How to throw out my girlfriend's son out of the house?

[VinnieK]

33 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

Your gf is about 50?

Find a younger one without these problems.

No kids...

They are always bad news in some way or another.

Even if they live far away.

 

[steven100]

5 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

and when he comes back with 10 of his mates??????????????????

it only takes one mate and the revenge will be swift.        I mean,  farang throws the thai guy out of his mums house ....   as Gecko123 said,   does he think he'll just say bye bye and ride off into the sunset after that happens,  I can assure the OP that won't happen.  

[mancub]

First need to understand what their arguments are about. Most likely money. Son feels entitled as. in his eyes mother has a foreign "sponsor" rather than boyfriend? Mother most likely feels obligated to a degree despite and possibly a cause for the fights ? ...and what about the father and other family members ?

[FritsSikkink]

25 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

There's also been a lot of tough guys who have ended up on a morgue slab. You're whipping the OP into this macho frenzy. The interloper is his wife's son, so will be in her life for the duration. Does the  OP really want someone like this giving him the evil eye every time he sees you? Do you really want to be worrying about someone accidentally-on-purpose running you over with his pickup truck every time you go for a walk? Evicting him? Locking him out of the house? What do you imagine is going to happen? He's just going to slink off into the sunset, never to be seen again? No, he'll be back, probably with an even bigger chip on his shoulder and nursing a grudge for life. That's why I say no way the OP should take the lead on this. He'll eventually forgive his mother if there's any hard feelings. The OP? Revenge time.

I am not worrying about dying, I live my life enjoying it and taking care of challenges in live. I don't run away.

[richard_smith237]

4 minutes ago, mancub said:

First need to understand what their arguments are about. Most likely money. Son feels entitled as. in his eyes mother has a foreign "sponsor" rather than boyfriend? Mother most likely feels obligated to a degree despite and possibly a cause for the fights ? ...and what about the father and other family members ?

Could the Son be arguing with his Mum about the Op ??

 

After reading the below comments from the Op, I would do anything in my power to keep anyone I care about away from such a pest.

 

 

15 minutes ago, transam said:

17 minutes ago, organicman said:

Hehe, she in her mid 40s now where I never wanted a relationship cause I enjoy picking up women all the time. I desire girls in their 20s where I told her she was too old for me. She keep chasing me for years on end while I was with other girls. She use to get jealous but I told her we aren't together but she has accepted me being with other girls now and will do anything for me. I've never had to pay for sex from a girl before where I'm in my early 40s now where I know I'm coming out of my prime in picking up younger women. I had some health problems some years ago and she was there without question. If I'm feeling depressed, she would catch the next plane or bus and come see me. She does anything for me which is hard to find these days. She really looks after me where we can go party and she allows me to be with other Thai girls now hence why I got into a relationship with her. All my friends love her and and my parents and have advise me to not let her go. I've dated a lot of women in my years where I'm not stupid to let my dick to the thinking for me.  

 

I've never seen her cry so much the last week cause of her son where I never got involved with any matters with her family before. I've never seen her so depressed in the 5 years I've know her where she has been there for me and I want to return the favour in kick her son out of the house so she is happy again. 

Expand  

You sound like a good catch.......................????.......................????

[FritsSikkink]

28 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

The police in that story sided with the Thai landlord. Always best to maneuver conflicts into Thai Vs Thai, only fools fight their own battles.

The Thai vs Thai story is for people who can't take care of things themselves. I speak Thai, so no need for others to do my battles. Live your life to the max instead of running / hiding all the time.

[2long]

When he's in the house, turn on some gay porn and start tugging away, while looking at the son.
A few sessions like this should see the back of him! ????????

[spidermike007]

Your girlfriend has to do it. Not something you should get involved in. If she also wants him out, let her show the conviction, and get rid of the slug. And besides, he is 27. Well past the time when he should be carrying his weight in society. He sounds like a coddled man/child. Do whatever has to be done, including changing all the locks while he is out, and packing up his stuff and leaving it outside. Do not give him money to leave. That will only make him feel more entitled.

 

Harmony in the home is essential for peaceful, pleasant living. Nothing worse than having someone living under your roof, who you do not like, nor respect.

Edited September 12, 2023 by spidermike007

[Hummin]

48 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

and when he comes back with 10 of his mates??????????????????

