Settled on 20K With My Lovely Bubble-Tea Gal – Fair Deal or Digging a Deeper Hole?

[123Stodg]

So, I wanted to post a quick follow-up here rather than reply to my original thread (which has kind of taken on a life of its own).

 

I ended up having a proper talk with my girl about the money issue. I brought up the family support thing and asked where the pressure was really coming from. She got a bit emotional and said her parents have been asking questions, especially about me being older and not meaningfully contributing anything to her life. I guess in their eyes the situation makes me look unserious, uncaring or even disrespectful.

 

We talked it through and settled on something a bit lower at 20,000 baht a month. I’ll explain in a minute why I even pushed for less, when in fact the amount itself really isn't the issue for me. But she seems happy with this figure, her family is apparently fine with it, and honestly, it’s not a big burden for me financially. I would’ve gone for 30K if that’s what it will take, and if it gives her some peace of mind, I figure that's worth something in itself.

 

That said, I’d be lying if I said there isn’t a small part of me wondering if the pressure really is from the family, or if she’s just framing it that way to make the request sound more acceptable. That’s why I attempted to nudge the amount down a bit, I wanted to test the waters, see how she’d respond to a lesser figure, and try to suss out if I'm just getting fully rinsed here. 

 

She’s always been affectionate and sweet, and I want to believe it’s all sincere, but this is Thailand after all. Part of me can’t help but wonder if I’m slowly sliding into a situation where I’m paying for affection, but whether I really am or not remains the big question. Maybe I’m just overthinking. Maybe it’s totally genuine. And I'd feel like a complete knob if I was making any wrong assumptions about her. But the thought still creeps in now and then.

 

Does agreeing to this kind of setup mean I’ve already lost my sensibilities and fallen straight down into the rabbit hole? Or is this just part of the deal when you’re a foreigner dating someone younger with a low salary and family obligations? Like I said, I’m fine with the money, I just don’t want to end up being a fool who thought he had something meaningful, when really, maybe I'm just another foreign sponsor in a Thai romance that comes with a fixed monthly fee. 

 

Or maybe I should just give her the full 30,000 baht if it simply makes everyone happy. After all, it's not really that much money these days, is it?

[Photoguy21]

Your choice. It is your money after all. Someone is going to tell you to open your eyes. I hope it works out well for you.

[hotsun]

 I recommend you buy a nintendo switch and a couple games for 20,000 baht instead. Save your money for when sex bots become affordable, the conversation will probably be more stimulating

[JakeC]

Don't worry, it's all copacetic, according to our remittance expert @Cameroni. The money is just you showing responsibility for your possessions. In order to have the illusion of possession, you need to pay maintenance. 

That's all. Completely normal. Carry on.

[EVENKEEL]

Very sound decision. 

[JoseThailand]

major troll at it again

 

better tell us more about your escapades with ladyboys

 

wait a sec.. 

 

bob?1 is that you??

[VictorInBKK]

38 minutes ago, 123Stodg said:

So, I wanted to post a quick follow-up here rather than reply to my original thread (which has kind of taken on a life of its own).

 

I ended up having a proper talk with my girl about the money issue. I brought up the family support thing and asked where the pressure was really coming from. She got a bit emotional and said her parents have been asking questions, especially about me being older and not meaningfully contributing anything to her life. I guess in their eyes the situation makes me look unserious, uncaring or even disrespectful.

 

We talked it through and settled on something a bit lower at 20,000 baht a month. I’ll explain in a minute why I even pushed for less, when in fact the amount itself really isn't the issue for me. But she seems happy with this figure, her family is apparently fine with it, and honestly, it’s not a big burden for me financially. I would’ve gone for 30K if that’s what it will take, and if it gives her some peace of mind, I figure that's worth something in itself.

 

That said, I’d be lying if I said there isn’t a small part of me wondering if the pressure really is from the family, or if she’s just framing it that way to make the request sound more acceptable. That’s why I attempted to nudge the amount down a bit, I wanted to test the waters, see how she’d respond to a lesser figure, and try to suss out if I'm just getting fully rinsed here. 

 

She’s always been affectionate and sweet, and I want to believe it’s all sincere, but this is Thailand after all. Part of me can’t help but wonder if I’m slowly sliding into a situation where I’m paying for affection, but whether I really am or not remains the big question. Maybe I’m just overthinking. Maybe it’s totally genuine. And I'd feel like a complete knob if I was making any wrong assumptions about her. But the thought still creeps in now and then.

 

Does agreeing to this kind of setup mean I’ve already lost my sensibilities and fallen straight down into the rabbit hole? Or is this just part of the deal when you’re a foreigner dating someone younger with a low salary and family obligations? Like I said, I’m fine with the money, I just don’t want to end up being a fool who thought he had something meaningful, when really, maybe I'm just another foreign sponsor in a Thai romance that comes with a fixed monthly fee. 

 

Or maybe I should just give her the full 30,000 baht if it simply makes everyone happy. After all, it's not really that much money these days, is it?

Sounds like prostitution to me. Neither of you care about each other nor about yourselves. Enjoy if that's the best you think you can aim for!

[BritManToo]

Should have paid 10kbht/month plus 1kbht tip every time you bang her.

Consider it performance related pay .........

And it'll stop her avoiding sex, which is a general problem for many men in LTRs.

[sidjameson]

Your mom will be so proud when you tell her about your negotiating skills.

