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Do you still see girls in bars which you would consider as girlfriend/wife?


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5 minutes ago, Hummin said:
1 hour ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Then aren't you judging ???...  otherwise you wouldn't have to tip-toe around the possibility that the other girls were / are ho's or ex ho's...  

 

I know what all of my friends Wive's & GF's do - because there is no question of their 'virtue' (for want of a better phrase).

 

 

Its not important...  until it is....

... its clear there are many successful relationships where the guy is with an ex BG...   its those pulling the wool over their own eyes that draw some mirth. 

 

 

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Most farang gf/wifes have more or less searched out foreigners for a reason, and to say it in a proper 

 

Your generalisation perhaps highlights the earlier 'sensitivity' surround the approach and avoidance of discussion of the backgrounds of partners of others in your social circle...

 

In all the examples I know, I would disagree that the 'farang gf/wives' have more or less searched out foreigners for a reason....  i.e. there was not this 'targeted approach' you imply. 

 

This may be more a geography and age thing - I'm not sure... But, of those close to me, the meeting and interaction has been no different from Thai's meeting each other... 

.. i.e. introductions through work colleagues, friends etc and yes, also on nights out - but the females in question are not those who would 'actively search out foreigners'... 

 

...  those types of girls; I earlier referred to them as occupational farang hunters... would be avoided by most of those who I know as the girl would would only date a foreigner is 'somewhat of a red flag'...   

 

 

5 minutes ago, Hummin said:
1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I am pretty sure the women look at each other and it won't take 5min and they have some good ideas where the others come from.

And it seems most "normal" women don't want to socialize with (ex) bargirls. 

You have bar girls who just do kot want to interact with bar other bar girls 😄

 

Just let's say, city girls often do not have any common with farmer girls. Both can have a history either as a bar or freelance, sometimes in combination with other work/occupation. 

 

Socio-economic-edicational dymamics - Thai's can be polite, but they struggle to mix with comfort across the divide... 

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On 9/2/2024 at 4:46 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

I met my gf in a bar, many years ago. At that time, it seemed almost everybody met their girlfriends in bars - at least the people I know personally.

I am not looking for a new gf, but I have to admit from time to time I play that game: what if. What if my gf would have a deadly accident and I would be single again and looking for a new girl.

Would I look in a bar? Any other specific places? Online?

What kind of girl/women would I look for? Similar to what my gf was when I met her many years ago? Similar how she was recently? Something completely different?

 

In a way I would like to have another one similar to what my gf used to be. Young, cute, innocent, happy enjoying life.

Apart from the big issue if such a girl would want me, it seems to me there are not many young, cute, innocent girls around anymore. For the sake of this thread, let's say >= 20 years old.

Maybe once a week I go with a friend through a couple of bars in Nana. And what do I see? Mostly fat girls who are nearer to 30 than 20, many over 30. Most of them are a little or a lot overweight. And very few give me the impression that they are just nice girls. I think years ago there were plenty of nice girls in the bars. Now, not anymore.

Obviously, my vision and perception changed with age, experience, etc. I am also not as horny anymore, so the "wow, I want her" situations don't happen much anymore.

But all in all, I think there are just not many attractive girls in the bars anymore.

Sometimes I still see cute waitresses in restaurants, nice girls in 7/11, etc. But in the bars? Seldom, very seldom.

 

What do you think about this? If you are not against the concept of having a gf from a bar, do you still see some or many girls which you would consider girlfriend material?

Again, to make this clear, I am sure many of the girls would not be interested in me, even if I wanted them. I know that. But my point is still: There are almost no nice girls in the bars anymore, independent of the fact if they would want me. How about you?

 

 

1, I wonder if this will be read out in court in the not to distant future after your gf meets with a suspicious accident.

 

2, Isn't it a good thing that "nice innocent girls" are waitresses and working in 7/11s now and not feeling the need to prostitute themselves?

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1 hour ago, BangkokReady said:

1, I wonder if this will be read out in court in the not to distant future after your gf meets with a suspicious accident.

