Isaan thinking of Falang

[youreavinalaff]

1 hour ago, hellohello123 said:

Ummm. He is actually agreeing....

 

Unless i missed the sarcasm!

He suggested we were all failures in our own country.

 

I'm not and wasn't prior to moving to Thailand. 

 

Hence my comment " Speak for yourself".

[save the frogs]

I vaguely recall you mentioning people whispering about you ...

I can understand why you would find that annoying, but people gossip everywhere in the world. It's not just Isaan.
But in small villages it's worse because people know everything you're doing.

[473geo]

Surprises me that more posters are not aware of the 'cultural' differences in every day behaviour 

Yes we are visitors here, yet it appears some of the actions mentioned by the op go 'unseen' by many 

 

I have no desire to befriend and show how good I am with children other than raise my own in a reasonable manner 

2 minutes of 'entertaining' children not your own, is to me more of a 'look at me' situation

But then I never sought any 'approval' for my behaviour and do not go through life on some sort of 'election' walk about 

 

 

 

 

[ArnieP]

On 4/28/2023 at 11:16 AM, Stevey said:

military style and shaved high up to the crown. Every boy here I have seen here who’s up to no good has this cut

Same here in Udon, always little nasties and troublesome kids have that hair style.

 

[youreavinalaff]

7 minutes ago, ArnieP said:

Same here in Udon, always little nasties and troublesome kids have that hair style.

 

No. It's school rules. All young boys that attend government schools have to have skinhead style haircuts.

[Dazkkk]

On 4/28/2023 at 5:02 PM, Stevey said:

I’m not Australian I’m a million miles in the opposite direction I’m English. I would not go to Oz if you gave me a free house and car. That government is evil. 

A bit of advice, try reducing at least 3 of the 10 medications that your psychiatrist prescribed for you all those years ago. ????

[bignok]

21 hours ago, BritManToo said:

If we weren't failures in our home countries, we wouldn't need to move here.

You as well!

 

As for learning the language,

I did, but they had nothing to say I wanted to hear, so I forgot.

I also forgot German, French and Spanish.

Guys who never travelled are failures. They spent 60 years reading the same book.

[VocalNeal]

16 hours ago, save the frogs said:

But in small villages it's worse because people know everything you're doing.

Which is one of the reasons people arrive home late at night with no lights on their motorcycle????

[Adumbration]

I seldom use the word "tool" as an insult for people who claim to speak the Thai language well. 

 

I mostly use it to describe expat cuckolds taking care of someone else's children.

[Stevey]

15 hours ago, 473geo said:

Surprises me that more posters are not aware of the 'cultural' differences in every day behaviour 

Yes we are visitors here, yet it appears some of the actions mentioned by the op go 'unseen' by many 

 

I have no desire to befriend and show how good I am with children other than raise my own in a reasonable manner 

2 minutes of 'entertaining' children not your own, is to me more of a 'look at me' situation

But then I never sought any 'approval' for my behaviour and do not go through life on some sort of 'election' walk about 

 

 

 

 

 
 

I believe your referring to my point how Isaan Mothers like to get involved with your kid.

 

At the start of this happening I would indulge these women and really saw nothing in what they were doing as a problem. But After a while and especially recently I have seen it not so much as taking an interest but total outright nosiness to the point of invasion of privacy.  

Take yesterday for example. It was so hot and about 11am little Dang and I popped out to the outskirts of the village to my Favourite Noodle shop. Ah ! Closed ! So we head into town. We found a noodle shop in the shade. I ordered guay Dtee-ow noodles in ‘ Good Thai ‘. To allay any confusion I even said “ 1 bowl 60 baht “ while Dang sat down.

We sit down waiting and over walks another lady who works in the shop. Another slightly fat late forties died hair no smile and looks like a handful in an argument. She points at Dang and  asks in the local language  “ what’s he having ? “ I answered “ I’ve ordered already “ She has another go and I reply again “ I’ve ordered already “ Much to the enjoyment of the sitting local patrons.  She got off. I stopped ordering food he doesn’t eat a while back and the cheek of these restaurants I go to with Dang who want to provide a tiny five years old with a full bowl of noodles galls me. Sixty baht is no small amount for people  on 300baht a day when they get work. So I see it as a total liberty and 9iss take. He can pick at mine while he plays Minecraft on his phone.

