How to deal with an overwhelmingly negative opinion of Thai people.

[mania]

2 hours ago, bogs smith said:

this is NOT a thai bashing thread, so please dont treat it as such.

 

2 hours ago, bogs smith said:

 but all my hundreds of negative interactions with the locals over the years has shaped my outlook of them and it isnt positive.

All righty then

[Dan O]

10 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

two wrongs dont make a right, do they?

 

discrimination is discrimination and can happen to anyone regardless of the color of their skin! 

Nowhere in what you wrote shows any discrimination so you may want to review your thoughts.

 

It seems more like your focused on negative actions to the point that anything that happens you automatically associate it to discrimnation against you.

 

Focus on your own actions and don't worry about what others do as they may be reacting for different reasons than your imagining. 

[Gecko123]

 

 

2 hours ago, bogs smith said:

black people were treated in pretty much the same way as we are

Comparing your petty culture shock grievances to what black people experience back home is offensive. Rosa Parks, you're not. Next time someone declines the opportunity to sit next to you, grab them by the seat of the pants and make them sit back down.

 

Or maybe get some buddies together, start a race riot, fire bomb some coffee shops, a baht bus or two. Finding some tiki torches shouldn't be too tough, you can probably make them homemade. Rampage down Main Street chanting 'Thais will not replace us!!!' Tell them you're mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. Make that impassioned speech about 'if I cut my finger, do I not bleed?' 

 

Or maybe you can make an effort to stop seeing yourself as a victim, start realizing that it's you who is going to have to adapt, not the other way around. Yeah, learning the language is a good start. One positive suggestion I would make is that if you're regularly experiencing what you believe are negative interactions with Thais, you might want to keep a log to see if there are any repetitive patterns, and analyze why the interaction was poor in order to avoid repeating the pattern, and if you know you are going to be going into a situation which might be challenging, plan ahead how you could react to make the experience as positive as possible. 

 

The foreigners on this forum who bellyache about how discriminated against and hated they are in Thailand always seem to relish the opportunity to play the racial victim. The phrase "when you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression" comes to mind.

[bob smith]

hey mods, i hope that you are reading this. I came here for help/advice and so far i have been labelled smelly, agressive and a white supremasist.

 

this is a prime example of how an honest thread regularly gets hijacked by resident aseannow thai apologists.

 

its ridiculous.

[bob smith]

6 minutes ago, Dan O said:

Focus on your own actions and don't worry about what others do as they may be reacting for different reasons than your imagining. 

you may be right.

 

i kinda doubt it tho

[Kwasaki]

2 hours ago, bogs smith said:

this is NOT a thai bashing thread, so please dont treat it as such. I am looking for advice on how to deal with these feelings

You are the problem and keep looking for it.

[bob smith]

1 minute ago, Kwasaki said:

You are the problem and keep looking for it.

wow.

 

how do you know that?

[Dan O]

51 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

dont thais have a simialr attitude toward cambodian/lao/burmese people? 

 

perhaps their dislike for us is rooted in the fact that they feel inferior to foreigners because they know they are not above us in the world pecking order?

 

if thats the case then it aint my fault i was born with white skin! 

Do you have a filter in your brain that checks what you think before you write it? 

 

Read your own comments and responses as if someone else wrote them and I think you will see most of the discrimination is within you and your projecting it to others 

[proton]

30 minutes ago, marin said:

You as the OP seem to have a chip on your shoulder. Who is being rude, racist, and trying to cheat you? Sad to live abroad and wake up each day feel like this. What is the point? 

No chip at all, just not a starry eyed Thaicentric worshiper. I mentioned a few examples from years ago, I did not claim the were everyday events. If you have lived here years and claim you have never been treated differently due to race, or never been cheated you have not been paying attention.

[bob smith]

6 minutes ago, proton said:

No chip at all, just not a starry eyed Thaicentric worshiper. I mentioned a few examples from years ago, I did not claim the were everyday events. If you have lived here years and claim you have never been treated differently due to race, or never been cheated you have not been paying attention.

 sometimes the truth hurts and people just cant seem to accept that this kind of thing goes on in the country they reside. 

[FritsSikkink]

1 hour ago, bogs smith said:

perhaps their dislike for us is rooted in the fact that they feel inferior to foreigners because they know they are not above us in the world pecking order?

 

if thats the case then it aint my fault i was born with white skin! 

There you go, the racist white (not deserved) superiority kicks in. 

[bob smith]

6 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

There you go, the racist white (not deserved) superiority kicks in. 

are they above us in the world pecking order??

