Male-Female Relationships in Thailand: More Transactional, Less Traditional?

[SoCal1990]

In many Western relationships, I believe that expectations tend to be rooted more in notions of romance, intimacy, and equality than in Asia. And in Thailand, male-female relationships often take on a more transactional nature. Essentially, there is an unspoken agreement I've noticed where, while a Thai woman may expect greater financial support from her partner, she often offers a different kind of flexibility in return.

 

One of the key aspects that stands out to me is the level of freedom a Western man may feel he has in a relationship with a Thai woman versus a Western woman. Thus, Western men in Thailand often find themselves in a situation where their partner is much more accepting of certain behaviors that would be unacceptable or frowned upon in more traditional Western relationships. A Thai wife might tolerate the occasional drunken binge, a happy ending massage, or even the open agreement that the man can partake in a bit of infidelity. Proving that it's not about keeping tabs or setting rigid rules, instead she accepts that he needs his space and doesn’t push for anything too serious or restrictive.

 

This arrangement is, of course, different from what many Western men are used to. Thai women aren’t necessarily seeking to control or micromanage their partners. Instead, they seem to offer a more relaxed and laid-back approach. The idea is that they give their partner the freedom to be more of themselves, with less nagging that often characterizes the relationships back home. This flexibility could be one of the major reasons why so many Western men praise Thai women, especially when it comes to relationships and even marriage.

 

But there is often more to the story than that. Although, Thai women may not expect the same emotional intimacy or exclusivity, they may still demand something else in return. That’s where the transactional side comes into play. They might not expect lavish spending, but there’s often an expectation of consistent financial support, especially when it comes to daily living, providing a nice home to live in, and helping out financially with her family. But most of all, without the expectation that the Thai woman must also work. These things are something that Western men may be more than willing to give to a Thai woman than to a Western woman in exchange for the sense of freedom and ease that comes with being in a relationship with a Thai woman.

 

It’s also worth noting that many Western men in Thailand seem to accept this arrangement because they feel like they’re getting more of what they really want from the relationship, being that their own added freedom and flexibility, rather than the traditional intimacy or emotional connection that Western relationships so often emphasize. 

 

So, when Western men talk about how wonderful Thai women are as wives, they’re really often talking about the things that the Thai women don’t do rather than what they do do. The men value the space, the lack of constant scrutiny, and the freedom to be themselves without the pressure to conform to traditional expectations of marriage and relationships.

 

In the end, it’s a different kind of dynamic, one that prioritizes freedom over intimacy. Thai women offer an understanding of their partner’s needs, but at the same time, there’s an underlying expectation that support will always solidly be there, often in a financial sense. It’s not a perfect system, and it may not work for everyone, but it’s a reality for many Western men who find themselves drawn to relationships in Thailand.
 

So when a Western man praises his own Thai wife, it could be less about having found the perfect soul mate and more about the flexible relational aspects they are benefitting from, which differ a lot to those in the West.

[mdr224]

Sure, why not

[KhunLA]

Every relationship is transactional.  Possibly even one's first love interest.   There's always an end game, goal to reach, and what you'll do (prostitute yourself) to get it.

 

You just have to decide if it's worth it.   Why I quit so many jobs, 30+, as they didn't pay me enough to lower myself to their expectations of a life the low salary would provide.   Sorry, I deserve more.

 

It's also why so many marriages fail now, as it's socially acceptable to be divorced.

 

Lots of sex while dating, but once married, and the 'lifelong contract' is publicly officialized, then both side fall into  ... "well, I don't need to do that as much or anymore, because, I have a contract"

 

Just like jobs, why I'm on #6, long term, live in relationship.  Along with can't eve count how many short term relationships. 

 

My one ex wife told me, "I go through women, faster than she goes through batteries" 

[short-Timer]

So the question to ask yourself is if your Thai wife is really just a long term rental or would she still have chosen you for your great looks and charming wit if all you had was an empty bank account? 

[save the frogs]

1 hour ago, SoCal1990 said:

about having found the perfect soul mate and

soul-mate has been elusive for me. 

wonder if it even exists. 

the women i have been most madly in love with have caused the greatest problems. 

 

[ChaiyaTH]

As far I know the nr 1 divorce reason in the west is as much due to finance issues as it is here so knowing that, the only difference is what each person accepts for their life standards, nuff said.

 

It is not that long ago, just like 2 decades, that in the west most often the male would also earn 70-100% income. That they scammed everyone in the process and then let everyone focus on being equal is the real joke.

 

It's not that different materialistic either, you used to fix your pants until it was really done and now you get a new one if there is just a tiny stain on it.

[MalcolmB]

As long as you a sexually satisfying a Thai woman she will let you play with others if done discreetly.

