Was I being mean?

[James9999]

I went to few music bars in Pattaya and Bangkok and was in the penny Black in Soi Cow last night with the gf. We had been there before and the other two in Soi Cowboy. Last night we happend to have been there when they came around for tips for the band. There had been five vocalists there plus sax, guita, bass, drums and keyboard player. I put 100 baht in. Then I had to pay the bar bill that was 1050 baht. I had a 1000 baht note and a 50 baht note so put that down. The gf said to give the waitress a tip so I took the 50 baht note back and put a 100 baht note down so the waitress could take the 50 baht change assuming that was hers and it wasn't a communial tipping system. Afterwards the gf took me to task for giving 100 baht to the band, 10 people and only 50 baht to waitress, who basically hadn't done very much anyway, just brought us the drinks. The band had been going non stop for about at least the 3 hours that we were there. She said I should have made the tips the same. I don't know if that meant only giving the band 10 people 50 or give the waitress 100. What is the tipping etiquette?

[Cameroni]

You don't give tips inThailand.

 

Mainly due to Chinese practices being adopted. I always pretend I'm Chinese.

[Liverpool Lou]

22 minutes ago, James9999 said:

She said I should have made the tips the same. I don't know if that meant only giving the band 10 people 50 or give the waitress 100. What is the tipping etiquette?

You did the right thing but ask your concerned girlfriend if the band was performing free and relying on tips (they weren't) or whether they were getting paid by the bar and ask her how much she tipped the band in comparison to your tip.     

[Liverpool Lou]

23 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

You don't give tips inThailand.

Speak for yourself.

[Lacessit]

17 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

You don't give tips inThailand.

 

Mainly due to Chinese practices being adopted. I always pretend I'm Chinese.

You can choose that path, and get a reputation as kiniow. Not a good idea to go back to a place where you have acquired that kind of reputation.

 

I understand it's the Koreans and Japanese who are regarded as the best tippers.

 

I tip my massage lady and caddies more than the standard fee. They may have more customers that day, or get no work for a couple of days. I know it is appreciated, by their attitude towards me.

 

In answer to the OP, it depends on how long you were there for, listening to the band and drinking. 100 baht and 50 to the waitress sounds OK for half an hour. Inadequate if you were there for hours.

[Cameroni]

1 minute ago, Lacessit said:

You can choose that path, and get a reputation as kiniow. Not a good idea to go back to a place where you have acquired that kind of reputation.

 

I understand it's the Koreans and Japanese who are regarded as the best tippers.

 

I tip my massage lady and caddies more than the standard fee. They may have more customers that day, or get no work for a couple of days. I know it is appreciated, by their attitude towards me.

 

In answer to the OP, it depends on how long you were there for, listening to the band and drinking. 100 baht and 50 to the waitress sounds OK for half an hour. Inadequate if you were there for hours.

 

I actually tip massage ladys as well, even though the place I go to charges 1300 Baht for an hour of oil massage already, and the tip should be included. 

 

With food I would tip in small Thai eateries if the food was very good, which it often is, but not at all when tip is included and the bill is over 1500 Baht.

 

Band, if they're good I might tell the girl to drop a 100 Baht into the box.

 

Obviously places you go to regularly you can start tipping since ipso facto the food must be good, as well as the service.

[Yellowtail]

let your girlfriend handle the money when you are out, assuming she's your steady. 

 

I like to tip, so I tip. 

 

People that do not like to tip, should not tip. 

[Yellowtail]

To be clear, while I like to tip, I never tip if the service is bad. 

[Celsius]

11 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

understand it's the Koreans and Japanese who are regarded as the best tippers.

 

that's funny considering that tipping in both countries is frowned upon.

[AnotherOneHere]

20 Baht tip per check bin, I don't care how many musicians or beer carriers were involved.

[Yellowtail]

Just now, AnotherOneHere said:

20 Baht tip per check bin, I don't care how many musicians or beer carriers were involved.

I would never run a tab at a Soi Cowboy bar, pay as you go. 

[Lacessit]

8 minutes ago, Celsius said:

 

that's funny considering that tipping in both countries is frowned upon.

Muslims drinking alcohol in Malaysia is frowned upon, as is oiled massages.

 

The do both when they cross the border into Thailand.

[Cameroni]

4 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Muslims drinking alcohol in Malaysia is frowned upon, as is oiled massages.

 

 

 

Massage in Malaysia is really terrible. Even Thai Massage. I went to a place and like in Thailand, I refuse to wear those plastic tangas some mental defective came up with. Never a problem in Thailand. But in Malaysia, if you don't put on those ludicrous tanga things the girl will refuse to do the massage. I could not believe my ears, when I was in KL. I cancelled of course.

 

I thought it was an isolated thing with a fundamentalist masseuse. I go to anothe place. Exactly the same. You basically can't get a decent massage in Malaysia, unless you dress up like a tanga queen. Ridiculous.

[BangkokReady]

Tricky.  A lot of Thais see it as their duty to get money out of foreign pockets and into Thai ones.  There's even a special name for foreigners who don't give money freely to Thai people - farang keenok.

 

There's also the chance of her losing face if you don't tip enough.

 

Ask her how much a Thai would have tipped.

