What psychosocial factors lead to bickering, etc. in online forums among older men?

[Tug]

13 hours ago, Photoguy21 said:

Low mentality. These people are too lazy to do anything constructive e.g. learning and having a hobby.

Agreed + many not all isolated loneliness poverty depression boredom as you stated no hobbies…..when I’m here I’m bored that’s why I split my time between here and the states.

[Ben Zioner]

On 4/29/2025 at 6:55 AM, Tarteso said:

Before, fighting was hand-to-hand, now it's behind the keyboard.

But that's much more civilised isn't? Only primates get involved in punch ups. 

[dinsdale]

Simple. Some on here will never admit they're wrong no matter what evidence is given. They'd argue black and blue that white is actually black and black is actually white.

[Tarteso]

1 hour ago, Ben Zioner said:

But that's much more civilised isn't? Only primates get involved in punch ups. 

Not only primates,  I am surprised by the irrational primate attitudes of many humans..I don't talk about punch..Many people today have not learned to listen. I meant spar with words hand to hand, Fighting using logic, conversation, discussion and intelligence. I'm 66 years old with many mistakes and errors in my life, possibly more than those in this forum and I've never used my fists, but I've always used my head to defend my ideas and my rights in life, at work and in the family.

[GammaGlobulin]

For one thing:

 

The THUMBS DOWN emoji, newly introduced, cannot be helpful.

 

This kind of emoji just leads to divisiveness, and not cohesiveness, in the group....AKA....TV.

 

So, it would be good to get rid of the Thumbs-Down emoji....ASAP.

 

This kind of emoji is totally misbegotten, and has no positive effect for the forum.

 

But, I guess everyone already knew this, and.....

 

I guess, whoever suggested introducing the Thumbs-Down emoji .....that person....

Probably does not wish TV well....

 

Just my guess.

 

And I know that I am right....

As usual....

OBVIOUSLY.

 

 

Note: Many new innovations on TV have been positive.  However, the Thumbs-Down emoji is a disaster in the making.

 

And, there are some who love disasters......of course.

 

[Aussie999]

17 hours ago, newbee2022 said:

Try it if you can...😂

No need to, I was taught to use my own brain, and still do...unlike you young brain dead muppets

[newbee2022]

10 minutes ago, Aussie999 said:

unlike you young brain dead muppets

What does it mean? 🤔 

[safarimike11]

On 4/28/2025 at 5:19 PM, Lee65 said:

Online forums often become breeding grounds for argumentativeness and hostility, particularly among older men, due to a confluence of psychosocial factors tied to identity, social dynamics, and aging-related challenges. Below is an analysis of key contributors:

Social Isolation and Loss of Purpose

Older men face heightened risks of social disconnectedness due to retirement, widowhood, or declining health, which can erode their sense of autonomy and self-worth36. This isolation may drive them to seek validation through online engagement, where disagreements become a misguided substitute for meaningful connection6. For example:

• Retirement or loss of work identity removes a traditional source of masculine pride, leading some to assert dominance in online debates4.

• Physical limitations or chronic pain can amplify frustration, which is redirected into aggressive online behavior3.

Masculinity and Identity Threats

Dominant cultural narratives tie masculinity to control, productivity, and stoicism. Aging often undermines these traits, creating psychological tension:

• Loss of control: Older men may perceive online arguments as a way to reclaim agency, particularly when faced with age-related declines in physical or cognitive abilities46.

• Defensive posturing: Correcting others or "winning" debates reinforces a fragile self-image tied to competence, as described in accounts of men who equate disagreement with personal failure14.

• Internalized stigma: Reluctance to discuss mental health or vulnerability offline may manifest as hostility online, where anonymity allows unfiltered expression36.

Forum Design and Anonymity

Platform dynamics exacerbate conflicts:

• Public visibility: Posts are seen by broad audiences, inviting scrutiny and turning debates into performative acts of self-validation57.

• Lack of moderation: Poorly regulated forums enable "flame wars," where users prioritize dominance over constructive dialogue27.

• Asynchronous communication: The absence of real-time feedback (e.g., tone, body language) fosters misinterpretation and escalation57.

Coping Mechanisms and Escalation

For some older men, online arguments serve as maladaptive coping strategies:

• Avoiding shame: Withdrawing from real-world interactions to evade ageism or stigma, while seeking control in anonymous spaces46.

• Cognitive rigidity: Aging may correlate with less flexibility in accepting alternative viewpoints, intensifying confrontations26.

• Mortality awareness: Confronting life-limiting diagnoses or bereavement can heighten existential frustration, channeled into online conflicts34.

In summary, the interplay of aging-related identity crises, social isolation, and platform design creates a fertile environment for contentious online behavior. Addressing this issue requires interventions that foster offline social connectedness, redefine masculine identity beyond productivity, and improve forum moderation to reduce toxic interactions367.