Dang sees a kid who belongs to the family of the shop so as usual end up going over and playing. It wasn’t long before the investigation starts. The word Falang came out of her mouth a couple of times and I could hear Dang giving all the usual answers in order as she progressed her interrogation in hushed tones. I called over in Thai “Mai Dtong Dtorp!” With a chuckle. 

We later ate again in another shop and again he got the third degree from another old Isaan Hag. They always want to know the village and the mothers name. I can understand making conversation, which they would Not do with the child of a Thai man in their shop but why do they need to know his moms name. I put my hand up like a police man halting 3 lanes of traffic as she started her questioning, she sheepishly skulked off. She knew that carrying out a full probe about my private life is not polite but they really think it’s not a problem if you can’t understand. 
 

But that’s  what they’re like. 

[VocalNeal]

2 minutes ago, Adumbration said:

I mostly use it to describe expat cuckolds taking care of someone else's children.

A friend of mine's father was killed in WWII. His brother married the widow in order to take care of his brother's children. Cuckold????

[Pouatchee]

On 4/28/2023 at 11:16 AM, Stevey said:

Any way that’s all I got. But I shall be able to add some more points as we go on.

Please don't

[Adumbration]

36 minutes ago, VocalNeal said:

Which is one of the reasons people arrive home late at night with no lights on their motorcycle????

No that is mostly because they believe they will use less petrol with the lights turned off.

[Stevey]

6 minutes ago, Adumbration said:

I seldom use the word "tool" as an insult for people who claim to speak the Thai language well. 

 

I mostly use it to describe expat cuckolds taking care of someone else's children.

I did say I wouldn’t address trolls and those whose comments were only to insult, that’s my job.

I will address the point you have made that anybody here looking after other peoples children are being cuckholded. 
 

In the same way that you can’t help who you fall in love with (whatever love is) How do you Not do the same with a child you develop feelings for ? 
 

About 6 months ago I actually moved out to a friends place after my girlfriends mood had become intolerable. That was a very dark time and that’s when I realised that staying together for the children is a price definitely worth paying. 
 

I never had the impulse to have children, I have never met a child I liked enough to say “ ???? I need one of those “. Also my mom was evil when we grew up and would not attach myself to a woman in the west and get trapped by a total c()nt. she left my dad with Zero at fifty and she lives in luxury on the proceeds of the house sale. He got zero. 

 

Most people who have kids get a net benefit in that they have some people about to take care of them when they are old. I don’t know how possible that will be in my situation at 48 and him being five, time will tell. 
 

A friend of mine here who is 75 and you could possibly consider him wise as he has a few quid and was a former business owner in England now retired in Jomtien. When I was talking about the problems I had with my girlfriend he said “ Just leave her he’s not your kid is he ? Why are you bothered? Kids are resilient, he’ll soon forget you !  Thinking about how he’s only known me as his Dad for the last four plus years  I couldn’t help but wonder if he was a sociopath. And his wife had the same opinion too, although I’m positive she is evil. 
 

 

[Stevey]

29 minutes ago, Adumbration said:

No that is mostly because they believe they will use less petrol with the lights turned off.

I thought they were making the light bulb last. 

[Stevey]

8 hours ago, Dazkkk said:

A bit of advice, try reducing at least 3 of the 10 medications that your psychiatrist prescribed for you all those years ago. ????

I never got one of the medications you weren’t allowed to go to work without i Oz. That place resembled 1940 Germany while that was going on. We had our problems in the UK, which I totally avoided as I spent the whole period here, but in the UK it was free choice. 

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, Adumbration said:

I seldom use the word "tool" as an insult for people who claim to speak the Thai language well. 

 

I mostly use it to describe expat cuckolds taking care of someone else's children.

I have no problem caring or other people's kids.

After all, back in the UK someone is looking after 4 of mine.

So it's only fair!

[EVENKEEL]

1 hour ago, Stevey said:

I did say I wouldn’t address trolls and those whose comments were only to insult, that’s my job.

I will address the point you have made that anybody here looking after other peoples children are being cuckholded. 
 

