My new Thai gf (35/f) invited me (42/m) to visit her family in Isaan after < 1 month of dating? I feel uncomfortable but agreed. What do you think?

[AventurasEnMadrid]

My new gf, divorced and working for an insurance company in Bangkok and a mother of 2 young children that live with her parents (children’s grandparents) in a city in Isaan wants me to visit her family for the weekend .  She actually invited me the first time after only 1 week of dating but I turned her down then. This time I feel a bit uncomfortable but have agreed. Fwiw, I have been supporting her financially somewhat as well and her son is sick with long COVID, but have explained that there are limits. There are several other red flags I am feeling in the relationship but do feel I love her. Feedback welcome. Thank you everyone

[Myran]

"after < 1 month of dating"

"but do feel I love her"

 

You can't love someone that you don't know, and getting to know someone on that level takes considerable time. Considering you're just a month in and already giving her money and getting invited to the family, it doesn't really sound promising.

 

Only you can decide what works for you, but it's not a relationship I would take any further.

[mfd101]

Just as "in the West", taking you home to meet the family is a good sign (she's serious), but it's only good if you're serious too.

 

As for money matters, that goes with the territory. Either get used to it or get out.

[at15]

imagine dishing out your hard earned money to a woman that has been impregnated by another mans sperm. unbelievable.

[brianthainess]

Yes go buy a rice paddy and build a house, Why does her sick son need money? give her 30b for the hospital fees, any proof her son is sick? I have visited  2 gf parents in the past, and at that time foolish to give them money, both turned out to be liars, one after 2 yrs.

[worgeordie]

19 minutes ago, AventurasEnMadrid said:

. There are several other red flags I am feeling in the relationship

Red flags are a warning , hope you heed them, you are going to take

a lot on ,especially with 2 young kids ..... it's going to be expensive.

 

regards Worgeordie

[BritManToo]

Don't go it's hot as hell and twice as boring.

PS. medical care is free to all Thai children in all government hospitals.

They don't need to be registered.

[Hummin]

You are to young to find a woman with two kids! 

 

To many reasons to mention, and if you think you love someone after one month, think again! 

 

Try 10 years when already got red flags after one month!

 

Good luck

[norfolkandchance]

Rats on the menu then.

[Woof999]

10 minutes ago, at15 said:

imagine dishing out your hard earned money to a woman that has been impregnated by another mans sperm. unbelievable.

Hello 19th century. How's it back there?

[Enoon]

18 minutes ago, at15 said:

imagine dishing out your hard earned money to a woman that has been impregnated by another mans sperm. unbelievable.

Thanks for sharing.

 

 

 

[Madgee]

You gotta go dude!

 

If you don't go you'll miss out on the family trip to BigC where everyone has a trolley to their own except you and they'll all split up going different ways only to meet up again at the secret rendezvous location ..... The checkout. This is where you will be overcome with joy looking at their faces when the bill is presented to you. Definitely a few leg over points to be won on that outing.
Then there is the trip to Makro .........................................................

[Hummin]

Just now, Madgee said:

You gotta go dude!

 

If you don't go you'll miss out on the family trip to BigC where everyone has a trolley to their own except you and they'll all split up going different ways only to meet up again at the secret rendezvous location ..... The checkout. This is where you will be overcome with joy looking at their faces when the bill is presented to you. Definitely a few leg over points to be won on that outing.
Then there is the trip to Makro .........................................................

Not everyone have the same experience as you, or you might only heard it, and no experience yourself at all. 

 

 

[Captain Monday]

You are 42 Why date a Thai woman with kids ? 

[FriendlyFarang]

51 minutes ago, AventurasEnMadrid said:

I have been supporting her financially somewhat

Why?

A 35 year old working for an insurance company in Bangkok probably makes 30k+ a month (unless she is just cleaning the offices...)

[save the frogs]

56 minutes ago, AventurasEnMadrid said:

but do feel I love her

you love her enough to live in isaan? 

[jvs]

Whatever you do,do not get her pregnant!

 

[Sandboxer]

[proton]

35 minutes ago, norfolkandchance said:

Rats on the menu then.

More like mr frog 

 

 

[Gecko123]

What are you doing in Bangkok? Are you employed there? What kind of visa are you on? You're relatively young, supporting a wife and two kids is not going to be cheap. Are you planning on working in Bangkok or repatriating? 