I can not predict what he would do, the son, but I believe I would manage one way or the other. I'm just answering on behalf of the information shared so far from OP. 

 

Seems the mom just want it  Solved  without police to save face. 

 

Police will remove him, if the mom owns the house. 

Edited September 12, 2023 by Hummin

[1FinickyOne]

1 hour ago, organicman said:

That's a great idea!! When he goes to work,

He works? sounds like a keeper to me... just kidding but remember, even if you get him to submit with an arm bar, you will have to sleep sometime... please don't get physical... it is not likely to end well for you... 

[cjinchiangrai]

You need to do it the normal eviction way. She needs to file a case against him and obtain a court order of eviction and a restraining order, then the police will handle it. The other option would be to rent him an apartment somewhere and pay him to live elsewhere.

[scorecard]

1 hour ago, FritsSikkink said:

Ignore all the negative posts. They never stood up for themselves and are scared.

Have a talk with him first and TELL him to behave or he goes out on his backside and you will change the locks.

In other words step by step - good advice!

[organicman]

1 hour ago, bkk6060 said:

Your gf is about 50?

Find a younger one without these problems.

 

Mid 40s now.

 

I'm a blunt person. After I slept with her when I first meet her, I told her I'm not looking for a relationship and that I like younger women (a butterfly). I would push her away for years to be with other women (I never paid a woman for sex) but she will continue to chase me. This year, I got really drunk and was making out with her and some other women. She didn't care and said I can go out and have fun with other women when she is there cause she knows I do it when she isn't around but wants to be around me. She hates being away from me. I usually spend 2 weeks with her then go somewhere around Thailand or SEA for 2 weeks and be with other women every year. I spent 6 months in my home country and 6 months in SEA every year. I usually bring her back to my home country cause she is a great cook, cleans my house and looks after me. She said she wants to go out and have fun with me and said i can have fun with other women now. I haven't escalated it to a 3some yet but I'm working on it. :p We got a lot closer during Covid lockdown where she was with me in my home country. I tried to get a 22 year of Vietnamese girl to come first but her tourist visa was denied.  

 

To be honest, we don't even label what we are cause I've been saying for years I don't want a relationship. She use to get so jealous at first when I was with other women like a normal jealous Thai girl but now she is learnt to accepted it. We are like best friends now sleeping together. I've dated lots of women in my years where she has the qualities of everything I want in a woman but I want a younger version. My friends and parents told me to keep her for years but I kept pushing her away. She still looks like she is in her 20s, very petite (I thought she was in her early 20s when I first met her). Thai women age well but in the last couple years, she is starting to lose those attractive looks (me too where I'm in my early 40s now and coming out of my prime) I notice but I still can go out and be with other girls so I'm happy if I wish but I haven't really desire to do so since we got closer during the Covid lockdown. 

 

Since the son came back to the her home, I've never seen her so depressed before. She has done so much for me and will do anything for me hence I want to return the favour by helping her remove the son from her home. 

 

Edited September 12, 2023 by organicman

[In Full Agreement]

1 hour ago, Andre0720 said:

They went back to the apartment with a pick-up truck, put al her stuff in the back of the pick-up, and asked my gf where she wanted her stuff sent.

My GF thought for sure that the police would side with her, no matter what....

 

Sounds like  a pretty good way for a Thai to save on   moving costs. 

 

 Just call the cops.

 

 

Edited September 12, 2023 by In Full Agreement

[watchcat]

1 hour ago, FritsSikkink said:

Ignore all the negative posts. They never stood up for themselves and are scared.

Have a talk with him first and TELL him to behave or he goes out on his backside and you will change the locks.

The house belongs to the mother of this son (who the heck lives at mum's home at the age of 27)?

You should just check out, your GF is just a friend albeit a girl. Don't get involved.

[NoDisplayName]

1 hour ago, organicman said:

That's a great idea!! When he goes to work, we can change the locks and remove his stuff from the house. Thank you!

You do nothing.

You are not involved.

You have no rights in this situation.

YOU don't touch him.

YOU don't touch his stuff.

You're just an acquaintance of a guy's mom who also lives in his mom's house.

 

There's a mom and another son, and probably other family in the village.

You find a hotel for the weekend.

They can handle it.

 

[steven100]

21 minutes ago, NoDisplayName said:

You do nothing.

You are not involved.

