What should I do if I no longer find my wife attractive?

[sirineou]

50 minutes ago, bob smith said:

im chisled mate. 

 

a greek statue aint got nothing on me!

Glad to hear it. pirate life must agree with you, But if it was the other way around would you have no problem with your wife getting some on the side?

"Till Death Do Us Part, or until I no longer find you reactive,Which ever comes first", 

[bob smith]

2 minutes ago, sirineou said:

Glad to hear it. pirate life must agree with you, But if it was the other way around would you have no problem with your wife getting some on the side?

"Till Death Do Us Part, or until I no longer find you reactive,Which ever comes first", 

if she wants to get some on the side, she can.

 

but about the only thing she's having on the side these days is related to food.

 

7 meals a day! the mind boggles.

[GammaGlobulin]

1 hour ago, Shop mak said:

Create a collective cohabitation with

@GammaGlobulin

You have a lot in common  

 

The old missus I can't help with.

His topics are too long. 

His topics are mostly nonsense. 

He's a Farang. 

Therefore, I would not be able to cohabit with such a person that met all these disqualifying criteria. 

 

 

[Woof999]

2 hours ago, 2baht said:

A blow up rubber doll, Bob. They don't eat, don't get fat, don't nag, could be just the thing for you!

That's just a question of PSI.

[brianthainess]

17 minutes ago, sirineou said:

is that good or bad ?

Billy bunter comes to mind.

[Woof999]

3 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

His topics are too long. 

His topics are mostly nonsense. 

He's a Farang. 

Therefore, I would not be able to cohabit with such a person that met all these disqualifying criteria. 

They meant Bob, not you.... oh, hang on.

[2baht]

3 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

His topics are too long. 

His topics are mostly nonsense. 

It's more entertaining than the rubbish you post everyday, GG!

[watchcat]

2 hours ago, bob smith said:

what should I do?

Buy a mirror for yourself?

[GammaGlobulin]

47 minutes ago, 2baht said:

It's more entertaining than the rubbish you post everyday, GG!

Almost everyday.

 

 

[stoner]

1 hour ago, sirineou said:

is that good or bad ?

it's nails.  

[spidermike007]

If she is a good woman, if you guys get along well, if she makes you a better version of yourself, if she makes you laugh and has your back, and gives you very few headaches, stay with her. Sex is a small part of a relationship, as we get older. Getting something on the side is no big deal, and not something you should feel guilty about. Just be very discreet and don't cause her any embarrassment or humiliation. 

[spidermike007]

2 hours ago, novacova said:

Learn to be friends and find interests that mentally stimulate the both of you. Though if sex is a paramount feature in the relationship, then inevitably physical prejudices will set in and will be difficult to overcome. Next time find someone who you are best friends with and can mentally stimulate and challenge you. The rest is just sex that may lead to burn-out in a heap of rubble.

I completely disagree. Even though my wife is very smart, I do not get much intellectual stimulation from the relationship. But, I get so much else. And in all of the relationships I was ever in with really smart women, who I got intellectual stimulation from, there was also so much grief to contend with. Such combative women. So much competition. Yikes. Thrilled to death to have left all of that behind.

 

When I was only in the relationship for a year or so, I had dinner with a very sharp American friend. I asked him about that. He laughed. He said, when you feel the need for intellectual stimulation, call me. We can hook up for the meal, and break down the origins of the cosmos. Do not fret. That same brain that gives you that stimulation, also tends to give you so much grief, it is not worth it, on any level. Get over it. Enjoy all of the other qualities, that make your day so delightful and fulfilling. Great advice, that I have followed to this day.

 

I learned long ago that a woman who can match me intellectually, also tends to be a combative woman, and the chance of harmony is low. I for one, love a harmonious house, where my woman is joyful and light hearted, with a great sense of humor, and an amazing attitude toward life, and us. Just my point of view. Whatever works for you, stick with it.

[Ralf001]

1 hour ago, bob smith said:

 

 

7 meals a day! the mind boggles.

