How to deal with an overwhelmingly negative opinion of Thai people.

[Hummin]

29 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Well I have said this before, I don't expect everyone to be happy every day, thus sometimes people will walk ride past me and not even look my way so no greeting 

Next day all genuine smiles, day after forced smile 

It's life guys, don't pretend it doesn't happen 

But lets not take it too seriously just get on with your own life ????

 

 

with a genuin smile and apperance, you will see people smile back at you. My surroundings feedback is very much based on my apperance, and not the way around. 

[richard_smith237]

38 minutes ago, Hummin said:

When you build something based on entertainment needs especially aimed at foreigners, and adopt to those needs, I guess you are as far from the original thainess as possible. Im not going to argue with you, but still. 

 

We have been travelling alot more where thai people have spent their holidays the last years, and it is different from all other cities where you find the majority of visitors being foreigners. 

 

We might find changes now, as more Thai people travel to typical tourist places? 

I agree, they are different.

But I wouldn't attempt to 'lump' Pattaya in as being 'non-Thai' because of its tourist orientated areas, there are many very 'Thai' neighbourhoods, just as there are very 'international entertainment districts within the city....   

 

If someone only visits such places and only see's the Tourist area's I can understand why that is their opinion of the area or town they've visited. 

 

I also agree that 'holiday areas' such as Khao Yai are quite different from Phuket's Patong and Pattaya's walking street...    

 

 

I sometimes think some people have this nostalgic vision of Thailand of being them the novelty Westerner in an area where there is no electricity, where women wear sarongs and wash under buckets of the water at the side of their farm house...   and they can regale their Hemingway-esque tails upon their return to the motherland in their Khaki's... 

.... And......  when they find the reality is lightyears away from this ideal vision they settle for the 'Little Britain' approach of being the 'Only Gay in the Village' and set their sights on going as far away as other westerners as they can possibly get.... they can then say appreciate themselves and think...  "ooooh... yess.... Livingstone, I'm well off the beaten track now".....   

Then its... "ohh... ... what's that Johnny foreigner doing eating in my Moo-ka-ta-shack"....  

 

 

Edited June 26, 2023 by richard_smith237

[Sticky Rice Balls]

Im happy when <deleted> get up and move away from me..saves me the trouble....

 

reminds me on a flight some old lady wouldnt sit next to a jewish kid....he sat with me and we shared the drink coupons i found in the airport.....he said she offered him $100 to move..I told him im always happy to take money from such people.....

 

now I can enjoy future events drinking bud light and eating at cracker barrel knowing no ignorant Maga are anywhere near me, ruining my night out...

 

as for the seat gives me room to stretch out in those already cramped seats....as i will be heading to burma on a 5 hr bus this week......hope they give up their seat next to me!

[Gecko123]

44 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Well I have said this before, I don't expect everyone to be happy every day, thus sometimes people will walk ride past me and not even look my way so no greeting 

Next day all genuine smiles, day after forced smile 

It's life guys, don't pretend it doesn't happen 

But lets not take it too seriously just get on with your own life ????

You may have hit on something there. Thailand isn't Truman World. If you have spend a lot of time in entertainment districts where people are constantly calling out your name, and trying to wheedle something out of you with false flattery and over friendliness, you can start to get the idea that the only reason they're there is for your amusement and entertainment. But get away from these zones, and you are reminded that everyday people have their own worries and preoccupations and don't necessarily feel obligated to put on a happy face for someone outside their circle of acquaintances. That goes for both other Thais and foreigners. If I show friendliness, it's almost always reciprocated, and I would say Thais are some of the most approachable people I've ever known. In contrast, most of the foreign men I've encountered over the years here are guarded, not especially friendly, frequently displaying borderline anti-social behavior.

[zyphodb]

7 hours ago, bogs smith said:

so personal appearance takes precedance over basic human decency? 

 

are people really that shallow here??

Aren't they everywhere?

[JimTripper]

It’s probably location.

Time to move North. Try Chiang Mai / Chiang Rai. Unless things have drastically changed the past three years people are much nicer up there. I think it’s because it’s cooler or more Lao influence in the culture.

 

I got real negative when I moved south. Attitude is very different.

