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How do you survive a visit from the dreaded Thai family?


Chris Daley

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I don't speak Thai & they are not English speakers.....They eat, laugh, take neverending temple explorations....

I have to give them credit, they maximize every moment they spend together.....

I tuck away in a bedroom somewhere & read.....

They know that I don't speak Thai, so all I do is interrupt their table talk....

I'm invited to all, but choose carefully....12+ hours a day of temple hopping isn't on my to do list....

When face to face, I ask if I don't know but keep it smiling & light....

Fortunately, family wise, there's always a lot of good humor and laughter....

 

AND - We are settled in 700k away....So, it's either a long drive or train travel = no surprise drop in's or nearby family drama or rescues..... Distance is a good thing....

My wife is good about remaining informed, yet uninvolved....

 

 

Edited by pgrahmm
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With my lot (Khmer peasants, & no doubt with other varieties too) a visit isn't such a problem, particularly as it will - at least in my experience - almost never involve over-night stay. That's because the family farm is only 40km away and the teenagers have gradually departed for the engineering joints, factories and 7/11s of Bangers.

 

So almost noone ever actually visits (we visit them). When they do, they sit outside in the shade, on woven mats as necessary, and drink the bottled water you offer from the fridge, and on fairly rare occasions a single or double shot espresso. They are in any case very shy to enter a large modern falang home with chairs to sit on ...

 

When several arrive for most of the day every 3 weeks to mow the lawns & tidy up outside, we feed them with take-aways from PTT and water them thru the day.

 

The one thing I have to make sure of is that handy outdoors tools (rake, spade, ladder, wheelbarrow ...) don't disappear back to the farm, along with the sacks of clippings for the buffalo.

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Start to accumulate chores that need to be done in the week prior to arrival, then carefully spread them out during the duration of Yai's visit. I'll do lunches and dinners, but my chore list gets in the way of anything else. It's an unsaid agreement,  everyone's happy.

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16 hours ago, Chris Daley said:

They recently did an 18 hour temple run.  The usually 8 hours in the car and 2 hours to look around and burn in the sun then right back in the car again for 8 hours.  I avoided this one by saying I was busy.  It worked well.

 

How about you?  How do you avoid a visit from the Thai family?

Let's be realistic here: Do you want to see the family for many hours? Do they want to see you for many hours?

The answer is probably no and no.

So now it's only a question of finding a polite reason. Like: The soi dog seems to be sick. I have to look every hour if he is ok. Or something like that. It doesn't really matter what you say, any bs story will do the job.

And of course, a donation from you so that they can have a good time is always welcome.

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17 hours ago, Chris Daley said:

They recently did an 18 hour temple run.  The usually 8 hours in the car and 2 hours to look around and burn in the sun then right back in the car again for 8 hours.  I avoided this one by saying I was busy.  It worked well.

 

How about you?  How do you avoid a visit from the Thai family?

My in laws are great for the most part but a temple trip is hellish regardless of the company. I would never be expected to join them.  I'll have lunch and dinners with visiting in laws but it isn't required and can easily tell them I'm busy.  If you respect them and they respect you then in most cases everybody gets on with  there life.  

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49 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

I have a set of ground rules for choosing a life partner, by the second date I want to know about her relationship with her folks, and I will avoid getting seriously involved with somebody who does not have a healthy relationship with their family, and does not have a family which I really like and respect. This is where she came from, this is what she's made of, and if you don't like her family, for me that's a real warning sign. Same applies to your friends. If your friends don't like her, that's another warning sign, listen to it. 

 

I love the occasional visits from her family, I adore her mom and dad, and am quite close to both her sister and her brother. They're all remarkable, hard-working, honest, kind, and really fun people to be around. And her folks did an amazing job of raising her and helping to create a remarkable woman. The finest I have ever known. 

 

Maybe I was very fortunate but I was also very picky, and I took a very very long time to get to know her and her family. It paid off. 

 Yea you are so wonderful haha

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17 hours ago, Chris Daley said:

They recently did an 18 hour temple run.  The usually 8 hours in the car and 2 hours to look around and burn in the sun then right back in the car again for 8 hours.  I avoided this one by saying I was busy.  It worked well.

