Isaan Woman

[grain]

Reading some of these posts I must be super lucky. Been with my Isaan woman for 10 years, she's probably the nicest, kindest, most honest woman I've ever met. She's now 55 but in great shape, still slim, with a great figure, she looks after herself and her looks. I have no complaints at all and wouldn't consider leaving her for a second. I've lived in Thailand for a very long time and know that a woman with her character is hard to find here.

[sherwood]

EWhere to start?

My wife gets a funny on every now and then so I just refuse to speak to her until she talks first.

It usually ain't my problem so I ignore it.

Works for me.

As for the loud voice, she understands the term "fish wife" now so tones it down a little.

Most of the above seems about right. Women, shesh.

[OneMoreFarang]

I wonder what farang guys expect when they move to (an often small village) up country without knowing the local language and culture. What can possibly go wrong? ... 

 

[BE88]

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

 

 

As said many times by to many, but some never listen to, never invest more than you are willing to walk away from.

Very good advice and if I may add never tell your partner or wife how much money you have always make her believe that you have all put you in Thailand, so at least you can always reserve an escape route if everything goes wrong

 

[scubascuba3]

These people in relationships where there's mutual hatred, not an ideal situation when getting very elderly and need looking after, lady might prefer to use the falang as a door stop

[asf6]

Why do people marry people with characters they do not like?

 

I could never marry or live with a woman, or even date a woman, who shouts all the time or one who would try to control me. Shudder the thought.

[Hummin]

16 minutes ago, BE88 said:

Very good advice and if I may add never tell your partner or wife how much money you have always make her believe that you have all put you in Thailand, so at least you can always reserve an escape route if everything goes wrong

 

Never told her how much real estate dept I have ????

[Fat is a type of crazy]

All this talk about having to be boss or be bossed. I don't have a particularly assertive personality. But let my girl try and push me around and she learns quickly it's not going to get her a thing.

Could be my first marriage failed because she played some games but I held her accountable and soon it wasn't fun. 

Point is don't wake up thinking I'm a man and therefore.. blah blah blah.  Be yourself, hold your position but allow time for the fact the she may have a point, and if you can't find a common position after a time then leave it there as I and the first wife did on somewhat friendly terms.

I sometimes talk about feminism and it's on the basis that women are equal not that they are special or can run roughshod. 

To the ones thinking of marriage getting a prenup helps you stay confident and to escape with dignity if and when the time comes. Wife got nothing much but a debt paid and Australian citizenship which isn't to shabby but left me with no reason to be bitter and twisted.  

 

[Stevey]

3 hours ago, Moonlover said:

 

That's one of the problems with living in a rural Thai village, having had a western scientific education.

 

It can make one very arrogant!

It feels so good to enlighten the uneducated though. Seeing their little face light up like the moon ???? does every month.  And that was the over fifties in the class, I mean shop. 

[spidermike007]

6 hours ago, NickyLouie said:

I try my best to avoid Isaan people in general, the odd maid or laborer is acceptable.

 

 

You are not only making a huge generalization, considering they make up a third of the nation's population, but you are missing out on the best of what Thailand has to offer. They are my favorite Thais. Absolutely lovely souls. 

[Jackwithquestions]

I've been seeing an Isaan woman for 6 months. Like you in the beginning it was nice. She seemed perfect. But now I can feel that she is colder. I've invested a little money, but nothing excessive.  I have noticed when she wants something, then very loving. I believe I'm wasting my time and will probably just head down to Jom Thien and rent a nice condo on the beach. If she is cold already, imagine in 5 years, and by then I would be invested. As others on this post has said, "life's to short". Thanks for sharing your experience, mate. It's helped me realise the error of my ways.

[Jackwithquestions]

4 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Isaan women have a reputation for being strong-minded and hard-working. Never having been in a relationship with one, I don't know if that is true.

I have a joint account with my Thai GF of 200K baht. The rest of my assets in Thailand and Australia are my business only.

Any woman who became horrible or started shouting at me would be out the door before she could blink. I put up with a psycho once, never again.

The one I'm seeing is hard working and strong minded and I think ruthless would be another good adjective. 

[Hummin]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I wonder what farang guys expect when they move to (an often small village) up country without knowing the local language and culture. What can possibly go wrong? ... 

