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Beach Road Sunset: Five Skint Indian Blokes, One Bird, and Zero Filthy Shame
Yeah mates, so there I am, down Beach Road yesterday, early evening, just fancied a bit of sunset therapy, you know? Bit of sea breeze, nice little iced coffee in me mitt, not botherin’ no one. Just wanted to sit there, watch the sun go down like some retired east-end mob boss reflectin’ on all his bad moves. Lovely scene. Peaceful. Romantic almost, if I weren’t sat there alone with me own caffeine breath. Anyway, I’m posted there on the wall, takin’ it all in, when along comes one of the local working girls. You know the type, flip flops, battered handbag, makeup done with a paint roller, attractive enough, bless her. Gives me a little nod, has a chat, polite like, askin’ if I’m after a bit of company. I tell her straight, “Nah love, I’ve already been out doin’ dishonorable things earlier this evening, I’m just here for the sunset, but no extra cardio this eve, yeah, love.” She laughs, sits herself about two meters away, scrollin’ her phone, not a bother. Gives me a cheeky smile once or twice, but that’s it. Nice and civil. Just two humans enjoyin’ the last bit of daylight before the freaks come out. And right on cue, like the gates of hell openin’, up rocks a squad of five Indian geezers. Matching shirts, matching pot bellies, same hair gel, same BO, lookin’ like they’ve just come fresh from a “How to Be Annoyin’ in Public” seminar. And they clock her, surroundin’ her like a pack of stray dogs round a bin bag of leftover curry. I’m just sittin’ there watchin’, iced coffee in hand like David Attenborough narratin’ the decline of Western civilisation. They start chattin’ her up, but not normal, polite like. Nah, they’re tryna work out some kinda group discount, like she’s a KFC meal deal. One of ‘em’s askin’, “How much for all of us together? Special price, madam?” I nearly spat me coffee out. What is this? Buy four get one free? It’s not a buffet, bruv, it’s a woman. And she’s sittin’ there, bless her, rollin’ her eyes, lookin’ like she’s regrettin’ every life choice that led her to this moment. I felt bad for her. She don’t deserve that nonsense. Eventually she tells em' to sod off. And I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, what’s wrong with these blokes? Is it stinginess or just full-blown homoerotic confusion? Who looks at their four best, sweaty mates and thinks, “Tell you what lads, let’s all have a go on the same bird like it’s a relay race”? It’s grim, mate. Proper grim. I don’t know if they’re cheap, deranged, or some stealth uphill gardeners. Probably all the above. Anyway, I finished me iced coffee, nodded to the poor girl like “Good luck, love,” and wandered off down the promenade, wonderin’ when humanity fully lost the plot. Lovely sunset though for a Saturday. Shame about the view in front of it. -
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Israel’s Strikes Leave Iran Reeling Amid Escalating Conflict
Trump started this War. I hope the US does not end up losing many lives as this will be lasting as a second forever War. -
48
UK Gibraltar Deal Triggers Backlash: UK ‘surrendering Gibraltar’
"Aborigines" "For me they're Aborigines. You don't like it? Scroll on" -
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The dreaded 12 month Marriage Extension - Samut Prakan
Quick and easy is in the eye of the beholder. One year immigration said the KR2 was too old and to pop down to the local amphur in Sri Ratcha and get a new one. This was about 10.30 in the morning and the guy at the amphur said come back about 4pm. We drove along to Chonburi and did it in about 15 minutes, back by the time immigration reopened after lunch. Best check with the amphur that nothing taking place before deciding to go, the KR 2 only needs to be recent. You should be able to get the letter and statement from any branch so look for one close to immigration. -
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Pattaya Was Never Stocked With Hotties, Bruv — It’s Always Been Fat Birds and Old Plonkers
Lewie is definitely not Bob the bore. -
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UK Aid Budget Strained as Asylum Hotel Costs Surge Amidst Overseas Cuts
“ the Pierres” Makes sense
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