[FriscoKid]

Welcome to the hub of getting fully rinsed, mate. But hey, look on the bright side, at least she didn’t tap you for 100K a month. Don’t worry though, give it time. They always start small, then suddenly you’re sponsoring a whole village and building her auntie a house.

[3NUMBAS]

There are Thai guys that rent out their wives and think nothing of it,cash is more important

[HappyExpat57]

Still waiting for pics, Bob.

[frank83628]

 MUG.

[worgeordie]

You should have given her 50 K Baht , then her family could live

in away they are unaccustomed to ,you say money is no problem

right ,

 

regards Worgeordie

[Cameroni]

20000 is still way too high.

 

She makes 9000 to 12000 selling bubble tea.

 

Why would you pay her 20000?

 

Still better than 30000, but way too high.

 

Don't forget these old parents will get sick, there will be several crisis. They will need a fridge or washing machine or ac. Or wifi. You will pay more than budgeted. Due to additional demands.

 

She's taking advantage of you, but it is coming from her parents, not from her.Still, she's obviously in cahoots with them.

[KhaoHom]

That's still too much

 

The family...that was a lie.

 

She's making 15k selling tea as well.

 

If you're out and about with her on cheap dates 2x a week and banging her 2x a week - they may coincide it's sorta fair money.

 

You've been played.

 

Post a picture. Full body, face with her eyes censored. I'm guessing she's not half what you say.

[nightfox]

[FriscoKid]

17 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

20000 is still way too high.

Are you kidding me? That's a stellar deal. Long time is at least 3,000 Baht a night. He's getting 30 long times a month for a total of only 20K! Normally it would cost close to 100K a month for that. Even with a frequent flyer discount of 20%, that would still be around 70K a month. 20K is a steal!

[Magictoad]

Does that include going all the way? How many other BF has she got?

Does she do it ALL ways or just orthodox? I'm thinking Greek. You might as well get your value for money.

[Quentin Zen]

I assume all these stories are made up...   

 

Would you really come onto a forum and ask some "people" how to manage your own money? No, of course not.  

 

It is fun, and one day I might read it.   One thing I can guarantee.....this story isn't done.  Nobody who likes these posts ends at only two.

 

Next update  My bubble is pregnant and needs 1 million for her sick sister who got kidnapped by a ninja.   Then we'll get into some really crazy stuff......

 

being creative is good, but this isn't my first rodeo.  Surprise us next time!!!!!  

[ronnie50]

Did you find out if she has a 'samee' - husband or live-in bf? If she is attractive she'll have one for sure. Are you saying the discussion includes her cohabitating with you or just dating? If it's the latter, I'd walk away. But that's me. The money is most likely for her and the b'friend to spend when you're not around. I bet her parents know nothing about this.

[khunphil]

Are you really that emotionally involved .. or are you just having fun trolling ? First Thread, 235 answers/remarks/questions/sarcasms ... and not a single reply from you... and you are doing it all again . I have read threads from some nice guys here, with quite the same problem, trying to justify themselves, or understand what they should do ... but you ? no ... 1 threads, 40 lines ... then ready to write the next one.

[Bday Prang]

240,000 per year     you must be mad

[bubblegum]

another troll post by the OP. 

[blaze master]

I'll do it for 15. 

[save the frogs]

12 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

Or maybe I should just give her the full 30,000 baht if it simply makes everyone happy. After all, it's not really that much money these days, is it?

 

Tell her she should pay you, because you have the biggest d*ck in town. 

 

[Krillin]

@123Stodg Would you please describe exactly how big the age gap here is? And, how are you, physically? Are we talking about a physically healthy, 22-year-old girl in the prime of her life and, theoretically, a mordibly obese, 60-year-old divorced man nearing the end of his?

 

Or, are you a rare genetic lottery winner who's in his fifties but looks like he's in his 30s and who has no health problems at all, no drug addictions, no smoking habits... no grandkids...? Those kinds of factors are important.

 

If it's the former, it really seems difficult to believe that you're anything but an ATM she has to sleep with to get money out of. But if it's the former, it would be a different story.

[HappyExpat57]

11 minutes ago, bubblegum said:

another troll post by the OP. 

Most of us already know this, we're just killing time and playing along. Better here than the political soapbox. Do we really care who that man is behind the curtain?

 

[hotsun]

8 minutes ago, Krillin said:

@123Stodg Would you please describe exactly how big the age gap here is? And, how are you, physically? Are we talking about a physically healthy, 22-year-old girl in the prime of her life and, theoretically, a mordibly obese, 60-year-old divorced man nearing the end of his? Or, are you a rare genetic lottery winner who's in his fifties but looks like he's in his 30s and who has no health problems at all, no drug addictions, no smoking habits... no grandkids...? Those kinds of factors are important.

The girl is not worth it regardless of who the OP is. A western girl isnt worth it either

[Cameroni]

46 minutes ago, FriscoKid said:

Are you kidding me? That's a stellar deal. Long time is at least 3,000 Baht a night. He's getting 30 long times a month for a total of only 20K! Normally it would cost close to 100K a month for that. Even with a frequent flyer discount of 20%, that would still be around 70K a month. 20K is a steal!

 

Don't be ridiculous, he's not buying a sex machine. You're comparing with whores. But you should be comparing with what the market actually offers, and these girls can earn 9000 to 15000 selling bubble tea, that's a normal salary. 

 

Why should he pay more than she could make working full time? That would be crazy.

 

No, you have to look at the market. Even a girl working full time in a factory makes 9000 baht. So he's clearly overpaying. She's getting a privilege after all, entering his affluent lifestyle, care and affection, gifts.