 

Cheap land and cheap house far away from Neighbors, a chef, cleaner and a younger loving wife, home bread and homegrown food and fresh air most of the year. Alot of space for toys and things

 

That should sums it up + after 10 year a cheap rent and service included. 

 

 

[Celsius]

5 hours ago, Stevey said:

I met Colin a Falang

There is always one. Farang named Colin

[NanLaew]

5 hours ago, Stevey said:

Although I agree with you that I chose wrong. I’m stuck with the 5hit house now. 
 

And I agree that alot of the Falangs here bring it on themselves, like Colin. 
 

My point is that I she a lot of strong minded shouty women up here and that goes for the young ones who try to emulate the older mothers. 
 

If guys mixing with these women in what ever settings they are procuring said women knew what they heading to they would think twice and maybe head to Scunthorpe to procure a life partner 

I take it you've never been to Scunthorpe.

[Adumbration]

1 hour ago, Celsius said:

There is always one. Farang named Colin

 

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

Cheap land and cheap house far away from Neighbors, a chef, cleaner and a younger loving wife, home bread and homegrown food and fresh air most of the year. Alot of space for toys and things

 

That should sums it up + after 10 year a cheap rent and service included. 

Thanks

I guess I am just too much a city person. If the next 7/11 is more than 300m away, that is too far for me.

Now I have at least 5 7/11 and 10 restaurants in 500m walking distance... 

[Sticky Rice Balls]

3 hours ago, Jackwithquestions said:

The one I'm seeing is hard working and strong minded and I think ruthless would be another good adjective. 

think of it as each thai has an empty rice bowl--the one to fill it up the most wins..its an image and status obsesses country valued only by material things or as we say keeping up with the jones'...........just look at girls on scoopys.. iphones...fake designer clothes--skin color--contacts..is all about external image to flaunt..hence the selfies in fancy places to show off.....seems typical in asian culture..... judge a country on how they treat the poorest of them and react during hard times

 

i live in Cm so its a 1000 cuts daily for me as soon as i walk outside ..being the walking atms "most" thais see us to be......hello mista! you waaaan massage! (15x)

 

reminds me of the saying ive heard directly from thais..."money #1"...family always comes first...you will never be #1.......thais for thais..we are not thai......

 

go look on tf site of all the girls pics at resorts..in pools..eating fancy meals.....lord forbid the tik tok vids of them in bubble baths at some fancy outdoor resort

 

money drives most folks....not me......but seems to be excessive in asian culture.....koreans all getting surgery to where they all look the same..skin bleaching

 

could also be isaan girls work hard as the thai boys lay about and they are just born into being the boss and running things.....old habits die hard they say

[Hummin]

12 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Thanks

I guess I am just too much a city person. If the next 7/11 is more than 300m away, that is too far for me.

Now I have at least 5 7/11 and 10 restaurants in 500m walking distance... 

We got our first 7/11 about 700 meter away now.

 

Most of all, it is a great base for us, and she have her family 5 min down the road. We travel together quite often, and I also leave for work abroad. I could not invest there if I would become stuck, and I have other plans after 70 years old, but that is 16 years down the road, so those plans might change before that time.

 

I also enjoy working on our farm when Im there and care for our animals as well. 

Edited April 9, 2023 by Hummin

[Hummin]

7 minutes ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

think of it as each thai has an empty rice bowl--the one to fill it up the most wins..its an image and status obsesses country valued only by material things or as we say keeping up with the jones'...........just look at girls on scoopys.. iphones...fake designer clothes--skin color--contacts..is all about external image to flaunt..hence the selfies in fancy places to show off.....seems typical in asian culture..... judge a country on how they treat the poorest of them and react during hard times

 

i live in Cm so its a 1000 cuts daily for me as soon as i walk outside ..being the walking atms "most" thais see us to be......hello mista! you waaaan massage! (15x)

 

reminds me of the saying ive heard directly from thais..."money #1"...family always comes first...you will never be #1.......thais for thais..we are not thai......

