My general rule is if she speaks English, has bad tattoos, smokes or vapes and can beat me at pool,  better just paying her hourly.  Not good gf material. 

3 minutes ago, Taco said:

My general rule is if she speaks English, has bad tattoos, smokes or vapes and can beat me at pool,  better just paying her hourly.  Not good gf material. 

 

That's right.

 

If a woman has a tattoo, the odds of her being 1) a thrillseeker 2) a fun seeker 3) poor in judgement, go up significantly. It will not always be the case, there are exceptions, but 9 times out of ten, a woman with tattoos will be a dopamine addict who will be bored quickly and liable to cheat. Best avoid women with tattoos.

 

Women who smoke or vape, that's just disgusting.

Just now, Cameroni said:

 

That's right.

 

If a woman has a tattoo, the odds of her being 1) a thrillseeker 2) a fun seeker 3) poor in judgement, go up significantly. It will not always be the case, there are exceptions, but 9 times out of ten, a woman with tattoos will be a dopamine addict who will be bored quickly and liable to cheat. Best avoid women with tattoos.

 

Women who smoke or vape, that's just disgusting.

Mine doesnt do any.

6 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

Exactly. This is why vetting takes a long time and cannot be done in one day or one week. For the longest time a woman will play a role, hide her bad sides and her true self. Even her past, her history.  Only in time is all this revealed, but revealed it will be.

 

You should of course never take her out to an expensive meal, this is leading with your wallet and you are training her to expect the wrong thing. Unless you go to fancy restaurants every day of course and that's the real you. But you should show her the real you, what you really do in your normal life. It is not good to lie to woman and counter productive. She will lie to you of course, and you must always keep your eyes open.

You are very dramatic - that and constant distrust is not healthy - for you or a relationship... 

7 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

You are very dramatic - that and constant distrust is not healthy - for you or a relationship... 

 

You think that was drama? That was nothing. How about if I told you that a lack of vetting can be deadly?

 

Look up the anti-fascist Bertrand Cantat, a musician who is the subject of a current Netflix series. He failed to vet his gf. Cantat decided to hitch his wagon to a woman who had four children from four different fathers and was a drug taker. She kept contact with all her ex husbands of course. She berated Cantat and physically attacked him to such a degree that he'd had enough and beat her to death with his bare hands.

 

A lack of vetting can be deadly. Cantat's life was ruined. His gf died.

 

Now, it is true that constant distrust is not healthy. However, justifiable mistrust is, well justifiable and even necessary. Because even more dangerous than constant distrust is this misplaced trust, where you stupidly believe what you are told and the actions of the person show that she lied to your face. 

 

Trust is the absolute key and foundation of any relationship. And if there is reason to doubt her trust, you better believe you need to investigate. Her actions, rather than her words will be your guide here.

 

Trusting when you should not, is far more dangerous than constant mistrust, and can ruin your life. 

All we have to do, as men, is understand what we're up against. If we fall victim to the fake Disney Wonder World fantasy a woman creates, we will get hurt. And it's nobody's fault but ours. Because we let this happen. We took a woman's word, we bought into it. And that is the worst mistake a man can ever make, to buy into what a woman is saying. 

 

How many experiences do you need to go through to understand this? The feminine is dark, manipulative and deceitful. Mutual burning desire does not last forever. The bigger the flame, the shorter the burn. But a relationship takes time. Things will not be good forever, there will be adversity with the women you deal with. Therefore the best course of action is to talk to several women, never put all your eggs in one basket.  No mutual connection lasts forever. Even if it is there at one time, eventually it dies. Like everything else.

 

It's going very well and then it dies off. And it's not because you did something wrong. It just happens. Things are going to happen. If it's meant to be it may re-ignite again. There's no telling what will happen, but there is no such thing as consistency and realiability with a woman (or a man) at all times.

 

So no, you should not constantly be distrustful, but you should not believe in loyalty, you should check inadvertently and keep your eyes well open. Women have options the likes of which most men can only dream of. They are always the ones who break things off and act different, and they were the ones that killed the honeymoon stage. They do not value us, like we value them, for the simple reason that they have an open candy store with lots of candy to choose from at all times. What good does it do us, if  we do everything right and still get wrecked? These women set you up, lead you into dead space. There's always a woman when you think, this time it's different. It never is. 

