Is it good to be alone?

[Don Chance]

 

[BobBKK]

Ridiculous - loneliness is not the same as alone. This guy is just reading a script of nonsense. Leave people alone some choose to stay alone it's not a disease.

[xylophone]

7 minutes ago, BobBKK said:

Ridiculous - loneliness is not the same as alone. This guy is just reading a script of nonsense. Leave people alone some choose to stay alone it's not a disease.

Agree with that comment, and I've been on my own (alone) for most of my life apart from an unsuccessful three year attempt at marriage, and living together with a Thai girl for five years, and I'm now 76 this year.

 

I preferred to be on my own when I was very young, even learning to cook at a young age, which stood me in good stead for the rest of my life, and I prefer to be on my own now, although I do know a couple of Thai girls who would be more than willing to share a room/house/bed with me, but not for me.

 

I do remember my ex-wife in the UK shouting at me as she realised the marriage was over, and she said, "you will be a very lonely old man", to which I replied, "I will be alone, but never lonely".

 

True enough I like company sometimes and catch up with a few friends here and there, but in the main I spent time on my own, and like it that way.

PS. I couldn't be bothered to watch the video clip, so I just referred to your post!

[OneMoreFarang]

25 minutes ago, xylophone said:

PS. I couldn't be bothered to watch the video clip, so I just referred to your post!

Same same.

 

It seems many Thai people don't want to be alone. Maybe they share a (tiny) room not because of the reduced cost but because they don't want to be alone - and maybe alone with the ghosts.

I am happy to live together with my gf, but if she visits the family for a week and I am "alone" at home also like that. It's quiet. And then I am happy when she is back again.

And if I want to see people there are millions of them in viewing distance.

[Mac Mickmanus]

There is no correct answer .

Some people like to be with other people all the time and others are quite content being alone .

  It only becomes a problem if you live opposite to what you want , like if you like being with groups of people and you live on your own, then it may be a problem .

  But for people who don't mind their own company, its not a problem at all 

[gargamon]

It's got to do with how you grew up. If you were around a lot of people in your formative years(2-8) you will want to be around many when older. If not, then you won't mind being alone. This also explains why Thais (and Filipinos and Khmer) need to be around others, as most of them had a lot of people around in that period. 

[Mavideol]

1 hour ago, xylophone said:

Agree with that comment, and I've been on my own (alone) for most of my life apart from an unsuccessful three year attempt at marriage, and living together with a Thai girl for five years, and I'm now 76 this year.

 

I preferred to be on my own when I was very young, even learning to cook at a young age, which stood me in good stead for the rest of my life, and I prefer to be on my own now, although I do know a couple of Thai girls who would be more than willing to share a room/house/bed with me, but not for me.

 

I do remember my ex-wife in the UK shouting at me as she realised the marriage was over, and she said, "you will be a very lonely old man", to which I replied, "I will be alone, but never lonely".

 

True enough I like company sometimes and catch up with a few friends here and there, but in the main I spent time on my own, and like it that way.

PS. I couldn't be bothered to watch the video clip, so I just referred to your post!

am with you on that and still want to keep it like that... amazing my ex (from the USA) said exactly the same thing as yours  from the UK   555

[BritManToo]

I live with my parents, then 3 years at university alone.

After that I was living with a woman, with a total of couple of months alone between relationships.

So 67 - 3 = 64 years of not being alone. 

 

PS. Same from my Brit wife during divorce "You will be a lonely old man"

It's almost like they're reading from a script.

She was wrong, I was living with a young Thai woman while being divorced.

Edited March 1, 2023 by BritManToo

[scubascuba3]

I didn't bother watching the video but it's important to have social contact with others, if you are on your own with little or no contact people can go ting tong. My social contact for cycling and golf is as important as the exercise

[xylophone]

27 minutes ago, Mavideol said:

am with you on that and still want to keep it like that... amazing my ex (from the USA) said exactly the same thing as yours  from the UK   555

I do believe that the woman saying to a guy that, "you will become a lonely old man" is meant to hurt, but my ex-wife could never understand that I needed some space and a little bit of freedom, not to be up to mischief, but to have time to myself, so in fact she was allowing me to do just that when she left, without really knowing that she was in the process of making me happy again!!!!

[KhunLA]

I have no problem being alone ... actually prefer to by myself.   Never lonely, if  don't want to be, but not a social person.  

 

If in a relationship, which I usually am, not big on socializing with their friends or family.  In between relationships, quite enjoy being alone.

 

 

[zzaa09]

Yes.

We aren't that special.

[Cat ji]

Good is subjective - very subjective, especially this.  End of.

internet/youtube <deleted>.

[save the frogs]

couples should live in separate apartments.

give each other breathing room, time to recharge on your own, less likelihood of arguments and fights.

 

 

[GinBoy2]

I've married for a lot of my adult life, not the same woman, but I digress.

 

I like being with someone, but equally I'm fine being alone.

 

I was an only child, pretty odd in a Hispanic family in the 60/70's, but I learned all the skills to be self sufficient and pretty OK being on my own

[LaosLover]

37 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

 

 

I like being with someone, but equally I'm fine being alone.