In the same way that you can’t help who you fall in love with (whatever love is) How do you Not do the same with a child you develop feelings for ? 
 

About 6 months ago I actually moved out to a friends place after my girlfriends mood had become intolerable. That was a very dark time and that’s when I realised that staying together for the children is a price definitely worth paying. 
 

I never had the impulse to have children, I have never met a child I liked enough to say “ ???? I need one of those “. Also my mom was evil when we grew up and would not attach myself to a woman in the west and get trapped by a total c()nt. she left my dad with Zero at fifty and she lives in luxury on the proceeds of the house sale. He got zero. 

 

Most people who have kids get a net benefit in that they have some people about to take care of them when they are old. I don’t know how possible that will be in my situation at 48 and him being five, time will tell. 
 

A friend of mine here who is 75 and you could possibly consider him wise as he has a few quid and was a former business owner in England now retired in Jomtien. When I was talking about the problems I had with my girlfriend he said “ Just leave her he’s not your kid is he ? Why are you bothered? Kids are resilient, he’ll soon forget you !  Thinking about how he’s only known me as his Dad for the last four plus years  I couldn’t help but wonder if he was a sociopath. And his wife had the same opinion too, although I’m positive she is evil. 
 

 

If this kid who isn't yours is what keeps you with your lady you're in for a world of hurt. Just leave. If it was your own biological kid I'd say different

 

[473geo]

2 hours ago, Adumbration said:

I seldom use the word "tool" as an insult for people who claim to speak the Thai language well. 

 

I mostly use it to describe expat cuckolds taking care of someone else's children.

You are in the wrong country, I would suggest Thailand is the hub of taking care of someone else's children, the majority of the caring done by elderly Thai ????

[473geo]

3 hours ago, Stevey said:

 
 

I believe your referring to my point how Isaan Mothers like to get involved with your kid.

 

At the start of this happening I would indulge these women and really saw nothing in what they were doing as a problem. But After a while and especially recently I have seen it not so much as taking an interest but total outright nosiness to the point of invasion of privacy.  

Take yesterday for example. It was so hot and about 11am little Dang and I popped out to the outskirts of the village to my Favourite Noodle shop. Ah ! Closed ! So we head into town. We found a noodle shop in the shade. I ordered guay Dtee-ow noodles in ‘ Good Thai ‘. To allay any confusion I even said “ 1 bowl 60 baht “ while Dang sat down.

We sit down waiting and over walks another lady who works in the shop. Another slightly fat late forties died hair no smile and looks like a handful in an argument. She points at Dang and  asks in the local language  “ what’s he having ? “ I answered “ I’ve ordered already “ She has another go and I reply again “ I’ve ordered already “ Much to the enjoyment of the sitting local patrons.  She got off. I stopped ordering food he doesn’t eat a while back and the cheek of these restaurants I go to with Dang who want to provide a tiny five years old with a full bowl of noodles galls me. Sixty baht is no small amount for people  on 300baht a day when they get work. So I see it as a total liberty and 9iss take. He can pick at mine while he plays Minecraft on his phone.

Dang sees a kid who belongs to the family of the shop so as usual end up going over and playing. It wasn’t long before the investigation starts. The word Falang came out of her mouth a couple of times and I could hear Dang giving all the usual answers in order as she progressed her interrogation in hushed tones. I called over in Thai “Mai Dtong Dtorp!” With a chuckle. 

We later ate again in another shop and again he got the third degree from another old Isaan Hag. They always want to know the village and the mothers name. I can understand making conversation, which they would Not do with the child of a Thai man in their shop but why do they need to know his moms name. I put my hand up like a police man halting 3 lanes of traffic as she started her questioning, she sheepishly skulked off. She knew that carrying out a full probe about my private life is not polite but they really think it’s not a problem if you can’t understand. 
 

But that’s  what they’re like. 

Well here's a thought, mature Thai women probably lived in the day where men had no idea how to care for children, indeed were probably given little opportunity to be involved 

Even young mothers were 'shut out' sent off to work as 'Yai' stacked the deck in her favour supported by family elders 

Seeing fathers with children is an increasing view, but their capabilities to care for children are undoubtedly brought into question, and underestimated, no surprise as they are mostly cast as providers 

[puchooay]

3 hours ago, Stevey said:

 
 

I believe your referring to my point how Isaan Mothers like to get involved with your kid.

