Why Are You Even Here? The Surprising Attitudes of Some Expats in Thailand

[JamesPhuket10]

On 10/12/2024 at 5:46 PM, Bday Prang said:

I nearly stopped reading when you mentioned a "housing estate"  .  I have been to Phuket several times , the first time was just before the sunami, I was only there for a week and was not overly impressed.

Some years later I went to help with translation for a Thai friend who has a construction company and was looking to secure some building contracts with a group of Belgians initially and some English guys who were looking to build a few condos. 

We were all over the Island looking for suitable building plots,  again I left pretty much unimpressed, as did my Thai mate 

 I am perfectly happy here out in darkest Surin as are the few expats I associate with. plenty going on an never bored. plus the added bonus of no Indians or Russians or muslims  and very very few tourists, what's not to love ? . 

Ps Cats are free, dogs can be a little more expensive,  if one bites they are a stray but if you do kill one they suddenly have 5 owners all asking for money, so best to just keep on going 

 

The Tsunami was 20 years ago, and "some years later" was probably over a decade ago, a lot has changed, eg 95% of girlie bars are gone, replaced by restaurants and hotels, etc.

 

"Housing estate", nice quality houses,  and security guards so all is safe when I am out of the country, only residents are allowed in and out unless accompanied. 

 

I just looked out of the window, no Indians, Russians, or Muslims hanging about, the nearest tourist is probably ten miles away.

 

The few Russians I have come across while in Makro, restaurants, etc all seem quality people to me, seeing as it is Phuket they are the richer type, the riff-raff go to Pattaya I assume.

 

And I think most of the girls from the North East of Thailand who made up 99% of bar girls workers have returned home as no work for them here anymore, good riddance to that type of low life.  

 

But let's not waste time arguing over which area is best, you like the North East, I like Phuket and that is that. 👍

[JamesPhuket10]

On 10/12/2024 at 3:36 PM, Bday Prang said:

Not that surprising considering that in over 30 years here I could probably count on one hand the number of times I have heard a Thai use the Thai word for "toilet"    Without exception they will use the words "hong nam"    which does not mean "toilet"

 

It means the equivalent of the toilet, the literal translation is " water room', which is also very similar to the earlier English name for toilet which was, "water closet". (English, not American English)

 

Hence "toilet" is the English term for "Hong Nam" and vice versa. 

 

 

[JimTripper]

Is It Enough?

Yes, if they can't afford to be somewhere else. That does not mean someone "likes" it though. It just means they are tolerating it. So there will still be complaining. Nobody is going to pretend to like something they don't like. I suppose they could balance the complaints with how it's more affordable, etc, just like you stated.

[Bday Prang]

18 minutes ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

It means the equivalent of the toilet, the literal translation is " water room', which is also very similar to the earlier English name for toilet which was, "water closet". (English, not American English)

 

Hence "toilet" is the English term for "Hong Nam" and vice versa. 

 

 

The english word "toilet" specifically refers to the porcelain device that one sits on. ! Water closet"  refers specifically to the later developed "flushing toilet" denoting its use of water ( somewhat obviously)

The equivalent Thai word would be "chakro"

"Bathroom"  would be the english equivalent  of "hong nam"  A bathroom might not always be equipped with a toilet,  Same goes for the hong nam

[Bday Prang]

On 10/12/2024 at 12:34 AM, JamesPhuket10 said:

In the late 1980's I was sitting in a very large house in Bangkok, it was owned by the ex-vice-president of Thailand,

What was the name of the president ?

[Bday Prang]

On 10/12/2024 at 3:38 PM, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

Live in full-time servants. 

That would be "Khon rap chai"    not" conchie" no such word in Thai as far as i am aware

Edited October 13 by Bday Prang

[Bday Prang]

On 10/12/2024 at 11:03 AM, BritManToo said:

I thought conchie was person born in Florida or a conscientious objector.

Well it certainly does not refer to a live in servant as one member has incorrectly stated

[Lacessit]

Thailand is my aged care plan. My Thai family will take care of me when I can no longer do so.

 

In Australia, aged care consists of being shoveled into a nursing home to rot, with food a dog would turn its nose up at, attended by overworked and underpaid carers.

