Why is there this kind of "impossible communication" between farang and thais ?

[spidermike007]

22 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

This is very normal behaviour you find in all countries.

 

Locals are warm and considerate with their own, and cold and incosiderate against those outside their own tribe. Not always, but often.

 

Very normal.

Well that certainly applies in some countries, Thais do tend to be quite polite but I do agree that we are fairly invisible to them, and we will never be considered to be a part of their culture, no matter how long we live here and no matter how good our Thai becomes. It's just part of their tribal culture, that they are very closed to the idea of embracing foreign people as an integral part of their lives. 

 

I have not found that to be the case in Mexico, if I lived in Mexico for 5 years the people around me would consider me one of their own, and the same applies to many other nations. The Thais are uniquely insular. And it really doesn't bother me because I've never really felt a deep need to belong.

 

I feel that with my woman, and I feel that with her family and some of her close friends, but I certainly don't feel that with society at large, which works just fine for me. 

[Cameroni]

11 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

It's just part of their tribal culture, that they are very closed to the idea of embracing foreign people as an integral part of their lives. 

 

That's a fair statement to make. Thais are extraordinariily open to  foreign people, relatively speaking. Obviously they will still idolize and respect their own people and traditions, but by international comparison they  are open to foreigners. But yes, to be truly Thai, I don't think even people who speak perfect Thai or obtained citizenship willl be viewed as such by the Thais.

 

I have also had the experience that in other countries I would feel more part of lthe local populace. You do feel an outsider quite markedly in Thailand, despite their openness and friendliness. It's a paradox.

 

I suspect this has a racial componenent. If you are in a country that is racially not far removed from your own look, it makes it easier, whereas if you are clearly racially not part of a country, then that makes it generally a lot harder. Not  pc, but probably the case.

 

 

[Harrisfan]

5 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

That's a fair statement to make. Thais are extraordinariily open to  foreign people, relatively speaking. Obviously they will still idolize and respect their own people and traditions, but by international comparison they  are open to foreigners. But yes, to be truly Thai, I don't think even people who speak perfect Thai or obtained citizenship willl be viewed as such by the Thais.

 

I have also had the experience that in other countries I would feel more part of lthe local populace. You do feel an outsider quite markedly in Thailand, despite their openness and friendliness. It's a paradox.

 

I suspect this has a racial componenent. If you are in a country that is racially not far removed from your own look, it makes it easier, whereas if you are clearly racially not part of a country, then that makes it generally a lot harder. Not  pc, but probably the case.

 

 

We are farang but small city folk are always more friendly to farangs but its the opposite in the west. Small town westerners are more racist.

[Cameroni]

3 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

We are farang but small city folk are always more friendly to farangs but its the opposite in the west. Small town westerners are more racist.

 

Yes,  a Thai girl told me this a few days ago, said in the provinces foreigners are still minor celebrities and the locals want to talk to them, watch them and touch them, just because they never see a foreigner.

 

The difference in the West is of course they get Arabs, Turks, Africans and East Europeans rammed down their throat, even a small city will have a large number of them these days.

 

 

[Harrisfan]

2 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Yes,  a Thai girl told me this a few days ago, said in the provinces foreigners are still minor celebrities and the locals want to talk to them, watch them and touch them, just because they never see a foreigner.

 

The difference in the West is of course they get Arabs, Turks, Africans and East Europeans rammed down their throat, even a small city will have a large number of them these days.

 

 

In That Phanom 3 young women 20s came up and chatted to me. Wouldnt happen in Bangkok.

[Cameroni]

12 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

In That Phanom 3 young women 20s came up and chatted to me. Wouldnt happen in Bangkok.

 

So this still happens, it was not long ago?

[Harrisfan]

7 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

So this still happens, it was not long ago?

2 months ago.

[Cameroni]

2 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

2 months ago.

 

Nice, good to see foreigners are still appreciated in some parts, as long as you stay away from Pattayasburg and Phuketski.

[Purdey]

I suspect that if someone feels shy of their English ability they will avoid contact. Speak a few polite Thai sentences and they will smile and help.

[Garouda]

On 4/28/2025 at 9:56 AM, Aurelien said:

