What stage of the relationship are you currently in with your Thai lady?

[Chris Daley]

Stage 1 Honeymoon Phase - She is adorable and you want to buy her things.  She seems like a decent person.

 

Stage 2 Financial Dependency Stage - The mask is now off.  She demands for things.  'If you don't keep this job, we are finished!!'

 

Stage 3 Abusive Stage - She is now an emotional an psychological bully.  Every little thing is an argument.  You can't do right for doing wrong.  Your entire life is now just to make her happy.

 

I drifted into stage 3 so I said 'okay sure, I'm going'...  She quickly went back to stage 2.  Nice meals, nice outfits, and a more pleasant personality.

 

How about you?  What stage of the relationship are you at with your Thai lady?

[Kinnock]

13 years at Stage 1 .... except for a few days each month when it's like the beach landing scene from Saving Private Ryan.

[Bangkokhatter]

The divorced and couldn't be happier stage.

[MalcolmB]

Your stage 1 and 2 is based on money.

 

Did she stop working at stage 2? 
 

How did you meet her?

[Celsius]

At the stage where she has a job and pays for her own things.

[save the frogs]

26 minutes ago, Chris Daley said:

Stage 2 Financial Dependency Stage - The mask is now off.  She demands for things.  'If you don't keep this job, we are finished!!'

 

To pretend we're living in a world where money doesn't matter in relationships is delusional.

Best thing is to gauge at the beginning of the relationship what the financial expectations are.

Although it's impolite to discuss openly in a polite society that likes to pretend that relationships are all about love. 

This delusion and lack of being up front about finances is the single biggest reason for divorce. 

 

Edited September 1 by save the frogs

[Yagoda]

I paid the last one off at about 1am, that was back in June but I doubt she will be at the same bar

[freedomnow]

Never really left stage 1 as my g/f Masters grad and great at her job(s).

[Keeps]

We are at the stage where she giggles if she happens to accidentally fart in front of me whereas previously, she was absolutely mortified. 

[JK-Trilly]

Stage 1 - She's crazy AF, but your ignoring the obvious signs because your too busy thinking about when she goes up and down on your little bobbin and thimble for 15 minute a day. After all, she's also special and different. And she recognizes all your good qualities like no other woman ever has. Plus she's 20 years younger than you, so you are the luckiest man on earth. 

 

Stage 2 - You realize that not only that she really is crazy, but unintelligent too and her life is ruled by a combination of childish TikTok influencers and ridiculous superstitious beliefs. And she's got a bunch of unhealthy bad habits. Plus she's put on 20 pounds. Also, you finally start to realize this really isn't a healthy thing at all for your own bank account. 

 

Stage 3 - Your in too deep. The arguments start getting physical, that 15 minute a day thing that you loved so much at the beginning has long come and gone. Special and different has turned into psycho and calculating. You're now thinking about cutting your losses, and hopefully, if you're smart, you are only moments away from running like hell while you still can. 

[JK-Trilly]

1 hour ago, Keeps said:

We are at the stage where she giggles if she happens to accidentally fart in front of me whereas previously, she was absolutely mortified. 

Ah, the crescendo of any romantic relationship. Who could possibly ask for anything more. 

[Utalk2mutt]

I’m at Stage 4 without the desire to buy her things as she works and has her own money and I married her last week. Together 7.5 years I have never seen stages 2 and 3 but that’s not to say I won’t. I’m not naive enough to think those stages may never appear who knows?If they do however then I know where the door is.

[Enoon]

1a.  I want to buy her things.  She is a decent person.

 

It has been getting more like that for the same amount of time as in the first answer you got.

 

Sounds like 2011 was a good harvest year.

 

 

[Antioch]

The happy to be out of all those stages and free again.  Now when I eat out I only pay for one.  No more family group to pay for, no more sick this or that, and so on.

I'm free to enjoy all if Asia and the lovely pre stage 1 ladies that I like.  But that's just me, I admire those who persevere and give their all.

I've seen the results of a lost illusion, especially those who built houses on family land and put everything in her name.

Yep, lost the lot, even the TV set.

[Bohemianfish]

We celebrated our 10th anniversary here in Snohomish county, WA, Seattle. She came here 10 years ago. Met online 13 years go.

She's had her things, I've had my things (issues). On the whole, I was connected to her back in Dec 2011. We have similar backgrounds in many ways, and its okay.

She's Issan, it matters for everything and nothing.

Been married to Korean, Chinese that's only a small part of story.

 

All is good.

Edited September 1 by Bohemianfish

[CharlieH]

The 'it is what is" stage.