She's Thai ?

[Neeranam]

3 hours ago, bob smith said:

mrs. smiths body aint what it used to be, putting it mildly.

I am already visiting girls on the side regularly but I do kinda feel bad about it.

Why get married in the first place?

 

I suggest trying to improve yourself spiritually, life is not about sex. Become honest and don't do things that hurt other people, especially your family. 

If you can't change, leave your wife and let her find a real man. 

[Ralf001]

2 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

life is not about sex.

You Wot mate ?

[Lacessit]

Food is comfort. If the OP shagged his wife the way he used to, IMO she would stop eating. Meantime, buy some flour.

[Sandboxer]

I can relate. Not wife but gf. Going on 3 yrs, and everything is actually really good - except that I'm not attracted to her sexually anymore even though she is quite an attractive and sexy woman. I blame it my history (literally, thousands of pros, with a handful of longterm gfs). 

 

I have side fun with a pro about once, sometimes twice a week now (gf and I do not live together yet) and I feel guilty every time. I do love her in every sense of the word - except physically. 

 

Part of me thinks I should just let her go and continue to be the slut I am, but I'm too selfish because life really is better with her.

 

*sigh*

[fredwiggy]

28 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

If she is a good woman, if you guys get along well, if she makes you a better version of yourself, if she makes you laugh and has your back, and gives you very few headaches, stay with her. Sex is a small part of a relationship, as we get older. Getting something on the side is no big deal, and not something you should feel guilty about. Just be very discreet and don't cause her any embarrassment or humiliation. 

Getting something on the side is the biggest deal, and total disrespect for someone you call your wife. I'm thinking that word, wife, means so very little to so many so called men. Men who act like little boys who can't get their way and must boost their ego bedding another woman who's either clueless or a purchase. Women always find out if a man strays, and it can be deadly, especially here. Better to leave and find another girl to play with if you can't be a husband.                                                               For Bob, if your wife was attractive to you before, she can hold much of that now if you treat her right, and actually listen to her when she talks. I'm wondering if both of your wives would like it if they read what you post here, or would they go to Home Pro and buy a machete. The first part of your post was right on, but from Getting, you lost your credibility.                                                                                                                                                                   Sex is a small, yet important part of all relationships, and is a good indicator how the relationship is going. Many men will romance a woman until they get what they want, and then forget what they did to become the woman's partner. Romance never should end, because that's the same woman who made you feel good in the beginning, and a bond happens when a woman gets what she needs, which is mostly a man who loves, listens, cares, protects and honors her.                                                                                        Posting these things isn't honoring and if you treated her as you did in the beginning, she might take better care of herself all the time. People let themselves go when the target is acquired, and that's a huge mistake. Women think the same way. If we let ourselves go, they think we don't care enough about them to keep ourselves looking as good as we can, age notwithstanding. People should age together in the same ways. if you both are a little big, and love to eat heavy foods, the relationship can still be great, because you're getting older and heavier together, as long as the man (usually) doesn't think he's a stud when he's not, and thinks he deserves better. If you're both fit, and that's your thing, it's a great way to spend time together, working out and staying fit for each other.                                                                                                                                                           Problems happen when one thinks they can get better, which isn't true if you already have a good partner. the grass isn't greener on the other side. it's just more of the same in a different package. Some people aren't made to be together, and that's usually because they have different future plans. If they think the same, share common interests, are attracted to each other, and don't violate a relationship's rules, they can stay together and be happy forever. Unrealistic expectations ruins most relationships. people thinking it just has to be better out there. Like I said, if you have good, there is no better. Just different, and maybe dangerous.

[fredwiggy]

20 minutes ago, Sandboxer said:

I can relate. Not wife but gf. Going on 3 yrs, and everything is actually really good - except that I'm not attracted to her sexually anymore even though she is quite an attractive and sexy woman. I blame it my history (literally, thousands of pros, with a handful of longterm gfs). 

