During my many years living in Thailand, we tend to make friends, many not from our country, and they can sometimes be casual, sometimes close, and some as close as family. The interesting part is that you learn about the universal struggles for us here as foreigners and at times the wrestling with what we left behind at home in search of ourselves or our dreams. 

For me, this past week losing a friend who had been here 20+ years married with a child, had a tough time his last few years on this earth.

First diagnosed with kidney cancer and the subsequent removal of the kidney, followed by diagnoses of brain cancer, to which in the end he succumbed.

So, I found myself struggling with my mortality. This year 2024 has been particularly tough, losing my parents, daughter, and now a friend.

The realization that life is bitterly short, and we need to enjoy as much time enjoying ourselves as we can -while we can.

Rest In Peace, Phil 

I KNOW NO ONE'S GOING TO SHOW ME EVERYTHING

WE ALL COME AND GO UNKNOWN

EACH SO DEEP AND SUPERFICIAL

BETWEEN THE FORCEPS AND THE STONE

 

- Joni Mitchell

Condolences to the OP and to the guy's family. 

 

It sucks to lose a good friend, especially living overseas where the good ones don't exactly grow on trees.

 

Been Thailand since 2004 working offshore, for tax reasons spent most of my leave in Thailand, on December 29th, 2014, stepped out of a helicopter for the last time aged 59 and retired.

 

Mortality becomes a thought in the back of your head more and more as more of your age group leave this world, friends and work colleagues in ever rapid succession..

 

Lost my youngest boy in 2016, then work colleagues started dropping off the radar, 2020 my best mate in the UK found dead in his bed, former pupils at my old high school no one left from my years 1967-72.  Girlfriend I met in 2015, never put a foot wrong so married her 7 years ago (20170 so she can get a widows pension from my private pension when I hit the buffers.

Wifes Mum has died, ex father-in-Law (Good man) has passed and now one of her three sisters has terminal cancer, ex sister -in-Law same age sudden death, two uncles passed.

 

Went back UK, March/April for my remaining son's wedding, he took me to a few of my old locals, no one left there, if alive housebound and invalidated.  How am I still alive, wonder myself!!

 

Living here in Thailand out in the sticks as a near teetotaler, never smoked, eat Thai food and my wife drags me to the hospital every 4 weeks for blood tests, have a couple of 'Sports' bikes I ride too fast, have 8 dogs remaining from our initial rescued 11, 4 remaining are GSD's.  Love DIY, love my dogs and my wife and knocking on the door of 70yrs old.

 

I think I have been bloody lucky.  All farangs around me are all gone now, I am the only known farang for miles and miles.

 

 

Fantastic post 

Unfortunately many on here avoid talking or planning for death 

 

Once you hit 80 waking  everyday is a bonus

 

Enjoy life 

 

 

 

 

On 11/12/2024 at 11:55 AM, tmd5855 said:

I think I have been bloody lucky.  All farangs around me are all gone now, I am the only known farang for miles and miles.

 

Good for you. And?

For me, everything goes smoothly so long as I don't waste any time thinking about my age and how "old" I'm supposed to be. What good would that do me? So, for all intents and purposes, I'm 25.  My only problem is that I still feel like I'm supposed to be doing something.  But I don't have to be anywhere and I don't have to do anything.  I guess my "purpose" is trying to have fun. 

 

 

My average life expectancy is 5 years. Maybe sooner, maybe not. I have survived 4 different types of cancer.

 

I do find myself wondering about people I used to know, whether they are still alive, or if they have passed on.

 

My condolences to the OP. I have lost two good friends to brain cancer, IMO it is one of the cruelest forms of cancer to have.

1 hour ago, jas007 said:

For me, everything goes smoothly so long as I don't waste any time thinking about my age and how "old" I'm supposed to be. What good would that do me? So, for all intents and purposes, I'm 25.  My only problem is that I still feel like I'm supposed to be doing something.  But I don't have to be anywhere and I don't have to do anything.  I guess my "purpose" is trying to have fun. 

 

 

That is one reason why I'm not giving up my job and "life" yet to retire and move to Pattaya on a full time basis , you can lose your purpose 

 

 

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

My average life expectancy is 5 years. Maybe sooner, maybe not. I have survived 4 different

At least your a realist 

Thankyou for your service 

13 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

That is one reason why I'm not giving up my job and "life" yet to retire and move to Pattaya on a full time basis , you can lose your purpose 

 

 

My "purpose" has always been to have fun. Play around.  School or work....?  Just inconvenient disruptions to get money.  I'm sure some people think I'me crazy, but that's OK.  What they think doesn't matter. 

