My new Thai gf (35/f) invited me (42/m) to visit her family in Isaan after < 1 month of dating? I feel uncomfortable but agreed. What do you think?

[hellohello123]

Ill bet she has a heard of bufallo too

[hellohello123]

Did you negotiate how much money you are going to give her before or after you met ????

[hellohello123]

On 7/8/2023 at 9:22 PM, BangkokReady said:

He might not have put it very tactfully, but there are many, many reasons not to take on another man's kids.  Especially if you're still reasonably young yourself.

Agree, its politically incorrect to say like the way he did it, but if you are being totally sensible , the thought should.come.into your mind.

 

Like saying its advisable not to date a woman who has had 3 husbands and 6 kids 

[Dickie Dee]

On 7/8/2023 at 3:19 AM, AventurasEnMadrid said:

My new gf, divorced and working for an insurance company in Bangkok and a mother of 2 young children that live with her parents (children’s grandparents) in a city in Isaan wants me to visit her family for the weekend .  She actually invited me the first time after only 1 week of dating but I turned her down then. This time I feel a bit uncomfortable but have agreed. Fwiw, I have been supporting her financially somewhat as well and her son is sick with long COVID, but have explained that there are limits. There are several other red flags I am feeling in the relationship but do feel I love her. Feedback welcome. Thank you everyone

My new Thai gf took me to another city After7 days to meet the whole clan. Whatever. You have to admit it if she is a vacation fling. 

[chuang]

Guess who's coming for dinner...

[Colabamumbai]

Go and visit, getting serious she is. 

[BMW Overlander]

This thread is hilarious....been a while since I lmao this much ????

The combination of a gullible farang and no good Isan woman never disappoints.

Edited July 9, 2023 by BMW Overlander

[NORDO]

Mom’s rice cooker does not work.

Brothers Cell is broke.

Dad’s buffaloe is sick.

Sister husband left her with three kids.

 

Prepare to bend over buckoo.

[BritManToo]

On 7/8/2023 at 6:22 PM, BangkokReady said:

He might not have put it very tactfully, but there are many, many reasons not to take on another man's kids.  Especially if you're still reasonably young yourself.

I've had 5 of my own and 1 step-daughter.

Best of all the kids is my step-daughter.

If I were in a situation where I could save only one, it would be her.

[swm59nj]

From what you are doing she might think marriage is in the works.  That is what usually happens when they want you to meet the parents. 
You say you think you love her.. The relationship is less than one month.  You need to get to know her more.  You might right now like her, be attracted, and infatuated.  But a true love.  You need more time. And you already have questions about certain things about her. 
What you are doing to help her is over and above for a very short time in the relationship. 

My suggestion would say to her you will meet her parents.  But make it clear you are doing out of courtesy.  Not for a quick marriage.  
And maybe you should talk to her about these negative things you don’t want to mention.  You don’t want to have a relationship with questions in your mind. Or lack of trust . 
 

 

[wombat]

You are both I love aren't you?

Right

So what's the problem?

Oh and remembered to put all you buy in her name...it saves all the hassles.

[hotchilli]

On 7/8/2023 at 4:19 PM, AventurasEnMadrid said:

My new gf, divorced and working for an insurance company in Bangkok and a mother of 2 young children that live with her parents (children’s grandparents) in a city in Isaan wants me to visit her family for the weekend .  She actually invited me the first time after only 1 week of dating but I turned her down then. This time I feel a bit uncomfortable but have agreed. Fwiw, I have been supporting her financially somewhat as well and her son is sick with long COVID, but have explained that there are limits. There are several other red flags I am feeling in the relationship but do feel I love her. Feedback welcome. Thank you everyone

Think of it in a different way, up to now she has "hopefully been honest" with you regarding herself and family back home.

You are unsure of how far you wish to pursue this relationship.

Go to her parents under the understanding it's a casual meeting without any promises.

Assess the situation for yourself then make your decision if you wish to continue the relationship or bail-out.

Realise if you want IN... there are no financial limits... you're IN the family or OUT.

[Gecko123]

All these warnings that the family will likely descend upon the OP with endless financial hardship stories and conniving invitations to go sightseeing at the local Big C Supercenter, as amusing and entertaining as they are, are mostly just bar stool tales which have been embellished and handed down over the years. 

 

The chances of the OP encountering this behavior on an initial visit are pretty slim. Everyone is going to be on their best behavior. The girlfriend will be keeping everyone on a short leash, not only so as to not scare the OP off, but to make sure she remains the main beneficiary of his generosity.

