How did your dad influence your life

[Presnock]

my dad taught me to be honest to a fault, don't waste money on anything you can't afford, save money for a rainy day, work hard and earn your paycheck, said he never met any really religious person that respected that religion's rules, never drank alcohol, never smoked cigarettes but did try a pipe for a while and said to never accept anything from the government that wasn't earned.  A man I respect even after his death, possibly even more than ever before.  His dad died when he was 11 years old, he quit school to earn money to support his 6 siblings and his mother and he wasn't the eldest.  later he began working at age 18 in a manufacturing plant, started pushing a broom as the janitor but 40 years later he retired as the plant manager.  During his tenure, he was a shift supervisor for many years, and while they had 4 shifts, his shift always had a higher efficiency rating even when his bosses moved him to each of the other shifts.  He was a racist but at his viewing after he died, half the people that visited my family, were black and each told me that he was the best boss ever and treated the blacks exactly the same as the whites.  My greatest skill as a federal employee was knowing how to get the most out of each employee and I learned that skill from my dad who was sent to several different colleges during his career for management courses and a he finished one, he would sit me down and discuss the entire processes that was taught.  Though very little schooling, he certainly exceled at people management as I did too so that I ended up as a manager with a much better pension than all of my peers, each of whom had much more formal schooling (i.e. masters and phd's) than me - a couple of college courses only.

[save the frogs]

11 hours ago, grain said:

I've never owned a credit card, but have a couple of debit cards for use when paying online.

do debit cards have fraud protection?

i understand not wanting to get into debt, but credit cards may be necessary in some instances. 

 

[Harrisfan]

8 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

do debit cards have fraud protection?

i understand not wanting to get into debt, but credit cards may be necessary in some instances. 

 

Debit cards can be limited and money put aside

[KannikaP]

3 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

Thanks for the topic.

 

Now plodders and plonkers give it a go

How can you thank yourself for starting a topic?

[Negita43]

Father died when I was 3 months old of TB so one thing he left me was a resistance to it (No BCG jab needed at age 11).

Largely my development was influenced by my mother some good some bad. For example she was a control freak and I try very hard not to be.

[Stocky]

I don't much remember my father, he died when I was eight.

[Jingthing]

Good question.

Probably the main influences.

Following his philosophy which was Enjoy Each Miserable Day (during working life).

Retire from work as soon as humanly possible.

Of course it's different if you love your work and/or your work brings satisfaction by doing great things to help people.

But most people's work is drudgery. 

 

Additionally some maybe questionable life lessons:

Don't be a patsy.  (Downside of that is being too slow to trust people.)

Over compensate later in life for earlier deprivations. (Downside obvious.)

 

Odd thing:

My Dad who was extremely mechanically gifted discouraged me from following that (didn't even want me to watch him when he fixed cars, etc.), so I didn't. But maybe he knew best -- on testing the only area I test poorly on is mechanical aptitude. 

 

By observation to do the opposite:

He had big issues with debt.

Debt is slavery.

Other than a mortgage one time which ended up making me a fortune on resale and an idiotic car lease deal the biggest financial mistake in my life, I've never been in debt and always pay off my credit cards in full.  Buy used cars for cash!

[Negita43]

12 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

i understand not wanting to get into debt, but credit cards may be necessary in some instances. 

Credit cards are great as long as you can pay them off every month. I also make full use of 0% offers - currently paying off my last UK trip at 0% until 2026 BUT and it is a big BUT I always have enough in my reserves to pay it off in full if the need arises. I work on the basis of "better in my Bank account than theirs".

[FolkGuitar]

My dad gave it his best shot, but had no idea how to be a father. I guess his father was the same, and I certainly turned out exactly like him. But he taught me to question. He taught me to think for myself. He rarely 'answered' a question, but instead, 'asked' me a question whose answer led me toward a good clue as to answering my original problem, figuring it out for myself. Called the 'Socratic Method,' I've used it for the past 60 years as a teacher. He provided for his family... we never wanted for anything. He was in favor of, and paid for, whatever lessons I wanted to take, be it drums, horseback riding, golf, guitar, fencing... anything other than bagpipes. He made that very clear.