Citations:

1. https://www.reddit.com/r/nosurf/comments/11rcvyc/i_am_one_week_clean_from_arguing_with_people/
2. https://aneclecticmind.com/2008/04/11/why-forums-suck/
3. https://www.mhfa.com.au/supporting-older-men-with-mental-health-conversations/
4. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5017240/
5. https://www.wired.com/story/how-to-stop-arguing-online/
6. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11050630/
7. https://www.cityclub.org/blog/2021/07/12/its-not-just-bad-behavior--why-social-media-design-makes-it-hard-to-have-constructive-disagreements-online
8. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/00812463231186335
9. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0747563217304764
10. https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/1bh46g4/why_does_everyone_argue_so_much_on_the_internet/
11. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-do-internet-forums-get-so-hostile_b_59bc3f49e4b0390a1564dd76
12. https://arxiv.org/html/2405.15930v1
13. https://www.e-therapy.uk/articles/nasty-words
14. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0261927X211066889
15. https://forums.digitalspy.com/discussion/1981990/why-are-people-so-rude-nasty-on-the-internet
16. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0167865520300477
17. https://community.oneplus.com/thread/29966
18. https://www.academia.edu/3626334/Collective_argumentative_criticism_in_informal_online_discussion_forums
19. https://hardforum.com/threads/general-nastiness-in-online-gaming-forums-in-general.1342975/post-1032991748
20. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1041610225002285
21. https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/international-psychogeriatrics/article/relationship-between-social-media-use-and-psychosocial-outcomes-in-older-adults-a-systematic-review/489FE4D4C9D8E0A482D58B5EA0F48BFA
22. https://www.jstage.jst.go.jp/article/jjrm/70/4/70_344/_article/
23. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6366441/
24. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10608265241256258
25. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVbfOziAQaY
26. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/gps.5901
27. https://www.drummerworld.com/forums/index.php?threads%2Fold-man-advice-to-young-men.186788%2Fpage-2
28. https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2013-12-19-older-men-most-likely-link-video-games-aggression
29. https://www.gransnet.com/forums/relationships/1340575-My-elderly-husband-is-getting-angry-argumentative
30. https://www.loveshack.org/forums/topic/591985-what-do-younger-girls-see-in-older-guys/page/10/
31. https://www.buzzfeed.com/victoriavouloumanos/teenagers-who-dated-predatory-older-men-2
32. https://www.gransnet.com/forums/relationships/1260291-Anyone-elses-husband-turned-into-a-Grumpy-old-man
33. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5559647/
34. https://repub.eur.nl/pub/41101/Metis_190669.pdf
35. https://aclanthology.org/P16-2032.pdf
36. https://www.reddit.com/r/MMORPG/comments/pizmk3/why_do_official_mmo_forums_tend_to_be_so_toxic/
37. https://psychcentral.com/relationships/older-men-dating-younger-women
38. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/j0bs5w/those_of_you_who_dated_older_men_how_did_it_turn/
39. https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/1beahew/why_do_older_men_only_approach_me/
40. https://www.drummerworld.com/forums/index.php?threads%2Fold-man-advice-to-young-men.186788%2F

---

Answer from Perplexity: pplx.ai/share

Did you include PDD (penile dysmorphic disorder)?

[StreetCowboy]

Back in the day, if Western Films are to be believed, we'd settle it by doffing our jackets and spilling into the street, like gentlemen.  Online, that is not so easy, not since Online Pub closed.  I never investigated why Online closed, and left shortly after, though coincidentally.

[StreetCowboy]

2 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

For one thing:

 

The THUMBS DOWN emoji, newly introduced, cannot be helpful.

 

This kind of emoji just leads to divisiveness, and not cohesiveness, in the group....AKA....TV.

 

So, it would be good to get rid of the Thumbs-Down emoji....ASAP.

 

This kind of emoji is totally misbegotten, and has no positive effect for the forum.

 

But, I guess everyone already knew this, and.....

 

I guess, whoever suggested introducing the Thumbs-Down emoji .....that person....

Probably does not wish TV well....

 

Just my guess.

 

And I know that I am right....

As usual....

OBVIOUSLY.

 

 

Note: Many new innovations on TV have been positive.  However, the Thumbs-Down emoji is a disaster in the making.

 

And, there are some who love disasters......of course.

 

Back in the day, we had red and green symbols, to show whether you drank McEwans or Heineken, but when Scottish Brewers were split between Heineken and Diageo, those became a thing of the past.

[Aussie999]

2 hours ago, newbee2022 said:

What does it mean? 🤔 

There you go, you just proved my point... Thank you

[newbee2022]

1 minute ago, Aussie999 said:

There you go, you just proved my point... Thank you

And you don't know what you're posting? You have to use a Ghostwriter? Wow 😮 

[Keep Right]

On 4/29/2025 at 5:11 AM, spidermike007 said:

Cognitive rigidity seems to be a big one here. Those that seem to be able to dance on their feet and maintain an open mind seem to have a much better chance of getting along with others. I'm often discussing politics as many of you have noticed but it really ever becomes personal for me. On the other hand I'm very frequently attacked for not paying sufficient fealty to the current circus clown. 

And why would someone often discuss politics if it is not personal and effect them? Perhaps denial such as an alcoholic would have toward admitting that they are a drunk.

[save the frogs]

It's fairly obvious that ENVY is often a motivator for hostilities, in real life and online.

 

Some folks like to brag about things, how many girls they banged, etc ...  They will get attacked more. Envy is part of human nature. 

 

[3NUMBAS]

Shrunken scrotum ?

[Fat is a type of crazy]

9 hours ago, dinsdale said:

Simple. Some on here will never admit they're wrong no matter what evidence is given. They'd argue black and blue that white is actually black and black is actually white.

Funny Headline: Avid Trump supporter takes people who never admit they are wrong to task. 

[Magictoad]

It's a trick question!

[save the frogs]

14 hours ago, Magictoad said:

It's a trick question!

that's right. don't answer it!

 

[Chris Daley]

Don't worry soon the thought police will tell you exactly what to think and when to think it.  And then no more nasty things that you disagree with.