 

arent thais constantly sizing people up in terms of age, rank, social status etc??

 

i thought that was a (rather ugly) facet of thai culture?

[FritsSikkink]

26 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

wow.

 

how do you know that?

We can read your comments.

[FritsSikkink]

15 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

 sometimes the truth hurts and people just cant seem to accept that this kind of thing goes on in the country they reside. 

Yes, there are far too much racist foreigners around. There are also racist Thais of course. 

[Purdey]

A lot of the problems for Thais with westerners began during the Vietnam war when Americans here would try to pick up women wherever they went. There was an assumption that Thais would do anything for money. Of course, Thais resented this. 

My wife was in Krabi many years ago and an old American man accompanied by his old Thai origin wife were getting out of a tourist boat. There were two local fishermen watching the 80 year olds clamber out and she overheard them say, "Look at her she's so old but can still sell herself." 

After that my wife won't hold hands in Thailand except to cross the street because she feels people will stare at her thinking she's on the game. 

Another point would be the size of westerners. Scrunching up next to a large westerner on a bus can feel uncomfortable.

As others have said, smiling at people is one way of making them feel better.

Moving seats or tables away from you is perhaps their way of giving you space. Personal space for friends and relatives is very small but for strangers it is further away.

Lastly, make an attempt to learn basic Thai is helpful. Then when someone gives you space you can smile and say "thanks"  or "no need to move." Again, it depends on how big you are. 

[FritsSikkink]

6 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

are they above us in the world pecking order??

 

You can't help yourself, can you.  

[h90]

3 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

are they above us in the world pecking order??

 

arent thais constantly sizing people up in terms of age, rank, status etc??

 

i thought that was a (rather ugly) facet of thai culture?

Who is us? Americans? They just had a black president. Pretty much second in everything is China. These who show most rich often as tourists are Arabs, but also there are well off Japanese.

I don't feel like I belong to the ruler race of the planet....or if I do they cheated me...as it needed 2 generation to work ourself out of being complete poor to something like middle class only.

[sirineou]

2 hours ago, bogs smith said:

then a thai woman approcached and noticed there was a farang sat on the table next to hers. she immediately picked up her drinks and moved to another table accross the room.

Ok so you already made the assumption, that she moved because , X Y or Z , but you don't really know why, do  you?  

2 hours ago, bogs smith said:

on the bus on threir way home, there was only 1 seat available so i sat down. the man got up from his seat and stood up instead of having to sit next to a farang. 

Perhaps you need to bathe more? 

Sorry I could not resist. It has never happened to me .But I bathe often????

But there could had been many reasons why the above happened, other than they got up because they don't like you. 

It is possible that  because of how you feel, you ascribe negative connotations.You see things in a negative fashion. 

  Perhaps you are depressed. No disrespect intended , but depresion colors your world dark. It is a condition we all deal with from time to time ..So perhaps something to consider. 

  But even paranoids have real enemies

So then again, there are Thai aholes also, no need to paint all Thais with the same brush. 

I notice that when go some place with my wife, Thais interact with my wife rather than with me, that's not because they dont like me,(they dont know me) but some of them are shy, and others had negative interactions with other farangs and rathe not having to deal with you.

But don't discount the body odor hypothesis ????

2 hours ago, bogs smith said:

should we remian positive? should we remain respectful at all times?

Yes you should. As much as you might want to , you cant control how others are, But you can control how you are.You do the right thing and stop worrying about other people. 

 

2 hours ago, bogs smith said:

I am looking for advice on how to deal with these feelings

My advise is :

People find whatever they are looking for. If you are looking for negativity, trust me! that's all you will find.  There will always be negativity. you cant escape from it, all you can do is ignore,perhapse compensate for it,  but  don't let it color your world.

Read this again, and then print this and hung it on a wall where you will see it every day. 

When you meet someone be gregarious . Again remember people like , people that like them, But also remember , you can not make everyone like you. Imposible!! 

2 hours ago, bogs smith said:

and before anyone says i should just leave. no, that is not an opition. for better or for worse i am stuck here.

Change that attitude. You are not stuck here!! you are lucky to be here!! do you know how many people would give the right arm to be where you are?

                                              --------------

I apologies for my previous terse  replies, I also failed to take my own advice

But to my defence, ir is a long OP and I am lazy.

,Almost 20 years here (few problems) , and it grinds my gears when people try to belittle Thais, I thought this was some of that ,and I was a bit terse .

Good luck

 

[h90]

1 hour ago, bogs smith said:

so personal appearance takes precedance over basic human decency? 