 

At the start of this happening I would indulge these women and really saw nothing in what they were doing as a problem. But After a while and especially recently I have seen it not so much as taking an interest but total outright nosiness to the point of invasion of privacy.  

Take yesterday for example. It was so hot and about 11am little Dang and I popped out to the outskirts of the village to my Favourite Noodle shop. Ah ! Closed ! So we head into town. We found a noodle shop in the shade. I ordered guay Dtee-ow noodles in ‘ Good Thai ‘. To allay any confusion I even said “ 1 bowl 60 baht “ while Dang sat down.

We sit down waiting and over walks another lady who works in the shop. Another slightly fat late forties died hair no smile and looks like a handful in an argument. She points at Dang and  asks in the local language  “ what’s he having ? “ I answered “ I’ve ordered already “ She has another go and I reply again “ I’ve ordered already “ Much to the enjoyment of the sitting local patrons.  She got off. I stopped ordering food he doesn’t eat a while back and the cheek of these restaurants I go to with Dang who want to provide a tiny five years old with a full bowl of noodles galls me. Sixty baht is no small amount for people  on 300baht a day when they get work. So I see it as a total liberty and 9iss take. He can pick at mine while he plays Minecraft on his phone.

Dang sees a kid who belongs to the family of the shop so as usual end up going over and playing. It wasn’t long before the investigation starts. The word Falang came out of her mouth a couple of times and I could hear Dang giving all the usual answers in order as she progressed her interrogation in hushed tones. I called over in Thai “Mai Dtong Dtorp!” With a chuckle. 

We later ate again in another shop and again he got the third degree from another old Isaan Hag. They always want to know the village and the mothers name. I can understand making conversation, which they would Not do with the child of a Thai man in their shop but why do they need to know his moms name. I put my hand up like a police man halting 3 lanes of traffic as she started her questioning, she sheepishly skulked off. She knew that carrying out a full probe about my private life is not polite but they really think it’s not a problem if you can’t understand. 
 

But that’s  what they’re like. 

So far in this topic, every incident that occurs is the other person's fault.

 

Nothing to do with culture, the way people are, curiosity or YOU.

 

Time to take a long hard look at yourself. You clearly misunderstand most situations and are living in a life you don't understand. At 5 years old the boy will live on and move on. Object permanence is already present in his mind but can be lost over time. You said he foesnt speak English. You can't be having that much of an effect on him. He will move on and so should you. (If any of your tales actually occur).

Edited April 30, 2023 by puchooay

[LaosLover]

3 hours ago, Stevey said:

Most people who have kids get a net benefit in that they have some people about to take care of them when they are old. 
 

A friend of mine here said “ Just leave her he’s not your kid is he ? Why are you bothered? Kids are resilient, he’ll soon forget you !  
 

 

As Clint Eastwood said, "If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster".

 

I substantially helped raise 3 children via-step-parents arrangements. We're all 100% estranged. It's the outcome about 95% of the time: they stick with Mom -and Mom is done with you.

 

You will indeed be forgotten. It's nothing personal. That child will not be at your death bed. Be grateful for the love experience and get on with your life.

 

As to the rest of it, if you move to a poor, ultra-traditional place, there's going to be a lot of pettiness, resistance to outsiders and generalized, poor education dysfunction.

 

Hello? You moved to the Buddhist equivalent of the Bible Belt? I lived in Appalachia and I had all of the same complaints, except for the kiddy-fiddling part (but with Baptist dry drunks -who knows?).

[puchooay]

12 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

As Clint Eastwood said, "If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster".

 

I substantially helped raise 3 children via-step-parents arrangements. We're all 100% estranged. It's the outcome about 95% of the time: they stick with Mom -and Mom is done with you.

 

You will indeed be forgotten. It's nothing personal. That child will not be at your death bed. Be grateful for the love experience and get on with your life.

 

As to the rest of it, if you move to a poor, ultra-traditional place, there's going to be a lot of pettiness, resistance to outsiders and generalized, poor education dysfunction.