Edited June 26, 2023 by JimTripper

[bob smith]

Just now, JimTripper said:

It’s probably location.

Time to move North. Try Chiang Mai / Chiang Rai. Unless things have drastically changed the past three years people are much nicer up there. I think it’s because it’s cooler or more Lao influence in the culture.

what about the smog though? must be like smoking 2 packs a day livin up there .

[473geo]

40 minutes ago, Hummin said:

with a genuin smile and apperance, you will see people smile back at you. My surroundings feedback is very much based on my apperance, and not the way around. 

Not if someone or something distracts them and you don't catch their eye, people can have other things on their mind than a passing farang 

At least that's the way I see it 

Good luck to you if uou meet happy sociable people every day I don't expect to be the main attraction and it proves to be so 

[JimTripper]

3 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

what about the smog though? must be like smoking 2 packs a day livin up there .

That’s true. Pick your poison I guess. 

[Sticky Rice Balls]

8 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

You may have hit on something there. Thailand isn't Truman World. If you have spend a lot of time in entertainment districts where people are constantly calling out your name, and trying to wheedle something out of you with false flattery and over friendliness, you can start to get the idea that the only reason they're there is for your amusement and entertainment. But get away from these zones, and you are reminded that everyday people have their own worries and preoccupations and don't necessarily feel obligated to put on a happy face for someone outside their circle of acquaintances. That goes for both other Thais and foreigners. If I show friendliness, it's almost always reciprocated, and I would say Thais are some of the most approachable people I've ever known. In contrast, most of the foreign men I've encountered over the years here are guarded, not especially friendly, frequently displaying borderline anti-social behavior.

agreed as ive lived in CM and non tourist areas......and people are people..some good and some bad....has been a drain on the world post covid and inflation...almost every thai i encounter has money issues..oddly i have a good thai male friend and he is constantly worried about money issues......and hes a smart guy---also with thais still wearing masks id wager they still seem to have some covid concerns from "outsiders"  we will always be outsiders in the thai bubble world

 

and i engage with nicer thais more than I do back in my own toxic divided country.....I spend time with my thai friend and his mom daily....wave to my motorbike mechanic daily and greet the fruit lady and her hubby every night..and many other thais who have engaged with me and smile...

 

also reminds me of the OP here who moaned about being asked to wear a mask on a flight by a thai and ignoring that simple basic request......

[marin]

22 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

You may have hit on something there. Thailand isn't Truman World. If you have spend a lot of time in entertainment districts where people are constantly calling out your name, and trying to wheedle something out of you with false flattery and over friendliness, you can start to get the idea that the only reason they're there is for your amusement and entertainment.

This is very true indeed. It also is the reason that the people who decide to stay and make Thailand their home in general move out of these areas. I have been in the northern Bangkok suburbs for over 30 years now and have many wonderful Thai friends. I look forward to getting up and joining my "walk/jog" gang at 630 am for our daily early exercise. Big smiles and hellos each day as we pass each others houses on our way to the park. I started out alone 7 years ago and now there are 20-25 people out daily.  Something I do look forward to. Your life here is what you make of it. 

 

OP, You wrote:

Time to move North. Try Chiang Mai / Chiang Rai. Unless things have drastically changed the past three years people are much nicer up there. I think it’s because it’s cooler or more Lao influence in the culture.

 

This is a very good indication you have not taken the time to learn anything about Thailand or its culture.   The north is from Lanna ancestry not Lao. The Lao influence comes from Isaan, the northeast of Thailand. Their foods and language are very different from each other.

 

Edited June 26, 2023 by marin

[Sticky Rice Balls]

1 minute ago, JimTripper said:

Pick your poison

Sangsom.......possible covid remedy as it kills everything ????

[473geo]

There is of course the fact that older people Thai will possibly avoid the wide open mouthed smile due to the sad state of their gnashers responding with a thin lip smile ????

[Sticky Rice Balls]

1 minute ago, marin said:

Your life here is what you make of it.

I concur......perspective being a key ingredient...  mai pen rai!

[Walker88]

I have resided in a number of countries over the years. All have good and bad points. One learns to ignore the bad and embrace the good.