 

I am not saying women are evil, but you have to know what you're up against. The most loyal women in the world will throw you away if you don't know how to play your cards right. 

The womb is the gateway to the universe. We men are simply pawns. For every 94 women, there is only a need for one man.

 

Prof Pigeon has researched women all round the world, and his findings are alarming.

3 minutes ago, Stiddle Mump said:

The womb is the gateway to the universe. We men are simply pawns

 

No, men are the creators. Women are the destroyers. Almost all relationships end because the woman decided it, almost all marriages end because the woman petitioned for divorce.

 

We, men, create. Women destroy.  

 

Just because they give birth does not give them magical powers.

4 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

No, men are the creators. Women are the destroyers. Almost all relationships end because the woman decided it, almost all marriages end because the woman petitioned for divorce.

 

We, men, create. Women destroy.  

 

Just because they give birth does not give them magical powers.

To start up a new world, we would have 200 people. 192 women. 8 men.

2 hours ago, Cameroni said:

Trust is the absolute key and foundation of any relationship.

Yes, of course you should vet someone but do you have any idea what to look for? Trust me on this one undeniable truth. People change. Things happen. You cannot control as much as you think you can or would maybe like to.. I like my wife and her family - We are together for 24 years. Trust me. Things change. We have many things in common and maybe most important is that we enjoy our freedoms. We don't strangle each other. I want her to have a wonderful life and it is my job to help her achieve that even though we don't always want the same things. The constant for me is that I want her to be well and happy. I am self sufficient. I have not the least problem taking care of myself... That does not mean that we don't help the other one out when there is a reason or need. And there have been times when we have joined together totally involved in helping another family member... There may be things that happen that you don't like, but try not to sweat the small stuff and I have had a good life partner, not an obedient servant as some imagine a spouse. 

7 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

We, men, create. Women destroy.  

This does not sound like a formula for success. If you really believe that, then your search is over - some people are happier going it alone. 

1 minute ago, Stiddle Mump said:

To start up a new world, we would have 200 people. 192 women. 8 men.

 

Apparently one man and one woman would suffice, despite the risk of inbreeding.

 

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20160113-could-just-two-people-repopulate-earth

2 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Apparently one man and one woman would suffice, despite the risk of inbreeding.

 

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20160113-could-just-two-people-repopulate-earth

Prof Pigeon says to start a healthy race we would need 200. As stated.

6 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

Yes, of course you should vet someone but do you have any idea what to look for? Trust me on this one undeniable truth. People change. Things happen. You cannot control as much as you think you can or would maybe like to.. I like my wife and her family - We are together for 24 years. Trust me. Things change. We have many things in common and maybe most important is that we enjoy our freedoms. We don't strangle each other. I want her to have a wonderful life and it is my job to help her achieve that even though we don't always want the same things. The constant for me is that I want her to be well and happy. I am self sufficient. I have not the least problem taking care of myself... That does not mean that we don't help the other one out when there is a reason or need. And there have been times when we have joined together totally involved in helping another family member... There may be things that happen that you don't like, but try not to sweat the small stuff and I have had a good life partner, not an obedient servant as some imagine a spouse. 

 

Of course you know what to look for, honesty, loyalty, trustworthiness, signs of narcissim, BPD, lying, cheating, evidence of an online life or affair (as most women now maintain), signs of interest, there is so much to look for.

 

Yes, people change, quite so. That is even more reason to vet and continue vetting. It's not about control but risk mitigation.

 

Why don't you tell us the full story of your relationship, was there a honeymoon phase? Did you ever contemplate divorce or separation, did she? Did you? What is the real story?

42 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

All we have to do, as men, is understand what we're up against. If we fall victim to the fake Disney Wonder World fantasy a woman creates, we will get hurt. And it's nobody's fault but ours. Because we let this happen. We took a woman's word, we bought into it. And that is the worst mistake a man can ever make, to buy into what a woman is saying. 

 

How many experiences do you need to go through to understand this? The feminine is dark, manipulative and deceitful. Mutual burning desire does not last forever. The bigger the flame, the shorter the burn. But a relationship takes time. Things will not be good forever, there will be adversity with the women you deal with. Therefore the best course of action is to talk to several women, never put all your eggs in one basket.  No mutual connection lasts forever. Even if it is there at one time, eventually it dies. Like everything else.