5 minutes ago, jas007 said:

My "purpose" has always been to have fun. Play around.  School or work....?  Just inconvenient disruptions to get money.  I'm sure some people think I'me crazy, but that's OK.  What they think doesn't matter. 

Very true post 

Same with me ,as I get old I don't take my life seriously even at work

I often have my music on dancing whilst mopping the floors on the nightshift 

Listening to I wanna dance with somebody....I want dance with somebody..

..mop mop mop the floor wiggling my bum as I'm doing it 

8 minutes ago, jas007 said:

My "purpose" has always been to have fun. Play around.  School or work....?  Just inconvenient disruptions to get money.  I'm sure some people think I'me crazy, but that's OK.  What they think doesn't matter. 

I enjoyed the work I did. I probably could have made more money climbing the management tree, not interested.

 

I created some things that are still in use today 40 years later. I was a positive influence on several co-workers, who flew higher than I wanted to.

 

I am grateful I enjoyed my work. I can't imagine how boring it must be for people who just turn up for a paycheck.

On 11/12/2024 at 11:55 AM, tmd5855 said:

Been Thailand since 2004 working offshore, for tax reasons spent most of my leave in Thailand, on December 29th, 2014, stepped out of a helicopter for the last time aged 59 and retired.

 

Mortality becomes a thought in the back of your head more and more as more of your age group leave this world, friends and work colleagues in ever rapid succession..

 

Lost my youngest boy in 2016, then work colleagues started dropping off the radar, 2020 my best mate in the UK found dead in his bed, former pupils at my old high school no one left from my years 1967-72.  Girlfriend I met in 2015, never put a foot wrong so married her 7 years ago (20170 so she can get a widows pension from my private pension when I hit the buffers.

Wifes Mum has died, ex father-in-Law (Good man) has passed and now one of her three sisters has terminal cancer, ex sister -in-Law same age sudden death, two uncles passed.

 

Went back UK, March/April for my remaining son's wedding, he took me to a few of my old locals, no one left there, if alive housebound and invalidated.  How am I still alive, wonder myself!!

 

Living here in Thailand out in the sticks as a near teetotaler, never smoked, eat Thai food and my wife drags me to the hospital every 4 weeks for blood tests, have a couple of 'Sports' bikes I ride too fast, have 8 dogs remaining from our initial rescued 11, 4 remaining are GSD's.  Love DIY, love my dogs and my wife and knocking on the door of 70yrs old.

 

I think I have been bloody lucky.  All farangs around me are all gone now, I am the only known farang for miles and miles.

 

 

Just enjoy life and you're having a good ride. 

He hanged union jacks in his house.  Was he one of those ones who wanted less people in his country?  Mission achieved.

About 6 or 7 years ago I lost five or six close friends within a 12-month period, that was a very sobering experience. I lost my mom at the age of 70 and I determined from that moment forward that everyday was going to count for something.

 

We just never know how much time we have left on this earth and I'm counting them in months rather than years. When someone asks me how much time do I think I have left I say well it'll be a good run if I have another 240 months. It does lend some perspective as to how short life really is. 

 

A great quite from the TV shows a Billions:

 

30s is too soon. Dying in your 30's is tragic. As is the 40s

Sympathy dissapates from there 50s is such a shame 

60s is too soon 

70s a good run 

80s a life well lived

90s - a fricking hell of a ride

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

About 6 or 7 years ago I lost five or six close friends within a 12-month period, that was a very sobering experience. I lost my mom at the age of 70 and I determined from that moment forward that everyday was going to count for something.

 

We just never know how much time we have left on this earth and I'm counting them in months rather than years. When someone asks me how much time do I think I have left I say well it'll be a good run if I have another 240 months. It does lend some perspective as to how short life really is. 

 

A great quite from the TV shows a Billions:

 

30s is too soon. Dying in your 30's is tragic. As is the 40s

Sympathy dissapates from there 50s is such a shame 

60s is too soon 

70s a good run 

80s a life well lived

90s - a fricking hell of a ride

 

The number of Christmases you probably or statistically have left is also a sobering one, when compared to the number you already had ... 🫣

20 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I enjoyed the work I did. I probably could have made more money climbing the management tree, not interested.

 

I created some things that are still in use today 40 years later. I was a positive influence on several co-workers, who flew higher than I wanted to.

 

I am grateful I enjoyed my work. I can't imagine how boring it must be for people who just turn up for a paycheck.

Don't misunderstand me.  I enjoyed most of the jobs I've had.  Good co-workers, for the most part, and the jobs were easy.  Going to work was fun.  But the work was nothing I ever had a passion for.  Some people are lucky, and actually have that. Art, music, design, architecture.. They start from an early age and are able to be superstars in their field.  

