Marrying a Thai Wife: Overrated or Underrated?

[SoCal1990]

Marrying a Thai woman often sounds like a unique and appealing opportunity, but how can one know in advance what they’re really getting themselves into?

The idea of having a potentially beautiful, caring, and devoted wife who values family and home life is undoubtedly enticing. Add the cultural charm, great food, and warmth that many Thai women are known for, and it’s easy to see why many foreigners might be encouraged to take the plunge.

 

But is the reality as perfect as it seems? Financial expectations, for example, can be a major consideration. In many cases, marrying a Thai woman involves supporting her family to some extent. Is this considered a reasonable cultural norm, or does it often become an overwhelming burden on the husband over time? And how can foreigners navigate this expectation without running into relational challenges and a feeling of being fleeced?

 

Cultural compatibility is another question. The whole Thai cultural aspect that values harmony and “saving face” can sometimes lead to indirect communication. Does this help relationships by reducing unnecessary conflict, or does it cause frustration for someone from the West who is used to a more direct approach? And what about language barriers? How much do they limit deeper connections and understanding between two people when both partners might struggle to fully express themselves because of language?

 

Finally, there’s the lifestyle factor. Some thrive in cross-cultural marriages, embracing the blend of tradition and modernity that a Thai wife can bring. But others might find themselves struggling to bridge the gap between two very different ways of life.

So, is having a Thai wife everything it’s cracked up to be, or does it come with more challenges than would be expecting or find acceptable? For those already married or considering it, what other questions or concerns should weigh the most on one's mind before taking such a plunge?

[KhunLA]

Someone thinks too much.   Fantasy vs Reality ... who comes up with this stuff.

 

Take the word 'Thai' out.  It's a woman, hopefully, if that your preference.  No different than any other woman of the world.  

 

Same everywhere, emphasis on 'potentially' ... as all people aren't ...

... beautiful  (sounds a bit shallow)

... caring, good luck with that

... devoted, divorce rates not different 

... values family and home life  ???

 

More important, do you want to be married and or .... why ?

 

You're marrying the woman, not the family.   Why would you support anyone else ?  Is this something you do in home country ?

 

Cultural compatibly and the rest is just made up BS.  You're 2 people, you get along or you don't.  The rest is just BS excuses people use when things fail.   

 

Like all relationships, either works or doesn't, no need for excuses.  What makes you happy, what makes her happy, and if not like minded, it will fail.

 

Culture, language, other people have nothing to do with it.   The fantasy of marriage is a failed institution, and why so many fail.   

 

2 people finding out everything there is to know about each other and still liking each other .... 

 

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE 

 

My advice ... if never wanting to be divorced, never get married.  That piece of paper is a fantasy, and for many, a curse.

[EVENKEEL]

Why?ff

[thesetat2013]

i think you are using too many generalizations in comparing ethnicities. 

The marriage to a Thai is not what you think it is. Supporting the family? You agree to do that only if the Thai family is so poor they need your money. You are not marrying the woman, you are marrying the family as she is marrying your wallet. When the money runs out she will most likely run out also. The woman will say it is culture. Culture says the child should take care of family. It does not say this means sending your money to them. 

As for the language barrier. If this is already a problem then it is possible to get better or worse depending on the effort you both use to rectify the problem. 

The cultural differences we live with daily at home. Are usually minimal and should not be a problem since you both were aware of them prior to any marriage consent. If it was a problem in the beginning then why did you take that step to get married? 

Making a Thai family of your own, seems to be the same as marrying a woman from any country. Kids are the priority. If you have found a good woman she will not lose keeping you in her list of priorities. Thai traditions are a little better in marriage than in western cultures. Married Thai women will not have men friends to chat or meet without you present or be seen with alone. (this is to say only for a good woman who respects this Thai culture) 

Age differences do not seem to matter. What is important is that you have the ability to support your family and increase the quality of life for your family made together. (not her family)

There are many other nuances I read about with foreigners married to Thais. But these stand out the most for me with my Thai wife. She is loving and caring and helpful for the most part. She contributes to everything we have, want, or need in the home and with our family. Everything done is done together as a family. We have helped on occasions with some financial to her family but the responsibility was always shared with her other family siblings. Her family is not dependent on my money. 

As i see it, she has been the best choice in the 3 times I have been married. 