 

2, Isn't it a good thing that "nice innocent girls" are waitresses and working in 7/11s now and not feeling the need to prostitute themselves?

 

1. It won't.

 

2. Believe it or not, I like it when girls work in proper jobs. But it seems many girls start in such jobs and then "move up". It reminds me of a very cute waitress who I saw for weeks in a restaurant. A wonderful girl.

And then one night I walked in a bar, not too far away from that restaurant, and I noticed this new cute girl on stage. And I knew I knew her from somewhere. I guess it took a minute or so before I made the connection between that girl in bikini on stage and that innocent waitress.

She was not the only girl like that.

And talking to girls in bars it seems many of them worked in 7/11, some in Swensen's, etc. 

Sometimes they decide by themselves to move to bars, often it's the idea of their Thai boyfriend who has a great idea how they could afford that new motorcycle. 

 

 

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9 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

She wasn't innocent then.  That was all in your head.

 

Ok, I guess I use the word innocent in Thailand a little different than other people use it, especially outside of Thailand.

 

There are obviously very innocent girls, who don't even know that there is a connection between sex and babies.

And then there are innocent girls who never saw a guy naked.

No, I don't have very innocent girls in mind.

For me, in Bangkok nightlife, the word means a girl who is a little shy, and especially shy going on stage and moving her body. She had sex already, but she doesn't perform like she is the star in a movie. 

She is one of those girls who the elder girls (have to) train first and tell her what to do, what not to do, and all that.

Innocent - relatively.

 

 

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On 9/3/2024 at 11:09 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

 

Now I would probably look for a girl who didn't work in a bar. But here are some reasons why a bargirl is maybe an option:

 

Many of us elder guys want a pretty cute sexy girl. And many of us accept the fact that those girls would typically not look for an old guy - even he is fit and handsome and whatever. So, money, and all the things which money can buy, are a good incentive to get such girl. Bargirls are obviously willing to exchange money for their company. So that makes them already a good fit.

 

In bars it is easy to see 1000 girls a night. We see them with few clothes so before we even exchange one single word, we can decide already which once look and move the way we like it.

 

In just one night it should be easy to talk to at least 10 girls which we preselected from the 1000 on stage. And if we think "she is the one" then let's go and an hour later we have a better idea how we match.

 

What's the alternative? "Normal" bars where some girls are ordinary girls and others are out to make money? Online dating with the same problem? Maybe girls from work or randomly from the skytrain, supermarket, whatever?

 

Bars are definitely a place where there are lots of available girls. Some of them are new in business and nice. We don't need hundreds of them. One is enough. 

 
Those are good points, but I use dating apps. But you are right; there are no easy judgements, and you have been lucky, which is excellent.

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On 9/2/2024 at 4:46 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

I met my gf in a bar, many years ago. At that time, it seemed almost everybody met their girlfriends in bars - at least the people I know personally.

I am not looking for a new gf, but I have to admit from time to time I play that game: what if. What if my gf would have a deadly accident and I would be single again and looking for a new girl.

Would I look in a bar? Any other specific places? Online?

What kind of girl/women would I look for? Similar to what my gf was when I met her many years ago? Similar how she was recently? Something completely different?

 

In a way I would like to have another one similar to what my gf used to be. Young, cute, innocent, happy enjoying life.

Apart from the big issue if such a girl would want me, it seems to me there are not many young, cute, innocent girls around anymore. For the sake of this thread, let's say >= 20 years old.

Maybe once a week I go with a friend through a couple of bars in Nana. And what do I see? Mostly fat girls who are nearer to 30 than 20, many over 30. Most of them are a little or a lot overweight. And very few give me the impression that they are just nice girls. I think years ago there were plenty of nice girls in the bars. Now, not anymore.

Obviously, my vision and perception changed with age, experience, etc. I am also not as horny anymore, so the "wow, I want her" situations don't happen much anymore.

But all in all, I think there are just not many attractive girls in the bars anymore.

Sometimes I still see cute waitresses in restaurants, nice girls in 7/11, etc. But in the bars? Seldom, very seldom.