I know he loved me, but he had no idea how to show it, emotionally. Despite that, my memories of him are all positive.

[fredwiggy]

2 hours ago, hotsun said:

I remember my father whipped me with a belt and kept me locked in his car for a couple hours while he worked. Im better with my kids than he was with me. He should have known that the only things i would remember about him were those things, so he cant be surprised that i dont talk to him anymore. Hes also a democrat

My dad hit me a couple of times until the last time where I laughed at him. It was the same time I beat him arm wrestling and that humbled him. After that we got along better. He was stern but not abusive. My mom was the affectionate one. What dad taught me was you provide for your family, you cook dinner,often,  clean up after yourself. He was a hunter and fisherman, although we didn't go together hunting, I picked it up after I left the house. I feared him even if he only ht me those few times Later I respected what he did for us when I had my own kids, and never hit them, and spent more time with them and taught them music, movies, working out, respect for animals and belief in God. He was into electronics, magic, photography and Ham Radio, and he wanted to teach me those but I wasn't interested then.

[proton]

He was never around

[GammaGlobulin]

Unfortunately, he was human.

And, so was his dad (father).

 

This is how the crap gets passed down, from one generation to the next.

 

Fortunately, in our world, there are lower animals that exist on a much higher plain.

 

Humans are dirty animals, as my father often told me.

 

Dirty, I say.

 

But, in fact....

The lower animals, with smaller brains, are far cleaner.

 

Just swab the human mouth, and take a culture, if you don't believe me.

 

I would rather kiss a lower animal than a human in Pattaya, or NYC, for example.

 

 

[KhunLA]

Live a completely opposite lifestyle of his and ma's and I'll be much better off. 

 

They were chain smoking, alcoholics & bigots and damn embarrassing at times.

 

Aside from the bigot part, they walked it like they talked it, and had a big heart, so big respect there.  No hypocrisy. 

[hankypankee]

3 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

Plonker

So that confirms it, you've got nothing of value to post. Just an empty shell. 

[MalcolmB]

38 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

What dad taught me was you provide for your family, you cook dinner,often,  clean up after yourself

That is what mothers are for.

Womens work.

 

The problem is other women see these simps and then expect all men to do it. 

[fredwiggy]

2 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

That is what mothers are for.

Womens work.

 

The problem is other women see these simps and then expect all men to do it. 

Tell that to the simps face and you'll find out many men who cook also are very strong, fast and deadly. And being a misogynist only has you ending up with women for money, or those that are easily controlled. Helping a woman around the house shows you're a man. Boys let women do all the work, because their dads never taught them how.

[FolkGuitar]

11 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

That is what mothers are for.

Womens work.

 

The problem is other women see these simps and then expect all men to do it. 

 

Statistics show that men who help with the housework get laid more often. 🙂

[MalcolmB]

1 minute ago, FolkGuitar said:

 

Statistics show that men who help with the housework get laid more often. 🙂

I doubt it. 
They will be too tired after working all day and then coming home to more hours of housework. 

[MalcolmB]

11 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Helping a woman around the house shows you're a man.

No it doesn’t. 
Sounds like you have been brain washed by feminists to be honest. 
 

That is what I like about Thai culture, the women do the womens work, they do it well and they don’t complain about it.

 

Your Thai wife left you, probably for a real man.

[fredwiggy]

1 minute ago, MalcolmB said:

I doubt it. 
They will be too tired after working all day and then coming home to more hours of housework. 

Over your head. It's sure worked for me, and a few of my like minded friends. Women appreciate a real man. One who does provide and also helps with the children, housework, does the wash, cooks dinner, yard work. A misogynist, especially one who doesn't understand communication with a woman, will get sex begrudgingly, a resentment doesn't make good bedfellows.

[Harrisfan]

25 minutes ago, hankypankee said:

So that confirms it, you've got nothing of value to post. Just an empty shell. 