 

[sqwakvfr]

I think a question a foreign man should ask  a Thai woman that he meets in LOS is this:

 

Have you ever been or lived in another country?

 

If she says yes then it there is a chance the two will be compatible.  In my first few years in CNX all the women I met had never been out of the country.  This was understandable because many can't afford it.   I met one lady who had lived in Singapore for a few years and one who had been to San Franscisco.  These were the only two that I felt compatible with.  For me if I am not compatible with a woman then there is no hope for a relationship.  

[mdr224]

Rated about right. They think like children, but not victims of feminism so less chance of divorce

[Hummin]

You are marrying a women, who is connected to her family with strong bonds, so the only way to figure out how it is going to be, is to know her family and friends, and live together for at least 5 years, or more, before marrying her, and you will know. 

 

Simple as that

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, Hummin said:

You are marrying a women, who is connected to her family with strong bonds, so the only way to figure out how it is going to be, is to know her family and friends, and live together for at least 5 years, or more, before marrying her, and you will know. 

 

Simple as that

I pay my MIL 3,000bht a month NOT to live with us.

If she comes to visit -100bht for every day here.

Result ....... not seen her for 2 years .... well worth the money ..... so much for close family bonds!

 

I don't really interact with her family or friends, they pass through but a wai from them and a wave back from me is about it. I don't let her mix with my pals either.

[quake]

Sex is great and will stay great. ( unlike in the west )

Other stuff like, money, family, well that's a different story.

 

 

 

[Hummin]

6 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I pay my MIL 3,000bht a month NOT to live with us.

If she comes to visit -100bht for every day here.

Result ....... not seen her for 2 years .... well worth the money ..... so much for close family bonds!

 

I don't really interact with her family or friends, they pass through but a wai from them and a wave back from me is about it. I don't let her mix with my pals either.

We are paying her parents 10k to live on our farm when we are not here, and take care of animals. Total cost 20k a month and the farm make in return rougly 180k a year for the moment. Next years estimated to be 300k, which will cover maintanence and most of the expenses running the farm, and of course feeding from the live stock, fruit and vegetabels is not in calculation. 

[ChaiyaTH]

Overrated big time obviously. Be real, if you come across 1/20 that still is together after 15 years it is a miracle.

[ChaiyaTH]

1 hour ago, sqwakvfr said:

I think a question a foreign man should ask  a Thai woman that he meets in LOS is this:

 

Have you ever been or lived in another country?

 

If she says yes then it there is a chance the two will be compatible.  In my first few years in CNX all the women I met had never been out of the country.  This was understandable because many can't afford it.   I met one lady who had lived in Singapore for a few years and one who had been to San Franscisco.  These were the only two that I felt compatible with.  For me if I am not compatible with a woman then there is no hope for a relationship.  

Has zero to do with the girl having lived abroad, has everything to do with to which extent she embraces western culture. The few that do that are always very easy to deal with or to date and be in a relationship with.

 

One doesn't need to go abroad to do this, the world already visits here. They say this usually happens when they were with foreigners from a young age. You can even see this on the islands where locals all speak English and the ones that do well, start living like 50% westerners themselves, even have western friends etc.

 

I'm pretty sure all this has a lot to do with the low average IQ levels around too. Those can't adapt easily. Like the language is just 1 item, it's the same with farming; zero innovation or production increase in decades.

 

There is a general disinterest in anything other than food, sleeping, entertainment on demand.

[ChaiyaTH]

1 hour ago, quake said:

Sex is great and will stay great. ( unlike in the west )

Other stuff like, money, family, well that's a different story.

Sounds to me that it then is better to get the sex on a freelance basis for overall success and happiness as well sustainability.

[quake]

1 minute ago, ChaiyaTH said:

Sounds to me that it then is better to get the sex on a freelance basis for overall success and happiness as well sustainability.

 

 I did, for 15 years, but it was starting to get a bit old. ( how many do you need to do ) ?.

There is value in a relationship, even if sometimes, we wonder why The F we did it. 

[Celsius]

Another thread where I find out more about members who pay a salary to wife and parents.

 

 

[ChaiyaTH]

4 minutes ago, quake said:

I did, for 15 years, but it was starting to get a bit old. ( how many do you need to do ) ?.

There is value in a relationship, even if sometimes, we wonder why The F we did it. 