 

What is her job title at the insurance company and what is her salary? Is she a vice president of claims or is she a file clerk? Exactly how did you meet this insurance company employee? I certainly do not want to impugn anyone's background, but you need to know that some women with day time jobs are effectively freelancing, and have had a lot of practice hooking foreign guys.

 

A trip up country to meet the family is something of a rite of passage for many foreign guys. Can be very insightful and educational, but I would say inviting you up to Isaan after one week of dating is definitely a red flag, and suggests a strong desire to rush the relationship forward, which is not typical behavior for Thai women. Consider: most of the people she knew growing up in Isaan she probably has known all her life. She knows the importance of getting to know someone before leaping in with all fours.

 

Another thing, if you're a relative noobie, and there's a significant language barrier between the two of you, i.e. you know a handful of phrases and words, and she can communicate every day needs like going places, food, etc., but can't really discuss things like values, politics, religion, you get the picture, you're probably projecting and attributing a ton of Western values and assuming a compatibility that may or may not be a figment of your febrile imagination. 

 

Go to Isaan to meet the family if you think it'd be a fun trip, but don't make any rash moves. You need extra time to get to know her when you are crossing cultural and language barriers. Jumping in with all fours usually ends in tears.

 

[scottiejohn]

2 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

What are you doing in Bangkok? Are you employed there? What kind of visa are you on? You're relatively young, supporting a wife and two kids is not going to be cheap. Are you planning on working in Bangkok or repatriating? 

 

What is her job title at the insurance company and what is her salary? Is she a vice president of claims or is she a file clerk? Exactly how did you meet this insurance company employee?

What ever you do I suggest you do not answer any of the above on a public forum!

[HandsomeTallFarang]

12 minutes ago, Sandboxer said:

Unironically this

 

42 but seems very inexperienced with women.

 

Bud, you can just say "No thanks" you don't have to go meet her family lmao. What is she gonna do, break up with you? Then go find another girl, there's so many there. If that's the case, then you dodged a bullet. Completely replaceable.

 

What she is actually doing is, probably had been scheduled to visit them for a while now, but now she sees that you are in the picture, you can pay for the whole trip, and also, probably pay for the whole family's food / misc expenses while you are there. Probably why the pressure to "meet" them, it's just a pretense for you paying for the entire trip.

 

Also claiming to "love" someone after less than a month is kind of pathetic when we are talking about a 35 year old single mom who seems keen on milking money from you (plees help me hansum man my son have sick "Long COVID")

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Gecko123]

9 minutes ago, scottiejohn said:

What ever you do I suggest you do not answer any of the above on a public forum!

Are you familiar with the concept of a rhetorical question?

[CANSIAM]

"She asked to meet her family after 1 week of dating"........extremely quick, I'd be done and running...........  

[BritManToo]

10 minutes ago, HandsomeTallFarang said:

42 but seems very inexperienced with women.

Almost every man in the west is 'very inexperienced with women'.

You need a good 5 years banging Asian women in several countries to gain that experience.

[Dmaxdan]

1 hour ago, at15 said:

imagine dishing out your hard earned money to a woman that has been impregnated by another mans sperm. unbelievable.

With an attitude like that, please, please, please don't ever have a serious relationship with anything that even remotely resembles another human being.

[recom273]

27 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Not everyone have the same experience as you, or you might only heard it, and no experience yourself at all. 

Actually the original comment made me chuckle, I had an experience like this the first time of going back to the village. They rented a truck and driver from a cousin at some extortionate rate and we pushed the trolley around Big C and they bought so much stuff that they would never usually buy, they made a massive feast and what seemed like half the village appeared from no where and ate it all over the next 24 hours. I was well and truly rinsed.

 

I actually took 20K out of the bank, and told the gf that I left the ATM at home.

 

I saw it as an initiation ceremony, it ended by the gf telling her family to GTF, and 15+ years later we are still together, happily married (for the most part). I would say it's a necessary experiment, just keep your head on swivel and your eyes wide open. Write off the money spent over the weekend and use the time to see wether or not you are being played and if you can become part of the family unit. I found I couldn't which is why we live 50km away from them and the MIL knows the answer when she calls to catch 100B to buy rice.

[bignok]

1 hour ago, at15 said:

imagine dishing out your hard earned money to a woman that has been impregnated by another mans sperm. unbelievable.

Yes i wouldnt do it. 

[roo860]

 

[bignok]

I met my gf's family after 1 week. Why not? Nothing to be scared of.