 

I know a guy in Chiang Mai who is 93 yo. He is going blind. His Thai GF  ( 60-odd ) helps him with everything, and will be well provided for when he dies.

 

I don't understand expats here who refuse to learn any Thai. Life is so much easier, even with a basic vocabulary.

[Gobbler]

On 10/11/2024 at 11:17 AM, CharlieH said:

The answer often boils down to three things: the weather, affordability, and ease of access to companionship.

I have to disagree. We are here because we don't want to be there. 

 

 

[Bday Prang]

6 minutes ago, Gobbler said:

I have to disagree. We are here because we don't want to be there. 

Some of us might not be welcomed "there"   some cannot afford it either 

[Gobbler]

Just now, Bday Prang said:

Some of us might not be welcomed "there"   some cannot afford it either 

DO NOT conflate or try to shape what I said. No one asked you. 

[Jingthing]

Why is anyone anywhere?

[still kicking]

2 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Thailand is my aged care plan. My Thai family will take care of me when I can no longer do so.

 

In Australia, aged care consists of being shoveled into a nursing home to rot, with food a dog would turn its nose up at, attended by overworked and underpaid carers.

 

I know a guy in Chiang Mai who is 93 yo. He is going blind. His Thai GF  ( 60-odd ) helps him with everything, and will be well provided for when he dies.

 

I don't understand expats here who refuse to learn any Thai. Life is so much easier, even with a basic vocabulary.

Don't agree with you I am 77 now not in age care my Thai wife works in age care I went a few times and have had a meal there and the meal was very nice on par with the meal I cook at home 

[Bday Prang]

11 hours ago, Gobbler said:

DO NOT conflate or try to shape what I said. No one asked you. 

Have you been drinking ?   deary me so early in the day too

I have not conflated or tried to shape anything  that you have said ,  not that you said anything  particularly pertinent to the thread anyway

11 hours ago, Gobbler said:

I have to disagree. We are here because we don't want to be there. 

 

 

 

11 hours ago, Bday Prang said:

Some of us might not be welcomed "there"   some cannot afford it either 

 

Not quite sure what has "triggered you"  if any other members can explain why you are so upset I might be prepared to listen , on the other hand I might not. I certainly won't be listening to anything you have to say.

             Meanwhile ,  DO NOT, tell me what I can or can't write, Nobody requires your permission  Either become a mod or just shut it

[MarkBR]

It is not Glasgow with clouds 10 months of the year, with half that being rain.  I can have a quality of life (not achievable in UK) on a far smaller amount of money.

Health is far better due to warmer temperatures, a greatly reduced number of colds, coughs, sore throat and general aches & pains due to aging.

Edited October 14 by MarkBR
Typo

[fredwiggy]

On 10/12/2024 at 3:29 PM, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

No, I was working in the USA on two occasions, not I only saw two American women. 😄

 

The first stay was in Arlington Texas, they just "loved" my accent I was told on many occasions by the local beauties. Short contract, only four months.

 

I had a bit of a "go" with an ex-Dallas Cowboy cheerleader for a few months.

 

The second time was in New Jersey for one year, I met loads in the Morris Town hotel I stayed at which on weekends was also a nightclub which I visited every week.

 

Being young, slim, English accent worked a treat with the ladies.

 

But I always did a 'runner' before they became too bossy, and a great time was had. 

 

I was born in New Jersey, then moved to Texas after 30 years, then moved here. Men are still the leader of most households back home, as it should be, and if they are good men, the woman is their partner and not a slave. Only in single woman households should they be the head of household. When I moved to Texas, they actually said I was the one with an accent, when they have a southern drawl. My parents were from Brooklyn, and New Yorkers sound different than those outside of New York, as Bostonians do also. But from New Jersey I don't understand why they said I had an accent, although it was surely different from them.

[fredwiggy]

On 10/12/2024 at 3:47 PM, Bday Prang said:

Most foreigners know how to drive well in the comparative safety and controlled over regulated environment  of their home countries.    The majority of them however are like fish out of water as they try to adapt to driving here.   There is a very strong argument, in my opinion, for not allowing short term tourists anywhere near a car or a motorcycle here,  

True that it takes a bit to adapt to driving on the other side of the road, unless you come from certain European countries. I'm sure some accidents come from these mistakes. The US enforces road laws strictly, and people stay alive because of it. Here no one cares who dies, and it shows with the lack of enforcement of laws already on the books. If you put Texas cops on the road here for a year, the deaths would drop from 65b a day to 5, and many people would go broke here with their driving habits.

