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Overthinking

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Between myself and my male friends it is clear we tend to overthink, or to simplify someone says something and we spend hours and days looking for and usually find hidden meanings even where there isn't any. 

 

I am sitting here wondering is this common for women as well, and how can we either avoid this if possible or how do we compensate so we don't create situations that are unrecoverable. 

 

I think men do it with many more situations and with both genders while women tend to do it only with those they have a bond of some kind with.

 

Thoughts?

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17 minutes ago, Chwooly said:

Thoughts?

 

You think too much!  My experience of farang males in Thailand, especially Pattaya, has been that that they underthink, if they think at all.  When it comes to posts by farang on social media and Internet sites, there's often little meaning of any kinf, much less hidden meaning.

You need to know that your mind doesn't control you, you control it so work towards reducing the amount you analyse things, sounds like you find yourself worrying too much, over things not worth thinking much about, one useful tool is to put it off for a couple weeks, month, etc, that stops the brain focusing on it and you move on, works with everything.

 

Trying to get more interests  and social interaction will help also

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Probably 99% of people, male and female, are controlled by their mind and partake in useless thinking whether they know it or not. Past (depression) and future (anxiety) obligatory overthinking are futile endeavours but we all do it. The mind loves all that, esp when it creates inner turmoil. It is not your friend.
 

The old adage of being in the present is the only way out, and is a big part of Buddhism which is probably why Thais, generally, seem happier, generally. Aside from endless meditation, simply ‘watching’ (not from mind) while not judging when it ruminates/emotional states can have a dramatic impact if you get it right. Also, do whatever you’re doing with full focus — exercise, walking, reading, washing dishes etc, while not thinking about past or future — and allowing ‘what is’ when things are out of your control — traffic jams, flaky people, spilled milk etc. 

That reminds me of when I read an article here that there was a motorcycle accident somewhere. The article has often few details.

And then there are always many comments from people who somehow know he was drunk, driving too fast, had no helmet, and many other details. It's just speculation, but some people just "think" they know the details.

 

My opinion about that and your post above is that we should just accept that we often don't know. Sure, we can speculate a lot, but we still don't know.

I.e. maybe someone tells us he couldn't call us because he lost his phone or the battery was empty. Is it true? Maybe, maybe not, we just don't know.

 

If there are important reasons, i.e. maybe we think someone wants to get our money, then sure, we can and should analyze the situation in more detail. But if someone just didn't great us, forget about it. Maybe next time he will do it. There is no reason waste time worrying about it.

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One possible result of overthinking can be what they call "decision paralysis."  Think too much and you can't decide what to do.  And that, in turn can lead to other mental problems like depression or anxiety.  

While I can't rule out the possibility that women overthink things in some ways, I think it quite likely that they don't overthink things in the same way as men do.  I think women are much more likely to think about social issues, while men are more likely to think about issues related to doing, making, fixing, etc.

 

Men and women are very different.  They perceive the world differently, worry about different things and solve problems differently.

On 11/27/2024 at 1:20 AM, Chwooly said:

Between myself and my male friends it is clear we tend to overthink, or to simplify someone says something and we spend hours and days looking for and usually find hidden meanings even where there isn't any. 

 

I am sitting here wondering is this common for women as well, and how can we either avoid this if possible or how do we compensate so we don't create situations that are unrecoverable. 

 

I think men do it with many more situations and with both genders while women tend to do it only with those they have a bond of some kind with.

 

Thoughts?


You are obviously overthinking all of this. 

On 11/27/2024 at 5:20 AM, Chwooly said:

Between myself and my male friends it is clear we tend to overthink, or to simplify someone says something and we spend hours and days looking for and usually find hidden meanings even where there isn't any. 

 

I am sitting here wondering is this common for women as well, and how can we either avoid this if possible or how do we compensate so we don't create situations that are unrecoverable. 

 

I think men do it with many more situations and with both genders while women tend to do it only with those they have a bond of some kind with.

 

Thoughts?

Fantastic topic 

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A recent study at Cornell University found that 85% of the things people worry about never happen, and of the 15% that do, 79% of individuals found the challenges easier to handle than expected or gained valuable lessons from them.

 

 "We suffer more in imagination than in reality"

- Seneca

^^^ Yes indeed. The mind is a fantastic tool but is a bastard, a F beast,when it’s not doing what it was meant for. Just watch it and do not identify yourself with it. 

On 11/27/2024 at 3:39 PM, jas007 said:

One possible result of overthinking can be what they call "decision paralysis."  Think too much and you can't decide what to do.

That's what's happening to me. Putin's war ruined my clear plans in EU.... and Trump in the US (not so much).

And now the more I think less I feel confident about where to live and so on.

 

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