FACE and you made him loose it in front of others. You might want to move on and learn some Thai culture. 3 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post thaibeachlovers Posted March 25, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 25, 2022 4 hours ago, falangUK said: What would you do in future encounters? Wouldn't be any as I'd never go near the brat again. I certainly wouldn't be extending any olive branches. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibeachlovers Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 1 hour ago, cdemundo said: Young males teens to 20s are the demographic group that in my experience are most likely to be jerks. Amateur coaches, (which I am guessing is what you are) often have difficulty providing correction in a way that young people consider it to be "constructive criticism". Even pros, witness the famous mega jerk basketball coach Bobby Knight. Add in cultural misunderstanding and it becomes a minefield. As others have advised, walk away. Don't walk, run. The brat's loss. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Bert got kinky Posted March 25, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 25, 2022 (edited) 41 minutes ago, ThailandRyan said: It is all about FACE and you made him loose it in front of others. You might want to move on and learn some Thai culture. I don't agree with this. In my view the OP did nothing wrong in calling out a cheat, in fact it was the correct course to take for a sensible caring adult. You cannot hide bad actions behind culture, do you accept that Thais should accept corruption because it is ingrained into their culture? Why should the OP, who volunteers his own time to the children, have to tread lightly so as to not offend a cheat who has no remorse for their actions or attitude? If my children were are caught cheating, I hope that they are called on it. If children are not taught what is right and wrong, what chance do we have with a future? Edited March 25, 2022 by Bert got kinky 8 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post thaibeachlovers Posted March 25, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 25, 2022 Is the OP appreciated for coaching anyway- do they say thank you, wai? If not, why bother? It's been a hard lesson for me to learn in life, but sometimes people just don't want some well intentioned person trying to help. I've always been keen to pass on the lessons I've learned, but I finally realised that sometimes it's a mistake to do so. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post thaibeachlovers Posted March 25, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 25, 2022 3 minutes ago, Bert got kinky said: I don't agree with this. In my view the OP did nothing wrong in calling out a cheat, in fact it was the correct course to take for a sensible caring adult. You cannot hide bad actions behind culture, do you accept that Thais should accept corruption because it is ingrained into their culture? Why should the OP, who volunteers his own time to the children, have to tread lightly so as to not offend a cheat who has no remorse for their actions or attitude? If my children were are caught cheating, I hope that they are called on it. If children are not taught what is right and wrong, what chance do we have with a future? Farangs are not in Kansas, Toto. A farang is IMO tolerated by Thais, and if one does offend them, it's not going to end well, regardless of intentions. Making a Thai lose face is probably the biggest mistake any of us will do in LOS. If a farang does not understand that, he should tread warily in LOS. 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post StayinThailand2much Posted March 25, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 25, 2022 Stop coaching him for free. Charge him 500 baht each session for the privilege. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Bert got kinky Posted March 25, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 25, 2022 1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said: Farangs are not in Kansas, Toto. A farang is IMO tolerated by Thais, and if one does offend them, it's not going to end well, regardless of intentions. Making a Thai lose face is probably the biggest mistake any of us will do in LOS. If a farang does not understand that, he should tread warily in LOS. Aaah, the 'apologists' view. Not my country, not my problem. For God's sake, grow a pair. 3 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibeachlovers Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 1 minute ago, Bert got kinky said: Aaah, the 'apologists' view. Not my country, not my problem. For God's sake, grow a pair. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ThailandRyan Posted March 25, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 25, 2022 22 minutes ago, Bert got kinky said: I don't agree with this. In my view the OP did nothing wrong in calling out a cheat, in fact it was the correct course to take for a sensible caring adult. You cannot hide bad actions behind culture, do you accept that Thais should accept corruption because it is ingrained into their culture? Why should the OP, who volunteers his own time to the children, have to tread lightly so as to not offend a cheat who has no remorse for their actions or attitude? If my children were are caught cheating, I hope that they are called on it. If children are not taught what is right and wrong, what chance do we have with a future? Maybe ok if he was the parent and did it out of sight of others, but in this Thailand that is seen as a direct confrontation and is not accepted by many Thai people. Elsewhere in the world that is spot on. Bad behavior seems to always be rewarded in this country which needs to be stopped, and that starts at home. Just look at the punks on the motor bikes that blocked the ambulance and then showed up at the police station wearing silly hats, they should have had the <deleted> knocked out of them but no they will just be reprimanded and it will continue. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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