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Your Thai Tales And The Scars To Prove Them

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Yo, Jet.

I'll kick off with one of my many misadventures.

I'm usually politely described as accident prone (meaning a klutz).

After a tremendous downpour in Pattaya I had some fun carrying little Thai women across a a flooded street.

The Thais thought this was great of course and applauded, as did the hotel staff.

The hotel was partially flooded too and on the way to my room I lost my footing in the knee deep water, surfed on my face along the corridor and hit a wall with my face.

My glasses (fortunately plastic lenses) were smashed and a piece of plastic narrowly missed my eye and lodged in the bone.

There was no chance of getting to a clinic but all the Thais crowded round, fighting to administer first aid.

The manager was called from home and was quick to explain that I couldn't claim damages, which I hadn't considered anyway.

The bottom line, I walked around Pattaya for a week with a brilliant black eye and all the Thai boys shouted "Respect", thinking I must be a hard street fighter.

10 days later when I went to check out and pay up, the manager whispered something to the receptionist and she wrote off the bill.

The manager simply said, "Sorry, I hope you'll stay here again".

I only have one scar of any significance, happened when I was 15 years old via an operation.

One that is particularly popular with the Jewish community.

I don't think a picture would be allowed :o

15 years old Thaddeus? That's bloody painful mate!

Ill come back with my story after a few others have posted.

have to see which level of outrageousness I should display here :o

I only have one scar of any significance, happened when I was 15 years old via an operation.

One that is particularly popular with the Jewish community.

I don't think a picture would be allowed :o

My word.

You had your arms shortened. That's brave

Respect.

15 years old Thaddeus? That's bloody painful mate!

Yes it was, I learned the phrase "can you take away the pain but leave the swelling" at a very early age.

The two worse aspects at the time for me were.

1. My mother came to collect me and she asked the Ward Sister if I had been a good boy (I had been put on he men's ward, a little bit too old for the kiddies ward, I was between two stools for them) ........ "oh yes, he's been an angel, didn't even ask for pain-killers" ... at which point I thought.... "pain-killers, never heard those words before, but I can guess.... I could have asked for them?... thanks for not telling me)

2. Pre-op .... ever had your undercarriage shaved by a very young and very attractive Catholic nurse? ... I was whistling, looking at the ceiling and trying to remember the Liverpool FC line-up from the previous season..... she was very professional and gave me a warm smile on those accidental eye-contact incidents, I still remember her face. (actually, that wasn't so bad thinking about it now, at the time it was)

I would like to re-evaluate this after typing it up .... only the pain was bad. Some people pay for the second item I believe :o

I had a bike crash in Samui in April 06 which landed me in hospital for a few days and no walking or movement for a few days. I had to have my hip drained and they gave me the options of: do nothing and it could take months, a (whopping) big cut to guarantee all the blood was removed, or a small incision (3 stitches) and a vacuum bottle attached for a few days. What choices?!? I went for the later and was glad, I hope this post-op photo uploads okay.

You can just see the 3 stitches if you look carefully. Before the op my hip was the size of a foootball!!!

post-16888-1183933711_thumb.jpg

  • Author

Oh, OUCH. That must have hurt, Tiggy! Thank the lords you got the infection out. Mrs Tiggy must have been frantic. Glad nothing was broken.

Two friends were in a bike accident one NY's eve. Truck wiped then out near the Health Oasis corner on Samui. They were loaded in the back of a truck and taken to Nathon hospital where they had to wait until the docs came on shift at 8am for pain killers and treatment. The English lass had a broken tibia, pelvis and many cuts and bruises, including a huge wound on her forehead. Her Thai friend was in a leg cage with screws for a couple of years. Both walk with a limp and her bad leg is shorter than the other.

Tiger's wounds remind me of a Japanese girl I saw in a hotel foyer on Phuket. She was in shorts and singlet and every inch of exposed flesh that wasn't bandaged was still scraped and bruised. She must have come of her motorcycle and slid and rolled for a 100 meters.

My hide is like a patchwork quilt, I've genuinely lost count of the stitches I've had over a 50 year period, but I've never had an accident in Asia. I'm super careful, fully aware of the consequences and the standard of treatment that may be available.

Now diseases are another matter, and you definitely would NOT want to see the photos.

When I was living on Koh Tao about 5 years ago I got bitten by a mosquito on my shin, sounds pretty harmless. Anyway I scratched it a bit and carried on my routine of diving every day. Within a week or so it became badly infected by nasty bacteria in the sea. Now I have a bloody hole on my shin!! LOL.

Similar.

While tromping over my building site small bite on the back of the heel. Rubbed by shoes into a bit of an abrasion. Two days later poison line up the thigh to the groin. A wake in hospital, Doc states lucky I went in, one more day........ joy for the wife, funeral for me.