[Celsius]

On 10/12/2024 at 3:29 PM, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

Being young, slim, English accent worked a treat with the ladies.

 

 

 

 

Until they saw your teeth.

 

And then you moved to Thailand.

[KannikaP]

19 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Men are still the leader of most households back home, as it should be,

Forget households, who will be leader of your Country quite soon?

And your 'as it should be' is rather misogynistic isn't it?

Edited October 14 by KannikaP

[fredwiggy]

9 minutes ago, KannikaP said:

Forget households, who will be leader of your Country quite soon?

And your 'as it should be' is rather misogynistic isn't it?

A woman, what was inevitable eventually. Let's see if she does anything worthwhile. Most presidents just pick up the pieces from the previous ones, and most do something good, along with things stupid and unnecessary. I'm not near a chauvinist or misogynist. God has man as the leader in a family, and it works out well when that man does his job properly, and doesn't look at his wife as secondary or a slave, which is how most here, and in other countries, look at women. I've always , when I was married or in a long relationship, do more than my share of child rearing, cooking, cleaning and yard work.

[TroubleandGrumpy]

18 hours ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

It means the equivalent of the toilet, the literal translation is " water room', which is also very similar to the earlier English name for toilet which was, "water closet". (English, not American English)

Hence "toilet" is the English term for "Hong Nam" and vice versa. 

I have travelled a lot in Thailand - the big blue signs are nearly everywhere - if not follow the blokes.

[Bday Prang]

31 minutes ago, KannikaP said:

Forget households, who will be leader of your Country quite soon?

And your 'as it should be' is rather misogynistic isn't it?

                I don't think it actually is misogynistic to be honest ,  the word means a hatred of women.  

The human race has developed over 1000's of years and throughout that time the roles of men and women have also evolved and developed with pretty clear lines being established regarding the roles each should play in society 

               The roles were not developed or influenced by any particular hatred of women (muslims aside) but each gender naturally  assumed roles that they were best designed for. an example being the males superior upper body strength and inherent aggression made him the natural defender of the family unit. Whilst the woman's maternal instinct and general lack of aggression made her more suitable for raising children and general domestic duties  

               This natural assignment of gender specific roles served us well for millenia

                Now in these "enlightened" times there are some misguided souls  who think that these roles were unfairly decided by men, they were not , it was all decided by nature. Their attempts to change things for reasons of "diversity" or in the name of any other such  man made concepts of "inclusion" or any  other rubbish are doomed to disaster,     

            Oh sure they can try and force it down peoples throats by passing laws and screaming abuse at those who refuse to accept it but at the end of the day if it is contrary to nature it will never be sustainable

              Women in the kitchen, misogynistic?  Nah , merely an acceptance of the natural order of things

              And as if we need another example of how the world is going mad check this out , simply astonishing, yet stomach churning at the same time , the lengths some are prepared to go to deviate from nature is truly amazing

               https://kiisfm.iheart.com/content/2022-10-13-trans-women-are-having-prosthetic-babies-to-mimic-childbirth/

 

https://br.ifunny.co/picture/the-butt-baby-a-prosthetic-baby-that-can-be-inserted-YFnDPVgKA

 

[Bday Prang]

24 minutes ago, TroubleandGrumpy said:

I have travelled a lot in Thailand - the big blue signs are nearly everywhere - if not follow the blokes.

Call me a homophobe , but I would have reservations about following strange blokes into public toilets. But each to their own live and let live 

Personally I found it less daunting to learn Thai

[KannikaP]

2 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

God has man as the leader in a family,

To which God do you refer please?

[fredwiggy]

9 minutes ago, KannikaP said:

To which God do you refer please?

Didn't you ask me this in another post?  I'm referring to the only real God. Not the other false ones made up by man but the one who actually created all we know in the universe. Jesus' dad.