 

What do you think about this? If you are not against the concept of having a gf from a bar, do you still see some or many girls which you would consider girlfriend material?

Again, to make this clear, I am sure many of the girls would not be interested in me, even if I wanted them. I know that. But my point is still: There are almost no nice girls in the bars anymore, independent of the fact if they would want me. How about you?

 

See it from the other side; why should a young beauty let her body be touched by an old fat, stinking, sweating farang???

Now you know why you wouldn't find them there. Now they're probably older, STD carrier, drug or alc addicted. 

More questions???😳

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5 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

Without the use of a good private detective (astonishing that more men do not use their services here), who can find out if she is online with profiles, dig up info about her past, etc.

Look at facebook!

It's interesting how many girls publish all you want to know, or don't really want to know on their faceook pages.

If she doesn't want to give you info to her page, ask any other girl in the bar and look at her "friends". Likely the one you are interested in is listed there.

And then of course some girls have more than one page (at the same time or over years). But because they use the same or similar names, it's not too difficult to find those other pages - sometimes with astonishing differences.

 

 A private eye might be able to find more, but a little personal research will likely bring up already lots of information. 

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4 hours ago, newbee2022 said:

See it from the other side; why should a young beauty let her body be touched by an old fat, stinking, sweating farang???

Now you know why you wouldn't find them there. Now they're probably older, STD carrier, drug or alc addicted. 

More questions???😳

 

Maybe you are an old fat, stinking, sweating farang. I am not the youngest anymore, but that's about it.

 

Many girls and women all over the world want an easy life with a guy who is nice to them and has enough money for a good life.

My gf is small and brown. Most Thai guys would not be attracted to her at all.

There are many Thai girls, mostly from up-country like that. Basically, they have the choice between some Thai Somchai, who was not able to find anything better (white skin and all that) or they hook up with a farang who likes brown girls.

Some find a rich young farang. Others have the choice between a young farang with little money or an older farang with more money. Now you can guess what most of them prefer. 

 

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41 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Look at facebook!

It's interesting how many girls publish all you want to know, or don't really want to know on their faceook pages.

If she doesn't want to give you info to her page, ask any other girl in the bar and look at her "friends". Likely the one you are interested in is listed there.

And then of course some girls have more than one page (at the same time or over years). But because they use the same or similar names, it's not too difficult to find those other pages - sometimes with astonishing differences.

 

 A private eye might be able to find more, but a little personal research will likely bring up already lots of information. 

Very true. Recently my sister in law went through a divorce. In the time leading up to the divorce, she was incessantly posting stuff on facebook, about his infidelities, and other indiscretions. I kept asking my wife, why would she do that? Why does she want everyone to know, and to see a tragic event in her private life? But, she had lost all of her ability to discriminate, and make that kind of decision, due to a life of obsessive posting online. That stuff is public. It is out there, and it exacerbates humiliation, for those who do not think things through. 

 

Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter addiction is real and it is dangerous. Not only does it prevent you from living in the present, it can also leave you with crippling anxiety and insecurities. But few people talk about the real danger of social media addictions. These addictions make you boring. Nobody wants to hear about what he said on Facebook, what she said on Instagram or what you said on Twitter. If they wanted to know, they would have already seen it, liked it, and moved on.

 

But, as you stated, it is like a volume of your life story, for anyone (or the authorities) to peruse, if you foolishly allow that. You want to post a picture of our meal on social media? Don't take a picture of me, and don't post my location on your page, nobody needs to know where I am. 

 

Edited by spidermike007
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35 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Very true. Recently my sister in law went through a divorce. In the time leading up to the divorce, she was incessantly posting stuff on facebook, about his infidelities, and other indiscretions. I kept asking my wife, why would she do that? Why does she want everyone to know, and to see a tragic event in her private life? But, she had lost all of her ability to discriminate, and make that kind of decision, due to a life of obsessive posting online. That stuff is public. It is out there, and it exacerbates humiliation, for those who do not think things through. 