 

How about you?  How do you avoid a visit from the Thai family?

After thinking about this for a while, my answer is that you can't.

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I do understand the questioning after Mother's Day, everyone is faced with the family again and the necessary obligations.
I too don't speak Thai, but with a visit to a restaurant it is manageable, after all we farang don't speak with our mouths full....

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1 minute ago, safarimike11 said:

After thinking about this for a while, my answer is that you can't.

 

 

When we first moved out here my wife circumvented any problems with me objecting.......by simply not telling me.

 

People would just start rolling up......... as late as 9pm.......and stay till the early morning.

 

I put a stop to that sharpish.

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3 minutes ago, Will B Good said:

 

 

When we first moved out here my wife circumvented any problems with me objecting.......by simply not telling me.

 

People would just start rolling up......... as late as 9pm.......and stay till the early morning.

 

I put a stop to that sharpish.

Well done; I tried - and succeeded temporarily, but it didn't last. I could expand, but I don't want to depress myself right now.

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Just now, safarimike11 said:

Well done; I tried - and succeeded temporarily, but it didn't last. I could expand, but I don't want to depress myself right now.

 

 

On a brighter note.....after insisting I was informed of what was happening......she would tell me the family was coming around......she'd cook all day......then no one would turn up.......winner

 

They are strange when it comes to planning anything.......laissez-faire doesn't even come close. 

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1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

I have a set of ground rules for choosing a life partner, by the second date I want to know about her relationship with her folks, and I will avoid getting seriously involved with somebody who does not have a healthy relationship with their family, and does not have a family which I really like and respect. This is where she came from, this is what she's made of, and if you don't like her family, for me that's a real warning sign. Same applies to your friends. If your friends don't like her, that's another warning sign, listen to it. 

 

I love the occasional visits from her family, I adore her mom and dad, and am quite close to both her sister and her brother. They're all remarkable, hard-working, honest, kind, and really fun people to be around. And her folks did an amazing job of raising her and helping to create a remarkable woman. The finest I have ever known. 

 

Maybe I was very fortunate but I was also very picky, and I took a very very long time to get to know her and her family. It paid off. 

How often did you sent away the "perfect girl" because you didn't like her family?

I guess I would also avoid some bad cases of people who are always drunk, always demand money, etc. But it's definitely not easy to find the perfect girl including a good family.

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9 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

How often did you sent away the "perfect girl" because you didn't like her family?

I guess I would also avoid some bad cases of people who are always drunk, always demand money, etc. But it's definitely not easy to find the perfect girl including a good family.

Nobody is perfect.

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Just now, newnative said:

      I have wonderful Thai in-laws and I welcome their visits.   Spouse and I are just about finished with our new house, which will have more room for when family visits.

 

 

Joking aside mine are also fine. 

 

Never asked for anything.....have helped with various problems.....seem quite pleasant.....work staggeringly hard.

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My wife's parents died long before we met.  Her closest relatives are her younger sister and niece and nephew who are all quite pleasant and well educated, so I don't have any problem spending time with them. 

 

She also has aunts, uncles and cousins spread throughout Thailand, from Hat Yai up to Chiang Mai, but we rarely see them.

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48 minutes ago, Will B Good said:

They are strange when it comes to planning anything.......laissez-faire doesn't even come close. 

Yes, that was one of the first things I learned here.

 

Last-minute 'planning'. Characteristic of poor people who don't feel they're in charge of their own lives, Buddha's in charge, what will be will be ... Also explains their driving on the roads.

 

I am the neurotic opposite of all that. Drives my b/f up the wall.

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4 minutes ago, mfd101 said:

Yes, that was one of the first things I learned here.

 

Last-minute 'planning'. Characteristic of poor people who don't feel they're in charge of their own lives, Buddha's in charge, what will be will be ... Also explains their driving on the roads.

 

I am the neurotic opposite of all that. Drives my b/f up the wall.

 

 

Ha. My wife would say...... oh the girls are coming round to play cards tonight (my God they played for big money).

 

The doorbell would start to ring from 11am????.....they would still be there the day after having played for over 24 hours.

 

Or...... We are all going shopping to Koln for the day.......nothing happens...get to 3pm.....oh we're not going now???? Crazy

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