 

go look on tf site of all the girls pics at resorts..in pools..eating fancy meals.....lord forbid the tik tok vids of them in bubble baths at some fancy outdoor resort

 

money drives most folks....not me......but seems to be excessive in asian culture.....koreans all getting surgery to where they all look the same..skin bleaching

 

could also be isaan girls work hard as the thai boys lay about and they are just born into being the boss and running things.....old habits die hard they say

I guess experiences do something with you, and I do not deny money is important and many Thais are greedy, especially in tourist areas against us foreigners. And then you experience those who help you, and do not want to take one baht from you, and it happens more often outside typical tourist areas. They also help you when buying stuff, warn you when the price is to high, and when your parents in law protects you from spending your money to, by setting example, helping your wife and never asked for anything. You park your car dirty, you come back and it is clean, they stay at our land 24/7 when we are not there and ask nothing in return. I pay them for their work, when they work of course, and also support them when they need something, but I have never been asked give money.

 

When grandma needed a hospital bed home, we all contributed, and nobody expected the falang to pay The 6 500,- bath, which I could have done if I was asked by my wife. 

 

And those who think only falang being taken for a ride, thais is not protected from their own, they are extorted as much as foreigners. 

[Sticky Rice Balls]

1 minute ago, Hummin said:

I guess experiences do something with you, and I do not deny money is important and many Thais are greedy, especially in tourist areas against us foreigners. And then you experience those who help you, and do not want to take one baht from you, and it happens more often outside typical tourist areas. They also help you when buying stuff, warn you when the price is to high, and when your parents in law protects you from spending your money to, by setting example, helping your wife and never asked for anything. You park your car dirty, you come back and it is clean, they stay at our land 24/7 when we are not there and ask nothing in return. I pay them for their work, when they work of course, and also support them when they need something, but I have never been asked give money.

 

When grandma needed a hospital bed home, we all contributed, and nobody expected the falang to pay The 6 500,- bath, which I could have done if I was asked by my wife. 

 

And those who think only falang being taken for a ride, thais is not protected from their own, they are extorted as much as foreigners. 

i agree!    as ive lived in CM---Khon kaen and nong khai......as i posted the differences you say as well living in tourists areas vs local.....

 

i liked KK and NK very much but grew tired of local scene and returned to CM for more variety--food option and being able to mix with westerners as well

to just have a deeper convo and can choose between the two as needed as i live in a local area and am only farang in my building.....so i agree as i think anyone anywhere will exp the same in tourist areas....and just my exps living in Cm and biking around old city daily interacting and being seen as a tourist always...

[Stevey]

7 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

I think finding a good woman requires a proper qualification process. Taking a long time to make a determination to see if she is worthy of your time, and devotion, is always a good idea. See what she is made of. See what kind of heart and soul she has. Many women like to push the timetable. It is up to us to push back. There are plenty of very good women here. Take your time finding one, and keep your standards high. You owe that to yourself. 

???? thanks 

[still kicking]

12 hours ago, Stevey said:

Oh … what the love of a good man someone to fix a leaking pipe ? 

 

[Stevey]

4 hours ago, Jackwithquestions said:

I've been seeing an Isaan woman for 6 months. Like you in the beginning it was nice. She seemed perfect. But now I can feel that she is colder. I've invested a little money, but nothing excessive.  I have noticed when she wants something, then very loving. I believe I'm wasting my time and will probably just head down to Jom Thien and rent a nice condo on the beach. If she is cold already, imagine in 5 years, and by then I would be invested. As others on this post has said, "life's to short". Thanks for sharing your experience, mate. It's helped me realise the error of my ways.

Jack. Yes be very careful. This and people in your position is who I want to speak to. My original statement that if we knew that that girl we once fell in love with would end up talking to us like we were not that anymore would we have continued from the start. I would say now after four years together that I should half left her when she shouted about something trivial weeks after we were together in the village. If you have doubts get out. If finance is the only way to romance then get out. Maybe move up to Isaan and rent a house 3000baht a month. See what people are like and if you like it. Are you ok with people driving at a dog and not slowing down and caring if it gets out the way of not. And they do like to have a Thai boyfriend somewhere. If she’s not the one let her go. 
 

Goodluck 

[Stevey]

6 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Maybe Isaan women need Isaan men to handle them. Or men who understand that those women know only one type of relationship: One person is the boss, and the other person follows.

You are obviously not the boss. So she is the boss and tells you what to do.

IMHO it is almost impossible to reverse that situation when it's established, maybe over years.