The main difference between western women and Thais is that the Thais love sex more. 
They love it.

[proton]

29 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

As long as you a sexually satisfying a Thai woman she will let you play with others if done discreetly.

The main difference between western women and Thais is that the Thais love sex more. 
They love it.

 

Not the ones I know 😑

[HappyExpat57]

New member or AI clickbait?

[rimmae2]

Deserving of a PhD! I learnt more (or less?) in a 2 minutes read than 30 years in Thailand.

[Yagoda]

I pay a new one each time, once in a while when I find one without a gag reflex, I give her a second shot

[DarthChuckler]

It may depend a LOT on who, and where, you are looking.  I have found Thai women, like women everywhere want could be treated with respect, plain and simple. If you're an older guy and walk up to a super good looking Thai lady and go Hey, I want to be your boyfriend. I'll give you ฿100000 a month. Sure transaction, she may say you do what you want. Because she's not into you, She's into your money. but if you go up and meet a Thai woman. And you like each other, She likes you, not the money, it's not transactional. She will expect you to treat her the same way she treats you. Are there transactions required? Yes like anywhere in life. You may need to pay for housing you share, buy the food. Pay her expenses. You maycexpect her to cook, clean, take care of you. This is the same around the world. She may have the better job, and you stay home and cook and clean. This is the normal give and take of any relationship.

[newbee2022]

7 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

In many Western relationships, I believe that expectations tend to be rooted more in notions of romance, intimacy, and equality than in Asia. And in Thailand, male-female relationships often take on a more transactional nature. Essentially, there is an unspoken agreement I've noticed where, while a Thai woman may expect greater financial support from her partner, she often offers a different kind of flexibility in return.

 

One of the key aspects that stands out to me is the level of freedom a Western man may feel he has in a relationship with a Thai woman versus a Western woman. Thus, Western men in Thailand often find themselves in a situation where their partner is much more accepting of certain behaviors that would be unacceptable or frowned upon in more traditional Western relationships. A Thai wife might tolerate the occasional drunken binge, a happy ending massage, or even the open agreement that the man can partake in a bit of infidelity. Proving that it's not about keeping tabs or setting rigid rules, instead she accepts that he needs his space and doesn’t push for anything too serious or restrictive.

 

This arrangement is, of course, different from what many Western men are used to. Thai women aren’t necessarily seeking to control or micromanage their partners. Instead, they seem to offer a more relaxed and laid-back approach. The idea is that they give their partner the freedom to be more of themselves, with less nagging that often characterizes the relationships back home. This flexibility could be one of the major reasons why so many Western men praise Thai women, especially when it comes to relationships and even marriage.

 

But there is often more to the story than that. Although, Thai women may not expect the same emotional intimacy or exclusivity, they may still demand something else in return. That’s where the transactional side comes into play. They might not expect lavish spending, but there’s often an expectation of consistent financial support, especially when it comes to daily living, providing a nice home to live in, and helping out financially with her family. But most of all, without the expectation that the Thai woman must also work. These things are something that Western men may be more than willing to give to a Thai woman than to a Western woman in exchange for the sense of freedom and ease that comes with being in a relationship with a Thai woman.

 

It’s also worth noting that many Western men in Thailand seem to accept this arrangement because they feel like they’re getting more of what they really want from the relationship, being that their own added freedom and flexibility, rather than the traditional intimacy or emotional connection that Western relationships so often emphasize. 

 

So, when Western men talk about how wonderful Thai women are as wives, they’re really often talking about the things that the Thai women don’t do rather than what they do do. The men value the space, the lack of constant scrutiny, and the freedom to be themselves without the pressure to conform to traditional expectations of marriage and relationships.

 

In the end, it’s a different kind of dynamic, one that prioritizes freedom over intimacy. Thai women offer an understanding of their partner’s needs, but at the same time, there’s an underlying expectation that support will always solidly be there, often in a financial sense. It’s not a perfect system, and it may not work for everyone, but it’s a reality for many Western men who find themselves drawn to relationships in Thailand.
 

So when a Western man praises his own Thai wife, it could be less about having found the perfect soul mate and more about the flexible relational aspects they are benefitting from, which differ a lot to those in the West.

I really don't know where you copied this script from.

It's full of assumptions, suggestions. Simply tosh.

[Lacessit]

Nearly all relationships start out as transactional. Love at first sight is as rare as hens teeth.

 

They can proceed to something else with time, or end as boredom or demands increase.

 

IMO the OP is naive in positing Thai women are more tolerant of transgressions. "Feeding the ducks" is not a myth, it happens. Let's hope he does not have to learn from experience.