As I said it is very very rare, I guess that actually quite a few of these people are on a forum like this, as it's a old forum. I think 1/20 is even very optimistic. I met 1 person who still is together (20 years now) but they also knew each other since late 20s. Also it seems they only stay together because they know they both old.

[mdr224]

20 minutes ago, ChaiyaTH said:

Overrated big time obviously. Be real, if you come across 1/20 that still is together after 15 years it is a miracle.

Me and mine are halfway there. Im not tempted to find someone else because they are basically all the same

[sqwakvfr]

22 minutes ago, ChaiyaTH said:

Has zero to do with the girl having lived abroad, has everything to do with to which extent she embraces western culture. The few that do that are always very easy to deal with or to date and be in a relationship with.

 

One doesn't need to go abroad to do this, the world already visits here. They say this usually happens when they were with foreigners from a young age. You can even see this on the islands where locals all speak English and the ones that do well, start living like 50% westerners themselves, even have western friends etc.

 

I'm pretty sure all this has a lot to do with the low average IQ levels around too. Those can't adapt easily. Like the language is just 1 item, it's the same with farming; zero innovation or production increase in decades.

 

There is a general disinterest in anything other than food, sleeping, entertainment on demand.

But one might have a better chance if a Thai girl/woman has actually seen that the world is bigger than her hometown. Trying to convicne a Thai person to see things from my perspective is like insanity. I leave them alone to live in their own space. This achieves peace for both us. 

[mikebell]

Treat them Mean, Keep them Kean. 

Marrying is akin to winning the lottery; to be able to take things easy whilst enjoying the comforts of wealth.  It manifests itself in a variety of ways: laziness; greed; taking advantage of kindness; weight-gain!

I've travelled both routes - having a TGF beats having a wife.

[OneMoreFarang]

If you fall in love with a Thai woman, then spend time with her. And some more time with her. You don't have to marry her.

And try to open your eyes and look at reality and not your dream.

[BritManToo]

8 minutes ago, sqwakvfr said:

But one might have a better chance if a Thai girl/woman has actually seen that the world is bigger than her hometown. Trying to convicne a Thai person to see things from my perspective is like insanity. I leave them alone to live in their own space. This achieves peace for both us. 

Why try to convince your wife/gf of anything?

As long as you get to bang her when you feel like it, nothing else matters.

And if she won't bang you when you feel like it, time to move on.

 

It's not as if there's a shortage of attractive Thai single moms looking for a meal!

[quake]

30 minutes ago, ChaiyaTH said:

Overrated big time obviously. Be real, if you come across 1/20 that still is together after 15 years it is a miracle.

 

 Sounds like your very unhappy with your lot. 

TIT. 

 

[BritManToo]

37 minutes ago, ChaiyaTH said:

Overrated big time obviously. Be real, if you come across 1/20 that still is together after 15 years it is a miracle.

I claim your miracle!

[simon43]

Marrying a Thai wife?

 

I think it depends on whose wife you marry..... 🙂

[SAFETY FIRST]

4 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

Marrying a Thai Wife: Overrated or Underrated?

Nothing to do with ratings.

 

I'd say most of the guys marry in Thailand for convenience. 

 

Less money in the bank required etc. 

 

You'll find lots of guys here on a pension so it's all about the bottom line, affordability. 

 

[Mason45]

Why buy a book when you can join the library.

[sqwakvfr]

12 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Why try to convince your wife/gf of anything?

As long as you get to bang her when you feel like it, nothing else matters.

And if she won't bang you when you feel like it, time to move on.

 

It's not as if there's a shortage of attractive Thai single moms looking for a meal!

I thought this was about girlfriend for a relationship and not for an hour or the evening.  The latter can be had with little fuss and very little conversation. "How long and how much?".  "Ok, let's go".  "Call me again?". "Maybe". 

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, sqwakvfr said:

I thought this was about girlfriend for a relationship and not for an hour or the evening.  The latter can be had with little fuss and very little conversation. "How long and how much?".  "Ok, let's go".  "Call me again?". "Maybe". 

Why treat either option differently?

[sqwakvfr]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Why treat either option differently?

Because you might have to live with Option #1. Of course Option #3 could be viable. Married, live seperately only see each to for intimacy and exchange of money. 

[Yagoda]

Marriage is for breeding. Once breeding is finished and the Spawn leaves the nest, a wife has no purpose and should be discarded in favour of a new model, which should be leased on a hourly basis.