 

I guess I rebelled against "the system" at an early age.  I went through the motions, to be sure, but only as much as necessary.  It all seemed so ridiculous.  Years of schooling during which you're expected to pick a career. You're supposed to fight a niche, get a job, and not buck the system.  That's no fun.  Necessary, sometimes, but not necessarily rewarding. 

2 hours ago, jas007 said:

Don't misunderstand me.  I enjoyed most of the jobs I've had.  Good co-workers, for the most part, and the jobs were easy.  Going to work was fun.  But the work was nothing I ever had a passion for.  Some people are lucky, and actually have that. Art, music, design, architecture.. They start from an early age and are able to be superstars in their field.  

 

I guess I rebelled against "the system" at an early age.  I went through the motions, to be sure, but only as much as necessary.  It all seemed so ridiculous.  Years of schooling during which you're expected to pick a career. You're supposed to fight a niche, get a job, and not buck the system.  That's no fun.  Necessary, sometimes, but not necessarily rewarding. 

I knew from a child what I wanted to be, and I was. I suppose I was motivated by the fact my father worked for 40 years in a job he hated.

 

I do tend to agree with you on education. IMO less than 10% of what is taught actually becomes useful when in the workplace.

 

 

At 35 I had already lost 15 friends, where 3 were very close, and out of maybe 300 like minded people I met in my life, 67 were dead. I learned after the first month of skydiving life was precious, and had to embrace every day, and every moment we shared could be the last.

 

Seeing carnage and misery, but watching my mom getting old dement and sick, is the toughest experience in my life. Even though she is above average life expectancy, it is hard.

Some years ago a friend called Trevor was teaching English in phitsanalok ,and he was found floating in the river ,we never did find out why,aged 74

7 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I knew from a child what I wanted to be, and I was. I suppose I was motivated by the fact my father worked for 40 years in a job he hated.

 

I do tend to agree with you on education. IMO less than 10% of what is taught actually becomes useful when in the workplace.

 

 

You were a train driver who  loved trains ??

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

At 35 I had already lost 15 friends, where 3 were very close, and out of maybe 300 like minded people I met in my life, 67 were dead. I learned after the first month of skydiving life was precious, and had to embrace every day, and every moment we shared could be the last.

 

Seeing carnage and misery, but watching my mom getting old dement and sick, is the toughest experience in my life. Even though she is above average life expectancy, it is hard.

Skydiving did that to you ??

Started 2023 with severe pnuemonia in both lungs and put into a coma and all the plumbing rammed down my throat.

Had to jump start my heart 3 times whilst in that coma.

Drugs used to treat pnumonia cause my large intestion to perforate, emergency operation to do a  bypass resulted in me wearing a bolt on poo bag.

Bypass reversal 3 months later.. no more poo bag .... Yay !

Was then told a tumour kidney was detected whilst in coma...

End of 2023 had tumour and half kidney removed.

 

Happy to see 2024... so far made it through unscathed...... but yeah, writing is on the wall and exit plan is ready.

 

Between mid 2022 to current have had 7 friends go home in a pine box.

 

 

10 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

Skydiving did that to you ??

Skydiving, Base jumping, climbing, freeskiing,  suicides, drugs

3 minutes ago, Ralf001 said:

Started 2023 with severe pnuemonia in both lungs and put into a coma and all the plumbing rammed down my throat.

Had to jump start my heart 3 times whilst in that coma.

Drugs used to treat pnumonia cause my large intestion to perforate, emergency operation to do a  bypass resulted in me wearing a bolt on poo bag.

Bypass reversal 3 months later.. no more poo bag .... Yay !

Was then told a tumour kidney was detected whilst in coma...

End of 2023 had tumour and half kidney removed.

 

Happy to see 2024... so far made it through unscathed...... but yeah, writing is on the wall and exit plan is ready.

 

Between mid 2022 to current have had 7 friends go home in a pine box.

 

 

 

Sorry to read that...   life has given you some kicks...  

 

I hope you are not in any pain... 

 

 

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

At 35 I had already lost 15 friends

I've never had 15 friends in my entire life.

Way less than that.

The good thing about having few friends is you don't need to lose sleep when someone dies. 

 

7 minutes ago, Ralf001 said:

Started 2023 with severe pnuemonia in both lungs

are you a smoker?

met a smoker who nearly died from pneumonia.

if you were, hope you quit.

 

Which sick POS left a laughing emoji ???

 

Mods should find out who it is and them...  Disgusting behavior, even more so knowing the emogi is anonymous... 

 

 

 

8 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

I've never had 15 friends in my entire life.

Way less than that.

The good thing about having few friends is you don't need to lose sleep when someone dies. 

 

You have friends and good friends, and last is not that many, agreed, but sill when doing extreme sports, you get connection easily where you share the same interests and lifestyle.