 

This is where I ended up too, but it took a lifetime and the right woman. 

 

My wife is going back to the states for 6 weeks to rent out our house there. I'll miss her, she's my joy, but part of me can't wait to see the back of her. 

It's bad to be too into your own head (aloneness), but never having solo mental space wears you down just as much. It's hard to get any level of inner distance and silence with them in the room. All of the time. 

 

In Country Music terms, the song title would be, "How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?".

[sidneybear]

16 hours ago, xylophone said:

I needed some space and a little bit of freedom, not to be up to mischief, but to have time to myself

That pretty much sums it up for me.

[xylophone]

I would just like to add something to this thread, and it's not directly "OnPoint" however it is related, so here goes......... 

 

Many times in my life I have come across male friends who just cannot cope on their own, this more so if a girlfriend or wife has left them. One friend in particular was even unable to open a can and his main meal consisted of a grilled lamb chop (grilled almost to a crisp) and any peas that he could force out of a can with a large knife and wonky tin opener, and that was it, day in and day out.

 

I learned of his plight when he invited me around for dinner, and I couldn't eat what he put in front of me, and whilst I was there I had to sew a couple of buttons on his shirt for him! In short, he was absolutely useless on his own and I found a girlfriend for him which helped, and eventually he found a full-time one, and he married her.

 

That is just one glaring instance, however there are others, and to me it goes to prove that some men are absolutely hopeless on their own, and really do need a companion of some description or another to take care/look after them.

Edited March 2, 2023 by xylophone

[simon43]

21 hours ago, BobBKK said:

Ridiculous - loneliness is not the same as alone. This guy is just reading a script of nonsense. Leave people alone some choose to stay alone it's not a disease.

Absolutely.  Methinks this non-native speaker is confusing 2 English words with completely different meanings.  It's like saying 'alive' (ie not dead) is similar to 'live' (ie not hatched from an egg).

 

But as Xylophone comments. it seems true that some men are completely unable to function on their own, in that they have never learnt daily skills such as cooking ,sewing on a button etc.  Others crave for social company, perhaps because of lack of their own self-confidence or esteem.

 

Right now, and for the past month, I have been living in a tiny and very basic hotel room in Blackpool, about 3.5m x 2.5m with a tiny attached loo and shower, while I go through the diagnosis and treatment for suspected prostate cancer.  There is no-one else staying at this guesthouse (who wants to visit Blackpool in February).

 

Am I lonely?  Is my mental health suffering? No!!  It's certainly not a place that I would choose to stay for a prolonged period, but it is a new experience and I'm very used to and very happy being on my own.  Although I have to comment that after 21 years living outside of the UK, there are some typical British activities that are somewhat foreign to me ????

 

Being lonely and being alone are worlds apart.

[BobBKK]

1 hour ago, simon43 said:

Absolutely.  Methinks this non-native speaker is confusing 2 English words with completely different meanings.  It's like saying 'alive' (ie not dead) is similar to 'live' (ie not hatched from an egg).

 

But as Xylophone comments. it seems true that some men are completely unable to function on their own, in that they have never learnt daily skills such as cooking ,sewing on a button etc.  Others crave for social company, perhaps because of lack of their own self-confidence or esteem.

 

Right now, and for the past month, I have been living in a tiny and very basic hotel room in Blackpool, about 3.5m x 2.5m with a tiny attached loo and shower, while I go through the diagnosis and treatment for suspected prostate cancer.  There is no-one else staying at this guesthouse (who wants to visit Blackpool in February).

 

Am I lonely?  Is my mental health suffering? No!!  It's certainly not a place that I would choose to stay for a prolonged period, but it is a new experience and I'm very used to and very happy being on my own.  Although I have to comment that after 21 years living outside of the UK, there are some typical British activities that are somewhat foreign to me ????

 

Being lonely and being alone are worlds apart.

Exactly!  and very best wishes 

[Mavideol]

3 hours ago, simon43 said:

Absolutely.  Methinks this non-native speaker is confusing 2 English words with completely different meanings.  It's like saying 'alive' (ie not dead) is similar to 'live' (ie not hatched from an egg).

 

But as Xylophone comments. it seems true that some men are completely unable to function on their own, in that they have never learnt daily skills such as cooking ,sewing on a button etc.  Others crave for social company, perhaps because of lack of their own self-confidence or esteem.

 

Right now, and for the past month, I have been living in a tiny and very basic hotel room in Blackpool, about 3.5m x 2.5m with a tiny attached loo and shower, while I go through the diagnosis and treatment for suspected prostate cancer.  There is no-one else staying at this guesthouse (who wants to visit Blackpool in February).

 

Am I lonely?  Is my mental health suffering? No!!  It's certainly not a place that I would choose to stay for a prolonged period, but it is a new experience and I'm very used to and very happy being on my own.  Although I have to comment that after 21 years living outside of the UK, there are some typical British activities that are somewhat foreign to me ????

 

Being lonely and being alone are worlds apart.

hope all is well and wish u the best that way u can leave Blackpool asap  ???????? have a good day