You have no rights in this situation.

YOU don't touch him.

YOU don't touch his stuff.

You're just an acquaintance of a guy's mom who also lives in his mom's house.

 

There's a mom and another son, and probably other family in the village.

You find a hotel for the weekend.

They can handle it.

 

actually,  this is good advice ....   you tell the GF to have a serious talk to the son and have him out by Monday when you return from the hotel.    This will also solidify her conviction with you as true or imaginary.

[NoDisplayName]

2 minutes ago, steven100 said:

actually,  this is good advice ....   you tell the GF to have a serious talk to the son and have him out by Monday when you return from the hotel.    This will also solidify her conviction with you as true or imaginary.

Things to 'member:

 

OP isn't married to the lady, he has no authority in that household, of which bad boy IS blood-related.

 

Nasty things can happen when grudges are held.

 

Touching the boy may get an assault charge.

 

Touching the boys stuff may get a theft charge.

 

Helping mom move the boy's stuff is illegal work.  The boy can report you to immigration for deportation.

[FritsSikkink]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Do you actually know what goes on in Thailand? Apparently not.

 

Was here as a tourist for the first time 40 years ago. Working and living here, 2 children one of them going to university. Speak Thai and have a very big Thai family. Got some very good Thai friends too. 

You don't even live here anymore because you couldn't afford it.

[tomazbodner]

3 hours ago, organicman said:

I've been with my Thai girlfriend for over 5 years now. The youngest son is an angel while the older son (27 years old) is a pain in the ass. My Thai girlfriend fights with him all the time. He use to live in Bangkok but has moved back home to Kalasin and causing problems. My Thai girlfriend wants him kick out of the house. My question is, if it becomes physically with me and him, will I get into trouble with the police? I hear the police won't get involved in removing him from my Thai girlfriend's house (it's a family matter) so what will happen if I physically remove him from the house? I have a martial art background and he is tiny to the size of me. We will be flying back to Thailand soon. 

Rent him a "girlfriend" at the other end of Thailand... I think they made a few movies about that, not very realistic as they were Hollywood versions... Failure to launch or something like that was one of them...

[CanadaSam]

My God, the amount of people on here advocating violence!!!

 

Have none of you ever heard of TALKING it out???

 

Just sit him down, and tell him it's better for everyone if he moves back to Bangkok or wherever!

 

Offer him some financial incentive if necessary, you can get him a dirt cheap condo anywhere in Thailand for 4-5k.

 

Tell him you'll pay his rent for a few months, until he has a job and is stable.

 

Try that first, before all the threats and physical stuff you are being advised to do, please.

 

We (some of us) are not animals anymore.....

[JimTripper]

 

3 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Do you actually know what goes on in Thailand? Apparently not.

 

OP it's not your business. If she wants him out that's down to her.

 

I had the same problem with my wife's nephew. I got divorced, which solved that problem for me. Otherwise not a damn thing I could do except moan about him to her.

She may be unable to physically remove him and have no family or friends around to do it.

 

What then? Just sacrifice the property?

[thaibeachlovers]

20 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

 

She may be unable to physically remove him and have no family or friends around to do it.

 

What then? Just sacrifice the property?

If he attacks the son to throw him out some actions may result:

a/ the son returns with 10 mates

b/ the mother sides with her son and calls the cops

c/ the son calls the cops

d/ the OP gets thrown out by the mother

 

End of the day it's her son and it's her problem to solve. I always asked myself when faced with a problem like that "what would happen if I wasn't there"?

 

Just because he is sleeping with her, it doesn't mean he has to solve her problems, and they ain't even married.

 

If it were me in that situation, I'd tell her to sort it or I'd be leaving, and if she didn't I would leave. Life is too short to get involved in cultural problems that we will likely never understand.

I did have a similar problem and my wife wouldn't deal with it. Not long after I divorced her, which solved that problem.

[thaibeachlovers]

29 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

What then? Just sacrifice the property?

it's not his property.

[Gecko123]

1 hour ago, FritsSikkink said:

Was here as a tourist for the first time 40 years ago. Working and living here, 2 children one of them going to university. Speak Thai and have a very big Thai family. Got some very good Thai friends too. 

You don't even live here anymore because you couldn't afford it.