Similar.

While tromping over my building site small bite on the back of the heel. Rubbed by shoes into a bit of an abrasion. Two days later poison line up the thigh to the groin. A wake in hospital, Doc states lucky I went in, one more day........ joy for the wife, funeral for me.

A bite from what? It sounds really nasty!

Similar.

While tromping over my building site small bite on the back of the heel. Rubbed by shoes into a bit of an abrasion. Two days later poison line up the thigh to the groin. A wake in hospital, Doc states lucky I went in, one more day........ joy for the wife, funeral for me.

A bite from what? It sounds really nasty!

Ant. Not to diminish his pain and suffering of course ! Bet he was going around with a baseball bat looking for the <deleted> ! Course they're notoriously difficult to tell apart.

:o

I once , in a moment of advanced drunkeness and stupidity , did a little damage to my right hand.

I didn't think too much of it at the time but the discomfort kept me awake just about the entire night.

The following day I headed off to the hospital to have it checked out ( OK I ain't as tough as Roadkill by a country mile!).

X-ray showed a broken bone so then they want to put a cast on it. Now I'm thinking about the problems of having my right fore-arm in a cast for three months vis a vis the day job I have to go back to in 5 days (I was freelance so nocanwork = nocanpay) so I NEGOCIATE with the doctor. In my experience you can not do this in Europe - expect a doctor to take your personal constraints into consideration. Thai medicine ROCKS ! We end up with a "removable" cast which doesn't go all round the arm (pitta bread sandwich if you will) which could be removed for briefer then longer periods as the fracture healed.

There was a brief problem with this because this seemed to necessitate the doctor kneading and moulding the plaster with his fingers to my damaged hand. At this point I began to feel nauseous. Now it could have been the sleepless night , or the remnants of the Changover or even the sight of the cleaner mopping the blood off the floor from the previous night's customers but I am convinced it was caused by that well meaning doctor squeezing my broken bone as he moulded that plaster. Fair play to him , when I told him I thought I might be about to be sick he had a minion bring a bucket over.

Let me say that overall the service received was excellent (I was in an out and plastered within two hours - would have been more like two days in France) and the bill was what you would pay a GP to prescribe aspirin in Europe.

There is a slight downside. When I returned to France I was only able to stay overnight at the house because the following day I had to drive to Antwerp for the day job. This I managed (although the paw did become more and more painful on the trip and by the time I was going round the ring road at Brussels I could no longer stuff it in 5th gear and had to continue in 4th). I continued to neglect my injury , and here is the tragic part.

In all my time in Thailand I had become quite good at that bar game with the wooden blocks. It was some bar lady that I couldn't beat or hold to a draw. My reduced dexterity puts that in the past.

I COULD'VE BEEN A CONTENDER !

:o

I had a bad accident once with my legs. Unfortunatley they had to remove both legs and now i have wooden one's. :o

Fortunatley they managed to save my feet. :D

After the op i asked the doc if i would be able to dance. He said "yes of course". I said "great, cos i couldn't dance before"

I love the old un's :D

Yes the old ones are the best!

One from the jokes section...

An Irishman an Englishman and a Scotsman walked into a bar and the barman asked "Is this some kind of joke?"

Well it tickled me!

Similar.

While tromping over my building site small bite on the back of the heel. Rubbed by shoes into a bit of an abrasion. Two days later poison line up the thigh to the groin. A wake in hospital, Doc states lucky I went in, one more day........ joy for the wife, funeral for me.

A bite from what? It sounds really nasty!

Just a common or garden little bite. ( could well have been a Bas$%^d ant. I'll get my gun and go back )

The thing that did the damage was the rubbing the top off bit. Allowed some form of unrelated nasty to get in the blood stream

Was having a bit of a "discussion" with the missus, Thai, one evening after a few bevvies and as I was on the losing end as usual I thought I'd add a bit of drama into the proceedings. So I grabbed the old machete we used for trimming the trees and waved it in her general direction. She did the sensible thing and disarmed me, not too difficult, and the waved it back at me. Being a bit p1ssed I stepped forward instead of back and caught a crack on me napper (head). Fortunately the blade was as blunt as a butter knife but it still opened a one inch crack in my scalp so I ended up at the hospital looking like a Rwandan refugee. We had a good laugh about it later on and threw that old machete away.

I only have one scar of any significance, happened when I was 15 years old via an operation.

One that is particularly popular with the Jewish community.

I don't think a picture would be allowed :D

My word.

You had your arms shortened. That's brave

Respect.

Who nose?! Nobody nose?

:o

Bunch of wimps! I drove over a cliff 2 mths ago... no scars, but a big dent in my soul. Saw one of my Burmese rescuers last week, his wave and grin brought sunshine through the rain clouds :o

  • Author

What were you on, Khall? hehe Glad you're ok.