[ericthai]

1 hour ago, James9999 said:

I went to few music bars in Pattaya and Bangkok and was in the penny Black in Soi Cow last night with the gf. We had been there before and the other two in Soi Cowboy. Last night we happend to have been there when they came around for tips for the band. There had been five vocalists there plus sax, guita, bass, drums and keyboard player. I put 100 baht in. Then I had to pay the bar bill that was 1050 baht. I had a 1000 baht note and a 50 baht note so put that down. The gf said to give the waitress a tip so I took the 50 baht note back and put a 100 baht note down so the waitress could take the 50 baht change assuming that was hers and it wasn't a communial tipping system. Afterwards the gf took me to task for giving 100 baht to the band, 10 people and only 50 baht to waitress, who basically hadn't done very much anyway, just brought us the drinks. The band had been going non stop for about at least the 3 hours that we were there. She said I should have made the tips the same. I don't know if that meant only giving the band 10 people 50 or give the waitress 100. What is the tipping etiquette?

hmm.. ask her what she meant?? I dont think anyone here can tell you what she was thinking.

[FritsSikkink]

1 hour ago, James9999 said:

I went to few music bars in Pattaya and Bangkok and was in the penny Black in Soi Cow last night with the gf. We had been there before and the other two in Soi Cowboy. Last night we happend to have been there when they came around for tips for the band. There had been five vocalists there plus sax, guita, bass, drums and keyboard player. I put 100 baht in. Then I had to pay the bar bill that was 1050 baht. I had a 1000 baht note and a 50 baht note so put that down. The gf said to give the waitress a tip so I took the 50 baht note back and put a 100 baht note down so the waitress could take the 50 baht change assuming that was hers and it wasn't a communial tipping system. Afterwards the gf took me to task for giving 100 baht to the band, 10 people and only 50 baht to waitress, who basically hadn't done very much anyway, just brought us the drinks. The band had been going non stop for about at least the 3 hours that we were there. She said I should have made the tips the same. I don't know if that meant only giving the band 10 people 50 or give the waitress 100. What is the tipping etiquette?

Why didn't your GF give them the tip then?

[Lacessit]

12 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

Tricky.  A lot of Thais see it as their duty to get money out of foreign pockets and into Thai ones.  There's even a special name for foreigners who don't give money freely to Thai people - farang keenok.

 

There's also the chance of her losing face if you don't tip enough.

 

Ask her how much a Thai would have tipped.

I don't know about anywhere else, but the Thais at the massage shop and on the golf course never tip more than the absolute minimum.

[James9999]

45 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

You did the right thing but ask your concerned girlfriend if the band was performing free and relying on tips (they weren't) or whether they were getting paid by the bar and ask her how much she tipped the band in comparison to your tip.     

I just assumed the band were paid. It was't the amount as such it was the fact I gave a 100 to band, but 10 members and 50 to the waitress. She said both should have been the same but I dont see why.

[Cameroni]

18 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

Tricky.  A lot of Thais see it as their duty to get money out of foreign pockets and into Thai ones.  There's even a special name for foreigners who don't give money freely to Thai people - farang keenok.

 

There's also the chance of her losing face if you don't tip enough.

 

Ask her how much a Thai would have tipped.

 

This is the crux of the matter, Thais would not tip at all, or very little. Vietnamese call foreigners who tip "idiots" and make fun of them.

[James9999]

At a restaurant I will usually just give them the small change, unless the service was exceptional. But have noticed that often make up the change with excessive amounts of 10 baht coins. A suggetsion may be?

[James9999]

16 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

Why didn't your GF give them the tip then?

Good point.

[James9999]

23 minutes ago, ericthai said:

hmm.. ask her what she meant?? I dont think anyone here can tell you what she was thinking.

That is why I was asking. She made it sound that it was some sort of etiquette issue. Clearly that is not the case. I have only ever been in situation where you tip one person. I did think that the 50 baht to the waitress was over generous.

[Middle Aged Grouch]

No problem for staff when the thai's don't leave a penny as a tip. But when it's a farang and he or she does not leave a tip, it's the long faces and better not go back there the next time. Such behaviour is damaging the image of Thailand and preventing tourists to want to come or come back.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, James9999 said:

Afterwards the gf took me to task

Let her do the tipping in the local bars, restaurants, etc. She knows what makes sense - for whatever reason.

You avoid conflict with this behavior. Watch and learn.

[rattlesnake]

1 hour ago, James9999 said:

She said I should have made the tips the same. I don't know if that meant only giving the band 10 people 50 or give the waitress 100.

Why don't you ask her?

[StreetCowboy]

4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Let her do the tipping in the local bars, restaurants, etc. She knows what makes sense - for whatever reason.

You avoid conflict with this behavior. Watch and learn.

I’ve got no idea why she lets him interact with Thai people.  I can’t see the relationship lasting.  If he can’t trust her to deal with the locals, or if he has to be the Big Iam handling the money… 

[Terrance8812]

Where is Soi Cowboy? Sounds like it could be a place up in Korat near the Chokchai Farm. Is it also a good place though for live music in Thailand in general?

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

I tip my massage lady and caddies more than the standard fee.

 

I have no experience with caddies, but the massage ladies are a good example. If we go to foot massage, we pay 300B for an hour massage each, and 100B each for the massage people.

Personally, I think the 100B is way too much compared to the original price. 33% tip! But it seems that is the normal amount which the people who work there expect. So sure, I or we could give less tip, maybe 20B or even 50B. Would that be a good idea if we go there regularly? I don't think so. Because we would pay less than "everybody" else. Would it affect the service. I guess so.

In my mind I summarized that to: The massage cost 400B including tip. It's not exactly cheap, but I can live with it because the service is good and just around the corner.

I think sometimes it makes sense that we adjust to whatever is the norm (in that place).

 

[it is what it is]

 

here's a couple of tips, one) don't tip, if workers aren't happy with the remuneration for their job they should get another job, two) get another gf, she sounds a right pain. next.

[RSD1]

4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I have no experience with caddies

I heard the female caddies in Thailand are great for rounding up your balls on the back nine. And I always get a hole in one when they are managing my gear.