[TroubleandGrumpy]

3 hours ago, Bday Prang said:

Call me a homophobe , but I would have reservations about following strange blokes into public toilets. But each to their own live and let live 

Personally I found it less daunting to learn Thai

When in a mall or a petrol station or any other pubic place it is obvious where the men's toilets are - both by the signs and the people walking there - and I have no fear about going around the back. When in someone's house I ask them or the wife.

 

The Thai language is extremely difficult for anyone to learn who grew up using an European language - the tonal nuances etc etc are extremely difficult to learn and say (like rice and eleven and 's' to them). Sure we can learn some phrases to get by (where toilet etc.) and learn the numbers, but learning to speak Thai so you can talk to Thai strangers - extremely difficult. I was starting to learn when I met an Expat in CM who said 'dont do it too much'. He said that when you understand what they are saying to each other it will be both frustrating and annoying. They talk absolute immature khrapp and they often talk about the falang assuming that you dont understand - he wishes he could turn it off.  Good advice IMO.

[johng]

20 minutes ago, TroubleandGrumpy said:

the tonal nuances etc etc are extremely difficult to learn and say (like rice and eleven and 's' to them).

 

Fuk  Kao    Mistine mar leaw Ka !!!

 

 

[TroubleandGrumpy]

9 minutes ago, johng said:

 

Fuk  Kao    Mistine mar leaw Ka !!!

 

 

I had to replay it a twice before understanding what they said - distracted for some reason.

Yes their speaking was not clear, but their skin was very clear white and nice 😁

 

[Bday Prang]

8 minutes ago, TroubleandGrumpy said:

When in a mall or a petrol station or any other pubic place it is obvious where the men's toilets are - both by the signs and the people walking there - and I have no fear about going around the back. When in someone's house I ask them or the wife.

 

The Thai language is extremely difficult for anyone to learn who grew up using an European language - the tonal nuances etc etc are extremely difficult to learn and say (like rice and eleven and 's' to them). Sure we can learn some phrases to get by (where toilet etc.) and learn the numbers, but learning to speak Thai so you can talk to Thai strangers - extremely difficult. I was starting to learn when I met an Expat in CM who said 'dont do it too much'. He said that when you understand what they are saying to each other it will be both frustrating and annoying. They talk absolute immature khrapp and they often talk about the falang assuming that you dont understand - he wishes he could turn it off.  Good advice IMO.

                Nah , knowledge is power in my book. and denying ones self the ability to understand what is being said puts one at a huge disadvantage.

               Nobody needs to fool themselves that they are perfect fluent speakers on a par with the natives.  that is never going to happen but it is not that difficult to advance a bit further than sawasdee khrap 

              The tones can be confusing for us , probably just as confusing for a Thai when the stuttering foreigner keeps repeating just one word  and his tone changes in line with his frustration. Its not hard to build a vocabulary with the tones learnt parrot fashion, and adding a few more words can help bring a bit of context into what one is trying to say  every little helps 

                 I never take much notice of what Ex pats say , and certainly would not let them influence any decisions I make.    In my opinion that guy gave you very bad advice

                  The Thais do indeed talk a lot of khrapp to each other , its actually amazing that they can talk so much but say so little , but they are not that much different to any other nation.  They may well talk about us, why wouldn't they, but they are a lot less likely to do so if they think we understand what they are saying , a few words in Thai to them quickly stops any of that, 

                  The one overwhelming reason to learn Thai for all expats is to take away a bit of control from the missis,  and its always handy to know what the family is up to.  It also builds ones self confidence and help one function in society  as a man again, as opposed to an overgrown illiterate retarded mummys boy, with a wife who has assumed the role  of carer

                   For me its a no brainer and I struggle to understand those who simply refuse to try, there may be tones but the grammar is much simpler than english no need to memorise all those irregular verb conjugations not to mention all the obscure tenses that exist in english

               

[johng]

2 minutes ago, TroubleandGrumpy said:

I had to replay it a twice before understanding what they said

 

I replay it again and again  still can't tell the difference (30 years of trying) between the tone of the Thai girl and the foreigner....

what is highly amusing and  makes me laugh is the other word that is not rice/white   Mary Whitehouse and "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells"  are turning in their graves   😋