Don't get me wrong, Thais are lovely when they hold business transactions in stores, in the streets, in taxis... the cleaner lady says hello to me everytime i see her in the hallway.. but if you're not in their 'perimeter' anymore, you're like air to them. 
I'm at the supermarket, i want to buy broccolis. In front of me are a couple of Thais, and the vegetable lady spontaneously holds them plastic bags so they can wrap the broccolis inside them. Come my turn, I'm being ignored... I had to come to the vegetable lady, and point to the plastic bag. "Saitong, nung krap". I had to repeat several times until she finally decided to give one to me. 
I enter the pharmacy at the same time as Thais. Thais are directly being greated and served. "Hello, how can i help you?" I very distinctely put myself against a counter, clearly indicating that i need something, but no employee would come to me. Everybody see me, but nobody comes. I had to wait until the Thais were done, that finally and employeed comes to serve me. Speaking in good English too. In fact, I know all their staff speak good English, as I go there often.
Down my condo is a mini mart i go to every few days to buy cigarettes. The employee, a young Thai man, seems very happy to see me everytime, big smiles, kindness, chit chat etc... I'm walking down the street, see him walking as well, and thought "oh, our paths are going to cross, we'll probably greet each other". Once we cross, I look at him, just waiving my hand slighlty to say hello, and he doesn't even look at me like...so weird. There's no way he didn't see me, or even if he's shy he could just waive his head and that's it...
I know this is trivial and it probably doesn't apply in the most tourist based areas of the cities, but once a little outside of the usual hustle and bustle, and the behavior of Thais change drastically I found...

In a shop, when the Thais seem not to care about you, it's often simply because they cannot speak 'farang' (English). You are a guest in this country, make an effort to know their culture and values. Saitong nueng? What does that mean, may be 'sai toong dai mai krab'? ใส่ถุงได้ไหมครับ I've been living here, for more than twenty years now and earlier even when I came as a tourist, I started to learn some Thai. I arrived in 2003 and worked for a university until I retired in 2017. Now, the Thais regularly congratulate me for my pronunciation.  Sometimes I also notice that Thais are reluctant to communicate with me, but once they hear I can speak Thai, they smile and are very friendly.

What you describe is not that they look down at you or reject you, they just don’t know how to communicate, and may be there’s something in your dressing or behaviour that chocks them, who knows?

[digger70]

Why is there this kind of "impossible communication" between farang and thais ?

 

Yes it does happen, I had the same in the hospital a couple days ago, Thais first Farangs later, I called out , Sorry she said . For me I don't care  a couple minutes either way.🙏

[Furioso]

Yes I can see this communication issue is worse in Pattaya, Jomtien, & Bangkok since they're flooded with millions of tourists. When I go to stores around Jomtien I often see nonverbal communication from the Thais. Some frustration, slight anger, irritated, and certainly talk amongst them.

 

For some reason when I'm in Pattaya I don't really see this nearly as much, maybe it's a suburb thing.

[quake]

This is all very  exciting.

 

[Thingamabob]

Very rare in Thailand. Is there something about you that Thais don't want to be seen to be associating with ?

[ChrisKC]

This is YOUR personal experience and doesn't in any way reflect on Thai people generally!!

 

In more than 20 years living here in various parts of Thailand I have no such experiences and for a lot of that time I have been in communities with few farangs.

 

I can't imagine how a few of the people on this forum seem to attract the worst in others!

 

Well, I can, actually!!

[Furioso]

Well my post was referring to the heavily populated sexxy tourist areas not the country in general.

[parallelman]

On 4/28/2025 at 1:51 PM, MalcolmB said:

You said to her “Stick one in your guts. “

If the vowel was spoken short could even be 'Put it in one flag' ธง 🙂

[Rimmer]

A post with a quote altered in the Thai Language has been removed

 

28. You will not make changes to messages quoted from other members posts, except for purposes of shortening the quoted post. Do not shorten any post in a way that alters the context of the original post. Do not change the formatting of the post you are quoting

[happydreamer]

On 4/28/2025 at 9:56 AM, Aurelien said:

 Come my turn, I'm being ignored... I had to come to the vegetable lady, and point to the plastic bag. "Saitong, nung krap". I had to repeat several times until she finally decided to give one to me. 
 

 

She probably has no clue what you're saying.  If you indeed pronounced it the way you spelled it you were asking for either gold or something about your stomach.  And nung ?  What does that mean?  Nong?  As in younger person?

 

Sai toong na kap, probably will work.  Give it a whip next time 

[Harrisfan]

43 minutes ago, happydreamer said:

 

She probably has no clue what you're saying.  If you indeed pronounced it the way you spelled it you were asking for either gold or something about your stomach.  And nung ?  What does that mean?  Nong?  As in younger person?

 

Sai toong na kap, probably will work.  Give it a whip next time 

Neung is 1

[Harrisfan]

4 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

Nice, good to see foreigners are still appreciated in some parts, as long as you stay away from Pattayasburg and Phuketski.

Yes super friendly in Isaan. Of course its a bit more boring but people are good.

[3NUMBAS]

My farang

neigbors wives are always willing to present themselves at my front door to give me some surprise titty rub on the spur of the moment, so no complaints

[BangkokReady]

18 hours ago, NorthernRyland said:

You're taking this too far. I bought some roofing tiles today and the people were exceptionally kind to me. The owner of the shop even asked for number and invited me for coffee. I think in some areas the people are so fed with tourists they turn bitter, and who can blame them with all the nonsense they have to put up with.