 

You are going to find racist-seeming behavior, or actual racism, in every nation of Earth, including Thailand. It's worse in some places than others, and has improved with time in most places as most people have gotten used to 'others'.

 

When I first lived in Japan in my mid 20s, one morning I got on the subway and sat next to a young (35-ish) woman and her child. She got up and moved away, saying to the child "Foreigners are dirty" (I speak Japanese). I am fit, was wearing a $5000 Brioni suit, had just showered and shaved. It wasn't me; it was her. Stuff happens. Let it go.

 

I was shopping in an Armani shop in Hong Kong. I spoke with a service staff, asking about a different size in a garment. The woman suddenly had another customer come in---Chinese---so she called out to a colleague, "Can you come help the gwai lo?" That term, as most know, translates as 'white devil'. That was her, not me.

 

The fact that I remember these two instances should suggest it is a rare phenomenon. I suspect such crass behavior is equally rare in Thailand, so if it happens, paste it on to the one who did it, not all Thais.

 

Each nation has a view of how they expect 'outsiders' to act, move, look, etc. Understand what that is in Thailand, and you will have no problem, save for the occasional xenophobe. Better if you are dressed neatly, fit, clean, and move in a non-aggressive manner. If someone makes eye contact, or you notice them staring at you, smile and nod your head. A smile is non-threatening. Try to understand your own body language and what impression it creates. If you are tall, there are ways to move to make you seem shorter, which is less threatening. In shops and restaurants, keep your voice low and even tone, smile when you speak with service staff, and toss out plenty of 'thank yous' in Thai.

 

The majority of Thais couldn't care less you exist. Some will be friendly and curious, and yes, some will fear you or act as if you are a virus. Best if you always maintain a pleasant demeanor no matter what reaction you elicit, and learn to ignore those instances when someone might act offensively.

[Sticky Rice Balls]

I found the more northern i went the nicer the people.....as i lived in KK and NK for a bit....

 

found nothing but jaded thais down south and cant blame em with all the tourists  culture clash

 

As back home i worked tourist areas and I was jaded seeing rich folk enjoy as i was struggling

[Hummin]

19 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Not if someone or something distracts them and you don't catch their eye, people can have other things on their mind than a passing farang 

At least that's the way I see it 

Good luck to you if uou meet happy sociable people every day I don't expect to be the main attraction and it proves to be so 

Well, the thing is, Im less concerned about people around me, and do not actively monitoring my response which would be a bit creepy? If you are a positive person, I guess you receive more positivity, as well do not analysis every single person around you. 

[BangkokReady]

8 hours ago, bogs smith said:

i am not an aggressive person. at least i dont strive to be. not sure what an aggressive demeanor is? and how can we control how others perceive us? 

Isn't something like 80% of communication non-verbal?  Have you never noticed that you can figure someone out quite accurately based on what they wear, how they sit, what their facial expression is?

 

I feel that you can normally tell what someone is like, at least their demeanour, quite quickly.  I.e. relaxed, friendly, confrontational, etc..  It's something very primal and automatic in humans.

[scottiejohn]

4 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

Have you never noticed that you can figure someone out quite accurately based on what they wear

You must be joking!

What have my work clothes, for instance, got to do with my personality etc!

[JimTripper]

One thing the Op may also want to practice doing is disengaging from just anybody passing by.

 

When you get irritated like that it means you are interacting with the wrong people energetically in some way. Learn to tune people out and decide who is worth your attention.

 

I did this in Vietnam when I lived there to maintain my sanity and it does work, but takes a lot of conscious effort at first. There are practices you can do like visualizing yourself in a bubble, or avoiding eye contact, etc.

 

Eye contact is a big one for me. How many people irritate you that you don’t look at? Even more radical sunglasses ???? and earphones. Anyone irritate you listening to your favorite songs? Learn later to have the glasses and earphones on in your mind only.

[BangkokReady]

12 minutes ago, scottiejohn said:

You must be joking!

What have my work clothes, for instance, got to do with my personality etc!

Lots.

 

They can tell me what kind of job you do.  That can tell me about your class and probably educational level.

