When Things Get Ugly in Multilingual Families

[GinBoy2]

So my family is multilingual

Me; English, Spanish(my two native languages) Mandarin Thai and Lao

Mrs G; Thai Lao and English

Daughters; English and Spanish

Son; English, Mandarin, Thai and Lao

 

But what happens when things get ugly?

 

When I was little we tended to speak a mix of English and Spanish at home, but as soon as my Mom got angry I could dollars to donuts guarantee she would be railing on me or my Dad in Spanish 

 

I do the same with my daughters. We usually speak English, but when I get mad, it's Spanish.

 

My wife usually will speak either English or Thai, but rile that girl up and it always devolves into a Lao tirade.

 

This probably doesn't afflict most of you, but for any polyglots out there, fascinating if inexplicable stuff

[Kwasaki]

Well when i get angry they don't listen to me and they don't understand anyhow. 

When wife gets angry it's Thais and I don't understand that. 

The rest of of family never would get angry with me, if they did they would say nothing. ????

[Tarteso]

You, as Spanish like me..Try to be a good Toreador (Parando, mandando y templando) with your family; Play with the cape Dodging, deceiving, ducking and bamboozling.

Win win ✌️

Edited January 28, 2023 by Tarteso

[Dmaxdan]

The wife and I just argue in gibberish. It works for us.

[JustThisOnePostOnly]

You go full-throated Klingon and enjoy the stunned silence as you make your way to the door.

[save the frogs]

5 languages ... very impressive

you're inspiring me to learn more languages

[Jerno]

Ignore and total extended silence in response to angry women.  Calms them right down.

[GinBoy2]

6 hours ago, Jerno said:

Ignore and total extended silence in response to angry women.  Calms them right down.

Oh I have over years accepted the concept of total silence in the face of a tirade!

 

But I think the point of my post is why us polyglots will will revert to one of our languages when angry or just generally pis****ed off.

 

I'm not even conscious of it. If angry at my wife I'll shout in Spanish, even though I know she doesn't understand a word, and she indeed will give the total silent response

[GinBoy2]

Just now, GinBoy2 said:

Oh I have over years accepted the concept of total silence in the face of a tirade!

 

But I think the point of my post is why us polyglots will revert to one of our languages when angry or just generally pis****ed off.

 

I'm not even conscious of it. If angry at my wife I'll shout in Spanish, even though I know she doesn't understand a word, and she indeed will give the total silent response

 

[JoseThailand]

7 hours ago, save the frogs said:

you're inspiring me to learn more languages

He learned them in the family, not from the books.

[spidermike007]

I rub my woman's head, and stroke her hair, saying kind things to her. Calms her right down. Took me awhile to figure that one out. She does not get angry often, but when she does, she runs hot. And this trick works! 

Edited January 28, 2023 by spidermike007

[jerrymahoney]

We speak in English. But when my wife doesn't understand what I said in English, I sometimes explain it to her in Thai.

 

When apart, we use LINE so can she use the auto-translate. Which sometimes gives hiccups like:

 

Me: How is your (Toyota) Fortuner?

Her: What about my furniture?

Edited January 28, 2023 by jerrymahoney

[Tarteso]

3 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

 

Agree…Also can’t not imagine my Thai wife in a discussion shouting me.. “Que te jodan, coño !”. ????

[GinBoy2]

8 minutes ago, Tarteso said:

Agree…Also can’t not imagine my Thai wife in a discussion shouting me.. “Que te jodan, coño !”. ????

For the non Spanish speakers, thats a word we dare not write here in English lol

[GinBoy2]

13 hours ago, JustThisOnePostOnly said:

You go full-throated Klingon and enjoy the stunned silence as you make your way to the door.

There is a wonderful episode of Frasier where he thinks he delivering his son's bar mitzvah speech  in Hebrew. yet does it in Klingon

[d4dang]

What happened to make up sex?

[BangkokReady]

Likely people simply switch to whatever is their "most native" language.  Even if they claim they have more than one.

[CharlieH]

Consider yourself lucky ! when Mys C gets angry its just SILENCE ! just dirty looks for the rest of the day. Silence is deafening ! ???? 

[falangUK]

16 hours ago, Tarteso said:

You, as Spanish like me..Try to be a good Toreador (Parando, mandando y templando) with your family; Play with the cape Dodging, deceiving, ducking and bamboozling.

Win win ✌️

And when does Tercio de Muerte come in?

[BritManToo]

17 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

But what happens when things get ugly?

I prohibit displays of anger between my family members.

They either comply or find somewhere else to live.

MiL was the only one who refused to understand, after shouting insanely at my step-daughter a second time, she was driven to the bus station later that day (don't come back).

[Tarteso]

8 minutes ago, falangUK said:

And when does Tercio de Muerte come in?

Really you never know.

Sometimes the bull is pardoned, other times the toreador ends up gored…????

[GinBoy2]

4 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

Likely people simply switch to whatever is their "most native" language.  Even if they claim they have more than one.

Well thats sort of true.

 

My native languages swirl in my head, whereas my learned languages I consciously translate.

 

But as to why Spanish is my default angry choice I have no idea.

 

English is usually my default language, especially after my parents are now long gone. I'll talk to a couple of Colombian ladies at work in Spanish and sometimes my daughters, but it's maybe 10%

 

Of course my daughter when totally pi****sed off with her boyfriend or the kids are being a pain will always speak to me in Spanish just to annoy the bf

Edited January 29, 2023 by GinBoy2