My dad said be a good listener. I guess yours never taught you anything but to whinge.

[fredwiggy]

1 minute ago, MalcolmB said:

No it doesn’t. 
Sounds like you have been brain washed by feminists to be honest. 
 

That is what I like about Thai culture, the women do the womens work, they do it well and they don’t complain about it.

 

Your Thai wife left you, probably for a real man.

It's you that's been brainwashed by misogynist, weak boys thinking. Women here are looked at as inferior from the get go. That's why they do the "womens work", take care of the kids, cook and clean. It's because the men are misogynists and weak, and one reason so many look to the west for partners. Women here do complain, to other women. If you actually knew any women here well, they would tell you the same thing.

 

I divorced my Thai wife because she's a lying, cheating, covert narcissist that abused me, her daughter and tried on our daughter until I stopped it. She wanted to come back and didn't want the divorce, and was hitting on me the day before she married her new husband. A fat man who sends her money and does nothing else. Is 5 years younger and looks 5 years older. And she will trash him eventually the more time goes by, as a leopard doesn't change it's spots. 

 

You'll never be half the man I am, and I can see this alone by how you reply to posts, especially the one where the man kicked the 6 year old boy in the head. Sticking up for that kind of scumbag shows your true colors.

[Harrisfan]

1 hour ago, KannikaP said:

How can you thank yourself for starting a topic?

I didnt. Laccessit idea. I thanked him.

[jas007]

My father, along with every other member of my family, still lives in my head.

 

I'm almost 74, and I'm still trying to figure out the craziness.  I guess I'll leave it at that, other than to say I never wanted for anything. 

[MalcolmB]

25 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

She wanted to come back and didn't want the divorce, and was hitting on me the day before she married her new husband. A fat man who sends her money and does nothing else. Is 5 years younger and looks 5 years older.

Sounds like a keeper!

 

Where did you find her Fred?

 

Do you think it might have been your cooking that turned her off you? American cuisine isn’t to everyone’s tastes and is very fattening.

 

I bet you the new husband doesn’t cook and do dishes. 

[MalcolmB]

28 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Women here are looked at as inferior from the get go.

What is your point?

[fredwiggy]

1 minute ago, MalcolmB said:

Sounds like a keeper!

 

Where did you find her Fred?

 

Do you think it might have been your cooking that turned her off you? American cuisine isn’t to everyone’s tastes and is very fattening.

 

I bet you the new husband doesn’t cook and do dishes. 

Do you have a problem comprehending what others write or just dismiss it in favor of your own ego fortifying nonsense? It might be better for your reputation here to stop thinking you know anything about the US or it's people. I'm actually a very good cook and she loved it. American cuisine isn't fattening in general. Food can be fattening in all countries, all depending on how it's prepared and with what ingredients. Seeing your mommy did all the cooking, I'm seeing you don't realize this. If her new husband doesn't cook or do dishes, then he's like many of the worlds "boys" who think women are their slaves. They aren't.

[fredwiggy]

4 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

What is your point?

Over your head. Re-read all of this conversation and maybe you'll get it.

[hotsun]

58 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

That is what mothers are for.

Womens work.

 

The problem is other women see these simps and then expect all men to do it. 

Yes its true. Then when you do their work they lose respect for you

[MalcolmB]

4 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Do you have a problem comprehending what others write or just dismiss it in favor of your own ego fortifying nonsense? It might be better for your reputation here to stop thinking you know anything about the US or it's people. I'm actually a very good cook and she loved it. American cuisine isn't fattening in general. Food can be fattening in all countries, all depending on how it's prepared and with what ingredients. Seeing your mommy did all the cooking, I'm seeing you don't realize this. If her new husband doesn't cook or do dishes, then he's like many of the worlds "boys" who think women are their slaves. They aren't.

That is very woke of you Fred.

But it doesn’t wash with Thai women, who do all the washing.

It sounds like she never really respected you and you confused her.

She wanted a man, not a housemaid.

 

i wish her all the best with her new man. 
Is he Thai or another foreigner?