 

Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter addiction is real and it is dangerous. Not only does it prevent you from living in the present, it can also leave you with crippling anxiety and insecurities. But few people talk about the real danger of social media addictions. These addictions make you boring. Nobody wants to hear about what he said on Facebook, what she said on Instagram or what you said on Twitter. If they wanted to know, they would have already seen it, liked it, and moved on.

 

But, as you stated, it is like a volume of your life story, for anyone (or the authorities) to peruse, if you foolishly allow that. You want to post a picture of our meal on social media? Don't take a picture of me, and don't post my location on your page, nobody needs to know where I am. 

 

Even if people don't post every detail by themselves, their "friends" do a lot. 

At some stage I was interested in a girl who had very few post on her one facebook page (or at least I couldn't see them).

But her sister, obviously on her friends list, was so nice to publish some picture of the last birthday party with her sister and her sister's boyfriend...

Some people may find disturbing to check facebook pages from their special girl and her friends and other contacts. But sometimes it's better to find out early what is going on and not too late.

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33 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Even if people don't post every detail by themselves, their "friends" do a lot. 

At some stage I was interested in a girl who had very few post on her one facebook page (or at least I couldn't see them).

But her sister, obviously on her friends list, was so nice to publish some picture of the last birthday party with her sister and her sister's boyfriend...

Some people may find disturbing to check facebook pages from their special girl and her friends and other contacts. But sometimes it's better to find out early what is going on and not too late.

 

Thats somewhat 'stalky'... but again, its not really is it, the info is public and just requires a few 'smarts' to learn what you are getting into...  a very common sense approach IMO... 

 

A mate on a footie team was once dating a girl to me looked like a harsh bit of brass... 

He introduced her as some sort of 'assistant at a school'...  up to him I thought.

He posted a photo on FB, linked to her... and sure enough - given her friends, the photos etc she wasn't a school assistant...    'somewhat stalky'... yup - curiosity got the better of me - I just wanted to know if my instincts were still 'up to date' !!... 

 

Another mate on the footie team had a missus who looked like a ho...   but he never said anything about that...   my wife spoke to the girl and within minutes the girl had offered her life story, she did not try and hide her previous in the bar - a nice girl, seemed friendly enough etc...  

 

 

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38 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

Even if people don't post every detail by themselves, their "friends" do a lot. 

At some stage I was interested in a girl who had very few post on her one facebook page (or at least I couldn't see them).

But her sister, obviously on her friends list, was so nice to publish some picture of the last birthday party with her sister and her sister's boyfriend...

Some people may find disturbing to check facebook pages from their special girl and her friends and other contacts. But sometimes it's better to find out early what is going on and not too late.

I'm in total agreement with you on that. I always find it rather peculiar when guys who are getting serious with a gal don't want to do any research into her background, are willing to take her completely at her word, and buy into her storyline, hook line and sinker. I'm not saying that all women cannot be trusted, but I am saying that lies and exaggerations are common, and often times people leave out rather significant elements of their personal history which could have a dramatic impact on your life together. 

 

And when it comes to a bar girl, multiply all that times ten, vs. a civilian. 

 

With the exception of the men who are clever enough to hire a private detective to look into her background, and pay some real money to do it right, there is no way to know. They all have stories. And most of the stories are ones that they know we want to hear. So many times I have heard friends say, "Oh no, she is new. She has only been working at the bar two weeks. I was her first customer. She worked in a factory before that. I could tell how innocent she was'. Yeah right!

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7 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

Without the use of a good private detective (astonishing that more men do not use their services here),

 

I paid 2000 USD for the best detective agency in Philippines to vet my Filipina. They sent two guys to her store and her house disguised as flower delivery guys and proceeded to ask the neighbours. Took some photos and sent me the report that the neighbours think she has a great reputation. So the report was glowing and very positive.

 

What they did not know was what she did online. It turned out this Fiilipina was a cheater, a liar and her body count was 3 times higher than she said. However, the private detectives had no way to know this, and instead sent me a report how wonderful she was.

