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What psychosocial factors lead to bickering, etc. in online forums among older men?


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Posted
1 hour ago, cdemundo said:

Well no matter why AN has it in spades.

 

I expect the sun will rise tomorrow.

Some will think I am a Fascist and others a Leftist for saying that.

Lefty fascist

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Posted
1 hour ago, Lee65 said:

Online forums often become breeding grounds for argumentativeness and hostility, particularly among older men, due to a confluence of psychosocial factors tied to identity, social dynamics, and aging-related challenges. Below is an analysis of key contributors:

Social Isolation and Loss of Purpose

Older men face heightened risks of social disconnectedness due to retirement, widowhood, or declining health, which can erode their sense of autonomy and self-worth36. This isolation may drive them to seek validation through online engagement, where disagreements become a misguided substitute for meaningful connection6. For example:

  • Retirement or loss of work identity removes a traditional source of masculine pride, leading some to assert dominance in online debates4.

  • Physical limitations or chronic pain can amplify frustration, which is redirected into aggressive online behavior3.

Masculinity and Identity Threats

Dominant cultural narratives tie masculinity to control, productivity, and stoicism. Aging often undermines these traits, creating psychological tension:

  • Loss of control: Older men may perceive online arguments as a way to reclaim agency, particularly when faced with age-related declines in physical or cognitive abilities46.

  • Defensive posturing: Correcting others or "winning" debates reinforces a fragile self-image tied to competence, as described in accounts of men who equate disagreement with personal failure14.

  • Internalized stigma: Reluctance to discuss mental health or vulnerability offline may manifest as hostility online, where anonymity allows unfiltered expression36.

Forum Design and Anonymity

Platform dynamics exacerbate conflicts:

  • Public visibility: Posts are seen by broad audiences, inviting scrutiny and turning debates into performative acts of self-validation57.

  • Lack of moderation: Poorly regulated forums enable "flame wars," where users prioritize dominance over constructive dialogue27.

  • Asynchronous communication: The absence of real-time feedback (e.g., tone, body language) fosters misinterpretation and escalation57.

Coping Mechanisms and Escalation

For some older men, online arguments serve as maladaptive coping strategies:

  • Avoiding shame: Withdrawing from real-world interactions to evade ageism or stigma, while seeking control in anonymous spaces46.

  • Cognitive rigidity: Aging may correlate with less flexibility in accepting alternative viewpoints, intensifying confrontations26.

  • Mortality awareness: Confronting life-limiting diagnoses or bereavement can heighten existential frustration, channeled into online conflicts34.

In summary, the interplay of aging-related identity crises, social isolation, and platform design creates a fertile environment for contentious online behavior. Addressing this issue requires interventions that foster offline social connectedness, redefine masculine identity beyond productivity, and improve forum moderation to reduce toxic interactions367.

Citations:

  1. https://www.reddit.com/r/nosurf/comments/11rcvyc/i_am_one_week_clean_from_arguing_with_people/
  2. https://aneclecticmind.com/2008/04/11/why-forums-suck/
  3. https://www.mhfa.com.au/supporting-older-men-with-mental-health-conversations/
  4. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5017240/
  5. https://www.wired.com/story/how-to-stop-arguing-online/
  6. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11050630/
  7. https://www.cityclub.org/blog/2021/07/12/its-not-just-bad-behavior--why-social-media-design-makes-it-hard-to-have-constructive-disagreements-online
  8. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/00812463231186335
  9. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0747563217304764
  10. https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/1bh46g4/why_does_everyone_argue_so_much_on_the_internet/
  11. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-do-internet-forums-get-so-hostile_b_59bc3f49e4b0390a1564dd76
  12. https://arxiv.org/html/2405.15930v1
  13. https://www.e-therapy.uk/articles/nasty-words
  14. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0261927X211066889
  15. https://forums.digitalspy.com/discussion/1981990/why-are-people-so-rude-nasty-on-the-internet
  16. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0167865520300477
  17. https://community.oneplus.com/thread/29966
  18. https://www.academia.edu/3626334/Collective_argumentative_criticism_in_informal_online_discussion_forums
  19. https://hardforum.com/threads/general-nastiness-in-online-gaming-forums-in-general.1342975/post-1032991748
  20. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1041610225002285
  21. https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/international-psychogeriatrics/article/relationship-between-social-media-use-and-psychosocial-outcomes-in-older-adults-a-systematic-review/489FE4D4C9D8E0A482D58B5EA0F48BFA
  22. https://www.jstage.jst.go.jp/article/jjrm/70/4/70_344/_article/
  23. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6366441/
  24. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10608265241256258
  25. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVbfOziAQaY
  26. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/gps.5901
  27. https://www.drummerworld.com/forums/index.php?threads%2Fold-man-advice-to-young-men.186788%2Fpage-2
  28. https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2013-12-19-older-men-most-likely-link-video-games-aggression
  29. https://www.gransnet.com/forums/relationships/1340575-My-elderly-husband-is-getting-angry-argumentative
  30. https://www.loveshack.org/forums/topic/591985-what-do-younger-girls-see-in-older-guys/page/10/
  31. https://www.buzzfeed.com/victoriavouloumanos/teenagers-who-dated-predatory-older-men-2
  32. https://www.gransnet.com/forums/relationships/1260291-Anyone-elses-husband-turned-into-a-Grumpy-old-man
  33. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5559647/
  34. https://repub.eur.nl/pub/41101/Metis_190669.pdf
  35. https://aclanthology.org/P16-2032.pdf
  36. https://www.reddit.com/r/MMORPG/comments/pizmk3/why_do_official_mmo_forums_tend_to_be_so_toxic/
  37. https://psychcentral.com/relationships/older-men-dating-younger-women
  38. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/j0bs5w/those_of_you_who_dated_older_men_how_did_it_turn/
  39. https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/1beahew/why_do_older_men_only_approach_me/
  40. https://www.drummerworld.com/forums/index.php?threads%2Fold-man-advice-to-young-men.186788%2F

Answer from Perplexity: pplx.ai/share

 

BTW..did you happen to look at some of the citations? 

Posted

I notice others like that but I am above it all and just ignore the idiots.

Some people love to argue and would argue in an empty room.

I just come on this forum to learn and share knowledge 

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Posted

Brilliant post.

 

Could be added to the similar topic

"Why do so many people hold and share strong/extreme political views, create long-winded posts and engage in arguments, when it has zero tangible influence on themselves, or the world"

 

Go for a run, shag the wife, read a book, walk the dog, watch a documentary, get drunk, listen to music.

All much more personally impactful and better for you than ranting on t'internet over things you cannot possibly influence. 

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Posted
13 minutes ago, Gottfrid said:

A big factor that contributes is when somebody is starting a topic based on Perplexity AI.

It's call AI hallucination.

Posted

It's a combination of the much older phenomenon of grumpy old men, emboldened by the anonymity of internet forums. Mostly benign, and generally a lot less harmful than the social media cesspools that suck in younger generations. 

Posted

You are putting on overly negative spin on things. 

 

For one thing, they can be labeled debates, not necessarily bickering, which has a more derogatory slant on it. 

 

And the debates are about rather complex issues. It's not like people are bickering constantly over nonsense, apart from ocassionally.

 

When it comes to politics, it's complex. So it's normal that arguments will occur.

 

 

 

Posted

Check out sites like Reddit, which are inhabited mainly by the younger generations, and check out the state of discourse.  

Posted

Cognitive rigidity seems to be a big one here. Those that seem to be able to dance on their feet and maintain an open mind seem to have a much better chance of getting along with others. I'm often discussing politics as many of you have noticed but it really ever becomes personal for me. On the other hand I'm very frequently attacked for not paying sufficient fealty to the current circus clown. 

Posted
12 hours ago, Lee65 said:

Online forums often become breeding grounds for argumentativeness and hostility, particularly among older men

 

due to a confluence of psychosocial factors

YEP

 

I make comment to the article or OP.

I don't interact with ANYONE unless I've received a hostile reply to my comments. 

 

Too many here just looking for an argument, conflict excites them. 

 

I'm not sure about psychosocial, but definitely psycho comes to mind. 

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