 

It's going very well and then it dies off. And it's not because you did something wrong. It just happens. Things are going to happen. If it's meant to be it may re-ignite again. There's no telling what will happen, but there is no such thing as consistency and realiability with a woman (or a man) at all times.

 

So no, you should not constantly be distrustful, but you should not believe in loyalty, you should check inadvertently and keep your eyes well open. Women have options the likes of which most men can only dream of. They are always the ones who break things off and act different, and they were the ones that killed the honeymoon stage. They do not value us, like we value them, for the simple reason that they have an open candy store with lots of candy to choose from at all times. What good does it do us, if  we do everything right and still get wrecked? These women set you up, lead you into dead space. There's always a woman when you think, this time it's different. It never is. 

 

I am not saying women are evil, but you have to know what you're up against. The most loyal women in the world will throw you away if you don't know how to play your cards right. 

Me thinks you better say single.

16 minutes ago, bubblegum said:

Me thinks you better say single.

 

I have never been single in my whole life, from 17 to 53. Never.

 

Just because there are women who will lie in your bedroom, in your house, and write to other guys on the phone you gifted them;

 

Just because there are women who will go <deleted> a guy secretly for 10 days and then come back to you pretending nothing happened;

 

Just because a woman can whisper of love, sex and meeting up with another guy while she is with you;

 

Just because a woman can change and no longer give you what she gave you before;

 

Just because a woman can get her brother to come and pack up your belongings and drive them to another country

 

Just because some women do these things, does not mean all women will.

 

But make no mistake, the feminine is the dark, the deceitful, the manipulative. Some women will break up with you just to get you to do what they want. Women are cold. They are witches for a reason. Bad women can come up all the time. 

 

But it doesn't mean there are no good women.

Young men are awake:

 

 

On 4/1/2025 at 6:29 AM, spidermike007 said:

With the exception of the men who are clever enough to hire a private detective to look into her background, and pay some real money to do it right, there is no way to know. They all have stories. And most of the stories are ones that they know we want to hear. So many times I have heard friends say, "Oh no, she is new. She has only been working at the bar two weeks. I was her first customer. She worked in a factory before that. I could tell how innocent she was'. Yeah right!

 

The best advice relates to any women here, bar girl or not. It is simply to take your time getting to know her, before you commit, or devote any real money to her, or her family. Time is ALWAYS our ally, and never theirs. So take you time, get to know who they really are, and how they act under different sorts of circumstances, and how they act when they do not get their way. LOL. Take as much time as you need. If it's good it's only going to get better, and if there are problems, they are going to manifest themselves over time. 

 

You have NO idea what she's made of, you have no idea how good a job her family did raising her, you have no idea what her underlying neurosis or baggage is, until at least 12 months into the relationship. The longer, the better. If she walks, let her walk.

 

No need for a detective just rock up in the village for a week ! It wont take Colombo to work it out!

☻🚀🤔🚀

9 hours ago, cowellandrew said:

No need for a detective just rock up in the village for a week ! It wont take Colombo to work it out!

☻🚀🤔🚀

 

The best way to find out is close at hand : Her phone.

 

Most women today will have secret online lives their boyfriends have no clue about.

 

Women know, if they refuse to show their phone - they're cooked. They will look like they have something to hide for sure.  So the very vast majority of girls who have something to hide will actually have the audacity to show you their phone. They think they are clever and will delete everything they think is incriminating before they give it to you. This is why you make the request as a surprise, so if they then desperately say "I have to delete this game first" or head to the bathroom first, you know they have secrets to hide for sure. Now, when you get the phone, if you notice her conversation with her sister which SHOULD be continuous, suddenly starts in February 2025, then you know she deleted incriminating evidence of cheating. However, often they are too dumb to delete everything, they forgot they sent a video of the guy they cheated with to their sister, and you can find it. Texts with her ex? You can find them on Whatsapp. You need to be careful to check conversations or emails from people you don't know, because of course she often has more than one secret "option", not just the ex. The best you can do is take the phone and go to a room where you can lock the door, then investigate in peace. I had it once when the girl came at me, trying to physically assault me and grab the phone out of my hands because she was so terrified of what I'd find in her phone, turned out she was talking not just to her ex but another guy she had an affair with. Always go to a locked room so you can investigate in peace.

 

Check the photos as well, narcissits are keen to take photos with the guys they cheat with. Videos too.