 

I have side fun with a pro about once, sometimes twice a week now (gf and I do not live together yet) and I feel guilty every time. I do love her in every sense of the word - except physically. 

 

Part of me thinks I should just let her go and continue to be the slut I am, but I'm too selfish because life really is better with her.

 

*sigh*

Can't have your cake and eat it too, as the saying goes. if she's as good as you say, you stick with her and let the others go, or you let her go to be with someone who will look at her as Number 1 and only. Giving her an STD, which is inevitable eventually, especially here, where it runs rampant, is not something she deserves, and I think you already know that. A man is very lucky when he finds a good hearted woman who he's also attracted to, and is a fool if he lets her down.

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, bob smith said:

bit harsh dont you think? do you want me to sound like joe pasquale?

At least it'll stop you posting about wanting sex.

[Bangkok Barry]

I wonder if she goes on the internet and asks what she should do about you. Maybe you're not hansum like before and she's tired of you criticising her. Works both ways.

[Irish star]

The girls now are on full on Greed , Nasty Now scamming

[hotchilli]

On 8/8/2023 at 8:57 AM, bob smith said:

Should I continue getting my kicks on the side, possibly think about trading her in for a younger model, or should I just accept my lot in life and try to make my woman happy?

Les expensive to keep her happy at home while she gives you little grief.

Play safely on the side when required.

[Headgame]

Bob, just curious.

Do the ladies find your body attractive - can’t wait for some Bob?

I assume they tell you that you are a  hansum man.

 

And seriously you live in TH, married to a Thai but still cannot figure out on your own what to do with your “problem” except getting some on the side. I suspect two sides to your story. Please ask Mrs. Bob to give us her version.
 

But keep the posts coming. Very entertaining.

[SW Happy]

On 8/8/2023 at 2:57 AM, bob smith said:

mrs. smiths body aint what it used to be, putting it mildly.

I am already visiting girls on the side regularly but I do kinda feel bad about it.

It's not her fault after all. well it kind of is actually, she eats like a pig and ive told her that but every time i mention she just keeps on eating, almost in spite...

She is also very moody these days. Snaps at the smallest thing.

she says she still loves me though and could never leave me.

 

what should I do?

I still like her personality a bit but i dont find her sexually attractive anymore.

We sleep in seperate bedrooms and thats the way i want it.

 

Should I continue getting my kicks on the side, possibly think about trading her in for a younger model, or should I just accept my lot in life and try to make my woman happy?

I wonder what she thinks obout your body.  ????

[koolkarl]

Its natural.

[ChrisKC]

She is moody because of you.

 

it is only my opinion, but she doesn't get your respect and in a moment of honesty she would say the same of you.

 

"A sack of potatoes" as a description of one's partner (in public) is something to be ashamed of!

 

This post should be private.

Edited August 9, 2023 by ChrisKC
typo

[khunPer]

On 8/8/2023 at 3:57 AM, bob smith said:

Should I continue getting my kicks on the side, possibly think about trading her in for a younger model, or should I just accept my lot in life and try to make my woman happy?

I presume you know the Thai-solution – get a young attractive mia noi – however, it might not be the cheapest method...

 

I know Western men (some home country friends) with similar problem. They takes on "fishing holiday" with their friends – also facing similar situation – in Thailand; that is like your "kicks on the side" and saves an otherwise good relationship and family. Their wives are having their own holiday together with plenty of time to lady-shopping – without irritating males getting tired of waiting and disturbing them about moving on – and chatting all afternoons over coffee or tea and cakes. I think the wives knows what's going on, but it's never talked about with their spouses; kind of silent approval of a solution for all's best.

[kennw]

On 8/8/2023 at 9:20 AM, JBChiangRai said:

I try to avoid that, in my minds-eye I am still a handsome 21 year old, the mirror destroys that illusion.

Problem is they dont make mirrors like they used too. 555

[JBChiangRai]

Just now, kennw said:

Problem is they dont make mirrors like they used too. 555

I knew there had to be a rational explanation