 

1, How does that make my generalisation false?  2, How do you know that they weren't being nice to you also because of your race, but this time positive discrimination, rather than negative?

[Furioso]

Yes they could very well be fed up with tourists and if so we should not blame them.

 

One falang visitor to Bangkok said to me he loved Bangkok but can never live there because almost all the falangs there were pretty unstable. ymmv.

[fittobethaied]

I find it laughable that so many posters will give the Thais a pass for their rude and selfish behavior and call it a cultural norm. It is nowhere near normal for human beings to be so uncaring and indifferent to their fellow man. God has given to every man a conscience that is designed by HIM to condemn or approve one's behavior. HE has placed in every human heart a universal standard of moral behavior that works in synchronicity with the conscience. Unfortunately, most of the Thais that I have met are walking in spiritual darkness and simply refuse to come to the light. Their hearts have been hardened by sin, and what we witness in this culture is a manifestation of the consequences of a refusal to acknowledge GOD as their supreme Father in Heaven. If they were responding to HIs light, God would be evangelizing this entire country to introduce them to Jesus Christ; but instead, there is very little evidence that the Holy Spirit is at work here. And yes, God will remove His hand from a nation that willfully chooses to walk in darkness. 

 

Romans 1:20 says...For ever since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature have been clearly seen, being understood through His workmanship [all His creation, the wonderful things that He has made], so that they [who fail to believe and trust in Him] are without excuse and without any defense or justification.

.  

[Liverpool Lou]

On 4/28/2025 at 9:56 AM, Aurelien said:

I enter the pharmacy at the same time as Thais. Thais are directly being greated and served. "Hello, how can i help you?" I very distinctely put myself against a counter, clearly indicating that i need something, but no employee would come to me. Everybody see me, but nobody comes. I had to wait until the Thais were done, that finally and employeed comes to serve me.

"I enter the pharmacy at the same time as Thais ... I had to wait until the Thais were done..."

If you entered at the same time as the Thai customers why should you be served first or why should they not be served ahead of you?

[Liverpool Lou]

On 4/28/2025 at 9:56 AM, Aurelien said:

I know this is trivial

Indeed.

[ChrisKC]

18 minutes ago, fittobethaied said:

I find it laughable that so many posters will give the Thais a pass for their rude and selfish behavior and call it a cultural norm. It is nowhere near normal for human beings to be so uncaring and indifferent to their fellow man. God has given to every man a conscience that is designed by HIM to condemn or approve one's behavior. HE has placed in every human heart a universal standard of moral behavior that works in synchronicity with the conscience. Unfortunately, most of the Thais that I have met are walking in spiritual darkness and simply refuse to come to the light. Their hearts have been hardened by sin, and what we witness in this culture is a manifestation of the consequences of a refusal to acknowledge GOD as their supreme Father in Heaven. If they were responding to HIs light, God would be evangelizing this entire country to introduce them to Jesus Christ; but instead, there is very little evidence that the Holy Spirit is at work here. And yes, God will remove His hand from a nation that willfully chooses to walk in darkness. 

 

Romans 1:20 says...For ever since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature have been clearly seen, being understood through His workmanship [all His creation, the wonderful things that He has made], so that they [who fail to believe and trust in Him] are without excuse and without any defense or justification.

.  

This thread doesn't need gods for two reasons:

 

They do not exist

 

And Buddhists by definition are Atheists

[richard_smith237]

6 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

On 4/28/2025 at 9:56 AM, Aurelien said:

I enter the pharmacy at the same time as Thais. Thais are directly being greated and served. "Hello, how can i help you?" I very distinctely put myself against a counter, clearly indicating that i need something, but no employee would come to me. Everybody see me, but nobody comes. I had to wait until the Thais were done, that finally and employeed comes to serve me.

"I enter the pharmacy at the same time as Thais ... I had to wait until the Thais were done..."

If you entered at the same time as the Thai customers why should you be served first or why should they not be served ahead of you?

 

Indeed - did he simply stand there silently, expectant and expressionless? It’s hard to imagine what kind of response he was hoping for.

 

In contrast, my own experience - just yesterday, in fact - was quite different, especially with this thread fresh in mind.

I walked into a pharmacy, greeted the staff in Thai, and asked about a particular item (in Thai). Not only did the person I spoke to assist, but another staff member and the pharmacist stopped what they were doing to help as well.

 

Later, at Tops with a basket full of groceries, I joined the queue. A staff member noticed, smiled warmly, waved me over, and promptly opened a third checkout.

 

All very ordinary, everyday interactions. Perhaps the OP just isn't one of those ‘hansum men’ !!!....  But in all seriousness, the vast majority of my experiences here fall somewhere between polite neutrality and genuine kindness.