 

It's sad that you need to do this with someone you love, and did so much for, but if they are avoidants, as most girls in Asia are, and always crave new excitement, the odds they cheat are high. Is she always on her phone? She's almost guaranteed talking to another guy, check her phone.

There is one important aspect of vetting, not to be neglected: The break up.

 

Even is she is the epitomy of your idea of beauty. Even if she looks like Lois Lane in a 1980s DC comic. Even if you still have feelings for her that are sky-high, you must ignore those feelings and opt for logic instead.

 

A woman, who after vetting, was shown to be a cheater and unsuitable for a long term relationship will NEVER become suitable. Even if you give her another chance. 

 

You are wasting your time with her. So listen to your logic, not your feelings, and break up with her.

wow !  7 pages of pure unadulterated b/s

 seems most of advice here is as good as Thai driving habits .. 

 

Where's Bob ?   he should jump in and give it some humor

On 4/3/2025 at 4:38 AM, Cameroni said:

 

Exactly right. And of course their character, their behaviour is the key focus. For instance if you find out about her past relationship history, if she cheated on a guy before, then the odds of her cheating again are increased substantially.

 

Does she agree things with you and not abide by them? You can't trust her word? She has no integrity.

 

Does she hide important things from you? There is a lack of honesty.

 

Honesty, consistency, integrity and loyalty. These are the qualities she must have.

 

And the ability not to speak out of the hole in her arse like some men on here.

20 hours ago, Cameroni said:

There is one important aspect of vetting, not to be neglected: The break up.

 

Even is she is the epitomy of your idea of beauty. Even if she looks like Lois Lane in a 1980s DC comic. Even if you still have feelings for her that are sky-high, you must ignore those feelings and opt for logic instead.

 

A woman, who after vetting, was shown to be a cheater and unsuitable for a long term relationship will NEVER become suitable. Even if you give her another chance. 

 

You are wasting your time with her. So listen to your logic, not your feelings, and break up with her.

 

And don't give up your day job, because you're absolutely rubbish at being a vet.

22 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

The best way to find out is close at hand : Her phone.

 

Most women today will have secret online lives their boyfriends have no clue about.

 

Women know, if they refuse to show their phone - they're cooked. They will look like they have something to hide for sure.  So the very vast majority of girls who have something to hide will actually have the audacity to show you their phone. They think they are clever and will delete everything they think is incriminating before they give it to you. This is why you make the request as a surprise, so if they then desperately say "I have to delete this game first" or head to the bathroom first, you know they have secrets to hide for sure. Now, when you get the phone, if you notice her conversation with her sister which SHOULD be continuous, suddenly starts in February 2025, then you know she deleted incriminating evidence of cheating. However, often they are too dumb to delete everything, they forgot they sent a video of the guy they cheated with to their sister, and you can find it. Texts with her ex? You can find them on Whatsapp. You need to be careful to check conversations or emails from people you don't know, because of course she often has more than one secret "option", not just the ex. The best you can do is take the phone and go to a room where you can lock the door, then investigate in peace. I had it once when the girl came at me, trying to physically assault me and grab the phone out of my hands because she was so terrified of what I'd find in her phone, turned out she was talking not just to her ex but another guy she had an affair with. Always go to a locked room so you can investigate in peace.

 

Check the photos as well, narcissits are keen to take photos with the guys they cheat with. Videos too.

 

It's sad that you need to do this with someone you love, and did so much for, but if they are avoidants, as most girls in Asia are, and always crave new excitement, the odds they cheat are high. Is she always on her phone? She's almost guaranteed talking to another guy, check her phone.

 

These videos that you speak of? The ones on her phone? Is it a bad sign if she's (usually) naked in them?

 

Asking for a friend.

On 4/5/2025 at 7:33 PM, Cameroni said:

 

Of course you know what to look for, honesty, loyalty, trustworthiness, signs of narcissim, BPD, lying, cheating, evidence of an online life or affair (as most women now maintain), signs of interest, there is so much to look for.

 

Yes, people change, quite so. That is even more reason to vet and continue vetting. It's not about control but risk mitigation.

 

Why don't you tell us the full story of your relationship, was there a honeymoon phase? Did you ever contemplate divorce or separation, did she? Did you? What is the real story?