[Jaggg88]

I had a confrontation with my wife of 15 years. I had to point out that we are either in a Western-style relationship or Thai. She always wants to cherry-pick the rules

[edwardflory]

I'm lucky I guess

I give my wife 5,000 personal spending money, she is a housewife, doesn't work outside the house.

 

As to "family" support, on occasion, help out with 500 to 1000bt, usually her daughter with 2 rug rats - insists on pay back ( not required ), or niece in college - a gift.

 

I pay all housing, utilities, food and etc for us.

[connda]

At the end of the day, all Male-Female relationships are transactional.

[KannikaP]

7 hours ago, HappyExpat57 said:

New member or AI clickbait?

You can see from his? profile that he has been a member for a long time, but I think that by reading his recent posts, Mr AI is helping him along.

[KannikaP]

14 minutes ago, edwardflory said:

I'm lucky I guess

I give my wife 5,000 personal spending money, she is a housewife, doesn't work outside the house.

 

As to "family" support, on occasion, help out with 500 to 1000bt, usually her daughter with 2 rug rats - insists on pay back ( not required ), or niece in college - a gift.

 

I pay all housing, utilities, food and etc for us.

You sound exactly like myself.

[ChumpChange]

43 minutes ago, edwardflory said:

I'm lucky I guess

I give my wife 5,000 personal spending money, she is a housewife, doesn't work outside the house.

 

As to "family" support, on occasion, help out with 500 to 1000bt, usually her daughter with 2 rug rats - insists on pay back ( not required ), or niece in college - a gift.

 

I pay all housing, utilities, food and etc for us.

That sounds like a pretty low rental rate for a Thai wife. Well done!

[ChumpChange]

7 hours ago, Yagoda said:

I pay a new one each time, once in a while when I find one without a gag reflex, I give her a second shot

Sounds like a very small matter. Can't understand why any would gag at a micro unit like yours, unless maybe it is because of the BO when you disrobe?

[SiSePuede419]

My wife asked me if I wanted a Mia Noi.

 

That would never happen in America unless you are some freak in San Francisco or some hipster in Buffalo...

 

I said No, one is enough trouble for me. 😄

[Yagoda]

9 minutes ago, ChumpChange said:

Sounds like a very small matter. Can't understand why any would gag at a micro unit like yours, unless maybe it is because of the BO when you disrobe?

Thank you for showing how puerile you are

[ChumpChange]

2 minutes ago, Yagoda said:

Thank you for showing how puerile you are

 

Thank you for the kind flattery, but I’m afraid I could never hope to compete with the sheer brilliance of your unrestrained chronicles about your predatory sexual exploits of young women, whilst living the high life as a fugitive in Cambodia. Truly, a master for the ages.

[Gobbler]

My motto is "No honey, no money."

[Old Curmudgeon]

8 hours ago, HappyExpat57 said:

New member or AI clickbait?

 

Good catch, @HappyExpat57:  It is AI clickbait.

 

The writing style, word choice and manner of expression of the original post does not match the general run of posts from @SoCal1990.

 

The original post brings up some good points, and explains clearly.

So, yes, it is helpful.

But it is AI talking, not real personal experience.

 

If this forum ever appoints a "dog catcher" for "catching" AI posters, I'll nominate HappyExpat57 for the position.

 

And now I'm going to add SoCal1990 to my ignore list.

He seems to have some good ideas in his posts here, but anyone who hides behind AI without admitting it is AI, I simply don't want to read anything he offers.

[Old Curmudgeon]

2 hours ago, Jaggg88 said:

I had a confrontation with my wife of 15 years. I had to point out that we are either in a Western-style relationship or Thai. She always wants to cherry-pick the rules

 

Fascinating comment: "cherry-pick" the rules.

I'm wanting to know more.

 

@Jaggg88 perhaps you'll start a thread with some provocative comments on that topic.

[BangkokReady]

11 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

Essentially, there is an unspoken agreement I've noticed where, while a Thai woman may expect greater financial support from her partner, she often offers a different kind of flexibility in return.

 

Hardly unspoken.  It's pretty much common knowledge.  A man literally has to pay a load of money to marry a woman in Thailand.

[FriscoKid]

8 hours ago, Yagoda said:

I pay a new one each time, once in a while when I find one without a gag reflex, I give her a second shot

Yes, the king of couth, sharing stories with us of him shoving his penis down the throats of prostitutes until they gag. Exactly what I was coming here to read about; a 70 year old man and his sick sexual escapades, now my day is complete!

[FriscoKid]

20 minutes ago, Old Curmudgeon said:

He seems to have some good ideas in his posts here, but anyone who hides behind AI without admitting it is AI, I simply don't want to read anything he offers.