If all this is true Frits, why is it that you seem so dismissive of those who caution about the risks of getting into physical altercations? You bragged about your martial arts skills, but how much good will they do you if you're set upon by a group of crow bar, hoe handle, two-by-four wielding guys? You're dishing out in-your-face advice as if everyone on here is Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, Rambo, and Claude van Damme rolled into one. How old are you? You think you could unequivocally kick the butt of any 27 year old Thai guy out there? I have my doubts, tough guy.

 

You say you speak Thai.  Great, but if the desk cop down at the police station decides the best way to keep the peace and squirm out of taking a police report is to arbitrarily believe the Thai person's version of events, all the Thai language skills in the world are probably not going to count for much.

 

You said you're not afraid of dying. OK. Talk is cheap. How about fear of physical debilitation or disfigurement from getting into a fight? Or fear that you'll sustain huge medical bills from an injury? Please don't confuse being prudent with being a coward.

 

I've been coming to Thailand for 36 years and have lived here for the past 20. I'll admit I've gotten into a few physical altercations over the years, and have had a chance to understand what the risks and aftermath of doing so are. There are a lot of risks, and a bull-in-a-china shop approach rarely, if ever, produces the best outcome, especially in a village environment.

 

You can think of a Thai village as an interconnected eco system. Lots of family connections by blood and marriage, lots of life long acquaintances and friends dating back to grade school. A foreigner is going to be clueless about the full extent of these connections, no matter how long they live in a village. When you pick a fight with someone, you can oftentimes inadvertently end up antagonizing a large number of people who are backing the person you picked a fight with. In other words, there are often lasting repercussions arising out of tense disputes. Those that devolve into violence, can easily morph into physical altercations involving far more people than you initially anticipated. And I would not give Thais high marks in terms of willingness to let go of grudges or to bury the peace pipe.

 

I have definitely come to the conclusion that any type of physical confrontation should be avoided almost at all costs. There are good reasons why Thais in villages generally try to avoid hot confrontations, if only because they live next door to one another and they're probably going to be seeing one another every day for the rest of their lives.

 

I have found that being patient and taking a very considered approach to conflict resolution is the best practice when living in a village. Faced with a potential confrontation, I will often cogitate for long stretches about how best to approach the person, how they might react, and how I will react to how they react. Sometimes, (let's say a noise complaint) the problem ends up going away during this cogitation phase.

 

It's not clear to me what environment you have been living in during your years here, but I am genuinely surprised that someone who has lived here as long as you claim you have, is so disinclined to at least acknowledge that this approach has considerable merits.

 

Edited September 12, 2023 by Gecko123

[thaibeachlovers]

4 hours ago, FritsSikkink said:

Easiest way is to change the locks when he is away. First make sure you can lock all entrances.

and he never has to leave the house? Locks only stop honest people.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 hours ago, FritsSikkink said:

Must be sad having to be on the run every time you get some problem.

Better to walk away uninjured than injured. You think 1 farang can beat 10 Thais?

[thaibeachlovers]

4 hours ago, organicman said:

I was thinking about going to a local Muay Thai gym and hiring some Thai muscle to have him removed cause I know Farangs have no rights when it comes to the Thai police.

and perhaps they are his mates 555555555555555555

 

[tubby johnson]

3 hours ago, FritsSikkink said:

I have had loads of fights in my life, have a martial arts background same as the OP and used to do a bit of moonlighting as a bouncer in the Amsterdam Red light area. Solved quite a few issues in Thailand too. 

I am still around and get a lot of respect of Thai people as they know I am not a mouse who runs away when there is a little bit of noise around the corner.

Our keyboard warrior is back!! 

 

Seriously, Mr Tough Guy ..... it's best not to encourage other people to get into fights. While you're excitedly hiding behind a tree watching the fight take place, the OP could get himself seriously hurt if the older son loses face, or resorts to weapons, or returns with his friends.

 

You're not living in a Steven Seagal fantasy where an obese middle-aged guy beats up everyone -- this is Thailand.

[steven100]

13 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

If it were me in that situation, I'd tell her to sort it or I'd be leaving, and if she didn't I would leave. Life is too short to get involved in cultural problems that we will likely never understand.

correct .....   you tell the GF to have a serious talk to the son and have him out by Monday when you return from the hotel,  or your seriously leaving ...........    This will also solidify her conviction with you as true or imaginary.

 

one of two things will happen .....