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1 minute ago, Cameroni said:

 

I paid 2000 USD for the best detective agency in Philippines to vet my Filipina. They sent two guys to her store and her house disguised as flower delivery guys and proceeded to ask the neighbours. Took some photos and sent me the report that the neighbours think she has a great reputation. So the report was glowing and very positive.

 

What they did not know was what she did online. It turned out this Fiilipina was a cheater, a liar and her body count was 3 times higher than she said. However, the private detectives had no way to know this, and instead sent me a report how wonderful she was.

I tend to think you are paranoid and will ruin every relationship being over suspicious 😒 

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Just now, Hummin said:

I tend to think you are paranoid and will ruin every relationship being over suspicious 😒 

 

Well, sometimes you can sense when someone is a liar. There was something very off about this Filipina. It turned out she herself admitted she was a cheater and a liar. I was right to be suspicous of her. My mistake was thinking a detective agency would be able to provide answers. They did not. However, I was able to find out by myself.

 

With some women you should be suspicious. I'm not with my current Thai gf and trust her.

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22 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Well, sometimes you can sense when someone is a liar. There was something very off about this Filipina. It turned out she herself admitted she was a cheater and a liar. I was right to be suspicous of her. My mistake was thinking a detective agency would be able to provide answers. They did not. However, I was able to find out by myself.

 

With some women you should be suspicious. I'm not with my current Thai gf and trust her.

I have ended relationships because I had doubts, you went a bit further. 

 

If not sure, you are sure! Simple as that

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2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

Maybe you are an old fat, stinking, sweating farang. I am not the youngest anymore, but that's about it.

 

Many girls and women all over the world want an easy life with a guy who is nice to them and has enough money for a good life.

My gf is small and brown. Most Thai guys would not be attracted to her at all.

There are many Thai girls, mostly from up-country like that. Basically, they have the choice between some Thai Somchai, who was not able to find anything better (white skin and all that) or they hook up with a farang who likes brown girls.

Some find a rich young farang. Others have the choice between a young farang with little money or an older farang with more money. Now you can guess what most of them prefer. 

 

Yeah, you're right. Many hookers in Thailand. (My remarks I didn't mean personally actually)

But to live with a fat belly and bald old man it's not their desire at all. Could you imagine to be in your 40s to live with a "girl" of 75 ??? I doubt it. In case you do....what drives you? No need to work anymore, a short time to live with her only, having some pleasure besides and the chance to inherit a fat bank account and some properties. Language? Not necessary. Everybody  loves and lives a different life in their own bubble. Or are you interested to meet her friends, some with nappies already? I doubt it.

Do don't believe young girls would fall in love in old me.

If you see a couple remember: He bought her body but not her mind.👍

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50 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

I paid 2000 USD for the best detective agency in Philippines to vet my Filipina. They sent two guys to her store and her house disguised as flower delivery guys and proceeded to ask the neighbours. Took some photos and sent me the report that the neighbours think she has a great reputation. So the report was glowing and very positive.

 

What they did not know was what she did online. It turned out this Fiilipina was a cheater, a liar and her body count was 3 times higher than she said. However, the private detectives had no way to know this, and instead sent me a report how wonderful she was.

Jeez. You would have thought that was fairly easy stuff to unearth. If they looked for it. I hear you can get a fairly competent PD here for 20,000 baht, or so. 

 

I have known Thai women who have earned well over a million baht a year. I have known women who have had six boyfriends, at one time, who sent them a total of 100,000 baht per month. No idea how they juggled that. We are talking about some real skill.

 

I also know a gal who worked in Singapore at a brothel. She was stunning. She earned 3 million baht cash, all clear, in 16 months. Took it all home. Built a very nice house, on family land, started a business, and is now independent financially. To this day. That was several years ago. Do not know how she relates to men at this point. And I doubt she will ever be capable of a healthy relationship, after 3,000 men or more, in my estimation. And she cannot conceive a child. But, she did establish herself. I give her credit for that.

 

Would a good detective have been able to get that info? One wonders. Guess it depends on how hard and how deep they dig. 

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3 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

You would have thought that was fairly easy stuff to unearth. If they looked for it.