Are you prepared for the type of constant scrutiny and 'vetting' to be put on yourself? Endless suspicion from even just one of you cannot be a comfortable relationship... especially if part of that is fueled by jealousy. That is monstrous pain to carry around. If much of your concern is due to overactive jealousy, you are really better off alone. Most relationships cannot support that weight... 

 

You want the full story of my relationship? On a forum filled with nasty posters? I can tell you this - You probably would not like a relationship like mine... what is logical, practical and for me/us loving, probably wouldn't suit you very well. 

 

 

On 4/5/2025 at 8:54 AM, Cameroni said:

But make no mistake, the feminine is the dark, the deceitful, the manipulative.

What if .... the "Law of Attraction" is at work? 

 

You have a preconceived notion of women being deceitful and you obsess about this 24/7.

And then through the "Law of Attraction", that's exactly the type of women you meet. 

 

19 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

What if .... the "Law of Attraction" is at work? 

 

You have a preconceived notion of women being deceitful and you obsess about this 24/7.

And then through the "Law of Attraction", that's exactly the type of women you meet. 

 

I have preconceived notions that women are mentally ill, and that's the sort I always meet.

Guess it's my fault then?

11 hours ago, BritManToo said:

have preconceived notions that women are mentally ill, and that's the sort I always meet.

Guess it's my fault then?

yes, it's your fault.

 

i have also dated some crazy women. it was so hard on me that i had to stop dating for a long time.

but now i'm not working so much, so i can handle it. it can't affect my career and i got time on my hands.

why is a crazy woman a bad thing? you can view it a challenge, something to work with. 

keep in mind one of the worst thing in a relationship is boredom. 

also, women are not "static". they can be morphed.

just like Uri Geller bending those spoons.

 

34 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

Are you prepared for the type of constant scrutiny and 'vetting' to be put on yourself? Endless suspicion from even just one of you cannot be a comfortable relationship... especially if part of that is fueled by jealousy. That is monstrous pain to carry around. If much of your concern is due to overactive jealousy, you are really better off alone. Most relationships cannot support that weight... 

 

You want the full story of my relationship? On a forum filled with nasty posters? I can tell you this - You probably would not like a relationship like mine... what is logical, practical and for me/us loving, probably wouldn't suit you very well. 

 

 

 

No, absolutely not, because I know what I do, and when I'm with a woman long term, for the most part, I am reliable. It's not about the man.  The man knows how hard it is to get woman. Therefore he will generally do all he can to be good partner. For women, however, it is totally different. As a general rule she will have a supply at will, a giant candystore of guys to choose from, particularly if she is on social media, as 99% are these days. And her secret online life will continue way PAST when she supposedly comitts to you. When you have given up chasing other girls, she will post videos of herself dancing and licking her lips on tik tok, and she will be getting direct messages in her Instagram all the time.

 

So let's not pretend it's the same for the goose as it is for the Gander. It most definitely is not.

 

Yes, you are right that the vetting has to be done in a manner that does not become "too much" for her. If you can do it without her noticing then do that, but if you ask to check her phone once every 2 weeks, that should not be "too much", though it's best not to make it regular. Obviously, if your constant vetting only results in positive outcomes, ie nothing of concern, you can dial back and relax the timeframe more.

 

Sure, tell your story. I can take it, believe me.

33 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

What if .... the "Law of Attraction" is at work? 

 

You have a preconceived notion of women being deceitful and you obsess about this 24/7.

And then through the "Law of Attraction", that's exactly the type of women you meet. 

 

It's definitely not that. I had a relationship for 12 years with a British girl. She did not cheat. We parted ways because I would not marry. Then I had a relationship with a woman for 22 years. She did not cheat.

 

I never obsessed about women being deceitful for 34 years. It was only after I came to Asia and my Filipina of 6 years was a cheater and liar. My long term Thai girlfriend was a cheater and liar. Only after I came to Asia did the deceitful nature of the female find me.

 

Now, I want to be very clear on this, I do NOT believe all Asian girls are cheaters, or all girls. They are not. Clearly. However, the percentage of them who are deceitful, lying, cheaters is staggering. So in Asia, in Thailand, you have to vet. If you don't it's going to end badly for you, most likely.

 

But I hope you see how it can't be "law of attraction" because I came from two long, faithful relationships and BAM! the cheater came. It was just them cheating. That's it.