 

are people really that shallow here??

yes if someone looks very weird I also move away before I get in troubles. Not because someone wears a short trouser in a restaurant, but if it is extreme.

[BritManToo]

25 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

 sometimes the truth hurts and people just cant seem to accept that this kind of thing goes on in the country they reside. 

I've never cared one way or the other.

If people that left school at age 12, know nothing about anything, can't earn 10kbht/month, are bossed around and slapped by their 'higher classes' and kneel to dodgy monks every day want to think themselves in some way superior to me, let them!

[bob smith]

Just now, BritManToo said:

I've never care one way or the other.

If people that left school at age 12, can't earn 10kbht/month, are bossed around and slapped by their 'higher classes' and kneel to dodgy monks every day want to think themselves in some way superior to me, let them!

good point.

[Felton Jarvis]

I understand your feelings but I have just learned to ignore it over the past eight years. I expect to be relocating to Cambodia as soon as my Thai GF dumps me.  It’s coming, because the entire Thai culture is looking for a better deal.  This is not the place to live if you are looking for sincerity and true love.

[bob smith]

3 minutes ago, Felton Jarvis said:

I understand your feelings but I have just learned to ignore it over the past eight years. I expect to be relocating to Cambodia as soon as my Thai GF dumps me.  It’s coming, because the entire Thai culture is looking for a better deal.  This is not the place to live if you are looking for sincerity and true love.

how i wish i was in your shoes, sir. 

 

best of luck to you. cambodia sounds great to me. the camobians i have met in thailand have all been really genuine and down to earth. 

 

hope it all works out for you there 

[digbeth]

having a shower and putting on a shirt helps

[Felton Jarvis]

14 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I've never cared one way or the other.

If people that left school at age 12, know nothing about anything, can't earn 10kbht/month, are bossed around and slapped by their 'higher classes' and kneel to dodgy monks every day want to think themselves in some way superior to me, let them!

The best and most accurate post on this thread.  Bravo, mate!!!

[NanLaew]

2 hours ago, bogs smith said:

i dont know how this kind of thing affects you but it actually hurts me. then the hurt quickly turns to anger and I have a strong urge to reprimand the culprit, but i never do. 

Yes, you do have a problem with the locals. Note I said that YOU have a problem and NOT the locals.

[NanLaew]

2 hours ago, sirineou said:

First . I am 66 years old and I did not want to spend what little life I have left reading  this long op dietribe .

So from what little I have read i would say.

It's not that you think that Thais are so bad, but that you  think that you are sooo much better. Simply an attempt to, than rather invest in making yourself better, trying to make everyone else seem worst. 

 

This attitude manifests in subtle ways in everything you say and do , and regardless what you think  Thais are not stupid. . They can sense your attitude, and behave accordingly.

  People don't like people that dont like them. That is true for them, is true for you and it's true for me. 

Change you attitude, and change your perspective ,Climb a hill and you will see the forest from the trees. 

Chock dee

You listening @proton?

[bob smith]

4 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

Yes, you do have a problem with the locals. Note I said that YOU have a problem and NOT the locals.

i think you are mistaken.

[proton]

35 minutes ago, Purdey said:

A lot of the problems for Thais with westerners began during the Vietnam war when Americans here would try to pick up women wherever they went. There was an assumption that Thais would do anything for money. Of course, Thais resented this. 

My wife was in Krabi many years ago and an old American man accompanied by his old Thai origin wife were getting out of a tourist boat. There were two local fishermen watching the 80 year olds clamber out and she overheard them say, "Look at her she's so old but can still sell herself." 

After that my wife won't hold hands in Thailand except to cross the street because she feels people will stare at her thinking she's on the game. 

Another point would be the size of westerners. Scrunching up next to a large westerner on a bus can feel uncomfortable.

As others have said, smiling at people is one way of making them feel better.

Moving seats or tables away from you is perhaps their way of giving you space. Personal space for friends and relatives is very small but for strangers it is further away.

Lastly, make an attempt to learn basic Thai is helpful. Then when someone gives you space you can smile and say "thanks"  or "no need to move." Again, it depends on how big you are. 

Your wife wont hold your hand in public because people might think she's on the game, maybe it's more that you look like a sex tourist, do you walk around in those cargo shorts and singlets? ????

[proton]

7 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

You listening @proton?

You read on here, not listen and there are always the in denial Thai excusers here who pretend there is nothing bad with the society or behaviour, yet you only have to drive down the road to see that's not the case. Probably some will post, well iv'e been here 35 years and never seen any accident or bad driving, Thais are some of the best drivers in the world, it must be you!