 

Edited July 10, 2023 by Gecko123

[malt25]

On 7/8/2023 at 5:16 PM, save the frogs said:

you love her enough to live in isaan? 

What's wrong with Isaan ?

[verticalift]

Sorry to say this but…… If and when you arrive in Issan, be prepared to hand over a lotta Baht.

You will have become a walking ATM machine….. 

[save the frogs]

5 minutes ago, malt25 said:

What's wrong with Isaan ?

it was a joke. 

[kennw]

On 7/8/2023 at 4:27 PM, Myran said:

"after < 1 month of dating"

"but do feel I love her"

 

You can't love someone that you don't know, and getting to know someone on that level takes considerable time. Considering you're just a month in and already giving her money and getting invited to the family, it doesn't really sound promising.

 

Only you can decide what works for you, but it's not a relationship I would take any further.

Long covid sounds fishy.

[thaibeachlovers]

12 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

I think finding a good woman requires a proper qualification process. Taking a long time to make a determination to see if she is worthy of your time, and devotion, is always a good idea. See what she is made of. See what kind of heart and soul she has.

55555555555555555

 

Took me 5 years to find out that the women I first lived with wasn't worth my time. She was a good woman, but not right for me.

You try to make it like we can have auditions for a partner, but life isn't like that.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, Gecko123 said:

All these warnings that the family will likely descend upon the OP with endless financial hardship stories and conniving invitations to go sightseeing at the local Big C Supercenter, as amusing and entertaining as they are, are mostly just bar stool tales which have been embellished and handed down over the years. 

 

The chances of the OP encountering this behavior on an initial visit are pretty slim. Everyone is going to be on their best behavior. The girlfriend will be keeping everyone on a short leash, not only so as to not scare the OP off, but to make sure she remains the main beneficiary of his generosity.

 

Yes, happened to me.

[thaibeachlovers]

11 hours ago, riclag said:

True! But too early in the relationship for that !

For the consideration she’s got two kids . This drastically lowers the sinsot contribution !

Its in his favor.

imop

 

He doesn't owe any sin sod on a woman with children. At the most give something for show and get it back after ( what I did ).

[rocketboy2]

1 hour ago, malt25 said:

What's wrong with Isaan ?

Way to hot this year.

[DILLIGAD]

On 7/8/2023 at 5:22 PM, proton said:

More like mr frog 

 

 

Somethings wrong here. The blokes in Thailand in a suit and tie and NOT Bible bashing, beware!!!!!

[DILLIGAD]

18 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Yes, happened to me.

+1

[thaibeachlovers]

16 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

He doesn't owe any sin sod on a woman with children. At the most give something for show and get it back after ( what I did ).

I don't get what is so funny about that. It's a fact he doesn't have to give sinsod for a woman with kids.

[CecilM]

Same old story. Stop giving her money. See if she sticks around.

[Almer]

On 7/8/2023 at 4:46 PM, norfolkandchance said:

Rats on the menu then.

I live in Issan never had rat, but I have only been here 8 years, but I do have many friends and speak with most people I see. get help when I need it etc, I can sit and look at the scenery and not have the constant drum of traffic? 

I wonder how may of the people who knock Issan have ever lived or stayed there, I don't mean a dirty weekend in Udon, you go to Bkk and everybody is racing around no time to stop and stare I had all of that for 50 working years, no more thank you just me the much younger wife and the Buffalo who keeps very good health. Just off fishing now with a packed lunch a couple of beers and the dogs, no noise no rats. No hassle and no need to get the tractor out as the fishing lake is in the back garden, have a nice day city dwellers. 

[oscarsmum]

23 hours ago, bignok said:

Load of nonsense. Hotels all over Isaan. 450 baht gets decent room. Stay in hotel. 

 

Visit family 2 hours. Buy Lao Khao and 200 baht worth of chicken and rice. 

 

Say I've got a headache. Go back to hotel. Next day say you have a bad back and can only visit short time. Bring pork and rice 200 baht.

 

Drive back to hotel.

 

Family visit done.

Exactly!????????

[Skeptic7]

It'll all be fine...

...or not. 

[Grumpy one]

Go and visit the family, she only wants to show off her latest catch.

Just like any keen fisherman / fisherperson  does

[Siamjim]

think it's a good opportunity to get a reading on the family before getting too deep 

Edited July 10, 2023 by Siamjim