 

Hello? You moved to the Buddhist equivalent of the Bible Belt? I lived in Appalachia and I had all of the same complaints, except for the kiddy-fiddling part (but with Baptist dry drunks -who knows?).

Still banging the same drum, I see. Totally blind comments.

[LaosLover]

6 minutes ago, puchooay said:

Still banging the same drum

Seriously, what are the odds of this nice man attending Dang's 10th birthday party?

 

Or even his 6th?

Edited April 30, 2023 by LaosLover

[puchooay]

1 minute ago, LaosLover said:

Seriously, what are odds of this nice man attending Dang's 10th birthday party?

 

Or even his 6th?

I was referring to the second part of your post.

[LaosLover]

The second part of my post that says that modern people should tread lightly in very traditional places and expect some judgement along the way?

[Stevey]

18 minutes ago, puchooay said:

So far in this topic, every incident that occurs is the other person's fault.

 

Nothing to do with culture, the way people are, curiosity or YOU.

 

Time to take a long hard look at yourself. You clearly misunderstand most situations and are living in a life you don't understand. At 5 years old the boy will live on and move on. Object permanence is already present in his mind but can be lost over time. You said he foesnt speak English. You can't be having that much of an effect on him. He will move on and so should you. (If any of your tales actually occur).

You seem very forthright and sure you have all the answers. Are you a sociapath ? Or maybe you that manager type so full of your own self confidence that you believe you have the answer, while the experienced guys watch the job fall to bits. 
 

So let’s get it straight. You’re suggesting I leave him alone to get schooled by the next door neighbours farm labourer friends all 40 plus with old  knackered two stroke bikes who hang out next door drinking Lao Kao and smoking Ganga. Not bad lads but you’re suggesting they can guide him better than me ? I’m a multi skilled engineer and can put him in any direction he chooses. 
 

Also what will I move onto after I’ve ditched him. Him asking his mom “ Mair where’s Stebe ? “ “He’s not coming back Dang “ . “ Mair ? Why ? “ “ Coz a Sociopath on AN gave a perfectly sensible suggestion that because I can be a total idiot from time to time he should leave and not return “ .. “ But Mair I liked Stebe and he was teaching me English now that I’m interested coz of all the new words i here on YouTube “ “ Don’t worry about him now , go next door and seek guidance from the lads” “ The laoKao boys ?” .. “Yes” 

 

And about me. So I suppose I get on the dating sites or maybe meet young ukuleleian girl displaced from the proxy war while I’m getting a machine fixed in a food factory in the UK. 
 

 

And don’t worry about his English he’s coming along fine. ????

[Pink Mist]

Reported troll post has been removed.

[GinBoy2]

After three pages of this, it's left even more confused about the point of any of it.

[puchooay]

9 minutes ago, Stevey said:

You seem very forthright and sure you have all the answers. Are you a sociapath ? Or maybe you that manager type so full of your own self confidence that you believe you have the answer, while the experienced guys watch the job fall to bits. 
 

So let’s get it straight. You’re suggesting I leave him alone to get schooled by the next door neighbours farm labourer friends all 40 plus with old  knackered two stroke bikes who hang out next door drinking Lao Kao and smoking Ganga. Not bad lads but you’re suggesting they can guide him better than me ? I’m a multi skilled engineer and can put him in any direction he chooses. 
 

Also what will I move onto after I’ve ditched him. Him asking his mom “ Mair where’s Stebe ? “ “He’s not coming back Dang “ . “ Mair ? Why ? “ “ Coz a Sociopath on AN gave a perfectly sensible suggestion that because I can be a total idiot from time to time he should leave and not return “ .. “ But Mair I liked Stebe and he was teaching me English now that I’m interested coz of all the new words i here on YouTube “ “ Don’t worry about him now , go next door and seek guidance from the lads” “ The laoKao boys ?” .. “Yes” 

 

And about me. So I suppose I get on the dating sites or maybe meet young ukuleleian girl displaced from the proxy war while I’m getting a machine fixed in a food factory in the UK. 
 

 

And don’t worry about his English he’s coming along fine. ????

Interesting. Insulting others just because they try to advise you which, I believe, is why you posted.

 

By the way, you mentioned earlier that little Dang doesn't speak any English. ????