Accept that she is the boss and do what she wants or move out. No other options.

I would like to take this opportunity to Thank you for your support ????

 

As I and I’ve heard other say men are subservient to women here and I’ve never seen a man here who would stand up to one. She thinks she is the Boss. And that’s how it needs to be for me to be happier. 

 

Oh just one last question before I go… have you ever left a 5 year old boy who has only ever known you as a father and as your leaving you say “ Sorry but it’s staying in your life or staying out of your Moms.. goodbye I’m going get another potential wife who may turn out worse than her “ 

[Stevey]

8 hours ago, youreavinalaff said:

You are having a bad time. That has created a situation whereby everything you see or hear you do so in a negative way. Even having a go at some posters on here.

 

Your choice is simple. Lighten up or leave.

 

BTW, I would have thought a man of your high standing would have made sure their child was brought up to speak English as well as Thai. Would give him opportunities to escape the "s#it house" he lives in.

I’m assuming you have never spoken like that to anybody in person ? 
 

look lighten up. I can’t remember any post I’ve made here where I ‘ have had a go ‘ at other members.  You’ve obviously got your knickers in a twist because you don’t like anything bad said against the people you love. And I’ve learned, because I’m special, to communicate with the locals. 
 

I love more people here than I dislike that’s for sure. And I’m also well aware  that we are different people. 
 

These Isaan people I have met seen to have no emotion. The funerals I’ve seen and not a tear shed. One that stands out was a family member 50 year old sister to another 9 siblings. I watched after they’d burned her in the day on a Boraan style open wood pile. They had a Gaan Sop party on the night like it was 1999 and the mother just sat and chatted. you would never of known it was a wake. I still can’t get my head round it all 

[youreavinalaff]

15 minutes ago, Stevey said:

I’m assuming you have never spoken like that to anybody in person ? 
 

look lighten up. I can’t remember any post I’ve made here where I ‘ have had a go ‘ at other members.  You’ve obviously got your knickers in a twist because you don’t like anything bad said against the people you love. And I’ve learned, because I’m special, to communicate with the locals. 
 

I love more people here than I dislike that’s for sure. And I’m also well aware  that we are different people. 
 

These Isaan people I have met seen to have no emotion. The funerals I’ve seen and not a tear shed. One that stands out was a family member 50 year old sister to another 9 siblings. I watched after they’d burned her in the day on a Boraan style open wood pile. They had a Gaan Sop party on the night like it was 1999 and the mother just sat and chatted. you would never of known it was a wake. I still can’t get my head round it all 

My point proved. 

 

Thank you 

[Stevey]

4 hours ago, Celsius said:

There is always one. Farang named Colin

Oh, I could tell you a tale about Colin, so I could. 
 

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

 

Colin lost everything to my girlfriends

cousin a notorious 1980’s bargirl who he found on the internet 20years ago. He is one of those guys who didn’t get his bird from a bar and he told me proudly once that he met on a Thai dating site back in the day. Only thing is I met someone who knew her and all her friends and acquaintances who told me that she was a Soi Cowboy bar girl in the eighties. Colin to this day thinks she was a business woman dealing in textile import exports in Bangkok. Anyway we ended ‘up to get her’ no, up together in the village and had some great nights on the piss over a few year. Then a couple of years back he tells me she had raided his bank by forging his identity and setting up internet banking and transferred all 6.5mill out to another account  Two years later the house, cars land and 20 apartments in BKK were gone but although I got took for a bike that my miss lent the green book to his Missus to lend 20k baht on but it never got paid and the shop took the bike coz I refused to pay it and he believed his missus who stole everything he had that she had paid the shop I still respected that he has managed to find work and may have actually earned that 6.5million back by staying in a ship working for a year unbroken. Although she owes that much money that’ll go and he’ll end up back in Scotland working in Tesco’s collecting trolleys 

[Stevey]

4 hours ago, NanLaew said:

I take it you've never been to Scunthorpe.

???? Ooh I’d give my right ball for a week in Scunny !! 

[Stevey]

6 hours ago, asf6 said:

Why do people marry people with characters they do not like?

 

I could never marry or live with a woman, or even date a woman, who shouts all the time or one who would try to control me. Shudder the thought.

Women are devious and if your job is lying then it’s easy but when the mug is invested the mask can slip.