 

Not really. Whilst the detectives were being told by the neighbours how chaste that Filipina is she was on Facebook and Viber chatting with guys she found on a myriad of dating websites, registered with a false name.

 

Unless you can hack into her Facebook or other social media and messenger accounts, you really have no way to know what she's really up to. When she meets those guys after chatting on Messenger and Viber, she goes to them, or they take her to 5 star resorts, so the neighbours would never know anyway.

 

Luckily I was able to get her to show me her entire Facebook, which is how the truth about her cheating and lying came out. Despite her deleting reams of incriminating info. She then admitted everything.

 

Detectives, btw, when they do surveillance, only do so half the day. So 12 hours. Not 24 hours. Unless you pay insane amounts of money. So surveillances is pretty useless.

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1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

So many times I have heard friends say, "Oh no, she is new. She has only been working at the bar two weeks. I was her first customer. She worked in a factory before that. I could tell how innocent she was'. Yeah right!

 

I am pretty sure that most guys who were or are active in the Thai nightlife have a pretty good idea how long a girl is already in that business. 

Not exactly how many weeks or months or years, but an experienced bargirl behaves different compared to a new girl. And guys, i.e. new tourists, who don't have an idea about this, shouldn't start any serious relationship with any Thai female. 

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59 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

the private detectives had no way to know this, and instead sent me a report how wonderful she was

Did he not know? Or did he know and not tell you?

 

That reminds me that many people think the Thai police don't know what is going on. IMHO they often know very well what is going on. But you won't find those details in the official reports...

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Just now, OneMoreFarang said:

Did he not know? Or did he know and not tell you?

 

That reminds me that many people think the Thai police don't know what is going on. IMHO they often know very well what is going on. But you won't find those details in the official reports...

 

The only way the private detectives could have known that this skank was talking to countless guys in her messenger and viber was if they had hacked her messenger and viber. That's too hard to do for anyone, including private detectives.

 

Her modus operandi was to meet guys under a false name on dating sites, and then chat on messenger or viber and go meet them for fancy holidays all over Philippines in top class resorts. Of course asking neighbours or friends would not uncover anything because they'd not know about it.

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35 minutes ago, newbee2022 said:

Yeah, you're right. Many hookers in Thailand. (My remarks I didn't mean personally actually)

But to live with a fat belly and bald old man it's not their desire at all. Could you imagine to be in your 40s to live with a "girl" of 75 ??? I doubt it. In case you do....what drives you? No need to work anymore, a short time to live with her only, having some pleasure besides and the chance to inherit a fat bank account and some properties. Language? Not necessary. Everybody  loves and lives a different life in their own bubble. Or are you interested to meet her friends, some with nappies already? I doubt it.

Do don't believe young girls would fall in love in old me.

If you see a couple remember: He bought her body but not her mind.👍

I think many people are at some stage of their life realistic about what is available for them.

I.e. if a girl is ugly, will she be able to find a young handsome guy who loves her? Probably not. Ok, so then she looks at her alternatives.

Some of us may have this romantic idea that love conquers everything. Like, I could live in poverty if it would be with the love of my life. But then, how many of us ever lived in poverty? If you never had a room with an AC and never had a car, maybe you dream about luxury life with AC and a car. Just an example. We don't all think the same and sometimes it is very difficult to guestimate how others think.

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5 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

The only way the private detectives could have known that this skank was talking to countless guys in her messenger and viber was if they had hacked her messenger and viber. That's too hard to do for anyone, including private detectives.

 

Her modus operandi was to meet guys under a false name on dating sites, and then chat on messenger or viber and go meet them for fancy holidays all over Philippines in top class resorts. Of course asking neighbours or friends would not uncover anything because they'd not know about it.

 

I guess there would be pictures of her on those dating sites. And if she met guys in person after she met them online, they the dating sites must have been (also) for that local market.

I never used those sites, but I guess it won't be too difficult to search on dating sites i.e. for a women about 27 years old, 150cm, 50kg, or something like that. And then look at the pictures.

Her customers found her there. Pretend to be a customer and search accordingly.

I never tried it, but I guess it should work.

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