 

After 18 years neither of us are going anywhere, so, "it is what it is",

Like many relationships, been through most scenarios and still here, and going through them together was probably the cement that kept us together.

[OneMoreFarang]

Long term stability.

She is my girlfriend and not my wife. We are happy together.

She is not as cute anymore as she once was, but she is still a nice "girl" - just older.

I make the rules, and I leave her enough freedom to do what she wants, i.e. seeing her family and friends.

If she would do crazy things like other women, then she knows I would throw her out. And because we are not married that would mean she would have to look for work or a new sponsor. I don't think she wants that.

All in all, we are happy together.

I think all in all guys have to make the rules and limits clear to their girl. If guys don't do that, then she takes over. You don't want that.

 

[grain]

11 years into a rock-solid relationship based on trust and genuine fondness for each other.

[FarmerJoe]

6 hours ago, Keeps said:

We are at the stage where she giggles if she happens to accidentally fart in front of me whereas previously, she was absolutely mortified. 

[rct99q]

1 hour ago, grain said:

11 years into a rock-solid relationship based on trust and genuine fondness for each other.

Yup, 14 years into it, and one of the biggest things is we trust each other. Love? Who ever knows for sure, but we get along, still have fun, and trust each other. Tis a nice feeling.

[FarmerJoe]

Coming up on 20 years together and she still treats me like a king. No arguments ever. Has her own business and is very good at bookkeeping and money management. if it wasn't for her, I'd probably still be sitting on a bar stool in a dank bar with nothing to show after a lifetime of working. I was partying my life away when we met. She pretty much saved me from a inglourious ending.

[klauskunkel]

Stage 4: the "comfortably numb" stage (Pink Floyd)

[JK-Trilly]

Stage 4 - You find yourself supporting her whole dead-beat family because you were told that doing this is part of Thai culture and that you're also making lots of Buddhist merit by doing that, so that there is your reward. Meanwhile, you're questioning your sanity and wondering how you got yourself into this insane predicament in the first place. At the same time, you are starting to wonder why her own "brother", who is only a couple of years older than her, and looks nothing like her, spends so much time with her at your place when you are out at work or off somewhere meeting up with friends. 
 

Edited September 2 by JK-Trilly

[Lacessit]

I take care of her, she takes care of me. She tells me we have been together 14 years, I think it's a bit less.

 

She was married to a Thai who was the whole 9 yards - a drunk, abusive and a gambler.

 

We both try to stay in good shape. We have an argument, on average, once every six months. It's over in one hour.

 

We used to screw like rabbits. Age has caught up with both of us. We still get it on occasionally.

 

I am helping put her grand-daughter through university.

 

We are happy together.

 

 

[nobodysfriend]

25 yrs already ...

Lovely mia , sometimes ...

Sometimes turns nuts .

A good heart , but lazy .

Does not know how to make her own money .

Anyway , I support her ... but when she goes crazy I kick her out ... she lives in her own house now .

Better for my mental health .

[save the frogs]

16 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

She was married to a Thai who was the whole 9 yards - a drunk, abusive and a gambler.

That's a blessing for you.

If they've been through an abusive relationship before you, they appreciate you a lot more. 

 

[spidermike007]

At nearly 20 years we have settled into the delightful stage. Every day with her is a good day. She is funny, loving, affectionate, charming, always has my back, is smart, a great cook and a wonderful partner. And she just does not have off days. I got very lucky with her. 

Edited September 2 by spidermike007

[Lacessit]

21 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

That's a blessing for you.

If they've been through an abusive relationship before you, they appreciate you a lot more. 

 

 

I come from an era when hitting a woman put the hitter in the category of low-life scum. Beyond the pale.

 

You're probably right. Every so often, she will come up to me and give me a hug, for no apparent reason.

 

 

[maesariang]

Mai pen rai stage. Fart on each other stage.

[GinBoy2]

20 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

At nearly 20 years we have settled into the delightful stage. Every day with her is a good day. She is funny, loving, affectionate, charming, always has my back, is smart, a great cook and a wonderful partner. And she just does not have off days. I got very lucky with her. 

Yeah those of us in the 20+ years it's a whole different thing.

 

We're in our 50's 60's, kids are all grown up and we're just 'comfortable' with each other.

 

Nothing to prove, we just live a generally happy life, kids and grandkids.

 

I certainly don't understand how the older guys figure it out with a gf half their age, I'd be exhausted.

 

So me and my old bird, we potter around, go to work, go out for dinner day trips to the kids.

 

Must sound pretty boring for some, but for us, it's just back to that 'comfortable' thing