 

If it's a uniform, then that might make it a bit tricker, but there's still accessories.

 

Just because you don't know something, doesn't mean it isn't so.

[scottiejohn]

5 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

Lots.

 

They can tell me what kind of job you do.  That can tell me about your class and probably educational level.

 

If it's a uniform, then that might make it a bit tricker, but there's still accessories.

 

Just because you don't know something, doesn't mean it isn't so.

Thank God I won't ever meet you on a train or in a Pub!

You have to be one of the most judgemental persons on the planet!

[Doctor Tom]

We all need to be very aware, 'street wise' if you prefer that term, accepting, flexible and knowledgeable when you move from one culture to live in another. The OP may well be reading things into situations that are not really there and doing this for other reasons, such as medical depression, past negative experiences in life, a sense of personal and professional failure. If any of these are relevant then therapy may help. It's very much a state of mind.  There are many things that frustrate me about Thailand and the Thai's, but I weight those things against my dislike,  almost a loathing,  of the UK, it's miserable, feckless, work shy people, it's politics, it's environment, even though I am British born and raised.  The answer, if there is one, lies with the OP alone. He states that he is, for whatever reason  'stuck here' that alone could explain the negativity.  In reality, it is a fact that people are rarely 'stuck permanently' anywhere and planning and seeing a way out, even if not acted upon, can help a feeling of helplessness.  Taking control of all aspects of ones life helps perspective, indeed is vital for a stable and happy frame of mind.  

[Walker88]

14 minutes ago, scottiejohn said:

You must be joking!

What have my work clothes, for instance, got to do with my personality etc!

Look at his full post. I don't think he meant each thing independently, but rather collectively.

 

I agree with him, too. The overall appearance---size, dress, mannerisms, facial expressions, etc.---are quite revealing as to demeanor/personality.

 

I think everyone from detectives to FBI agents to agency case officers/spooks are taught to tune into these things. As the poster said, it's primal, but also can be fine tuned to be of use. Someone undercover can do just the opposite purposely: dress, move and behave in a manner to create an impression.

 

Or as the Bee Gees sang, "Well you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man, no time to talk"

[BangkokReady]

4 minutes ago, scottiejohn said:

Thank God I won't ever meet you on a train or in a Pub!

You have to be one of the most judgemental persons on the planet!

Do you even know what judgemental means?

[josephbloggs]

1 hour ago, bogs smith said:

quite the judgmental lot arent they, going by that brief synopsis... 

....says the man who has repeatedly judged all Thais. You really have a massive chip on your shoulder.

[worgeordie]

58 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

what about the smog though? must be like smoking 2 packs a day livin up there .

Beautiful today , the air is like nectar , I can see for miles and miles and miles,

but don't come here ,,,,,,,,go to Canada the airs nice there ......????

 

regards Worgeordie

[Pink Mist]

A post on moderation has been removed 

[scottiejohn]

38 minutes ago, Walker88 said:

Look at his full post. I don't think he meant each thing independently, but rather collectively.

It does not matter whither you take the elements individually or collectively!

It is still total BS!

You have no idea why an individual is in that set of circumstances, on that particular occasion, of you first seeing them in order to relate to their everyday life.

 

They could be anyone from a road sweeper (no offence meant "Trigger") to the managing director of a company going to funeral, a wedding or to work on their allotment!

 

You don't know until you converse with them!

 

 

 

Edited June 26, 2023 by scottiejohn

[scorecard]

5 hours ago, patman30 said:

Maybe it is your deoderant or lack of lol
seriously there are many reasons why such behaviour exists
one thing we have to learn is the xenophobia runs deep here
don;t forget the fear pushed into the population
always dirty foreigners to blame
i recall once taking a few older friends to lifecare to get full blood work done while here on hols
when looking at all the things tested
a woman (bit too old to be called a girl) with one of the friends asked the nurse "what is chlamydia"
the answer she got was "come from ferang"

one way to avoid negative comments about Thais
is to avoid this forum......????

The lady moved to another table.... One reason could be that she can't speak any English and was afraid you might try to engage her in an English conversation. 

So rather than lose face by not being able to understand you / engage in any conversation she moved.

 

This is possible.