Now we have sun here, I found my scorpion scar (it never tans). Pea-sized on the back of my ankle. Brings back fond memories of all the young folks I knew back then on KPN, and two German nurses who used to throw me on a table face down everyday to dress the wound, which of course was infected. And one dear old Thai worker, ugly as sin and poor as a beach dog, but always with a smile and a wave for me; he came over daily to inspect my bite and after a few days, looked at it, sucked in his breath and made a cutting action against his own leg. F*, we had a good laugh.

Bunch of wimps! I drove over a cliff 2 mths ago... no scars, but a big dent in my soul.

You were in reverse gear then .... not a closet Italian by any chance? :o

am still checking this thread to see if I can hear/read some outrageous stories... :bah:

not quite yet :bah:

cmon people.....

ok Ill start with some of my tamer ones:

1. A friend dragged me on this bush-walking thing unprepared....we were relaxing at a nice little cottage..having English scone...then he says yeh we are going walking..I think hes kidding.....its rainy season..Im not quite dressed for 'a walk'...blah blah..anyhow 15minutes later I realise hes serious...as he pulls up the car and parks at the start of the trail.....so in I go......relatively easy walk......not long.........a while later we are back at the other end of the trail not far from where the car is parked. We get to car...start removing shoes (my shoes are now too dirty for his wonderful car ofcourse :o ) ...and well next thing Im like ohhh whats that on my ankle! and ohhhhh but wait...heres an even bigger black something!! and YUK!!!! that was my first leech experience!! being the silly me...forgetting everything else...I pull the thing off my foot!!! how lucky I was that they werent too big yet....otherwise would have been a far more painful experience..not to mention a much bigger scar :D

.....I did my best to check for any other unwanted creature (EWWW!!)...changed my shoes...and also jeans and checked YET AGAIN! :D by this point I had become paranoia.....so much so that I kept feeling there was something on some part of my body eventhough there was none. we were at this point in the car driving back to town....on some really windy road if I may add......(I dont do well on windy roads to begin with.....)

why am I still going on and on you might ask? well heres my confession......we had an opened bottle of wine in the car from the night before (didnt quite finish half the second bottle)....so to calm my nerves down I decided Id have to make use of the wine :D so there I was...early afternoon, in a car coming down windy roads swigging red wine......in half hour I finished more than 2/3rd of the bottle :o

that was the one and only time I drank by myself and in the midst of the day too :D (was good wine I have to add...not that it made much difference at that point I think....)

so thats my story No.1 If theres interest I may post my other silly acts.....and promise not to make them this long ;) Cant say if they are less boring though.....

I was out on the prowl one night, looking for some hot action.

Found a cute Thai guy, looking hot to trot, and cooking up a storm.

I got my order of noodles and took them back to my condo.

Wild times!

What were you on, Khall? hehe Glad you're ok.

Now we have sun here, I found my scorpion scar (it never tans). Pea-sized on the back of my ankle. Brings back fond memories of all the young folks I knew back then on KPN, and two German nurses who used to throw me on a table face down everyday to dress the wound, which of course was infected. And one dear old Thai worker, ugly as sin and poor as a beach dog, but always with a smile and a wave for me; he came over daily to inspect my bite and after a few days, looked at it, sucked in his breath and made a cutting action against his own leg. F*, we had a good laugh.

KHALL!!! <deleted>?!!!! You never told em about this!? Are you MAD!!! DON#t drive again/ Stay home, in bed. I'll be along shortly/

KHALL!!! <deleted>?!!!! You never told em about this!? Are you MAD!!! DON#t drive again/ Stay home, in bed. I'll be along shortly/

Refer to this thread

My Brush with Death

I don't have any. Cawbie does. Come on, tell us some gory stories! Show a pic if you have one.

Sorry Jet - didn't see this thread until just now.

One of my injuries was a very painful and bruised (black) set of genitals. Why you ask? or perhaps it is too much information. Whatever, when I went with my partner to check on the bike being repaired the mechanic said to her (in Thai) that her boyfriend (me) must be "very strong" and made the universal sign of a clenched fist with his forearm pointing upward. She didn't understand and so he took her over to the bike. At the back of the petrol tank is a vertical dent which looks like a cylinder. Caused by a particularly sensitive part of my anatomy. He pointed at the dent and laughed then pointed at his groin. She went bright red and had to walk over to the other side of the street while all the mechanics fell about in hysterics.

They asked if I wanted to have the tank replaced but I decided to keep as is as a momento of what could have been much worse.

CB

LOL a trophy more like! Hang it on the wall! :o

I am hoping you mean the tank!

:D

When I get the camera charged up I will post a photo - could have been worse, could have punched a hole in the back of the tank instead

CB

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